Why adults choose CI's for their children

[Audiofuzzy]

Trust me, when you can't hear well and you are in the group of hearies that are speaking fast amongst them you understand nothing and you feel left out. then you realise no matter how smart you are how well you lipread etc there are barriers you can't cross. They love you, they take your H/loss under consideration, but..
After a while it's humiliating to ask over and over "what's up". At least I feel like an idiot having to be explained every single thing separately.

Go on camping - as soon as the sun goes down everybody is having fun by the campfire but you. why? because they are speaking and you can't ... see.

If you are hearing in the deaf world unless you know sign language it's probably similar situation. Unless of course you know sign language well.
I think in this aspect it's easier for a "hearie" to fit into deaf world.

I didn't participate in deaf world at all. My parents discouraged me, and even my brother who was "fully deaf" and signing didn't wanted to include me. I wen to regular schools, had only hearing friends.
I had odd encounters with deaf people here and there, learned a few signs, can barely finger spell.. it takes me ages to get one letter in deaf alphabet.

And yet I know I should have been allowed to participate both ways.
(I also have bad migraine condition and I am just too sick and tired to start now with ASL and all.)
You peeps are my only contact with the deaf culture..for which I am very thankful



Fuzzy

PS. but of course that is NOT to say by being deaf we are lesser or something. heavens no. as you've said we are created equal but let's face it- as Chinese can't understand Polish so deaf and hearing have their difficulties in communication, It's about the problems with communication, mostly, for us.

Beside that is the separate subject how confident we are as individuals.
I know I am shy yet confident, No hearie is gonna tell me "you can't".
let him try! -grrrrrr

Fuzzy

pps.- one of course needs to be reasonably confident - for example I am not going to try out for an orchestra conductor.

 

[Cheri]

Trust me, when you can't hear well and you are in the group of hearies that are speaking fast amongst them you understand nothing and you feel left out. then you realise no matter how smart you are how well you lipread etc there are barriers you can't cross. They love you, they take your H/loss under consideration, but..
After a while it's humiliating to ask over and over "what's up". At least I feel like an idiot having to be explained every single thing separately.

Well, That isn't true, I hang out with more hearing people in real life than I do with deaf people. I have no problem communicate with hearing people, because all my hearing friends know how to speak very clearly and they are also very interesting in learning sign language. Believe it or not, I dated more hearing guys than deaf guys, Only 3 deaf guys I've dated all my life. So, You cannot speak for every deaf person out in the world.

 

[Kalista]

when you can't hear well and you are in the group of hearies that are speaking fast amongst them you understand nothing and you feel left out. then you realise no matter how smart you are how well you lipread etc there are barriers you can't cross. They love you, they take your H/loss under consideration, but.. After a while it's humiliating to ask over and over "what's up". At least I feel like an idiot having to be explained every single thing separately.

There is nothing else we can do. Cochlear Implant would never make my hearing improve or comprehend the words when the hearing people are talking. I born profoundly Deaf. I prefer to have an interpreter with me during workshop, party or audience representation. If there is no interpreter, I always decline with my colleagues and supervisor. They respect my wishes.

I never desire to wear any hearing aids or cochlear implants. Hearing aids always make my headache when I heard their giggle, phone rings, etc... I find, it is very annoyed to my hearing.

I am very happy to be Deaf rest of my life. The communication barrier always make me frustration. I had to tell them, I am sorry I am Deaf. I can't hear you.

ASL sign language is priority language in my life ! I do not feel very comfortable to socialize with hearing people who do not know ASL. It makes my eyes sore and tired when I read their lips for more than 30 mins. I always avoid to socialiable with hearing people due to boredom !!!

 

[sr171soars]

Well, That isn't true, I hang out with more hearing people in real life than I do with deaf people. I have no problem communicate with hearing people, because all my hearing friends know how to speak very clearly and they are also very interesting in learning sign language. Believe it or not, I dated more hearing guys than deaf guys, Only 3 deaf guys I've dated all my life. So, You cannot speak for every deaf person out in the world.

Er...Fuzzy is correct. When the hearing banter amongst themselves, there is a lot that goes on that requires normal hearing to really keep up with most of it. The wittisms, the irony, the jokes, the quips are fast and furious and it is impossible for the deaf (of any stripe) to keep up with that. I don't care who you are if deaf, you aren't catching all that. The larger the group the harder it is.

