Why adults choose CI's for their children

[Cheri]

Cheri has a good point.

Issacsmom, you need to give your child enough time for him to get used to his hearing aids. Most children at your son's age don't have patience with learning the sounds so give him plenty of time and a chance with his hearing aids. I remember I used to pull my hearing aids out when I was at your son's age but I got used to it after a while

Yep that's correct! So did I, at first I found it strange, what are these? that goes in my ears, I used to pull it out because I freaked out by the sounds that I was picking up, You nailed it perfectly, by saying that give him plenty of time to understand what those hearing aids are for in his ears.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Issacsmom, first of all... Welcome to AD

I would like to say that Cheri and Butterflygirl have good points...

 

[highlands]

I've been wearing hearing aid since 1989 (at 14 ).. At first, sounds was rather mechanical and strange.. it took me some time to adjust my old analog aid at that time.. and I see that it may take a kid more time .. it requires patience..

 

[Cheri]

I can see now with my own eyes how many hearing parent jumping into getting CI too quick for their deaf children. *shaking my head in disappointing*

Here's proof right here, to back up my claim:

Parents

Parents face challenges when their child is born deaf or becomes deaf. At least ninety percent of deaf and hard of hearing children are born to hearing parents who usually want their children to be like themselves, to understand sound, to use their voices and verbally express their thoughts through spoken language, and to hear the voices and spoken language of those around them.

http://www.nad.org/site/pp.asp?c=foINKQMBF&b=138140

How sad, It always about them (the parents)

You see, rockdrummer? You always say it not the case, why did I found a web site said exactly what I said? Facts are out there, Hun.

 

[rockdrummer]

You see, rockdrummer? You always say it not the case, why did I found a web site said exactly what I said? Facts are out there, Hun.

Awww sweetheart, I have ALWAYS said FOR ME it could not be further from the truth. I am sure that there are parents out there that make decisions for all kinds of reasons. I just get upset when people generalize by the way they choose their words. Let me give you an example of what I mean. Take the following statemnet.

"The parents of deaf children choose CIs' because they can't accept their children for what or who they are"

That comment lumps the entire population of hearing parents with deaf kids into one catagory and states that they choose CI's because they cant accept their chidren. I am sorry but that kind of generalizing or stereotyping bugs the crap out of me because as I have stated, acceptance had nothing to do with my decision. A better way to word it would be;

"There are some parents of deaf children that choose CI's.......... bla blah blah."

Do you understand what I am saying. I don't doubt the facts you have stated and if you go back to read my posts where I get upset about it you will see that it's about being generalized. I am not disputing the fact that this happens. I am just saying that it's not applicable to EVERY hearing parent that has chosen a CI for thier child.

 

[loml]

Throwing in a Curve Ball

The reality for me is this:

Deaf Education historically and to this day does not produce literate people. Why would a parent want to enrole their child into this?

Poor role modeling of ASL does not enable a child to learn ASL.

Of course Ci's are hard work if you want to be successful, BUT the child is learning the language of their family.

To not want them to learn the family language is denying inclusion with the family and the world (in general) around them.


jmo

 

[Cheri]

Awww sweetheart, I have ALWAYS said FOR ME it could not be further from the truth. I am sure that there are parents out there that make decisions for all kinds of reasons. I just get upset when people generalize by the way they choose their words. Let me give you an example of what I mean. Take the following statemnet.

"The parents of deaf children choose CIs' because they can't accept their children for what or who they are"

That comment lumps the entire population of hearing parents with deaf kids into one catagory and states that they choose CI's because they cant accept their chidren. I am sorry but that kind of generalizing or stereotyping bugs the crap out of me because as I have stated, acceptance had nothing to do with my decision. A better way to word it would be;

"There are some parents of deaf children that choose CI's.......... bla blah blah."

Do you understand what I am saying. I don't doubt the facts you have stated and if you go back to read my posts where I get upset about it you will see that it's about being generalized. I am not disputing the fact that this happens. I am just saying that it's not applicable to EVERY hearing parent that has chosen a CI for thier child.

You got a good point, I apology if I bug the crap out of you based on how I wording out on my posts, But, 90 percent is a whole lot isn't it Hun?

 

[rockdrummer]

You got a good point, I apology if I bug the crap out of you based on how I wording out on my posts, But, 90 percent is a whole lot isn't it Hun?

Noooo Cheri... not you I think that you choose your words wisely. It's others out there that generalize way to much. You are fine with me.....

 

[Cheri]

Noooo Cheri... not you I think that you choose your words wisely. It's others out there that generalize way to much. You are fine with me.....

*Whew* I sweat for nothing. Thanks!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Rockdrummer and Cheri...

 

[SarahsDad]

Thanks everyone for the warm welcome and responding to our post. I still can't get over how great a resource this forum is.

rockdrummer, we appreciate you starting this thread and also your effort to keep it on topic. Internet search engines like Google will let people from around the world discover these posts for years to come. I want to contribute to coherent threads that others feel are worth reading.

