When it rains, It pours !

Babyblue said:
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I chose my children over any man. I do not allow my children to disrespect me or him. If my man allowed his children to doso then I would not be in the relationship in the first place. You get into a relationship with someone that has children and dislike the kids. Then the relationship will not work. You have to be willing to work out the issues and not be spitefull or hold resentment. Since that will make you just as bad as the child, fighting for attention.
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HUH??? , if my child did not like a guy I was seeing I would stop seeing the guy and I would never tell my child to be nice to a guy she did not like! I wanted my child to trust her own judgment, if she did not like a guy I was seeing and she made that clear and I was fine with that. If you are telling you child to "be nice" to a guy you're seeing and your child does NOT like the guy you're disrespecting your child and putting the guy before your child.
You're telling your child they should 'be nice ' to all adults and that is putting your child at great risk !
 
Babyblue said:
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These are children. Yes, respect goes both ways among adults. So who is the responsible one that will teach respect??? There are ways to sit down and communicate and family couseling is available.
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Tried that, that was the biggest joke and waste of money... they act all goody 2 shoe, get pissed when you call them out and go right back to doing what they do best. lol
 
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sonocativo said:
Babyblue said:
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These are children. Yes, respect goes both ways among adults. So who is the responsible one that will teach respect??? There are ways to sit down and communicate and family couseling is available.
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Tried that, that was the biggest joke and waste of money... they act all goody 2 shoe, get pissed when you call them out and go right back to doing what they do best. lol
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They,they,they is all you say. What about you? How do you treat them? Do you treat them differently that your own biological son? Sit back and think how your behavior may be feeding the fire.
 
Babyblue said:
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They,they,they is all you say. What about you? How do you treat them? Do you treat them differently that your own biological son? Sit back and think how your behavior may be feeding the fire.
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How about YOU.... you seem to know everything, so tell me? Do you know about ADHD, ADD....? Do you know the effects and how it affects...? Hmmm, so tell me about me? My second wife had 3 boys all with ADHD/ADD and other mental issues, and we all got along great. They were pre teens to young adults and awesome kids, but had their fair share of issues once in awhile.
Not everyone was brought up the same, not everyone acts the same and if someone doesn't address those issues, they get out of hand, then once those are out of hand, its hard to change them as it becomes a way of life. Are you following? So, I am told they don't need a father figure as they have a dad... ok, so where is he? Why don't they go to visit him? why do they prefer to go to a friends house or stay home and play video games? Im friends with their dad and we get along great, they don't like it either. So tell me, about ME.... please do.
 
sonocativo said:
Read... they aren't my kids, I don't have to deal with them. And I refuse to put up with their bullshit. Mom can take them and be on her way and deal with them herself. I only need to care for my son.
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it doesn't work like that. you married to her... therefore they're yours regardless.

think about your son if you, god forbids it, died and then he has a stepfather. would you like a stepfather to think of your son like he's an annoying burden because he's not his own flesh and blood?

if those kids were well-behaved and all... are you going to think of them and treat them like your own children or you're still gonna act like what you're acting like now - "they ain't my kids. mom can take care of them and deal with them herself"?
 
sonocativo said:
How about YOU.... you seem to know everything, so tell me? Do you know about ADHD, ADD....? Do you know the effects and how it affects...? Hmmm, so tell me about me? My second wife had 3 boys all with ADHD/ADD and other mental issues, and we all got along great. They were pre teens to young adults and awesome kids, but had their fair share of issues once in awhile.
Not everyone was brought up the same, not everyone acts the same and if someone doesn't address those issues, they get out of hand, then once those are out of hand, its hard to change them as it becomes a way of life. Are you following?
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so... you're giving up?

sonocativo said:
So, I am told they don't need a father figure as they have a dad... ok, so where is he? Why don't they go to visit him? why do they prefer to go to a friends house or stay home and play video games? Im friends with their dad and we get along great, they don't like it either. So tell me, about ME.... please do.
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sounds like their dad is a loser and he gave up. are you same too?
 
As a single parent and adopting 3 boys...I had my hands full, believe me!...They cussed, were disrespectful, tore up/would not clean their rooms, would not go to bed on time...would not even wipe their arses when then went to the bathroom....Been thru all of it....And a lot of grey hairs to show for it.