Now, I agree with you if it is a situation that is more sedate, then the deaf can keep up but you still miss things sometimes. What makes that tolerable is even the hearing do miss things as well (not paying attention, focus is elsewhere, in a "zone", whatever).

You can't use one on one or really small group communication as the basis of your experiences. Try a social setting with conversations going all over the place or a meeting at work. The hearing will often be following another conversation elsewhere and chime in at times and that is the typical thing that the deaf miss! Been there and done that. Even with my CI (which has been a fantastic journey for me), I find that I will miss things here and there but compared to my former HAs, I don't miss much.

 

[Cheri]

Whatever sr171soars, You don't know my friends and plus you don't know me, My friends don't do that to me they involved me with every conversation, they make sure that they're looking at me, when they do talk. I'm not speaking of every hearing person, I'm speaking of my friends. Get my drift?

 

[sr171soars]

Whatever sr171soars, You don't know my friends and plus you don't know me, My friends don't do that to me they involved me with every conversation, they make sure that they're looking at me, when they do talk. I'm not speaking of every hearing person, I'm speaking of my friends. Get my drift?

Er...sorry about that but I wasn't referring to only with friends. I was referring to people in general. I think that is what Fuzzy was saying. I agree when you are with friends that they should be making an effort to include you. My friends are aware of that as well. The difference is that I never required required them to make sure I got everything as I preferred the give and take of normal conversational flow. If I needed clarification, I asked and that took care of it. I interact with hearing people of all kinds all the day long and lots of them aren't aware of my situation. This is what I was getting at about the bit with the banter and other stuff.

 

[highlands]

Trust me, when you can't hear well and you are in the group of hearies that are speaking fast amongst them you understand nothing and you feel left out. then you realise no matter how smart you are how well you lipread etc there are barriers you can't cross. They love you, they take your H/loss under consideration, but..
After a while it's humiliating to ask over and over "what's up". At least I feel like an idiot having to be explained every single thing separately.

Go on camping - as soon as the sun goes down everybody is having fun by the campfire but you. why? because they are speaking and you can't ... see.

....................

Same here I feel the same way.. I have a mixture of severe and profound losses..
I always feel frustrated with being with hearing persons after a few minutes of talking... What is the most frequent word I use ...

Being among hearies is like carrying a load of 100 pounds on my back..

like you stated in your post I cannot read lips at dark.. so I totally feel completely isolated while my hearing friends enjoy talking at dark or night

I seem like a hearing person but I'm not, in reality...

I cannot participate in deaf world either b/c there is no any deaf around me..

so I often feel ---> What a crock !!!

 

[ismi]

No matter how wonderful one's friends are, fuzzy and sr are correct, there are things we will inevitably miss. I mean, look at the reaction some HOH have when finally exposed to captioned TV or CART: "I was missing all that? I had no idea I was missing anything?"

 

[Cheri]

Er...sorry about that but I wasn't referring to only with friends. I was referring to people in general. I think that is what Fuzzy was saying.

Fuzzy said "group" Group could be a "group of friends" or a "group of hearing people in general", How would you know what Fuzzy is speaking of? I respond to her perfectly clear about my "group of friends".

 

[WhoKnows]

I have been a member here for a month or so now and have learned very much from this and other sites relating to deaf issues. One thing that I have learned is that some in the deaf community feel that if a parent chooses to have a CI for their child, it's because they don't accept their child for who they are. While I can't speak for everyone, I know that for me there is nothing further from the truth. So I would ask the parents of deaf children to please respond with the reason you chose a CI for your child.

Thank you

If it is a deaf adults, it would be a big difference. Obviously, it is communication issue.

 

[LisaMarie]

Hey.. I would like to say something. Please do not aruge which one is right. Nobody is right or wrong. Please try to get along with everybody and respect each other's opinion. Meanwhile, just bear with it. If somebody felt they are okay in that hearing world. Then they are. If they felt its not okay to be in deaf world. then they are. Just trying to respect and learn each other. Remember we all will always learn new things but it doesnt mean we are wrong or lack of knowledge. There are many many new things kept on coming up and we still have to learn to adapt this no mater what.... Right?
IF so, Just have some and enjoy life!

