Stupid question

[Momoftwo]

" What is it like to be deaf? "

People have asked me.

Deaf? Oh, hmm... how do I explain that?

Simple: I can't hear.



No, wait... it is much more than that.

It is similar to a goldfish in a bowl,

Always observing things going on.

People talking at all times.

It is like a man on his own island

Among foreigners.


Isolation is no stranger to me.

Relatives say hi and bye

But I sit for 5 hours among them

Taking great pleasure at amusing babies

Or being amused by TV.

Reading books, resting, helping out with food.



Natural curiosity perks up

Upon seeing great laughter, crying, anger.

Inquiring only to meet with a "Never mind" or

"Oh, it's not important".

Getting a summarized statement

Of the whole day.



I'm supposed to smile to show my happiness.

Little do they know how truly miserable I am.

People are in control of language usage,

I am at loss and really uncomfortable!



Always feeling like an outsider

Among the hearing people,

Even though it was not their intention.



Always assuming that I am part of them

By my physical presence, not understanding

The importance of communication.



Facing the choice between Deaf Event weekend

or a family reunion.

Facing the choice between the family commitment

And Deaf friends.

I must make the choices constantly,

Any wonder why I choose Deaf friends???



I get such great pleasure at the Deaf clubs,

Before I realize it, it is already 2:00 am,

Whereas I anxiously look at the clock

Every few minutes at the Family Reunion.



With Deaf people, I feel so normal,

Our communication flows back and forth.

Catch up with little trivials, our daily life,

Our frustration in the bigger world,

Seeking the mutual understanding,

Contented smiles and laughter are musical.

So magical to me,

So attuned to each other's feelings.

True happiness is so important.

I feel more at home with Deaf people

Of various color, religion, short or tall.

Than I do among my own hearing relatives.

And you wonder why?

Our language is common.

We understand each other.



Being at loss of control

Of the environment that is communication,

People panic and retreat to avoid

Deaf people like the plague.



But Deaf people are still human beings

With dreams, desires, and needs

To belong, just like everyone else.

By Dianne Kinnee

 

[GraysonPeddie]

since I can hear normally.

You mean with hearing aids?
Jazzy, I have conductive deafness, and it's really hard to say whether or not I HEAR sounds or I'm just feeling the vibrations......I can feel the beat on dancable music better then a lot of hearing people.
It's very hard to decribe what it is like to be dhh......Many of us here have been dhh since birth. We don't know what sound and hearing like a hearing person is like.

It seems like you are quoting from my post. I don't wear hearing aids but yesterday, I've suffered hearing loss to my right ear (it may be temperory) since I tried to get my wax (yuck sorry--didn't mean to mention this) out of my right ear and I'm going to school today but will have problems communicating effectively and I don't have hearing aids with me. My parent are over at San Fransisco, CA and won't be back until Wednesday and take me to my ear doctor.

 

[Ruliya]

I am lucky tonight cuz I am going to sleep alike a baby while my husband has to deal with next door's loud music which it will goes on all night. He is not too happy about it.

Ha ha, I reckon that certainly is one of the many pros about being deaf!

 

[VamPyroX]

I already tried and it wasn't exactly workable. Wherever I was, I was still able to hear the noises and voices. The noises and voices are certainly diminished but not enough to block figuratively everything to be in a deaf person's shoes.

Hmm...

Gee...


Let's see...

How about sticking your head in an airplane engine for a moment and let it deafen you for a bit.

 

[Ruliya]

or watch tv with sounds on and without captions on it...

That does sound intriguing but what's a "captions"? Where can I get that?

 

[VamPyroX]

Nah, you did not offend us with this question.

I do not know those feeling I guess, being deaf is nothing to me. It is part of who I am and I am no shame of it. No one can give u idea what it is feel alike unless u experience it. It is alike me trying to pix what it is alike to be a man.

I am lucky tonight cuz I am going to sleep alike a baby while my husband has to deal with next door's loud music which it will goes on all night. He is not too happy about it.

Your husband suffers?

It's possible to learn to ignore or block out sounds.