Now...my oldest is 22...he calls/comes by often and never fails to tell me that I taught him so much and he loves me regardless of the hard time I had with him...so does my 19 year old and my 17 year old.

I would give anything to back up the years with them, because I remember the most of the good times and laughter we had together....nevermind the bad times.

Life and living is no bed of Roses as we all know....and raising children, no matter if they are biological or not....is a piece of work....Giving hugs and just saying..."I love you, son" can work wonders...and believe me, they will always remember that

Surely, your wife's children are a pain...but they do need you, regardless. Push aside the bad things they do or say...dwell on their good points. And when they grow up and leave home...they will remember you, hopefully in a good way...If not, then determine that you have done your best and did not give up...Giving up on a child will affect that child thru their adulthood.
 
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sonocativo said:
Babyblue said:
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They,they,they is all you say. What about you? How do you treat them? Do you treat them differently that your own biological son? Sit back and think how your behavior may be feeding the fire.
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How about YOU.... you seem to know everything, so tell me? Do you know about ADHD, ADD....? Do you know the effects and how it affects...? Hmmm, so tell me about me? My second wife had 3 boys all with ADHD/ADD and other mental issues, and we all got along great. They were pre teens to young adults and awesome kids, but had their fair share of issues once in awhile.
Not everyone was brought up the same, not everyone acts the same and if someone doesn't address those issues, they get out of hand, then once those are out of hand, its hard to change them as it becomes a way of life. Are you following? So, I am told they don't need a father figure as they have a dad... ok, so where is he? Why don't they go to visit him? why do they prefer to go to a friends house or stay home and play video games? Im friends with their dad and we get along great, they don't like it either. So tell me, about ME.... please do.
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Oh please. :roll:

I have 4 teens all have their own issues. It isn't easy but your behavior and attitude surely doesn't contribute to it in a possitive manner. I don't know your kids and you don't know mine. But I do know your attitude towards your step children that you claim not to be yours. It shows all over this thread.
 
Did you all miss it or do you not read...idiots !
I said Id do anything for them, and I have, but all you know is a tiny bit of the whole picture. But you know I haven't given up as Im still here, things have been a roller coaster and hopefully for the better. Think what you want, say what you want, not all situations are the same as yours, not all kids are the same or were brought up the same. So have fun with your assumptions !
 
sonocativo said:
Did you all miss it or do you not read...idiots !
I said Id do anything for them, and I have, but all you know is a tiny bit of the whole picture. But you know I haven't given up as Im still here, things have been a roller coaster and hopefully for the better. Think what you want, say what you want, not all situations are the same as yours, not all kids are the same or were brought up the same. So have fun with your assumptions !
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that's not what you said.

this is what you said -

sonocativo said:
Read... they aren't my kids, I don't have to deal with them. And I refuse to put up with their bullshit. Mom can take them and be on her way and deal with them herself. I only need to care for my son.
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sonocativo said:
Like I don't know that.
Lets say you tell them NO about something, oh, all hell breaks loose. You don't even know what its like. I don't hate her kids, they hate me... They want mom to themselves, you wouldn't understand.
Mom gave them too much control over the years they were alone and now that Im in the picture they have to share or rules changed, I wish there was an easier way to explain this to you. Ive done everything for them but get no respect from them. Mom and I are good, but she is stressed from referee-ing between us. But lately mom has seen their bad side and the counselor has told her the kids are doing everything to try and break us up, and they were good too ! Now its coming around back at them, all caught up in the web. And I speak the truth, they have their good sides but that's only 1% lately... but since mom has had her pow wow, maybe they will change for the better. They can be great kids, they were when we first met, but the teen years and hanging with the wrong crowds has changed them.
They know I will do anything for them, but if they are going to talk to me like their punk friends, then they are on their own. So don't judge me before you know the truth.
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Jiro said:
that's not what you said.

this is what you said -
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And have you ever heard of "figure of speech" ?
READ MY EARLIER POSTS.
I treat all the kids equally, I don't show favoritism. Its them who chose to be ignorant, and its not just towards me, they are that way towards a lot of people. Like I said in a later post, you only know bits of it.
Karma will get back to them eventually later in life, when they meet someone and experience what they are doing now from someone else.
 
sonocativo said:
And have you ever heard of "figure of speech" ?
READ MY EARLIER POSTS.
I treat all the kids equally, I don't show favoritism. Its them who chose to be ignorant, and its not just towards me, they are that way towards a lot of people. Like I said in a later post, you only know bits of it.
Karma will get back to them eventually later in life, when they meet someone and experience what they are doing now from someone else.
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backpedal.gif
 
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Oh, good grief! I never said it was easy or that I know what your children are like. I am going by what you posted, your behavior and attitude towards the situation. I do wish you the best and those children as well.
 
