where do i fit in

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albnsc67

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I am 45 years old now, and still trying to fit in. Maybe I have been trying too hard to fit in with hearing people. I haven't been around deaf people that much. My mother had Asian flu while she was pregnant with me way back in '67. This is what caused my middle ear not to develop correctly. I remember going to doctors and audiologists. Had surgery around the age of 8 years old to correct the ossicles in my left ear. My left ear is severe loss, and my right ear is mild to moderate loss. I think it is 75db in left and 55db in right. I have called myself HOH all of my life.

I am the only person on both sides of family with hearing loss. My maternal grandmother was not very accepting of my hearing loss. always called me slow and not good enough. I grew up feeling left out, stuttering and overweight. and severly bullied by kids,a couple of teachers and my only sibling(my younger sister.) I have never been able to make friends. I get so very frustrated with my lack of hearing.

I guess I want to find out if I will fit in if I find more people like me? my therapist says I am deaf but I am not sure of calling myself that. but I have read that saying you are HOH is insulting to deaf persons. I am smart and passed my ged with average and above averge scores back in '86. yet I feel so stupid. it is so hard for me to learn new stuff and as such have been told things are too hard for me to learn in order to get better jobs or promotions. yet the two deaf customers to come into the store and be subjected to my little attemps at asl have seemed to be pleased that I am learning.

sorry to run on like this. I just want to discover where I fit in. do I just keep saying I am HOH. as I get older my hearing gets worse.
 
Call yourself deaf with deaf people and HOH with hearing people. Deaf will understand the hearing loss but hearing people will not if you say you are deaf.
Good that you are picking up signs. You socialize with other deaf besides your customers?
 
I haven't found any deaf people yet to socialize with yet, I am very shy about meeting and don't know where to look. yet I have deaf and blind school of south Carolina near me.
 
Google deaf events in your area, state. Also look for something called Self Help for Hard of Hearing. That is for people probably more like you, getby without signs.
 
Was your maternal grandmother from the old country? That is really horrible she called you slow , if anyone was slow it was her . You should call yourself whatever you want and not worry what other people say. I call my hoh and I will tell some people I just about deaf when not wearing my HA as I can't talk on the phone or to people in person if I am not wearing my HA.
 
Saying you are HOH to deaf people is probably the better way to go. If you say you are deaf, you are kind of implying you know ASL and are familiar with the culture.

It isn't insulting to anybody to say you are HOH. It's an accurate description.
 
Yeah, I know that we all want to fit in somehow. I do. However, I would think that the best thing is to be your own person. You would do better being your own person rather than worry about where you fit. Yes, I've a hearing loss just like you do. I hope you can be your own person and enjoy life.

What is up with all those LeBron and Jordan comparison? There is only one Michael Jordan. There is only one James LeBron. You will be fine.
 
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