Why adults choose CI's for their children

Status
Not open for further replies.
SarahsDad said:
Hi Liebling,
Thanks so much for you reply. I'm sorry that your parents didn't learn sign. It's not that uncommon, :hug:. I know that learing another language can be difficult, especially as we get older. I've been trying with slow success to learn Spanish. My fear is that I will be slow learning ASL also. On the other hand with my daughter I have all the motivation.-SarahsDad
Click to expand...

I heard of a statistic (anyone please confirm or deny) but have not seen the source. I was told that only 20% of the parents of deaf children actuall learn to sign. Sure it's difficult but how could you not want to communicate with your child. Perhaps there are parents out there that decide on CI's so that they don't have to take the time to learn sign language. If true, I think that is sad. For me, learning to sign would be of minimal consideration for the critera of deciding on a CI. That would be a totally selfish reason.
 
rockdrummer said:
I heard of a statistic (anyone please confirm or deny) but have not seen the source. I was told that only 20% of the parents of deaf children actuall learn to sign. Sure it's difficult but how could you not want to communicate with your child. Perhaps there are parents out there that decide on CI's so that they don't have to take the time to learn sign language. If true, I think that is sad. For me, learning to sign would be of minimal consideration for the critera of deciding on a CI. That would be a totally selfish reason.
Click to expand...


Parents Not Learning Sign Language - Why?

Another reason could be that they don't see learning ASL as a need to do thing. They work too many hours to devote time to learning, or they just flat out don't want to learn. Another reason could be that they are embarrasssed to use signs in public because it does tend to draw some attention..
Click to expand...
 
*nodding sadly*

I noticed that CI children didn´t know that they are deaf because their parents didn´t sign them and didn´t show them to deaf culture. Yes I realized that hearing parents think CI is work on babies and toddler because they do not need sign them.


I don´t have to learn how to speak for my children because they are hearing. I sign my children since they are babies. My children accept what I am as I accept what they are.
 
rockdrummer said:
Perhaps there are parents out there that decide on CI's so that they don't have to take the time to learn sign language. If true, I think that is sad. For me, learning to sign would be of minimal consideration for the critera of deciding on a CI. That would be a totally selfish reason.
Click to expand...

It's not that straighforward.

When we got confirmed that our daughter was deaf (she was 1 year old) we started signing immediately. (And the other two kids)
We continued that up to now, but we also notice that SHE uses less sign towards us because she prefers to speak.
We will not discourage this since we feel that with CI the focus has to be on speach. She's learning a new language and shows that she is enjoying it and knows how to use it to it's full potential.
It's like when you are learning a foreign language in a foreign country. When in Italy, you can pick up some italian even when italians are helping you in english. But if you want to learn it, you have stop peak english and use italian all the way. Of course soem help is good to have (In my daughters case - sign).
So, it's not just the choice of the parent. The child will also make her own choice based on the comfort level of the new language.
 
rockdrummer said:
Perhaps there are parents out there that decide on CI's so that they don't have to take the time to learn sign language. If true, I think that is sad. For me, learning to sign would be of minimal consideration for the critera of deciding on a CI. That would be a totally selfish reason.
Click to expand...

I agree completely. We're making sure that we land in the 20% of parents that learn ASL. I'm wondering about the rest of the familiy. How does the child interact with them if they don't learn ASL and what is that experiance like. I haven't seen any statistics at all about ther percentage of other family members learning ASL, but if it's only 20% for parents, who have all the motivation, then it must be a very low number.

One of the best things I've heard was the parent becomming an ASL interpreter. That way you could really become fluent and do it quickly.

-SarahsDad
 
Cloggy said:
It's not that straighforward.

When we got confirmed that our daughter was deaf (she was 1 year old) we started signing immediately. (And the other two kids)
We continued that up to now, but we also notice that SHE uses less sign towards us because she prefers to speak.
We will not discourage this since we feel that with CI the focus has to be on speach. She's learning a new language and shows that she is enjoying it and knows how to use it to it's full potential.
It's like when you are learning a foreign language in a foreign country. When in Italy, you can pick up some italian even when italians are helping you in english. But if you want to learn it, you have stop peak english and use italian all the way. Of course soem help is good to have (In my daughters case - sign).
So, it's not just the choice of the parent. The child will also make her own choice based on the comfort level of the new language.
Click to expand...

Perhaps you misunderstood my meaning. I agree there is nothing straightforward about any of this. I was simply referring to the parent NOT wanting to learn sign as a criteria in choosing a CI for their child. Obviously that is not an issue in your particular situation. If signing decreases post CI, then so be it. In fact, depending on the success of the CI I am sure with regard to signing you would have to play that by ear (so to speak) Your child is having success with the CI but please understand that is not the case for everyone so what has worked for you may not work for all. I am not saying that you suggested that but meerly making a point. I thank you for sharing your experience.
 