 

[Cloggy]

Hey.. I would like to say something. Please do not aruge which one is right. Nobody is right or wrong. Please try to get along with everybody and respect each other's opinion. Meanwhile, just bear with it. If somebody felt they are okay in that hearing world. Then they are. If they felt its not okay to be in deaf world. then they are. Just trying to respect and learn each other. Remember we all will always learn new things but it doesnt mean we are wrong or lack of knowledge. There are many many new things kept on coming up and we still have to learn to adapt this no mater what.... Right?
IF so, Just have some and enjoy life!

 

[Audiofuzzy]

Fuzzy said "group" Group could be a "group of friends" or a "group of hearing people in general", How would you know what Fuzzy is speaking of?

I am speaking of both Cheri.
I have wonderful friends who grew up with me,
They instintively know how to behave in my presence. But it is simply not possible for them to be on alert out for me all the time. They need to communicate among themselves too. I have no right to demand that every each one at all times wait for when someone finishes speaking to me so that person can speak in turn. Speaking to me is an effort, and it takes time.
Why should they feel constricted around me? That would tire them.
They are a big help in my life but they only can do so much.
As for just a group of people it's miss or hit. Sometimes I came upon a person with clear speach and intelligent enough to understand my accent. Sometimes I came upon a person who is really dense, hardly move her/his lips and when I speak all I see is dumb empty eyes.
I am aware that it's not me but that person fault we can't communicate better but what does it help...

BTW here is an example where I think this is why it's vital for any deaf and hoh person to know sign langauge.
Imagine you have to go to this dr specialist after waiting 4 months for and appmnt and you can't have ASL relay service because you don't know ASL. You went home not knowing what the dr said.
What good is the use of CI then if one still can't have full hearing "capacity"? You gotta know signa language for your own good.
It needs to be started early.

Fuzzy

ps so I am not saying we are lesser and won't or can't succeed but we do have our share of difficulties to overcome,
and that is why it's good to use both worlds and know ASL, too. Especially when one thinks of implanting young children.

Or this situation- I was intvited to a party and someone brought a funny audio recording. They all had to hear it first (with attention) to know what it is about. They listened, they laughed,
I was just sitting there thinking "how shitty for me". They "translated" later but it's not the same- I want to participate right on time!

Apart form the fact that we require CC, I am sure if I knew ASL I would understand in the group of other ASL users everything, everybody right away.

 

[Audiofuzzy]

If you ask me I don't think we are off topic- not entirely at least.
We simply want to explain deeper our arguments.
My is that I, being immersed in hearing world only, I do apprecciate the gift of hearing, but also because I don't sign I do wish I could also do that.
So that's why I am for implanting children as young as recommended, and ASL an deaf culture, both. Always both.

(For some people the idea of tiny helpless baby may seem cruel and unbearable but I would like to tell you babies can heal amazingly fast. Better than adults.
And they get the best results.)

I agree wholeheartedly when you say "we have right to be who we want to be". True, very true. If you are deaf person and you feel you manage very well in hearing world you probably do. It may be easier for me for a while,
but just like I said- I come upon the obstacle I can't overcome (like in the dr's example), and the deaf with ASL will do better than me in such situation.
Most likely.

Fuzzy

 

[rockdrummer]

{Mod's Edit - Previous quote removed]

It's funny that each thread I've visited regarding anything about CI's, always seems to go down the same path. I've heard many sides of the discussion and still draw the same conclusion. It's a controversial subject and there will never be a consensus. This is ok. There are many such things in life. My personal choice is to agree to disagree.

On a positive note, the discussion teaches me not only about the CI controversy, but also shows me the diversity between folks that have various levels of hearing loss and how they view life. Something I had not previously known. So for the knowledge, I thank you all. I have asked for this thread to be closed.

 

[highlands]

[Mod's edit - comment removed] It's funny that each thread I've visited regarding anything about CI's, always seems to go down the same path. I've heard many sides of the discussion and still draw the same conclusion. It's a controversial subject and there will never be a consensus. This is ok. There are many such things in life. My personal choice is to agree to disagree.

