What/how you deal with temper children?

[Liebling:-)))]

Yes I have my soon to be 13 years old son who yell at me sometimes. I ignored his temper and show him who is the boss... I fix him in firm tone saying that his behavior is not acceptance and remind him about my rules then ask him to go his room to calm down... and come back when he feel better and still want to discuss with me... (He knows me well because I won't listen his temper talk until he calm down and talk me in properly way........)

He was like and go back to his room to calm down and then talk to me in friendly way and tried to convince me something. I explained him in friendly way why I'm disagree... Please respect it.

I warn my children that I will be not happy if they repeat do to convince me because they knows what word is "NO" which it mean NO, period and know my reasons...

Sometimes I raised my tone hard to show them that I really mean it...

It works.

What you react if your children yell at you?

Yes, I know every kids are different but I thought create a thread is good meanfuling for every parents who have experience how to deal with temper kids then it would help us to learn how to do something with kids.


Of course parents to be and non-parents also are welcome to share their opinions/feedback here and what their imagable of their future children or what they have experience with their parents's reaction.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Oh yes, I motivate my children back in postive way when they tried to test my limit.


I do not tolerate for my children's behavior for that..

 

[Cheri]

I do the same as you, Liebling, In fact sometimes my oldest son, Markus throw some temper tantrum when he asked me repeatedly if he could allowing his friend sleep over, when I told him once no because he already slept over the night before. Not every weekend his friend can sleep over, there are times that we need to spend time together as a family without his friend is around. I told him that his temper tantrum is not appropriately accept, that he has to take no as an answer no argue back, after I send him to his room to cool down and realized what he have done. I want my son to know that I'm the boss in the house and when I say no, it means no period no expections.

 

[Brains]

I dont need to lose my temper... Shannon is only 6 months old

 

[Tousi]

I hear duct tapoe works wonders.....j/k to start your day.

 

[TweetyBird]

my god daughter do temper sometime not at her mom.. she got temper cuz of her older sister always picky or mean on her.. make her got temper and pull her sister's hair and she lay on the floor and my god daughter pulled her hair, walk with hair... her mom saw it and stopped her, she still temper and her mom cant handle with her when she has temper.. so i told her mom that she need learn to how handle with her... she tried everything.. but i know she is not try do something.. so i told her dont tell my god daughter that i come ok then i go over her house, i sneaky, and watched my god daughter has temper and tooooo angry.. so i called her name, she went and stopped temper, stared at me, i went hey why u got temper??? she told me her sister picky on her and made fun of her that why she went mad...i told her u should not get temper alike that... u should listen ur mom when she say stop temper.. so i told her i am sowwy and go ur room and wait for 1 hr til she calm down or think something to say... then after 1 hr later, she pah sleep til she woke up and she came out, i say what did u learn? she say not get mad i say and?? she told mom i am sowwy so it fine everything.. werid to me, she dont listen her mom but only me.. i dont uddy abt that..

 

[CrazyMomma]

I remember I have those tempers like Liebling's son, yelling at my mom, etc. My mother SLAPPED me in the face, I mean it was a good one, and I know I deserved it, and it got me realized that my mom was the BOSS, not me. I had to follow her rules in the house and obey her till I move out the house.

I would do the same thing if my son kept yelling at me, I would slapped him in the face like my mother did to me and said, "Don't yell at me, if one more time, I will slap you again"

I guess teenagers need to learn to obey the parents' rules. They need to know WHO is the boss. They need to know what they can't have and what they are not suppose to and where he can't go for some reasons.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Crazymomma, have you read other posts on my thread about their temper children? Have you notice that my son is not only one who are temper but other children, too?

Anyway, I respect your opinion but I disagree with you because I know slap the face/mouth would not solve anything to teach children lesson but aggressive and rebel against their parents.

You know my opinion as I know your opinion, too... but you & I have no problem to respect each other when we disagree each other...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

my god daughter do temper sometime not at her mom.. she got temper cuz of her older sister always picky or mean on her.. make her got temper and pull her sister's hair and she lay on the floor and my god daughter pulled her hair, walk with hair... her mom saw it and stopped her, she still temper and her mom cant handle with her when she has temper.. so i told her mom that she need learn to how handle with her... she tried everything.. but i know she is not try do something.. so i told her dont tell my god daughter that i come ok then i go over her house, i sneaky, and watched my god daughter has temper and tooooo angry.. so i called her name, she went and stopped temper, stared at me, i went hey why u got temper??? she told me her sister picky on her and made fun of her that why she went mad...i told her u should not get temper alike that... u should listen ur mom when she say stop temper.. so i told her i am sowwy and go ur room and wait for 1 hr til she calm down or think something to say... then after 1 hr later, she pah sleep til she woke up and she came out, i say what did u learn? she say not get mad i say and?? she told mom i am sowwy so it fine everything.. werid to me, she dont listen her mom but only me.. i dont uddy abt that..

