Such a Morbid Topic, But Cant Help It!

shel90

shel90

Love Makes the World Go Round
Premium Member
Joined
Sep 7, 2006
Messages
45,076
Reaction score
336
I have wondered from time to time what it is like to be in our 70s or 80s. Are thoughts of death and dying rampant?

U know how young people think they are invincible and dont think of things like that and engage in dangerous activities thinking "It will never happen to me."

I wonder as we get older especially in that age range, it becomes the opposite. We become too careful thinking "If I do this, this can happen to me?'

I dont want to live a life like that but is that the natural part of being human?

Anyone, feel free to tell me that I am being morbid! I wont take it personally. :giggle:

It is something I wonder from time to time and the other thread made me think of it again. Do u think those kinds of thoughts from time to time?
 
Well, I would say thought of dying are rampant amongst the youngsters meaning teenagers and people in their 20's and 30's than the seniors.

That's my opinion.

Sure, old people had to face the reality of death because they would have to draw up a will and make arrangements for funeral and such. Well, young people should do this too.

However, I think old people are too busy enjoying their adventures, whatever that is, and can't be bothered obessing over their immiment death unless they're dying.

Nah, you're not morbid.

PS: We sometimes wonder how we'll die and how we'd prefer it and things like that. So it's quite normal.
 
shel90 said:
I have wondered from time to time what it is like to be in our 70s or 80s. Are thoughts of death and dying rampant?

U know how young people think they are invincible and dont think of things like that and engage in dangerous activities thinking "It will never happen to me."

I wonder as we get older especially in that age range, it becomes the opposite. We become too careful thinking "If I do this, this can happen to me?'

I dont want to live a life like that but is that the natural part of being human?

Anyone, feel free to tell me that I am being morbid! I wont take it personally. :giggle:

It is something I wonder from time to time and the other thread made me think of it again. Do u think those kinds of thoughts from time to time?
Click to expand...


According to the developmental psychologists like Erikson, the last developmental stage that we go through happens around this age, and is known as integrity vs. despair. It is when we start to come to terms with our lives. If we complete this stage correctly, we begin to see that we have had purpose in our lives, and that there was meaning, and therefore, we can face our imminent death without fear or regret. If we don't complete the stage properly, we end up in despair, and we fight death because we have found no meaning or purpose in our lives.

You know how older people will reminisce about "the old days"? That is one way of working through the integrity vs despair stage. Or how some older people will suddenly do something that seems out of character, like all of a sudden going to Africa to work with the Peace Corp? They have not seen much meaning in their life, and as a consequence, they are trying to dosomething meaningful in order to achieve life integrity.

I really like Erikson's life development stages, and they make a lot of sense. According to him, we begin to think about death as being inevitable, but a pshychologically healthy person will not use it to become more cautious, but less cautious and more open and loving because they have the realization that life is not forever.
 
Well, when I was in my teens and 20s, I didnt think too much about death. It was when I had kids that I started thinking about it and my mind would just play games with me especially about my kids. I hate that.


Anyways, Jillo, yes, I remember studying Erikson's theory on the developmental stages and I agree with u that they make perfect sense. Right now, i am using his 3rd or 4th stage of critical thinking with my students.


I guess that means those who are not in our 70s or 80s, make our lives purposeful so we wont face the despair later on, heh?

I wonder if I will...I know teaching is purposeful, but is it enough?
 
shel90 said:
Well, when I was in my teens and 20s, I didnt think too much about death. It was when I had kids that I started thinking about it and my mind would just play games with me especially about my kids. I hate that.

I wonder if I will...I know teaching is purposeful, but is it enough?
Click to expand...

I'm not a mother, but I would venture it's normal to be concerned about what happens if you're not around for your kids. So, to relieve your mind, perhaps it'd be best to discuss with your hubby and decide who you two trust most to take your kids in, if you two should pass away and draw up a will pertaining to this.

I think in the long run, you'll find teaching is purposeful when your former students comes up to you and thankyou for not giving up on them and hear their success stories.

Everyone has different idea of what is their purposes and how does that mean to them.

Sometimes, raising kids, educating young minds and being a good wife, friend, mother can be more than enough if you appreciate what you have.
 
Miss-Delectable said:
I'm not a mother, but I would venture it's normal to be concerned about what happens if you're not around for your kids. So, to relieve your mind, perhaps it'd be best to discuss with your hubby and decide who you two trust most to take your kids in, if you two should pass away and draw up a will pertaining to this.

I think in the long run, you'll find teaching is purposeful when your former students comes up to you and thankyou for not giving up on them and hear their success stories.

Everyone has different idea of what is their purposes and how does that mean to them.

Sometimes, raising kids, educating young minds and being a good wife, friend, mother can be more than enough if you appreciate what you have.
Click to expand...


When my daughter was first born, for the first 2 weeks, my mind constantly played games with me of something happening to her and I would get seriously paranoided at times. With my 2nd child, it wasnt as bad but I had 2 nightmares two nights in a row about a month ago of forgetting him outside when I left for work and antoher one of leaving him in my truck in his car seat overnight in the freezing temps. I wake up with my heart pounding so hard. It sucks...it really sucks.

I dont know if that is a normal developmental stage of life or just me with my wild imagination. As a child, I was labeled as being overly imaginative.
 
shel90 said:
Well, when I was in my teens and 20s, I didnt think too much about death. It was when I had kids that I started thinking about it and my mind would just play games with me especially about my kids. I hate that.