On a positive note, the discussion teaches me not only about the CI controversy, but also shows me the diversity between folks that have various levels of hearing loss and how they view life. Something I had not previously known. So for the knowledge, I thank you all. I have asked for this thread to be closed.

I thank you ,too .. for being wishful to understand deaf/hoh world

 

[Cloggy]

Some confirmations regarding a decision come later. Even though the discision is made, along the path precious moments pop up showing us the decision was 100% right.

Today, we had the funeral of my father-inlaw. He has been involved in music since he was young. The "band" he played in for 50+ years played in the church. A friend of us, a harpist, played at the cremation. A day full of music.... recognising a wonderful person...

And my daughter was able to hear it all.

 

[Cousin Vinny]

Some confirmations regarding a decision come later. Even though the discision is made, along the path precious moments pop up showing us the decision was 100% right.

I certainly understand that music appreciation is a major component of a young child's life as he/she grows, and will help shape the kind of person he/she will be in the future. And, please accept my condolences for your loss.

However, moments like these, wholly spontaneous and heartfelt, really do not help validate initial decisions made by parents in implanting their deaf infants. Your CI decision did help forge an important bond between you and your daughter through a shared, emotional experience involving music. Undoubtedly, I'm sure there will be more moments in the future, (and far joyous occasions) that will only but help strengthen your familial bonds between you, the mother and the implanted daughter.

However, it's all about language development when you made your CI decision, and daresay I suggest you may have to wait a while to see how your daughter's language development progresses in order to gauge whether your CI decision was the right one. Optimistically, I truly and sincerely wish the best, that your daughter will acquire age-appropriate language skills she will need, well into adulthood.

 

[Roadrunner]

Thank you Angel for your support. It's funny that each thread I've visited regarding anything about CI's, always seems to go down the same path. I've heard many sides of the discussion and still draw the same conclusion. It's a controversial subject and there will never be a consensus. This is ok. There are many such things in life. My personal choice is to agree to disagree.

On a positive note, the discussion teaches me not only about the CI controversy, but also shows me the diversity between folks that have various levels of hearing loss and how they view life. Something I had not previously known. So for the knowledge, I thank you all. I have asked for this thread to be closed.

Mod Note:

Per creator's wishes for thread to be closed-- This will remain open a little longer in hopes that this thread sticks to the topic/question for which it covers, otherwise it will get closed. As for other issues related to C.I., either create a 'new' thread or post elsewhere in the other C.I. threads.

There are quite a few off-topic posts here that could be crafted into a 'new' thread and suggesting for those who wishes to continue with such 'other' issues related to C.I. to do so rather than continuing the discussion/debate, etc., here in this thread.


Thank you!

~RR

 

[rockdrummer]

First, because HA's didn't help. After that because I want her to experience the hearing world. Her direct family can hear, her family can hear, our friends can hear, most of the outside world can hear. Sure, she would be a wonderful person growing up deaf in a hearing world. Now, she will be a wonderful person growing up hearing in a hearing world....

A day full of music.... recognising a wonderful person...And my daughter was able to hear it all..

Cloggy, My condolences to you as well. I hope that your daughter has good experiences in her surroundings but from your response, it sounds like you are expecting her to hear the way you and I naturally hear. Please correct me if I am wrong. From what I understand, assisted hearing with a CI is nothing like the natural hearing that you and I have. A person with a CI may not even be able to enjoy music. For some it may even be painful. It depends on so many variables.

it's all about language development when you made your CI decision,

I think that for most this is true. And I would suggest that if anyone is under the impression that a CI will mimic natural hearing, you get feedback from adults here that have CI's. My guess is that you will get a mixed bag of responses ranging from one side of the spectrum to the other.

I only wish that in our situation I had more time to make the decision. I wish that there were more information available. I hope that parents faced with this decision today, stop and get all of the facts before moving forward. There is far more information and experience out there now than there was just 10 years ago. And don't just go on what the doctors recommend. Look into all aspects. Get opinions from as many sources as you can and especially from those in the deaf community. While for the sake of development, time is of the essence, please remember, this is not a medical emergency.

This will remain open a little longer in hopes that this thread sticks to the topic/question for which it covers, otherwise it will get closed.

Thank you RR.