There is this guy...

candybrowneyes

candybrowneyes

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There is this guy that I have met on another site that I talk to kind of on a regular basis. He is also Deaf and is awaiting a Cochlear implant. I am so happy for him and I know he is super excited. Buuuut, there is just something off about him.

Here is the problem and I don't want to get rude to him.

Ever since he learned of my Deafness and how I just became eligible for CI's he WILL NOT leave me alone about it. He bombards me ALL of the time about getting the ball running and people I MUST talk to and blah blah blah, I cannot sign onto my facebook without at least 5 emails from him, him iming me there or on messenger. He just keeps pushing me and pushing me even having people message me and email me!! Here is the thing I wonder, can people be obsessed with Deafness and not be deaf? He knows the smallest details about everything and the reason I am wondering is because he has told me Money and insurance isn't the problem but I just learned hes been trying to get a Cochlear Implant for the better part 15 years and has not been approved!!! With the loss of hearing that he has (or has told me) there is no reason whatsoever for him not to be approved.
I have a lot of Deaf friends and our conversations are normal, but anytime anything comes up with this guy its him asking or talking about my hearing aids, my maybe near future implants and my Deafness, its almost like he gets turned on and creeps me out. lol Dont get me wrong he is a nice guy but just weird..
I'm not a mean person and I have told him that I am moving at my own pace and I will do things when I am ready because this is all fairly new to me and he acts like he gets it but doesnt stop!
I was thinking Id just delete him altogether because he isnt even really a friend, more so someone who just bothers me more times than none.
What do you guys think?
 
This guy sounds like he has an obsessive personality. Probably best to delete him. If he is so obsessed with deafness then he could be obsessed about other things like controlling women, for one.
 
shel90 said:
This guy sounds like he has an obsessive personality. Probably best to delete him. If he is so obsessed with deafness then he could be obsessed about other things like controlling women, for one.
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Yeah I as thinking that, he is just so weird. I cant say it enough lol
 
well - all options have failed. You tried being nice and that was being abused. Now it's time to step it up to bluntness (but not mean). He probably THOUGHT he was being nice to help you and not even realize it. You need to address it in a best way you can.

How he reacts to it will determine the friendship with you.
 
Ha, I'm not rude in general. But if that happened, I'd be so rude to him, only because I'd be so annoyed! Good thing you won't. I'd delete him.
 
xspinningisfun said:
Ha, I'm not rude in general. But if that happened, I'd be so rude to him, only because I'd be so annoyed! Good thing you won't. I'd delete him.
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deletion without explanation would be rude. I don't see anything wrong with addressing the issue with him. His answer will depends on whether or not should he be blocked, deleted, ignored. lol
 
Well yeah, confronting him is a good thing too. I'm not saying that she shouldn't do that. If I was in the situation, I'd tell him rudely haha. It's a bad habit. Because I can be brutally honest and when I am, I tend to be extremely rude. I would confront him, but then delete him directly afterwards.

But if you think about it, if you delete him and if it's just rude, then he just needs to deal with that. That's just my point of view. Who cares if it's rude? ONLY because after you delete him, it'll be over with.

But I'm not disagreeing with you...confronting the issue is important. Because if we don't confront the person, then no one else will...PROBABLY. And people just need to know the truth.
 
There was used to be a woman that just imed me through the AIM and all she talk about is negative. She would just expressing me how horrible her life was, never one positive except her smiley faces and I don't really have any idea what to say to her, and she just kept iming me everyday and kept talking, won't stop so I blocked her.

Sometimes people can be very obessive with the computers when they are boring, probably too much.
 
Yes this guy is obsessive. He needs to understand that just because a person is deaf doesn't mean their entire life revolves around getting a CI or deaf issues. Yes, they are important, but he needs to know that deaf people like to discuss other things as well.

You need to flat out tell him, that you do support him getting a CI but you would also appreciate it if he gave you some space, and just tell him if he doesn't back off on his own you will take steps of your own to ensure that he does back off. If he gets mad and throws a hissy fit then that's your sign that not only is he obsessive, but that he also has maturity issues. If he says he will back off, but continues to stalk you online (yes there is such a thing, but difficult to prove in many cases), then you need to take legal action as this guy makes you feel uncomfortable and that you feel that he may harm you.
 
:wave: Ms Candy Brown Eyes, you do not owe anyone an explanation! DELETE (Too bad, soo sad. :giggle:)

I have done it in the past and will continue to do it to undesirable peoples behavior.
 
He sounds really scary to me, I've never had someone constantly go on about deafness but I would just tell him to stop constantly asking you about it.
I have a CI and it is great :) it's ok to talk about it generally but just constantly and obsessively is a bit weird, as you said.

I would probably delete him.
 
Thanks guys I did confront him about it in a nice way and he still keeps goin. I think ill just delete him. he creeps me out =/
 
candybrowneyes said:
Thanks guys I did confront him about it in a nice way and he still keeps goin. I think ill just delete him. he creeps me out =/
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ah there you go. don't feel bad cuz everything is ultimately dependent on his action and attitude. Your action is simply a response to his obnoxious behavior.

problem solved :cool2:
 
candybrowneyes said:
... I think ill just delete him. ...
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... or you could inject him like a turkey, then fry him like a piece of chicken Ms Candy Brown Eyes! Aaarrrgh! :giggle:

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Sometimes you gotta just tell people to back off. I would also be careful with people you only know online. There are alot of creeps out there. Go with your gut instinct. If he is creeping you out then I would stay away.
 
If else is not successful, then you would have to wear a wig and makeup your face for a while so that he won't find you. Hopefully, he will give up seeing you. Avoid some places that he knows where to find you.
 
I'd delete him if i were you too.. If he was following me around everyday, to me that would be stalking. But If he kept this up, I would probably call the police and let them know what's going on and let them handle the situation.
 
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