Take the negative Turn it to Positive

AJ

AJ

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i dont want my friend's murder to be for nothing....please use this as a lesson. learn from her mistake.

if you are in an abusive relationship end it right away. the sooner u end it the better. alison waited too long. and even though she finally got rid of him, it was too late, the damage was done. and now she's dead. please....please im begging u, if there is even a hint of abuse get out. if you are hit once...leave. just leave. i know you are thinking, well he loves me...yeah...alison thought that too and now she's dead.
 
True, But on the other hand when a victim leaves, they still get murdered too, I've seen so many true stories movies about how the victims had a courage to leave an abusive home and end up getting murder. They need protection laws to protect them from abusive ex's. ;)
 
Cheri said:
True, But on the other hand when a victim leaves, they still get murdered too, I've seen so many true stories movies about how the victims had a courage to leave an abusive home and end up getting murder. They need protection laws to protect them from abusive ex's. ;)
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they need to do something.
 
I know what you are trying to say. But lot of women are in denial and afraid the truth come out. They are fear of their life. Not easy for them.
 
I agreed with you both(AJ and Cheri)

Honestly, I already left my ex boyfriend in 2004, who abused me for almost four to five months. Right now, he is looking for me. Im still hiding from him and already made the plans for catch him but right now, I dont know where he is. Im still being careful from him and even some of my friends dont know where I excatly live in becuase they are friends with my ex boyfriend.

Also, I want to see women to be safe from that kind of men(who abuse, etc like that you know what I mean). I'd been watching Lifetime abt that stories and different kind of stories.
 
I wanted to add to something else... I noticed in the another post that the best friend said that never would happen to her friend.... classical female denial. If you ladies ever find yourself saying he never would do that then stop right there stop that thinking..... Think he can do it and he will. I can't tell you how many times I have listened to a friend who is a female and she says that guy never would do that to her then I say yes it can happen and guys aren't playing when they really are angry. The girls dismiss me then I say ok .... then a few hours or the next few nights then someone comes and tells me what happened and I am shaking my head and when the girl or girls that I told them it could happen, they can't look me in the eye because they were in denial and I was grounded in the reality of things. I am not going to tell the girls " I told you so " because that would be a very mean thing to do but please remember ladies, anytime you find yourself saying " Oh that will never happen he won't hit her " .... Just change that thinking right there and Re-consider the fact that he is a very angry man and anything can happen with a very angry man. Angry men are very dangerous men. I know the ladies do not like to think of something that would be awful to think about. Remember that guys who hit you the men who do this to you hit you do not love you in fact , they hate your guts. I am not sure why but I don't think that way like some of the guys do but I do know from experience and listening to angry guys ramble on about their girlfriends or their wife that they hate the woman's guts but it is not exactly said right in the clear but it is there. Abusive guys have a twisted concept of what love is and it is never gonna be love at all. If you love something you take good care of it you don't hit or abuse something. Same concept. I hope this will save lives....God Bless.....
 
Heath,

You have to understand that women who were beaten by their abusers doesn't mean the abuse will stop, Abusers can haunt them down, find a perfect time to murder them. Even if victims had the courage to move out and start a new life, Some men won't give up, I've seen how they said that "if you leave me, I'll kill you." And you know it does not guarantee them safely.

And plus some women who are in an abusive relationship think they are at blame, why they were hit. But they don't realized that it's the abusers the one with the problem, not them. Remember the abusers have control over their victims, while the victims are experience low-self esteem has no way of getting out alive, either they leave or not. It's a losing situation. They need protection, a protection that guarantee them safely. You know that is way impossible.
 
Yes, Cheri I do realize that too and I wanted to add something else I have noticed how the abusive guys take advantage of a woman because it is in a woman's nature and her instincts to think good thoughts and then the abusive guys take full advantage of that until he maintains full control over a woman.
 
i do understand that its hard for a woman to leave an abusive situation. i just wish there was something that could be done. like....kill all the abusive men. that would work.
 
I forgot to add a phone number in case anyone is in the sitution of wanted to leave, but afraid for their safely. Call now, don't wait. ;)

The National Domestic Violence Hotline:

1-800-799-safe (7233) or tdd (1-800-787-3224)
 
AJ,

I was in abusive by my ex hubby when I married him for 2 years...I got out!! Well, the first year was fine then the second year was worse so that was when I left him for good!

Of course, he is in denial and tells deaf community bunch of lies about me...he makes himself look good...everyone believes him!

That's why I hate Oklahoma so much! I plan to move to another state within 2 to 3 years,.,,,I cant hardly wait! :D
 
coloravalanche said:
AJ,

I was in abusive by my ex hubby when I married him for 2 years...I got out!!
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It took me 15 years to get out of an abusive marriage, I guess I'm the stupid one :( ....
 
^Angel^ said:
It took me 15 years to get out of an abusive marriage, I guess I'm the stupid one :( ....
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Aww you arent stupid.

My friend's mother finally got of the marriage to her father for more than 20 years which he abused her horrible for whole of that years.

People make miskates...

:hug: Same as I, I always think that Im stupid for dating with my ex boyfriend who abused me for almost four to five months.
 
^Angel^ said:
It took me 15 years to get out of an abusive marriage, I guess I'm the stupid one :( ....
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Don't say that, You are not the stupid one. You were afraid just like other victims out there, One day you did had a courage to leave, And I'm proud of you. Look at the bright side, You have a man who loves and cherish you, that wouldn't put you in any harm. :hug:
 
AJ said:
i do understand that its hard for a woman to leave an abusive situation.
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Also they don't usually tell anyone about what is really going on, and no one knows until it's too late.

I mean it's kind of embarrassed telling people that your husband or wife is beaten you, and they look up at you saying why you're with him/her? Sometimes it hard to leave them when you love them too much and hoping they will change one day and they don't....
 
^Angel^ said:
It took me 15 years to get out of an abusive marriage, I guess I'm the stupid one :( ....
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Angel,

You are not the stupid one! It wasn't your fault! :hug:

My mother taught me when I was growing up that if a man ever lays his hand or verbally abusive to me whether if he is my boyfriend or husband for me to LEAVE him IMMEADIATELY! So, that's how I learned from my mother...she constantly reminded me many times when I was growing up!

Remember, dont feel guilty and it is not your fault! :hug:
 
AJ said:
i do understand that its hard for a woman to leave an abusive situation. i just wish there was something that could be done. like....kill all the abusive men. that would work.
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My ex bf use to abuse me and i have to admit it was very hard to leave my bestfriend is now dateing him and i'm worried he's gonna hurt her too. It's realy hard too watch all of this I'm glad I got out of the mind control and physical control

AJ i thank you for making this fourm I hope all girls get out of abusive relationships it's not worth getting hurt
 
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