Babyblue said:
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Oh, good grief! I never said it was easy or that I know what your children are like. I am going by what you posted, your behavior and attitude towards the situation. I do wish you the best and those children as well.
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Well, like I said, its not just me, they are like that to everyone... Just the way they grew up. Yeah I get aggravated with them, who wouldn't but I don't hate them, just the attitude. They have their good days, but that's far and between, I just wish they would grow out of it quickly.
 
sonocativo said:
What I loved most is the step daughter is two faced, she acts like an angel but a bitch when her boyfriend or others aren't around. Yesterday as the tow truck left, the car was cocked in the driveway so my wifes ex used his truck to push the car over and also move it bback off the sidewalk, the stepdaughter wanted to steer it but couldn't get the key to turn so I showed her how to release tension off the steering wheel, then she went to put it in neutral and I said wait til the car is engaged or she will roll, then started screaming at me that she knew what to do, no one else is helping her so I said fine, **** your dads truck up!!! lol
Her boyfriend looked at her like wtf? and I told him, that's the real her and that's how she talks to me all the time, He said there is no reason for that, she wasn't happy. So, as we are trying to lock things up, the stepdaughter is in the garage looking for her dads car jack and asks me what I did with it...Me? No no no no, she put it in her car, which she swears she didn't, so yelling at me and all in front of her dad, I said open your trunk and look, as she is yelling and mouthing. so where was the jack...yup, so she's embarrassed now, and goes to slam her trunk lid, and damn near knocks her boyfriend out...LMAO oh it was a sight to see.
so in the end, her dad says she needs a new motor, which confirms what I said the other day to her in which she doesn't believe me, so I told everyone right there, that I will never help or fix another car she gets,
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Oh believe me, I know EXACTLY how you feel! With the exception of me not having children, I have an absolutely terrible step sister. She acts the same way as your step daughter, and she's 19. Yup, she knows it all, has done it all, and will take the word of her "friends" ( I say friends because she doesn't really have friends, she has people that hang out with her so shy buys them crap and when she's broke they're nowhere to be found but no matter how many times you tell her this, it's inaccurate. :D ) takes the word over these "friends" over her experienced family. She can't save up for a car, or take the time to get her license, but she can sure go spend hundreds of dollars on a new phone and contract ( When she was perfectly fine with the $50 a month pre-pay and now has to pay $600 in start up plus the phone, and a $120 a month and had a newer phone ) OOOOH but don't tell her that! Nope! She knows it all and is all knowing and wise! :roll: One day, just like your step daughter, I hope and pray she'll get the reality check she needs! ...... I hope it's a bad one too... I know it's bad..... but I really do! :D Some people just need that good kick in the butt to wake up!
 
Mewtilation said:
Oh believe me, I know EXACTLY how you feel! With the exception of me not having children, I have an absolutely terrible step sister. She acts the same way as your step daughter, and she's 19. Yup, she knows it all, has done it all, and will take the word of her "friends" ( I say friends because she doesn't really have friends, she has people that hang out with her so shy buys them crap and when she's broke they're nowhere to be found but no matter how many times you tell her this, it's inaccurate. :D ) takes the word over these "friends" over her experienced family. She can't save up for a car, or take the time to get her license, but she can sure go spend hundreds of dollars on a new phone and contract ( When she was perfectly fine with the $50 a month pre-pay and now has to pay $600 in start up plus the phone, and a $120 a month and had a newer phone ) OOOOH but don't tell her that! Nope! She knows it all and is all knowing and wise! :roll: One day, just like your step daughter, I hope and pray she'll get the reality check she needs! ...... I hope it's a bad one too... I know it's bad..... but I really do! :D Some people just need that good kick in the butt to wake up!
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EXACTLY ! you cant tell them anything....lol
 
if kid lives in your house you feed them your rules...their mother should step up show surpport
 
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