Speech: A blessing or a curse?

the un-invited heart.....
 
BecLak said:
However, the response of my family members went something like this:

But you have been speaking all your life....why stop now?

Many people want the ability to speak but can't, consider yourself blessed that you can, why not?

But I miss having a proper conversation with you and hearing your voice.

Why waste your time learning and using sign language when you can speak?

You have managed fine up until now with speaking, why change?

It is so much easier just to speak.

But you are not 100% Deaf, so you don't need to use sign language.
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The one thing that really struck me about the above comments is that they're entirely focused on the needs of the hearing world without taking your needs as a Deaf individual into consideration. "It's easier for us if you just used your voice, so you should use your voice." Never mind what's better for you.

If your family is willing, I would suggest they read some books about Deaf history and culture. It might give them the perspective they need to understand and support your choice. I personally think [ame=http://www.amazon.com/Deaf-America-Culture-Carol-Padden/dp/0674194241]Deaf Culture in America[/ame] is an excellent read, and while it is focused on American Deaf culture (I believe you live in Australia?) I think Deaf cultures around the world share many of the same ideals with regards to autonomy and the necessity of signed communication.
 
Mountain Man said:
The one thing that really struck me about the above comments is that they're entirely focused on the needs of the hearing world without taking your needs as a Deaf individual into consideration. "It's easier for us if you just used your voice, so you should use your voice." Never mind what's better for you.
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In bold, I seen this happen often. Even to me and even I got BSL interpreter there cos they not comfortable with BSL interpreter.
 
Hohtopics said:
I see that BecLak did not answer the above question.

BecLak, if I were you I'd keep your speech skills, you may regret losing it someday. Although it's your call.

Perhaps, you could also give hearing aids another try after not wearing them for a long time. As pointed out in some of the other threads, they're better now than they were 20 to 30 years ago. It might enable you to understand others better.
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Then again, being able to sign in more than one language will also increase understanding, and allow for a greater degree of communication than monolingual speaking people have.:cool2:
 
Mountain Man said:
The one thing that really struck me about the above comments is that they're entirely focused on the needs of the hearing world without taking your needs as a Deaf individual into consideration. "It's easier for us if you just used your voice, so you should use your voice." Never mind what's better for you.

If your family is willing, I would suggest they read some books about Deaf history and culture. It might give them the perspective they need to understand and support your choice. I personally think Deaf Culture in America is an excellent read, and while it is focused on American Deaf culture (I believe you live in Australia?) I think Deaf cultures around the world share many of the same ideals with regards to autonomy and the necessity of signed communication.
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Unfortunately, these situations are always about what is easiest for them. It has always puzzled me that the hearing want to label the D/deaf as having a disability, but then they also expect the D/deaf to accommodate them rather than the other way around. Ironic, ain't it?
 
Mountain Man said:
The one thing that really struck me about the above comments is that they're entirely focused on the needs of the hearing world without taking your needs as a Deaf individual into consideration. "It's easier for us if you just used your voice, so you should use your voice." Never mind what's better for you.

If your family is willing, I would suggest they read some books about Deaf history and culture. It might give them the perspective they need to understand and support your choice. I personally think Deaf Culture in America is an excellent read, and while it is focused on American Deaf culture (I believe you live in Australia?) I think Deaf cultures around the world share many of the same ideals with regards to autonomy and the necessity of signed communication.
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:ty: Mountain Man, yes it appears that they view me as mostly hearing, that I am not 'fully Deaf', because my whole life I was labelled HoH, but in fact I was born severely-deaf. I need to educate them otherwise. They are trying to understand. (btw, I'm Australian in Thailand)
 
Mountain Man said:
The one thing that really struck me about the above comments is that they're entirely focused on the needs of the hearing world without taking your needs as a Deaf individual into consideration. "It's easier for us if you just used your voice, so you should use your voice." Never mind what's better for you.

If your family is willing, I would suggest they read some books about Deaf history and culture. It might give them the perspective they need to understand and support your choice. I personally think Deaf Culture in America is an excellent read, and while it is focused on American Deaf culture (I believe you live in Australia?) I think Deaf cultures around the world share many of the same ideals with regards to autonomy and the necessity of signed communication.
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It's not as easy as it sounds. First of all, BecLak did not grow up "Deaf". She just decided out of the blue that she wanted to live a "Deaf" life after 40+ years of not living like one. And I think what more so than anything else made her want to live a "Deaf" life was just cause of this forum. Even though I suspect she actually had and still have very little live experience with the Deaf themselves. Not that there's anything wrong with it. Again, it's her call. But it isn't as simple or "black and white" as you're making it out to be. It's still very much a gray area.
 
jillio said:
Unfortunately, these situations are always about what is easiest for them. It has always puzzled me that the hearing want to label the D/deaf as having a disability, but then they also expect the D/deaf to accommodate them rather than the other way around. Ironic, ain't it?
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Again, my mother very much accommodated my needs even though she didn't know signs. She was just naturally expressive that also mouthed or articulated the words very well to go along with my good lipreading skills. It doesn't necessarily have to be "one or the other".

By the way, where is your Deaf son? Why don't he come in here and speak for himself?
 