SarahsDad said:
I agree completely. We're making sure that we land in the 20% of parents that learn ASL. I'm wondering about the rest of the familiy. How does the child interact with them if they don't learn ASL and what is that experiance like. I haven't seen any statistics at all about ther percentage of other family members learning ASL, but if it's only 20% for parents, who have all the motivation, then it must be a very low number. One of the best things I've heard was the parent becomming an ASL interpreter. That way you could really become fluent and do it quickly.-SarahsDad
Click to expand...

You know that is funny you ask. My daughter is hearing and she took some sign earlier on but between her and my son, they have their own way of communicating. They are 3 years apart (she is older). It's almost like they have some secret language they use. It's kind of interesteing and I am anxious to see how that whole thing pans out as he develops his communication skills.
 
rockdrummer said:
You know that is funny you ask. My daughter is hearing and she took some sign earlier on but between her and my son, they have their own way of communicating. They are 3 years apart (she is older). It's almost like they have some secret language they use. It's kind of interesteing and I am anxious to see how that whole thing pans out as he develops his communication skills.
Click to expand...

That is called homemade signs....
 
SarahsDad said:
I agree completely. We're making sure that we land in the 20% of parents that learn ASL. I'm wondering about the rest of the familiy. How does the child interact with them if they don't learn ASL and what is that experiance like. I haven't seen any statistics at all about ther percentage of other family members learning ASL, but if it's only 20% for parents, who have all the motivation, then it must be a very low number.
-SarahsDad
Click to expand...

Well, I am not surprised about the fact.

80% parents are sluggish people who do not want to be motivating in gaining knowledge of the non-spoken language for the sakes of deaf children...
 
SarahsDad said:
I'm wondering about the rest of the familiy. How does the child interact with them if they don't learn ASL and what is that experiance like.
Click to expand...



My dad learned sign language at the begin, took sign language classes for us, then he decide to stop using it because we can speak, When I tell him, to sign because there are times I couldn't understand his lip reading, he has a long mustache, hard to pick up what he is trying to say, But, he prefer me to read his lips (Lip-mouth movements), But, when I hanging around and socializing with Deaf friends, some of their hearing parents are very experience ASL, I sometimes get jealous, I wish my dad was like them at times. My signs aren't fast like most Deaf people, because I grew up with hearing families, one deaf sister, which is my twin, and in the hearing world more than the Deaf culture. Sad isn't it? ;)
 
rockdrummer said:
Perhaps you misunderstood my meaning. I agree there is nothing straightforward about any of this. I was simply referring to the parent NOT wanting to learn sign as a criteria in choosing a CI for their child. Obviously that is not an issue in your particular situation. If signing decreases post CI, then so be it. In fact, depending on the success of the CI I am sure with regard to signing you would have to play that by ear (so to speak) Your child is having success with the CI but please understand that is not the case for everyone so what has worked for you may not work for all. I am not saying that you suggested that but meerly making a point. I thank you for sharing your experience.
Click to expand...
And that you very much for your reply. And I agree with you that not all cases are succesful like I have said before. I merely shared my experience.

I realise your post was regarding making a choice for CI. I agree 100% that not wanting to sign to the child should NEVER be a criteria.

To reply on a question in your post:
Sure it's difficult but how could you not want to communicate with your child.
Click to expand...
Every parent wants to communicate and signing with your deaf child should start as soon as possible. Having said this, there are now babies being inplanted soo early that they have not had any contact with either sign or speech. Parents of these children will focus on speech and will not see the need for sign since neither the child nor the parent knows it.
 
Cloggy said:
Parents of these children will focus on speech and will not see the need for sign since neither the child nor the parent knows it.
Click to expand...


I disagree with you there Cloggy, because the child will know once he nor she grow up, when they socializing with Deaf people, That's means this child would never know it's Deaf Culture. Sign language is widely used by the Deaf. How would that child feels? I'm sure devastating, because one, doesn't know anything about the Deaf Culture or sign language because Parents wouldn't taught the child either, only speech. Learning speech or focus on speech is not meant to replace American Sign Language, Why can't parents teach both?
 
Cheri said:
I disagree with you there Cloggy, because the child will know once he nor she grow up, when they socializing with Deaf people, That's means this child would never know it's Deaf Culture. Sign language is widely used by the Deaf. How would that child feels? I'm sure devastating, because one, doesn't know anything about the Deaf Culture or sign language because Parents wouldn't taught the child either, only speech. Learning speech or focus on speech is not meant to replace American Sign Language, Why can't parents teach both?
Click to expand...

Cheri,

Cheri,

Cloggy wrote accurately since he might have researched or witnessed. Moreover, he did not state his opinion...
 
