When it rains, It pours !

whatdidyousay! said:
That is not true , that is the life of having poor parents . Too many parents want to be their kids friends today instead of being a parent. We had to wash the dishes or put them in the dish washer after dinner when I was a kid .
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Yup, we had chores to do or we didn't get any spending money.
 
Well, I guess because I set mom in her place in front of the kids as well as set them in there place, Mom had a talk with them and got to the bottom of it. Yes, step daughter is upset she blew up her motor but taking her anger out on the wrong people (especially me) and both of them being lazy doing as they please... so things have mellowed down today, been a good day again so far. I just wish everyone would realize nothing is free and they weren't born with a silver spoon in their mouths, it was plastic.
 
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My kids 18, 16, 15, and 13. All have chores, they know the consiquences of not having them done. I make a monthly chore list and my boyfriend has my back with enforcing it. Everything in my home stays clean except for their rooms. bleh.
 
Babyblue said:
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My kids 18, 16, 15, and 13. All have chores, they know the consiquences of not having them done. I make a monthly chore list and my boyfriend has my back with enforcing it. Everything in my home stays clean except for their rooms. bleh.
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its funny, the stepson's room you could probly find a few dead bodies. The stepdaughters room is spotless ( but she cant keep the rest of the house that way ) why? Oh shes embarrassed when her frinds come over and blame the house mess on everyone else...hmmmm.
Well, its gonna be very different for them all soon and that's what I told mom and we agree that it starts now to get them in the groove. Zero Tolerance! lol
 
are you ready to re-kindle life with the family again.life short and flogging marriage you were once unhappy with can cause bitteness believe me i know from experience
 
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sonocativo said:
Jiro said:
that's the life of having kids....
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Read... they aren't my kids, I don't have to deal with them. And I refuse to put up with their bullshit. Mom can take them and be on her way and deal with them herself. I only need to care for my son.
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Sounds like you truly resent her kids. Now if my man spoke that way about my kids the way you do. I would show you the door. Do you even have anything positive to say about them? I understand your son is your biological child. But when you get into a relationship with a woman that has children, you have to take the whole package.
 
Babyblue said:
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Sounds like you truly resent her kids. Now if my man spoke that way about my kids the way you do. I would show you the door. Do you even have anything positive to say about them? I understand your son is your biological child. But when you get into a relationship with a woman that has children, you have to take the whole package.
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Like I don't know that.
Lets say you tell them NO about something, oh, all hell breaks loose. You don't even know what its like. I don't hate her kids, they hate me... They want mom to themselves, you wouldn't understand.
Mom gave them too much control over the years they were alone and now that Im in the picture they have to share or rules changed, I wish there was an easier way to explain this to you. Ive done everything for them but get no respect from them. Mom and I are good, but she is stressed from referee-ing between us. But lately mom has seen their bad side and the counselor has told her the kids are doing everything to try and break us up, and they were good too ! Now its coming around back at them, all caught up in the web. And I speak the truth, they have their good sides but that's only 1% lately... but since mom has had her pow wow, maybe they will change for the better. They can be great kids, they were when we first met, but the teen years and hanging with the wrong crowds has changed them.
They know I will do anything for them, but if they are going to talk to me like their punk friends, then they are on their own. So don't judge me before you know the truth.
 
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sonocativo said:
Babyblue said:
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Sounds like you truly resent her kids. Now if my man spoke that way about my kids the way you do. I would show you the door. Do you even have anything positive to say about them? I understand your son is your biological child. But when you get into a relationship with a woman that has children, you have to take the whole package.
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Like I don't know that.
Lets say you tell them NO about something, oh, all hell breaks loose. You don't even know what its like. I don't hate her kids, they hate me... They want mom to themselves, you wouldn't understand.
Mom gave them too much control over the years they were alone and now that Im in the picture they have to share or rules changed, I wish there was an easier way to explain this to you. Ive done everything for them but get no respect from them. Mom and I are good, but she is stressed from referee-ing between us. But lately mom has seen their bad side and the counselor has told her the kids are doing everything to try and break us up, and they were good too ! Now its coming around back at them, all caught up in the web. And I speak the truth, they have their good sides but that's only 1% lately... but since mom has had her pow wow, maybe they will change for the better. They can be great kids, they were when we first met, but the teen years and hanging with the wrong crowds has changed them.
They know I will do anything for them, but if they are going to talk to me like their punk friends, then they are on their own. So don't judge me before you know the truth.
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I am a mother to 2 teen step sons. and 2 teen biological children. Do not sit there and tell me I do not know or understand. I do not go online bitching about them. Insted I sit there and talk to my step children. They have told me "You arn't my mother" etc. I have heard it all. You just frankly handle it differently than I do.
 