I'm sorry that CI did not work out for your child. My I ask, did you have the implant removed, and if so, were there any complications? Thanks for your reply, and we have learned a lot from your other posts as well.

R2D2, Thanks for your support and kind words. Your first hand knowledge as a CI user is very helpful. When I posted that my daughter doesn't need to be "fixed", I meant to convey that she is fully accepted by us exactly how she is, not that CI will change her into a hearing person.

Liebling)), Thanks for your careful and pointed responses. It helps so much to hear others experience and opinions.

Liebling)) said,
Yes but I would not implant my baby yet until my baby is old enough to have her/his choice either she/he wants CI or not. I would wear HA on my baby first until she/he familiar with it and then CI later only if she/he wants.

I don't believe there is any way around making a choice for Sarah. If we choose CI now, well, obviously the choice is made. If we don't choose CI now, and suppose she chooses CI later, then we've made a choice that takes from her of the best opportunity for success, since the first years of life are critical to language acquisition.

How old is old enough for a child to make an intelligent decision. I can say from first hand experience how immature I was as a teenager. If my parents had said "let the boy make his own decision about going to school, you know, we don't want to force him, and besides school is so much hard work and training. He can always choose to go to school when he's older." WOW!, I think I would have ended up in kindergarten at the tender age of 18.

Cheri said,
Whatever choice you make for your daughter, I do hope that you allow your daughter to continue to be active members of the deaf community and learn sign language too. Not just being active in the hearing world only...

Thanks Cheri, We do plan to continue to embrace the Deaf community and culture, as well as continue learning and teaching Sarah ASL. We have met truly wonderful people in the Deaf community. We've been receiving an ASL class once a week at home through early intervention support. One of our teachers is performing in the Deaf play "Stone Deaf" at Cal State Northridge tomorrow night (Friday April 21, 2006), and we have two tickets! See stonedeafplay.com.

Mookie said,
Well, I can not sing to my hearing daughter who became 2-year old last month....
Fair enough? Thanks for sharing our different world...

Mookie, I'm sorry. Yes, fair enough.

-SarahsDad

 

[Audiofuzzy]

7. Dependence on a technological device.

Whether HA or CI, it doesn't matter. Once you get used to it you need it always.


8. Assuming a CI "success", what if the device fails years after becoming dependant on it?
9. Sarah could end up Not Hearing, and at the same time Not Deaf.pendence on a technological device

That may very well happen and this is why you should include ASL and deaf culture. learning to sign and be "deaf" is the same as growing hearing and learning how to hear. The earlier the better.

I am sure it is difficult to do both at once but is doable.

Fuzzy

 

[Audiofuzzy]

And people let's not exaggerate with this "I can't sing..., music is beautiful.., " etc.


Sure sure as a person who could hear music quite well at one point in my life (long point) and enjoyed it, and who'se mom sang to, I apprecciate these qualities but I don't find it so important that I couldn't live without it.

There are other ways to comfort and bring closeness to a child- holding it, rocking, kissing, drawing, signing, showing etc.
Lack of music- you don't miss what you don't know.

So, let's not make out of it something major because it isn't. Besides, most deaf pple can hear music to a degree. That's quite enough.

Fuzzy.

ps there is plenty hearing people out there who doesn't give a fiddle about music anyway. I know such pple myself.

 

[Angel]

Hi SarahsDad,

Welcome to Alldeaf, and it's nice to have you here, you're right with what you said on your very first post, and I'm impressed that you allow your daugther to know the deaf culture and sign language as well, and being able to be around with children like herself etc


Whether hearing aids may not be quite benefit for your child, it does take alot of time until a child get used to the sounds etc, it's hard to tell once they're wearing hearing aids for the very first time cause a child has not yet hear a sound without them, and once wearing them it might be diffcult at first to realized them etc...


When I was younger, I had my first hearing aids , and I was soo confused on what I was actually hearing, it hard to know whether I hear more out of them cause it was soo soon to noticed , until I started wearing them for a couple of months then I realized I could actually hear with the use of them....If you have given your child time and help develop the use of the sounds that your child may be hearing, then if you feel in your heart that your child is no longer has the benefit of the use of them, then you can always move to the next step by getting your child implant with CI, but it's never an easy decision because we know that it's involved surgery, and it kind of scary to put a child thru that at first just like any other surgeries...


But you're correct implanting children with CI earlier will more likely be successful since it helps develop their speech and language skills and get used to the sounds that coming from their brains etc..If I had a deaf child I would rather to try the hearing aids first before I make a big decision on getting my child implant with CI, not that I don't think it will help it just that I wanted to be sure I'm doing the right thing for my own child not for myself just to have my deaf child to hear my own voices etc....There are so many reason why I wanted to put CI on hold, just to give my deaf child a chance to see how well my child would hear with the use of hearing aids....


I know you will do what is best for your own deaf child, and make the decision wisely without jumping in too quickly without giving it enough time...


I wish you and your wife the best, and I think you both will do great with your deaf children and it's very nice to see parents like you out there who thinks more of the child needs then their own....

