Teaching Fiancee Sign?

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BrnKthStcy

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I am marrying a woman I met in Church who has become my best friend over the past 8 months that we've been dating (I broke up with her for about two months and regret it) and proposed to her in December and getting married in April.

I've set my mind that regardless I am marrying her, but she's not confident in her sign and when I try to show her the correct signs she feels that I'm laughing at her. Also, she doesn't always want to sign except when we argue or when she says "I love you."

I've talked with her and we understand one another and she tries, but how do I show her that I need her to communicate with me more in sign sometimes instead of getting frustrated when I can't hear her or when I ask her what she says she says, "Nothing."

Any suggestions?
 
Is she open to the idea of learning ASL?
 
We usually use PSE since she has a hard time understanding ASL because I don't mouth the words when I sign ASL and sometimes she has trouble with the conceptualization of ASL. I'm learning ASL myself and I'm fairly good at it although I would like to learn more about the linguistics and grammar, idioms, and the hand shape meanings like the person (index finger), etc.

She's open to it, but she has a hard time grasping it.
 
Ok because if she wasnt open to it, then it would be harder to get her to learn. The motivation has to be there.

As for showing her that she needs to sign with you instead of getting frustrated, maybe tell her to try to follow a TV show without the captions or audio and tell her that it is like that for you. That it takes hard work to follow a conversation without visual cues.
 
She bought me "Sue Thomas: F.B.Eye" for my birthday and she loves it! She understood a lot more after watching it. She also bought me "Through Deaf Eyes" for my birthday and that opened up a lot more communication.

She's doing her hardest and I'm being as patient as I can, but it's her frustration and the fact that when I try to encourage her to learn more or differently she wants to get upset and stop.

The fact that sometimes I start signing and forget that she doesn't understand doesn't help much either. Especially when I "go all ASL" on her as she says.
 
My husband is hearing and sometimes we encounter the same frustrations. He knows I cant understand him at all if he doesnt sign. He has a strong Philly accent. :lol:


Hopefully, you both will find a medium ground and not let those frustrations become such a big thing in your relationship.
 
Well, I may be coming to you for pointers when I get married if that's okay!

The fact I am deaf and she's hearing doesn't bother either of us anymore though it bothered her for a while. Medium ground is definitely what we're looking for!
 
shel, have your hubby ever learn ASL from your brother as well? sometimes i think that person who wants to learn ASL, then its good to learn from a few different people than one person.

I sometimes ask my hubby to do my favor to show kids how to sign depending on the situation and kids did pick up. It's good to see different people by learning. you know? thats my opinion. thats why i ask you about your hubby to learn from your bro sometimes.
 
Frisky Feline said:
shel, have your hubby ever learn ASL from your brother as well? sometimes i think that person who wants to learn ASL, then its good to learn from a few different people than one person.

I sometimes ask my hubby to do my favor to show kids how to sign depending on the situation and kids did pick up. It's good to see different people by learning. you know? thats my opinion. thats why i ask you about your hubby to learn from your bro sometimes.
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When I first met my hubby 8 years ago, my brother wasnt around much. He was still at Gally completing his senior year. My hubby didnt know sign language at all and then he started hanging out with my former roommates and their friends. Then he started dating one of their friends who was deaf with Usher's. They moved in together and had 2 other deaf roommates who had no oral skills. that was how my hubby started really picking up ASL and then I started hanging out with him and his ex fiancee. When they broke up, he had gotten pretty fluent and was used to signing all the time around us. He still makes mistakes with some signs and I am always correcting him..lol
 
I'm always correcting Laura (my fiancee).

There was a funny experience once. I was teaching her and her sister (who lives in China and came to visit around the time we first started dating) how to sign the first couple of lines in "Baby Got Back" song and her sister kept signing "I like different butts" instead of "I like big butts". It was comical. Laura and I still joke about it.
 
Can your fiancee take ASL lessons from a teacher? Perhaps if a teacher corrected her signs she wouldn't take it so personally.

Think about this. How many husbands are frustrated trying to teach their wives how to drive a car? Teaching sign language to a spouse can be the same frustration. Sometimes it's better to let someone without emotional involvement teach the subject.
 
i agree with reba. it's like when i was a teenager and my father was teaching me to drive. it was a nightmare! so i actually paid to take driving lessons from a school. might be the same w/your fiancee, it's too personal. she might be better off taking a sign class, or learning from videos, etc.
 
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