Venting..

Chanse_It

Chanse_It

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I'll be honest in saying I've been joining a few dating sites. Most of them all hearing, until last night. I have only recently become deaf in my left ear since Nov 2013, and have so-so hearing in my right. My family jokes about it, and I do myself at times... I laugh along mostly, but sometimes it really hurts. Also, I recently quit Starbucks due to being bullied by my manager and peers because of my deafness. She kept it politically correct as to avoid a lawsuit, but she degraded me as a person. I had never felt my hearing loss was a handicap or disability in anyway, because I've read lips since I was young, until she pulled me aside one day... she told me I make my coworkers uncomfortable because they think I am being rude by ignoring them, or by my body language, or the way I respond at times which makes me unapproachable I guess, and told me I need to be more aware of how people perceive me. Its not normal for me to let someone put me down in anyway, but I have definitely been more sensitive since. I've been in some really bad relationships, and situations that have definitely had an impact on me.... so now with all this building up, I am very cautious of people.. especially those with full hearing.
I have been taking an ASL course again this hot summer (the first time I took it, my teacher then was hearing, and had most of her signs wrong I later found out), my teacher now is deaf and I really enjoy class. He is funny and so willing to help, and I feel we have this mutual fondness of each other in the most appropriate student-teacher kind of way. He is "oral" deaf (I am still learning about the deaf community as I am trying to be part of it) which is ok, I know most of my hearing classmates rely on that... but I find it is a bit of a setback for me. I seem to learn faster when he doesn't speak (and he really doesn't too often) but at times I want to block out what's left of my hearing in my right ear with music and just absorb everything he signs. Its a summer class so it's everyday for about 3.5 hours (usually shorter because he lives an hour away). I'm learning so fast, but when class is over.... I feel sad. Empty. Lost. Back to the hearing world where I am feeling even more of a lone wolf than before. I sign as I speak to my family which is helping it stick, but my younger sister is the only one who is willing to ask or learn. It's not that they don't care to learn, I think... it's more they don't understand what I am going through, the pain I've gone through, or how I feel. I recently almost lost my dad due to poor doctors in our area, and so we are also dealing with that as a family also, so my emotions for the most part I put on the back burner.
I'm new to my area, my teacher is the only person I know in my town who is deaf (and he doesn't live here), and I am just feeling distant from the hearing world, aside from my unknowing family... they forget almost everyday that I am deaf, and always ask me what side. It's a little frustrating now, because I don't want to speak. I want to sign. Unless I'm in class, I've no one to sign with, and haven't been able to get out in my area's deaf community or attend deaf events yet. I've no true friends, and don't miss the fake ones. I've gotten along just fine without anyone to vent to, but sometimes I really do miss genuine companionship.
Not complaining, just venting. I haven't been able to do this since I left the hospital, so when I stumbled upon this site today, it was a bit of a relief. Like, I'm not so alone and people may understand me better here. I don't know why I tried dating sites... I mainly just would like someone to talk to who somewhat understands my situation.

If you've taken the time to read this, I appreciate it.. time is priceless. I hope the rest of your day is good. :)

- Chanse
 
Hi ! That is disgusting the way your boss treated you and I feel you should report her for discrimination. She did not try to made your job easier and she should had told your co workers to speak up when talking to you . You should not let her get away with that crap . She'll do it another deaf or hoh person .
She violent your rights and needs to be reported .
 
:welcome:

I hope you can find some Deaf groups or activities to join in your local area.
 
Thank you..

I do feel as if HR should be notified of this issue, because she not only has done this to me, but even has degraded some of my coworkers. I appreciate the warm welcome and help.
 
I think your former boss was out of line. I agree that you should report her to HR. Once you disclose that you were deaf; she had to make reasonable accommodations which meant that if your co-workers reported that it seemed as if you were ignoring them when they spoke to you; she was supposed to find out from you; what was the best way to get your attention, and explain to your co-workers how they needed to approach you to communicate with them.

Your former boss created a hostile work environment, and set you up to fail. Something similar happened to me. Hang in there
 
I had the issue at work (water Dept.) when my HA got wet and shorted out, they wouldnt replace them and forced me to resign, instead I transfered back to an old department and contacted the ADA and let them deal with it.
 
Welcome to AD. And don't think you are alone. You can always talk to us and we can relate.

Many of us have dealt with people putting us down, whether at jobs or within family. We have to build a tough outer skin so things don't bother us. While we tell ourselves we immune to it at times, every now and then it still hurts. We just have to keep our heads held high.
 
sonocativo said:
I had the issue at work (water Dept.) when my HA got wet and shorted out, they wouldnt replace them and forced me to resign, instead I transfered back to an old department and contacted the ADA and let them deal with it.
Click to expand...


They didn't work after they dried out? I jumped into a pool once and after it dried it was fine. 3 or 4? Times I've got caught in a downpour and they got soaked and the batteries shorted out. Fine after they dried. I think only salt water wrecks them.
 
Yeah I can relate to this. I went functionally deaf( in the sense that I dont have enough hearing left to be of any use) during a deployment to afghanistan.

I'm no longer in the military, because a person who is deaf cant fight. I was told while standing on a walker after back surgery that I had 6 weeks left in the army and that I was going to be both jobless and homeless.

I am lucky in the sense that my wife is learning to sign along with me.
You should feel lucky that you have a class you can go to. In the job I work, I generally work upwards of 12 hours a day, and cant make it to a 3.5 hour a day class. I would love to spend 3.5 hours a day signing with different people.

You are not alone, you're a beautiful and stong individual who will make it through this just fine. If you need to talk then feel free to contact me.
 
I really appreciate that Horus, and I thank you for your service although it has altered you physically. You seem positive none the less, and it's great that your wife is learning with you! I just set up a Skype a few days ago, maybe we can all set something up sometime?
 
ambrosia said:
They didn't work after they dried out? I jumped into a pool once and after it dried it was fine. 3 or 4? Times I've got caught in a downpour and they got soaked and the batteries shorted out. Fine after they dried. I think only salt water wrecks them.
Click to expand...

Nope, never worked again, older analog ones at the time.
 
Chanse_It said:
I really appreciate that Horus, and I thank you for your service although it has altered you physically. You seem positive none the less, and it's great that your wife is learning with you! I just set up a Skype a few days ago, maybe we can all set something up sometime?
Click to expand...

Sure... hit me up whenever. My Skype name is same as forum name. Horus11b
 
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