Mookie said:
Cheri,

Cheri,

Cloggy wrote accurately since he might have researched or witnessed. Moreover, he did not state his opinion...
Click to expand...


I know that Mookie, Do you see stupid written on my forehead? :whistle: I replied to his post because it came from his post, I was speaking generally, not speaking about him nor his daughter. ;)
 
Cloggy said:
And that you very much for your reply. And I agree with you that not all cases are succesful like I have said before. I merely shared my experience.

I realise your post was regarding making a choice for CI. I agree 100% that not wanting to sign to the child should NEVER be a criteria.

To reply on a question in your post: Every parent wants to communicate and signing with your deaf child should start as soon as possible. Having said this, there are now babies being inplanted soo early that they have not had any contact with either sign or speech. Parents of these children will focus on speech and will not see the need for sign since neither the child nor the parent knows it.
Click to expand...

Understood and thanks for clearifying. I guess my question was rhetorical. Belive it or not, there are parents of deaf kids that don't have CI (for whatever reason) that still refuse to learn to sign and communicate with their children. That really sickens me.
 
Hi Cheri,
Thank you for sharing your personal experiance. It must have been cool to have a twin sister to grow up with. Very unique, I bet there is a doctor out there right now trying to think up some kind of twin language study to do. Don't let them near you! LOL.

We're taking ASL classes at home once a week and making progress. Last Friday night I saw a deaf play at Cal State Northridge University. What a great experiance that was. I had never been in such a large group of Deaf people before. Hands were flying and was awesome to see. I'm embarrassed to say that I didn't understand much. It was very clear that ASL is a rich and beautiful language. I had kind of a sinking feeling seeing so much fluent and FAST natural sign. We are still building our vocabulary, and sign methodically with little knowledge still about proper ASL grammar. :(

We've had both oral and no oral teachers. We've learned so much more ASL with the non oral teachers since we can't fall back on speech. We have to finger spell when we get stuck. I wish for a place to move to where the whole community uses just ASL and be totally immersed. Wouldn't that be great to go out to the mall and just see EVERYONE SIGNING? OK, back to reality.

Thanks,
-SarahsDad
 
rockdrummer said:
Understood and thanks for clearifying. I guess my question was rhetorical. Belive it or not, there are parents of deaf kids that don't have CI (for whatever reason) that still refuse to learn to sign and communicate with their children. That really sickens me.
Click to expand...

I agree - again as I've said- parents should give their children ALL the tools available to them and let them find out which works best. My parents started learning sign (mostly fingerspelling and a few simple words) as soon as they found out I had lost my hearing when I was 9. I also quickly started learning to lipread, and we found a "middle ground" with some SEE, some "home-made" sign (as there were no other deaf around us to teach us firsthand so we simply learned from books - mostly The Joy of Signing - but it was harder without somebody with experience to show us if we were doing the signs right). Pen and paper were always handy for the times I simply couldn't understand what was being said. My family was very accomodating, and always tried to make sure I was included in events and family discussions.

Even with the CI's, I hope more people follow Cloggy's lead, and give their implanted children the opportunity to learn sign, to interact with the deaf community (hopefully though, people who are more understanding and tolerant than those he encountered at the recent deaf convention), as well as learning to speak and hear with their CI's. You wouldn't give an artist just a paint brush and ONE color of paint and expect a masterpiece. Similarly deaf children (implanted with CI's or not) should be equipped with all the tools they might need to succeed in the future. :)
 
SarahsDad said:
Here is a link to some collected posts in the About.com forum as to why some parents don't learn ASL for their deaf child.

Sign Language - Parents Not Learning Sign Language - Why?

-SarahsDad
Click to expand...
Thanks Sarah'sDad. That is an interesting article and to me it illustrates the many differences in people. I have said this several times before. There are idiots in all walks of life and I guess parenting a deaf child is no exception. Yet another cross sectional view of humanity (and not a pretty one). To feel guilty because you produced a deaf child is utter nonsense to someone that is a reasonable thinker. Life is nothing but a bunch of random events. God is not punishing you by giving you a deaf child. You are not a bad person because you gave birth to a deaf child. You should not feel guilty because you have a deaf child. I sure hope to God that there are not that many people out there that actually believe those things. And if there are, I truly feel sorry for their children.
 
neecy said:
Even with the CI's, I hope more people follow Cloggy's lead, and give their implanted children the opportunity to learn sign, to interact with the deaf community (hopefully though, people who are more understanding and tolerant than those he encountered at the recent deaf convention), as well as learning to speak and hear with their CI's. You wouldn't give an artist just a paint brush and ONE color of paint and expect a masterpiece. Similarly deaf children (implanted with CI's or not) should be equipped with all the tools they might need to succeed in the future. :)
Click to expand...



I agree.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top