I can sleep with my hearing aids on and still ignore sounds unless they are uncommon. For instance, I can sleep and ignore sounds of people walking by my door... but I can wake up to the sound of my alarm clock or someone knocking on my door.

 

[GraysonPeddie]

That does sound intriguing but what's a "captions"? Where can I get that?

"Closed Captions" in TV. Like, speech to text, done by Closed Caption centers... If you have a TV with Closed Caption, just turn it on and tune to a TV show with closed caption and see how the words come out on the TV screen.

 

[Ruliya]

Glad that helped you, I used to ask hearing people to describe what it was like being able to hear music. They provided connotations/analogies and that helped me visualize it.

Sorry for going off topic a little.

That's alright and I don't mind. Please do continue 'offtopicing'. From these posts, I learned more about deaf culture. Many thanks for being so helpful. Appreciate it a lot. Aside from that, I made a typo in my previous post and according to this response, I couldn't edit to correct it. Here's the corrected word: elucidated.

 

[Ruliya]

That is about how I hear things. I have OME and that is driving me crazy. I go to the doctor in a week and a half and they are hopefully going to put permanent tubes in my ears, which should finish the problem. It's like constantly having water stuck in your ears and not getting it out.

What's a "OME"? And oh yes, I do know what you mean. Ugh.

 

[Ruliya]

Hmm...

Gee...


Let's see...

How about sticking your head in an airplane engine for a moment and let it deafen you for a bit.

Ha ha, I don't think so!

 

[Ruliya]

"Closed Captions" in TV. Like, speech to text, done by Closed Caption centers... If you have a TV with Closed Caption, just turn it on and tune to a TV show with closed caption and see how the words come out on the TV screen.

Cool! It comes with TV? I presume the manual would have some technical information in it?

Momoftwo, nice poem!

 

[GraysonPeddie]

Not all of 'em... You will need to check in the manual that came with your TV and the menu to see if closed caption is there.

 

[Ruliya]

Okay, thanks. I'll check it out as soon as I can find the manual. Not a long time ago, it ran off on its own to hide from me!

 

[VamPyroX]

Okay, thanks. I'll check it out as soon as I can find the manual. Not a long time ago, it ran off on its own to hide from me!

Modern television remotes usually have a CC button on it. If not, it can still be accessed with the MENU button or the same button on the television. Just open the menu and look around for it. It can't be hard to find.

What television do you have?

 

[Ruliya]

Modern television remotes usually have a CC button on it. If not, it can still be accessed with the MENU button or the same button on the television. Just open the menu and look around for it. It can't be hard to find.

What television do you have?

It's Mitsubishi WD-52528.

Yes, I checked and it comes with Closed Caption! Although, I wonder was there any difference between analog and digital caption?

 

[GraysonPeddie]

Analog captions for analog, standard TVs are for showing fixed-width, white text on black background. Digital captioning is a new kind of captioning like subtitles in DVDs. Digital captioning can have any kind of color for text and background, plus transparency and text style.

It's Mitsubishi WD-52528.

OOH You got a nice HDTV!!! You got a lot of money to spend for 52" but I only spent $700 for my 32" LCD HDTV (made payments to my mom's Circuit City card -- my mom bought it for me).

 

[Ruliya]

Analog captions for analog, standard TVs are for showing fixed-width, white text on black background. Digital captioning is a new kind of captioning like subtitles in DVDs. Digital captioning can have any kind of color for text and background, plus transparency and text style.

Ohhh, I got it. VamPyroX and GraysonPeddie, thanks for being so helpful!

OOH You got a nice HDTV!!! You got a lot of money to spend for 52" but I only spent $700 for my 32" LCD HDTV (made payments to my mom's Circuit City card -- my mom bought it for me).

Nice, you got a good deal! Yes but my new TV sure ate my pockets.

 

[NFGTragedy]

You could try this.... put in earplugs in your ears... and put on the earmuff... try talking to someone, or watch tv with sounds on and without captions on it... that would be similar way of being deaf.