Hohtopics said:
It's not as easy as it sounds. First of all, BecLak did not grow up "Deaf". She just decided out of the blue that she wanted to live a "Deaf" life after 40+ years of not living like one. And I think what more so than anything else made her want to live a "Deaf" life was just cause of this forum. Even though I suspect she actually had and still have very little live experience with the Deaf themselves. Not that there's anything wrong with it. Again, it's her call. But it isn't as simple or "black and white" as you're making it out to be. It's still very much a gray area.
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After 25 years of not living like a Deaf person, I became Deaf after learning about Deaf culture from one of my ASL classes. I am sure Becklack is like me...we got fed up with trying to fit in the hearing world without any help from them.
 
shel90 said:
After 25 years of not living like a Deaf person, I became Deaf after learning about Deaf culture from one of my ASL classes. I am sure Becklack is like me...we got fed up with trying to fit in the hearing world without any help from them.
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:ty: :ty: :ty: Shel.
 
Using speech: why do humans have speech ability in the first place- to accomplish what?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/007
 
drphil said:
Using speech: why do humans have speech ability in the first place- to accomplish what?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/007
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communication which can achieved through non verbal means as well
 
Speech amounts to only a small percentage of our communication.

Yes, it is a skill to have speech, I am not denying that, besides I work very hard everyday to use that skill. I will still use it with what I am doing to support my husband in his work, however, I want the option not to use speech whenever I can avoid doing so, because when I was younger, had I been given the choice I would have gone with sign language in the first place.

Speech takes too much effort. It tires me and strains my throat. Sign language is by far the better and best choice for me. Since I began to learn sign language, I have come to find it has many uses besides just my own convenience. It comes in handy when you need to communicate to your children through windows when your children are playing outside, at McDonald's playgrounds, when in the car etc; also from a distance across a road or in the mall. It also comes in handy when you are in hushed environments or someone is on the phone and cannot be disturbed; or giving instructions to your children when hubby is taking a much needed rest. These are just to name a few of the conveniences that are for both deaf and hearing.

I also am wanting to go 'full toolbox' visual communication which includes not only sign language but also pen and paper; texting, instant messenging etc.
 
Hohtopics said:
It's not as easy as it sounds. First of all, BecLak did not grow up "Deaf". She just decided out of the blue that she wanted to live a "Deaf" life after 40+ years of not living like one. And I think what more so than anything else made her want to live a "Deaf" life was just cause of this forum. Even though I suspect she actually had and still have very little live experience with the Deaf themselves. Not that there's anything wrong with it. Again, it's her call. But it isn't as simple or "black and white" as you're making it out to be. It's still very much a gray area.
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I don't think I'm guilty of presenting this situation as either simple or "black and white". There was actually a lot of nuance in my suggestion. It doesn't matter how, when, or why she decided to go voice off. The point is that it's a decision that she feels is best for her, and her family apparently needs some help understanding what's behind that decision. There's quite a lot to that.
 
I have begun to go more "voice-off" when in public situations. Mainly because of everyone assuming I can hear if I can speak. I have had people refuse to repeat things or tell me that they don't feel right facing me when they speak. Just this week, my doctor fired his receptionist for her comments to me when I explained that I was deaf and could she please face me when speaking to me as I can read lips a little. She was quite rude and very vulgar, hence the firing. He apologized profusely and we got what I needed taken care of. Since my family is not making learning ASL very easy for me and they are not willing or are unable to learn, I speak at home. At the libraries, I use pen & paper. I am never without at least 3 notebooks and a ziplock of pencils in my rollator basket.
 
KristinaB said:
I have begun to go more "voice-off" when in public situations. Mainly because of everyone assuming I can hear if I can speak. I have had people refuse to repeat things or tell me that they don't feel right facing me when they speak. Just this week, my doctor fired his receptionist for her comments to me when I explained that I was deaf and could she please face me when speaking to me as I can read lips a little. She was quite rude and very vulgar, hence the firing. He apologized profusely and we got what I needed taken care of. Since my family is not making learning ASL very easy for me and they are not willing or are unable to learn, I speak at home. At the libraries, I use pen & paper. I am never without at least 3 notebooks and a ziplock of pencils in my rollator basket.
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I think I love your doctor!:D
 
drphil said:
Using speech: why do humans have speech ability in the first place- to accomplish what?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/007
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Funny, nobody is complain about ancient sign languages that apemen used to 'talk' through hands millions years ago before their signing ability was evolved into speaking... Remember, they were hearing, too.
 
Okay. I'll say this as a hearing person who has spoken to (er?) deaf and people of oral languages that weren't my L1.

1. When I dated a guy who was French (meow), I appreciated his translation and us sharing words> Since we were in an English speaking environment, he appreciated my patience! There was something to be said for him parsing out the words in English or me struggling to find a root Latin word so we could conjugate a verb or something.

When I have someone struggle in English to pay me a compliment when they could say it in Spanish, I extra appreciate it: they were trying to honor me by saying it in my L1.

2. Just like Deaf want hearing to sign for them (if they can), hearing people like to hear voices. It connects with emotion. It's *our* language.

I think your family loves you and wants to hear your voice because that's what they know. There's a neurological response that's activated when they hear your voice. I think if you can do some ASL and voice (both groups) you'll find your own (new) niche. Maybe as you teach them ASL you can be voice on but when they want to talk to you they have to do it voice off? :)
 
KarissaMann05 said:
Funny, nobody is complain about ancient sign languages that apemen used to 'talk' through hands millions years ago before their signing ability was evolved into speaking... Remember, they were hearing, too.
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No one complained because that's how they all did it. :)

Actually, we're not sure how language developed. And there is nothing that suggests primitive gestures were anything like a full blown language.
 
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