 

[R2D2]

You stated that you just got the hearing aids recently Monday and it doesn't help at all? What do you expect a miracle? Just remember CI nor hearing aids are not a cure to hear, That isn't enough time length to see how far your son would go with hearing aids, I can see now with my own eyes how many hearing parent jumping into getting CI too quick for their deaf children. *shaking my head in disappointing*

I agree with you Cheri that more time needs to be given when evaluating hearing aids. However parents don't simply wander up to a store and purchase a CI in a state of panic. The child goes through many tests to see whether they would benefit from hearing aids or not. No professional worth his or her salt would allow a quick implantation of a child who would otherwise benefit from hearing aids. And insurance companies would not allow it because it would be a potential waste of their much loved profits.

Also note to Isaacsmum - when my parents first put hearing aids on me I kept pulling them out too. I was 3. She finally got her way when she bribed me with a box of candy and apparently after that I would not let her take them off. I did very well with hearing aids once I got used to them.

 

[R2D2]

I don't believe there is any way around making a choice for Sarah. If we choose CI now, well, obviously the choice is made. If we don't choose CI now, and suppose she chooses CI later, then we've made a choice that takes from her of the best opportunity for success, since the first years of life are critical to language acquisition.

Yes I have personal experience of this. I was given a hearing aid for my worst ear only at the age of 3 and was not given a hearing aid for my better ear until the age of 10 (don't ask!). As a consequence I depended much more on my worst ear because it had 7 extra years of auditory imput and my better ear was only good for environmental sounds.

I think that if you wait until the child is old enough to decide on their own (whenever that is - people will disagree) then there is a greater chance that the CI will not work and that it will be switched off or removed in frustration.

I don't think I will ever implant my better ear because I don't feel that it is developed enough to benefit from a CI.

How old is old enough for a child to make an intelligent decision. I can say from first hand experience how immature I was as a teenager. If my parents had said "let the boy make his own decision about going to school, you know, we don't want to force him, and besides school is so much hard work and training. He can always choose to go to school when he's older." WOW!, I think I would have ended up in kindergarten at the tender age of 18.
-SarahsDad

Completely agree. I'm glad mum persisted with doing some things with me. When I first was given hearing aids I used to pull them out. Some parents may have said "Oh I won't force her" and put them back in the box but she didn't and I'm glad she didn't. It is not until you are in at least your 20s when you really appreciate consequences and the concept of no pain, no gain.

 

[rockdrummer]

rockdrummer, we appreciate you starting this thread and also your effort to keep it on topic. Internet search engines like Google will let people from around the world discover these posts for years to come. I want to contribute to coherent threads that others feel are worth reading.

Thank you sir for your kind words. It's really the combination of people that contribute constructively that are to be thanked. Without the insight that each individual has, we would not be able to see the big picture. I am thankful for the creators of this and other forum's that deal with deaf issues. I have (as I am sure you will) learned much here and still learn more each day. And the awesome thing about this medium is that we (deaf and hearing) are able to communicate with each other at a high level.

I'm sorry that CI did not work out for your child. My I ask, did you have the implant removed, and if so, were there any complications? Thanks for your reply, and we have learned a lot from your other posts as well.

Thank you. We were pretty disappointed as well. My son had two implants. The second had more electrodes with the promise of better results. When it became evident that there were no improvements, I thought to myself, now he has this useless thing stuck in his head. Should it be removed? I discussed it with a surgeon who recommended that the risk of surgery and complications would not be worth it. I tend to agree with that. I guess in the back of my mind I am hopeful that maybe one day we connect it and like magic it will start working for him. I am certainly not banking on that outcome and peruse other means of communication.

 

[Mookie]

And people let's not exaggerate with this "I can't sing..., music is beautiful.., " etc.


Sure sure as a person who could hear music quite well at one point in my life (long point) and enjoyed it, and who'se mom sang to, I apprecciate these qualities but I don't find it so important that I couldn't live without it.

There are other ways to comfort and bring closeness to a child- holding it, rocking, kissing, drawing, signing, showing etc.
Lack of music- you don't miss what you don't know.

So, let's not make out of it something major because it isn't. Besides, most deaf pple can hear music to a degree. That's quite enough.

Fuzzy.

ps there is plenty hearing people out there who doesn't give a fiddle about music anyway. I know such pple myself.

[Mod's Edit - unnecessary comment/personal attack]

Some Deafies including me do not hear any music word. Therefore, we do not fluent to sing any song.

Hallo Hearies,

Do not pay attention to her. Sometime it's hard for Deafies to trust her philosophy. Beware yourself that you may be too easily to accept her. You may be stuck on CI world.

 

[neecy]

"stuck" in CI world? Would you mind explaining what you mean by that?

I LOVE being able to appreciate music fully again - its one of my greatest joys now. Is that bad?

 

[Mookie]

[Mod's Eit - Previous quote removed]

Yep, Audists are telling everyone that there is nothing wrong with CI.

Don't you agree?