Even with the best in canal plugs and over the ear muffs you will only experience a near 40dB loss if you are a hearing person. Of course that is on its way to experiencing a more "deaf" feel but in loss terms 40dB isn't considered deaf so to say and it is nearly always considered only HOH. It is a huge loss for a hearing person as you will notice if you try this method. Of course if you just want to experience talking and experience a more "less hearing world"... then that would most likely do it. It is the closest you will ever get to being "deaf" if you are a hearing person.

You also must remember that being hearing then losing your hearing post speech would be different then never hearing sounds at all. You would process sounds differently. It is also, to the best of my knowledge, unproven whether what you hear is exactly what I hear (Yes, I am hearing )... as we all developed differently and react differently to different sounds.

I am not saying that you can't pretend to be deaf... or try and simulate deafness... but overall just that you will not be deaf, nor can anyone simply explain what its like. Compare it to say asking "what is it like to be african american" if you are white... well what is it like to be white? Back to the real topic.. you will not experience what it is they experience day in and day out simarily to them not being able to experience what we (hearing) do day in and day out. Since not many have crossed the two, from a hearing world to a deaf world (late in life-fast), it is very hard to get an honest opinion and describtion of both sides. That is just my honest opinion on it though since you cannot mock or mimic being deaf unlike other things such as being tall or short... or even blind.

If you wish to just experience things in a more "deaf" way... then try muting the tv and pop the captions on... or watch a movie that is muted with subtitles on. If you wish to experience the language barrier, then go to a place that speaks a different languge... hell, even go to a deaf event. Chances are you will feel out of place very quickly and the chances of you keeping up with the conversations with your small understanding of sign will be near impossible. I have a number of deaf friends who occasionally will go off into a story where I will lose track of whats going on... they will later laugh and leave me sitting there staring at the wall. Similarly to this post where they commented on the fact of being left out and then getting a watered down dry explaination when asked "what was so funny?".

They may be talking with their other hearing friends, and they both will laugh but you won't be able to share in the moment. It creates a detachment from any kind of emotional bond with them. Then if you ask them what's going on, they often give you a watered down, condensed version like "We're talking about tomorrow." Then you have to ask, "What about tomorrow?" etc...

I've had that before and it sucks. Its that feeling that has helped me choose to make different decisions on how I, as a hearing person, interact when in a mixed environment... but I guess thats a bit off topic . I thought I'd bring it up and let you know it does go the other way though.

I'm not sure if there is anything else you can really do to experience it though besides those two and maybe the ear plug/muff setup. Good luck on your search.

 

[Theseus]

NFGTragedy, that is a very elucidated posting. Ruliya already taught me a new word *chuckle*.

I really liked your post, and I agree but would like to include one thing. Even trying to mimick what being blind is like in every aspect would be difficult, because many blind people have developed an advanced sense of touch... for instance, among the 10% of the blind who read Braille, a blind person is able to rapidly sense a number of dots in an area the size of the tip of his or her finger--many people would find that hard to imitate because it takes time to develop such a sense of touch.

The same applies to how deaf people use their sense of sight in an atmosphere lacking sound.

You have a very valid point that the reverse can happen with hearing people-- put a hearing newcomer to sign language in a completely deaf atmosphere and have that newcomer try to understand what deaf people are signing, that newcomer would not understand the context even though he might understand some of the signs; and end up drifting off and staring at the wall. Such an evening would be one of immense and unnecessary boredom, feeling left out and thinking, "What's the point to this socializing? I cannot follow the conversations. I will go crazy if I don't get out of here and do something else."

Also, hearing people can learn how to sign more easily than a deaf person can learn how to speak. For example, a hearing person can see his/her own signing in a mirror, but a deaf person cannot usually hear his/her own voice. So this makes it more frustrating for deaf people trying to communicate with hearing people than the other way around, in my opinion.

 

[NFGTragedy]

Theseus, my point with using blind as an example was really only justified on the idea that you could cover your eyes and experience what it is to be blind. You could close your eyes or block your vision with some device and learn how to cope without sight. You could also pick up walking techniques and possibly braille when adapting to your loss of vision. To the best of my knowledge though you cannot just "turn off" your ears. Surgerical destruction of your inner ear would be the only way I can see to get the deafness you wish to experience. There are also no devices on the market that can get you experiencing deafness. That is really all of what I meant by it.