Why Is Polygamy So Controversial?

deafbajagal said:
Let people marry whoever they want as many as they want. As long as they are consenting adults. Government, butt out of our personal lives PLEASE.
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In cults, it's not really consensual. Brain washing is usually involved on the women's part.
 
deafdyke said:
Um not quite. It's about males being self centered and feeding their ego about how they can get all these women. It's not about having a real loving healthy realtionship with women. It's about seeing women as possessions.
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Which is a Westernized value system.:cool2: It has nothing to do with being self centered or feeding their ego. It is the accepted norm for the way their society is set up. You are attributing motive from your own Westernized perspective of how things are supposed to be.
 
deafdyke said:
Um not quite. It's about males being self centered and feeding their ego about how they can get all these women. It's not about having a real loving healthy realtionship with women. It's about seeing women as possessions.
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Using that logic, it sounds like youre saying women cant think for themselves.

Im not talking about the child marriages. There are people that marry one child. Using that agrument, Is like saying all marraige is bad.

Im talking about 2 consenting adults.
 
Doug5 said:
Using that logic, it sounds like youre saying women cant think for themselves.

Im not talking about the child marriages. There are people that marry one child. Using that agrument, Is like saying all marraige is bad.

Im talking about 2 consenting adults.
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I was a child marriage in the Mormon religion. One child is *TOO* many in my opinion.
 
rebeccalj said:
I was a child marriage in the Mormon religion. One child is *TOO* many in my opinion.
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Do you mean to say that you were married when you were a child in a Mormom polygamous marriage?

Just asking to clarify.
 
Steinhauer said:
Do you mean to say that you were married when you were a child in a Mormom polygamous marriage?

Just asking to clarify.
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Sorry, my parents were Orthadox Mormon, as opposed to Mormon. I think this is topic. I was just turn 18 a few weeks and married off to a man who I do not know but was just 4 year older than me. Odd that. I was probably deemed 'lucky.' I was a virgin bride, did not know anything about sex back then, nothing. I left him, abusive husband that he was, not even 3 year into marriage with him. Entire family disown me. Take my two older daughters and hid them hoping I come back to marriage. I did not and fought? in court in BC for 7 year to get my two babies back. I won.

Is that you question?

ETA: Sorry, not polygamous marriage but I know of others my age who were.
 
rebeccalj said:
Sorry, my parents were Orthadox Mormon, as opposed to Mormon. I think this is topic. I was just turn 18 a few weeks and married off to a man who I do not know but was just 4 year older than me. Odd that. I was probably deemed 'lucky.' I was a virgin bride, did not know anything about sex back then, nothing. I left him, abusive husband that he was, not even 3 year into marriage with him.

Is that you question?
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So it was a pre-arranged marriage? Sorry for being nosy.
 
Steinhauer said:
So it was a pre-arranged marriage? Sorry for being nosy.
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It's *NOT* nosy. If people never ask, or care, how do you ever know the secret behind close door. People should *always* ask!

I don't know how to say "arranged" but that is how I explain it to hearies. Like East Indian marriages? But I am not East Indian...just white Danish Deaf gal.

My parents meet with his family and "sell" me to them if that make sense? Say I make good wife. Have lots of kids.

Bullshit! We marry and he is horrible to me. He *rape* me once and say it is his right as husband. Do not have cheque book or key to home. He want hide me. Not want me to have identity. Do you understand?
 
rebeccalj said:
It's *NOT* nosy. If people never ask, or care, how do you ever know the secret behind close door. People should *always* ask!

I don't know how to say "arranged" but that is how I explain it to hearies. Like East Indian marriages? But I am not East Indian...just white Danish Deaf gal.

My parents meet with his family and "sell" me to them if that make sense? Say I make good wife. Have lots of kids.

Bullshit! We marry and he is horrible to me. He *rape* me once and say it is his right as husband. Do not have cheque book or key to home. He want hide me. Not want me to have identity. Do you understand?
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rebeccalj, I absolutely understand. Thank you for answering my questions. My wife went through a similar situation with her ex husband (the part bolded in red in your post). He took away her mobile device so she couldn't commnuicate with family, took away the videophone and locked her in the apartment for .....three ..... months!

And he got away with it :mad::mad::mad:

But ... it's over now.
 
Steinhauer said:
rebeccalj, I absolutely understand. Thank you for answering my questions. My wife went through a similar situation with her ex husband (the part bolded in red in your post). He took away her mobile device so she couldn't commnuicate with family, took away the videophone and locked her in the apartment for .....three ..... months!

And he got away with it :mad::mad::mad:

But ... it's over now.
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That *BREAK* my heart to read that!! Please give extra hug to wife from me!

There are too many of us in this society. Wow!! My ex got away with the abuse as well but he did *NOT* get to keep our babies full time.
 
rebeccalj said:
That *BREAK* my heart to read that!! Please give extra hug to wife from me!
There are too many of us in this society. Wow!! My ex got away with the abuse as well but he did *NOT* get to keep our babies full time.
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I give her a hug and kiss every day. She was traumatized.
 
Steinhauer said:
I give her a hug and kiss every day. She was traumatized.
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I am no surprised. I sometimes feel traumatized if someone, how do you say, aggressive? toward me. "DON'T TOUCH ME LIKE THAT!!"

Horrible that women experience *RAPE* from husband. The person you are supposed to trust. Sad.
 
Wirelessly posted

Reba said:
Doug5 said:
It happend in the Bible and other major religions....
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In happened historically in the world, and the Bible recorded that. God never approved of polygamy.
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I agree Reba, and the records in the Bible also show that it causes nothing but trouble.
 
rebeccalj said:
It's *NOT* nosy. If people never ask, or care, how do you ever know the secret behind close door. People should *always* ask!

I don't know how to say "arranged" but that is how I explain it to hearies. Like East Indian marriages? But I am not East Indian...just white Danish Deaf gal.

My parents meet with his family and "sell" me to them if that make sense? Say I make good wife. Have lots of kids
yBullshit! We marry and he is horrible to me. He *rape* me once and say it is his right as husband. Do not have cheque book or key to home. He want hide me. Not want me to have identity. Do you understand?
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I'm sorry you went through this. Many husbands (and wives) justify rape by saying the spouse is obligated to have sex...that's not true. You have the right to say NO even if you're married. I'm glad you're out and won the custody case. You are one of the few lucky ones. Often domestic cases are not taken seriously in the legal system and that's a shame. In fact, many police departments do not consider calls of domestic violence serious enough to respond immediately to emergency calls...domestic calls are not a priority. Thankfully this is changing, but not fast enough for me.
 
Back to the topic...not all multi-partner relationships will result in cult behavior (keep in mind that even denominations started as a cult when they were new and different...until society accepted them as being part of the norm)...or child marriages ...or prone to sexual violence. With that said...If I wanted to marry two men, why can't I? What right does the government has to say NO? I can understand regulating insurance policies and things like that...but still. Economically, it would be good to have more income, more chances of having sex (since men stop being interested after a while and knowing there's another dude who could do the deed for him might either relieve the pressure or make him competitive to do more), and there's more chances the trash will be taken out.
 
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