Babyblue said:
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I am a mother to 2 teen step sons. and 2 teen biological children. Do not sit there and tell me I do not know or understand. I do not go online bitching about them. Insted I sit there and talk to my step children. They have told me "You arn't my mother" etc. I have heard it all. You just frankly handle it differently than I do.
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Correct.
 
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My biologial children are as just as challenging. How old is your biological son?
 
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sonocativo said:
Babyblue said:
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I am a mother to 2 teen step sons. and 2 teen biological children. Do not sit there and tell me I do not know or understand. I do not go online bitching about them. Insted I sit there and talk to my step children. They have told me "You arn't my mother" etc. I have heard it all. You just frankly handle it differently than I do.
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Correct.
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So be the adult and work with them. Insted of bitching about it.
 
The way I see it, he's sharing his feelings about his stepchildren. Nothing wrong with that.

I thought it was interesting and I can understand. Receive no respect, they shall get no respect. Respect goes both ways.
 
Babyblue said:
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Sounds like you truly resent her kids. Now if my man spoke that way about my kids the way you do. I would show you the door. Do you even have anything positive to say about them? I understand your son is your biological child. But when you get into a relationship with a woman that has children, you have to take the whole package.
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you do not have to put up with the kids crap . I didn't put up with my stepson crap , he was not going to be using drugs in my house he had help with the cost of the food he ate. And there is no rule saying you have to take the whole package .
 
as they say'youth wasted on the young'
children should be the beat of your heart and if they not then review your situation
 
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sonocativo said:
Babyblue said:
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So be the adult and work with them. Insted of bitching about it.
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How about you come give it a hand...It'll change your outlook on these.
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When I got with my guy, his boys pretty much ran around and did what they pleased. Since he worked many hours so he can support them as a single father. I am not saying it isn't easy. His boys were 15 and 12 yrs old and now they are 15 and 18. I am saying, be the adult and work with the children. I let them know that I understand it is difficult for them since I came in and the rules changed. It is not like a teen will change in your favor overnight. Time and patience will tell. I am not denying that they haven't drove me crazy. But my biological children have pulled the same stunts on my guy. So it goes both ways. Either you work with them or hang it up.
 
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MangaReader said:
The way I see it, he's sharing his feelings about his stepchildren. Nothing wrong with that.

I thought it was interesting and I can understand. Receive no respect, they shall get no respect. Respect goes both ways.
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These are children. Yes, respect goes both ways among adults. So who is the responsible one that will teach respect??? There are ways to sit down and communicate and family couseling is available.
 
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whatdidyousay! said:
Babyblue said:
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Sounds like you truly resent her kids. Now if my man spoke that way about my kids the way you do. I would show you the door. Do you even have anything positive to say about them? I understand your son is your biological child. But when you get into a relationship with a woman that has children, you have to take the whole package.
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you do not have to put up with the kids crap . I didn't put up with my stepson crap , he was not going to be using drugs in my house he had help with the cost of the food he ate. And there is no rule saying you have to take the whole package .
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I chose my children over any man. I do not allow my children to disrespect me or him. If my man allowed his children to doso then I would not be in the relationship in the first place. You get into a relationship with someone that has children and dislike the kids. Then the relationship will not work. You have to be willing to work out the issues and not be spitefull or hold resentment. Since that will make you just as bad as the child, fighting for attention.
 
I rule with an iron fist (figuratively). I was a step-dad to a troubled kid (before my current marriage) and had the entire PTA thanking me after they saw a considerable behaviour change in my step-son.

Before I took charge, he had been punching camp counselors, hitting smaller kids etc. Turns out he learned how to do these things from his mother (she hid it all too well, and played the "victim' while assigning blame on innocent people).
 
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