Because you has a good patience with your God daughter, that's why your God daughter respect you more.

You are good Godmother...



*I must go home now... my work time is over soon*

 

[GalaxyAngel]

I'm glad I'm not only ones..

As same my two teenagers in my house.. *mumbling*
Seek for red button to me...
Seek for agruement
Seek for asking allowance extra...
Seek for control us..
Seek for fix up their mistakes as condiser avoid truth...
So many different listing what I've seen my teenager..
I ain't let my teenager want do everything their power.

My teenager... *ahem*
Avoid.. Chores
Avoid.. Bedtime on time
Avoid.. curfew on time.. Mostly little late their curfew likely 10 or 15 minutes stall.. That lame an excuse.. I always say.. "Ah, you're late, no excuse... GO ROOM" you're grounded for couple days..
Avoid.. Parent asking you what we need help... (Favor)

I've seen around so many and their teenagers... *whistle*

Teenagers habits...
Bad mouthing/foul langauges
Agrument til win their power
Stealing
Lies
Controlling over Parents
Red buttons
Want more more clothes and expensive than wal-mart or cheap clothes..

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I do the same as you, Liebling, In fact sometimes my oldest son, Markus throw some temper tantrum when he asked me repeatedly if he could allowing his friend sleep over, when I told him once no because he already slept over the night before. Not every weekend his friend can sleep over, there are times that we need to spend time together as a family without his friend is around. I told him that his temper tantrum is not appropriately accept, that he has to take no as an answer no argue back, after I send him to his room to cool down and realized what he have done. I want my son to know that I'm the boss in the house and when I say no, it means no period no expections.

*nodding agreement* I know... Yes, I´m with you.

My children likes stay overnight at their friends as they at our house, too... I explained my children that I don´t want to have friends to overnight at us or at them every weekends and often... sometimes are okay... not too much...
... and No visitors in my house at Sundays because we want rest and peace... time with family together...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

GalaxyAngel, yes I aware it´s not easy job for the parents to deal with teenagers who become puberty...

How old are your 2 teenagers?

Fix your limit firm with them is good that they have to accept that it´s your rule. It´s bad if you gave in and let them what they wants.

My son will be 13 years old next 2 weeks time... See what/how he develop with his teenage time... I know it´s hard work to bring children up before they hit their puberty time but it´s worth.

They only want to test your limit... but it´s good that you keep your limit firm... what you did is great... keep hard, not give up...

Extra allowance? if they want extra allowance then help me with household chores...because the children know my

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I dont need to lose my temper... Shannon is only 6 months old

Wait and see then you will be surprised that its no fun to deal with temper children... when your baby become pre-teenager... It´s not easy job for the parents to deal with teenagers...

 

[GalaxyAngel]

GalaxyAngel, yes I aware it´s not easy job for the parents to deal with teenagers who become puberty...

How old are your 2 teenagers?

Fix your limit firm with them is good that they have to accept that it´s your rule. It´s bad if you gave in and let them what they wants.

My son will be 13 years old next 2 weeks time... See what/how he develop with his teenage time... I know it´s hard work to bring children up before they hit their puberty time but it´s worth.

They only want to test your limit... but it´s good that you keep your limit firm... what you did is great... keep hard, not give up...

Extra allowance? if they want extra allowance then help me with household chores...because the children know my

Liebling..

MY older son is 14 yrs old and will be 15 yrs old on June
My daughter is 11 yrs old and will be 12 yrs old.. on Aug
Both are big and tall.. pretty BIG TEENAGERs... (sigh)

They knew about my house rules.. I ain't going anything for them..
Hell...
My hubby or I are boss charge in the house!
Reason their want extra allowances.. I refused.
Unless chores first!!! If not.. then sorry.. I ain't going giving you..

Sometimes I feel alike need a peace.. Yes I do bribe them.. extra allowance.. They tend to go watch movie (theatre or Dance Club(Teenagers only), swimming and other activities... Keep them busy enjoy... So I can rest for 3 hours.. Relaxation Night! I would say once in 2 wks.. (Rid them) LOL

They hate chores! TOO BAD! Be Tough!