Anyways, Jillo, yes, I remember studying Erikson's theory on the developmental stages and I agree with u that they make perfect sense. Right now, i am using his 3rd or 4th stage of critical thinking with my students.


I guess that means those who are not in our 70s or 80s, make our lives purposeful so we wont face the despair later on, heh?

I wonder if I will...I know teaching is purposeful, but is it enough?
Click to expand...

The way you go about it, I would say "yes". It is in our adult years...20's-30's that we begin to understand the concept of mortality, and I believe it is especially strong after having children and seeing new life. It is another oneof the stages. And if we live our lives every day trying to find purpose and meaning, I definately believe that it will make resolution of that final stage much easier.
 
Miss-Delectable said:
I'm not a mother, but I would venture it's normal to be concerned about what happens if you're not around for your kids. So, to relieve your mind, perhaps it'd be best to discuss with your hubby and decide who you two trust most to take your kids in, if you two should pass away and draw up a will pertaining to this.

I think in the long run, you'll find teaching is purposeful when your former students comes up to you and thankyou for not giving up on them and hear their success stories.

Everyone has different idea of what is their purposes and how does that mean to them.

Sometimes, raising kids, educating young minds and being a good wife, friend, mother can be more than enough if you appreciate what you have.
Click to expand...

I agree with you. What is meaningful and purposeful is different for each of us, and it will change as we go through life. That is why we must all complete Erikson's last stage for ourselves.

There have been times that Ihave been overly concerned with what would become of my son if something were to happen to me, as his father diedwhen he was only 6. Ithinkit is natural for us to have concern over issues like that. If it becomes so all consuming that we refuse to do thingslike drive a car, or become germ phobic, then itis aproblem that needs to be addressed. A bit of anxiety is natural,though, and actually healthy, because it keeps us focused on our priorities.
 
I rarely do, but a lot of college students do.

During my years at RIT, I've heard from many students... "This won't happen to me!"

Some women will laugh that they will never get pregnant and mock those who accidentally got pregnant. Yet, they get pregnant themselves.

Some students will laugh that they can drink a lot cuz they have high tolerance for alcohol. Yet, they end up in the hospital... pass out... get shamed... puke all over... etc.

I was a resident advisor for a couple years and I've seen a lot of my residents talk like that. Yet, I end up writing them up cuz they got caught. Oh yeah, some of them actually said to me... "I can get away with everything!" Look who's talking! Hehehe!
 
VamPyroX said:
I rarely do, but a lot of college students do.

During my years at RIT, I've heard from many students... "This won't happen to me!"

Some women will laugh that they will never get pregnant and mock those who accidentally got pregnant. Yet, they get pregnant themselves.

Some students will laugh that they can drink a lot cuz they have high tolerance for alcohol. Yet, they end up in the hospital... pass out... get shamed... puke all over... etc.

I was a resident advisor for a couple years and I've seen a lot of my residents talk like that. Yet, I end up writing them up cuz they got caught. Oh yeah, some of them actually said to me... "I can get away with everything!" Look who's talking! Hehehe!
Click to expand...

Yep, kids that age have no concept of their own mortality. Plus,their frontal lobes aren't fully developed!:giggle:
 
:ty: for create a thread instead of keep the off-topic on my other thread ;)

Well I know some of elders became depressed often when they can't do anything that they was used to do when they was young..

All I can say is that we are all the human, we all will die in the lifetime... It sucks, but that's us... :(
 
Yeah, the death culture is a natural.

My opinion, I don't think it should have to worry about a death, besides, it may waste a time if a person is worrying too much.

Personally, I dont think about my own death or to not be afraid of it. Sure, the death is pretty creepy but, as for me, not for a second. :)
 
Perhaps as one gets older, then the 'things taken for granted' becomes more realistic, to appreciate, to be thankful for and to cherish....when certain thoughts of 'dying' invades the mind. No matter the thoughts, one cannot be morbid to think likewise--afterall, we're all humans and thoughts come and go, whether it impacts each one of us greatly and others, not so greatly.

Therefore, live for the moment, smile at others, etc.,....peaceful moments allows warm and greater feelings that surely makes each moment even more precious. That in itself is not a 'dying' thought if each one of us continues enliven and enlighten others and oneself!! :)





~RR
 
Roadrunner said:
Perhaps as one gets older, then the 'things taken for granted' becomes more realistic, to appreciate, to be thankful for and to cherish....when certain thoughts of 'dying' invades the mind. No matter the thoughts, one cannot be morbid to think likewise--afterall, we're all humans and thoughts come and go, whether it impacts each one of us greatly and others, not so greatly.

Therefore, live for the moment, smile at others, etc.,....peaceful moments allows warm and greater feelings that surely makes each moment even more precious. That in itself is not a 'dying' thought if each one of us continues enliven and enlighten others and oneself!! :)




~RR
Click to expand...

Excellent life philosophy, RR.
 
Well i had gone through few deaths of beloved ones... especially my late husbane passed away in my arm about 13 yrs ago...newest death recently was my room mate.. last Oct...she was healthy for 76 yrs... all of sudden she fell sick... I called 911... got her to the hospital... 4 hours later she passed away... was buried on her birthday... i still have her cat.. still live in same house...
 
SxyPorkie said:
Well i had gone through few deaths of beloved ones... especially my late husbane passed away in my arm about 13 yrs ago...newest death recently was my room mate.. last Oct...she was healthy for 76 yrs... all of sudden she fell sick... I called 911... got her to the hospital... 4 hours later she passed away... was buried on her birthday... i still have her cat.. still live in same house...
Click to expand...

That is very hard to go through. :hug:
 
Back
Top