Simliar alike you... My daughter always wanted their friend come over my place for "sleepover or invite them dinner staying my place"
Reason why they WANT MY DELCOUISLY food..
cuz I'm chef.. *rolls*
I have soft heart and love heavy cooking ... willing open welcome them to stay my place for dinner but have to be tough stop!!

My last son always finish their homework and Open door welcome their friends tag along play play gamecube almost everyday..
I told my last son.. Limit 1 hour playing your friends can play on gamecube..
I've seen him, he is quite good manners and say good bye to his friends then close door... Ready for the dinner.. wow good for him.

 

[PurrMeow]

However few times in past months my son began yelling at me when I was in tub taking bath and knew that i was in tub and I have warned him few times to tell him to not yell but he repeat and all I have to do is sit him down and make him understand about yelling. I am still giving him warnings about yellings and when he got bad temper and slammed the door in his bedroom and locked himself so all I had to do is unlock and gave him spank and took one of his things away from him to make him learn lesson ..

 

[Catmandu]

My daughter is going through terrible two right now. Just started that couple of weeks ago. The other day when I came home with my daughter from work and my husband came out to take her out from booster chair. For some reason she got mad and kicked him so hard then yelled at him. Her behavior was unacceptable so daddy took her to bed for a two-minute time out. Two minutes later daddy said, I want an apology, but she screamed at him, "No!" So, daddy said, you get another 2-minute time out. Of course she cried and cried, but finally she realized that daddy is the boss. She apologized to daddy and she was such a good girl for the rest of the night.

If this is about teenagers with temper then I apologize and I will get back to you on this 10 years from today.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

If this is about teenagers with temper then I apologize and I will get back to you on this 10 years from today.

No, it´s not just teenagers but "temper children" which I mean any neutral ages...

Yes, I know what "terrible two" is... I had hard time with my eldest son when he had through terrible two... but Alan, my second son not...

Yes, it´s great to bring toddler up to learn who is the boss an earlier and learn to respect you as parent then it would be less hard for you to deal with your teenage child later.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Dealing With Those Temper Tantrums

DEALING WITH THOSE TEMPER TANTRUMS

If you a normal parent, there are times when dealing with tantrums might have you almost at the end of your rope. The following are some techniques that I have found very helpful in dealing with children's temper tantrums. Some of these measures need to be taken when children are not acting out, because there are important steps you can take at times when tantrums are not occurring to reduce their frequency.

1) Reward positive behavior

Before children ever misbehave, look for positive behaviors and praise them. In other words, catch children being good, and reinforce those behaviors.

2) Help them handle emotions

Encourage them to talk about their emotions and help them label and understand difficult feelings so that they can learn acceptable ways of dealing with them. Express your own emotions to them in simple terms so that they can learn from you how to deal with their problems.

3) Make rules and expectations clear

Make sure you keep your rules simple, and make sure children know what they are. State your instructions clearly and firmly and explain the consequences of misbehavior. Always follow through with those consequences.

4) Ignore the bad, encourage the good

When tantrums or whining begin, ignore this behavior (making sure children are safe). You might want to explain quickly and without emotion that you will talk when they are ready to listen. When the tantruming subsides, speak gently and offer an acceptable alternative to whatever forbidden object or activity caused the tantrum. If children respond well and accept consequences without fussing, praise them for being cooperative and find alternative activities.

http://members.aol.com/davenlewis/tips.html

http://members.aol.com/davenlewis/tips.html#...

 

[Opal]

I remember I have those tempers like Liebling's son, yelling at my mom, etc. My mother SLAPPED me in the face, I mean it was a good one, and I know I deserved it, and it got me realized that my mom was the BOSS, not me. I had to follow her rules in the house and obey her till I move out the house.

I would do the same thing if my son kept yelling at me, I would slapped him in the face like my mother did to me and said, "Don't yell at me, if one more time, I will slap you again"

I guess teenagers need to learn to obey the parents' rules. They need to know WHO is the boss. They need to know what they can't have and what they are not suppose to and where he can't go for some reasons.

It was normal back in old days but today we parents not allow to slap children's face, otherwise we will get in big trouble for child-abuse by Social Worker (CIA).

 

[Terri_7]

Positive modeling

A student showed up at school where I work as a School Psychologist had a handprint on his face. By law, I had to report to the CPS. I do not reinforce any type of physical abuse including spanking or slapping to my children. My son hit his brother and I asked him if it was ok for me to hit his daddy? and he looked surprised and said "no" and I said " that is why we do not hit each other in our family, not acceptable" For me, modeling is the best reinforcer. I would feel like a hyprocrite if I spank my kids and then my kids hit each other. But that's me.