Son refusing to speak since he entered school in Sept...

butterflygal

butterflygal

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If I posted this in the wrong place, please feel free to move this.

Since september, my son entered J.K. and has not spoken one word. His teacher has approached me and told me that she would like to have a meeting about how to encourage him to start speaking. I was wondering if this was common in children of deaf parents? Or does anyone know anything about this? I do know this may be selective mutism but I'd like to know more... Thanks..
 
I am no expert, but there's one little addition:

In situations like these, make sure he is sufficiently rewarded for his effort when he finally makes sounds.

I remember when I was little, I was discouraged from speaking when people tried to constantly correct me on sounds I made "No, no" and the like, so some tutors simply learned to encourage me regardless of how bad I was, and remembered to reward me when I did a good job. But that's well past J.K. though.

Make sure your son doesn't hate the J.K. teacher. There's a possibility that specific mannerisms of the J.K. teacher is so different from the mom and dad, that your son is so frightened of the J.K. teacher and refuses to speak. Or maybe the son is so scared of the other kids. If your son has a history of being constantly scared of strangers, then you may need to research on these "side-matters" because another problem may be at hand, that needs to be solved before encouraging the son to speak.

One way is to ease him into strangers by going to kid-meets of sorts with other parents, and "ease" him into stranger kids in smaller groups, in precense of comforting parents, before he goes to J.K. Sometimes J.K. is just too much and there needs to be a step before J.K. for certain people. Can be as simple as a neighbourhood meet of 4 or 5, or perhaps a parents-day at the daycare center, or something else....where parents are with their kids, and the groups are smaller than a J.K.

If your son is comfortable with strangers (i.e. loves to play with other kids he doesn't know) then that might not be the problem, but it bears worth mentioning...

(Profound deaf here.)
 
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Thanks for the advice.. My son can speak just fine for his age because his dad is hearing and he sees his grandparents (my parents) often and they all speak to him and he can speak on his age level. I think it's probably what you said. Fears of strangers. Ever since he was a baby he refused to let anyone touch him except for me, his dad, his grandparents. That was it. I had a hard time getting a babysitter because he would freak out. It took my bestfriend a long time to get closer to my son. When my daughter was born, he would freak out if anyone holds her. He would get really mad if a stranger held her. He will speak with other kids IF he hangs out with them long enough to know them well enough. When he wants to join an activity, I would sign him up but when we show up, he would freak out because there's usually too many kids. Now I realize that is probably his problem and I will bring it up to his teacher and see if she has any suggestions and I will definitely suggest that reward idea to her. See if it would help him break the ice.

I do know he doesn't hate his teacher. He tells me that he likes her and he smiles when he sees her. I think maybe it's just the large crowd of kids.
 
I agree with Mark there....


Your son could be shy around strangers....that's could be reason why hes not speaking...It could be anything really....I :dunno:
 
Mark Rejhon said:
I am no expert, but there's one little addition:

In situations like these, make sure he is sufficiently rewarded for his effort when he finally makes sounds.

I remember when I was little, I was discouraged from speaking when people tried to constantly correct me on sounds I made "No, no" and the like, so some tutors simply learned to encourage me regardless of how bad I was, and remembered to reward me when I did a good job. But that's well past J.K. though.

Make sure your son doesn't hate the J.K. teacher. There's a possibility that specific mannerisms of the J.K. teacher is so different from the mom and dad, that your son is so frightened of the J.K. teacher and refuses to speak. Or maybe the son is so scared of the other kids. If your son has a history of being constantly scared of strangers, then you may need to research on these "side-matters" because another problem may be at hand, that needs to be solved before encouraging the son to speak.

One way is to ease him into strangers by going to kid-meets of sorts with other parents, and "ease" him into stranger kids in smaller groups, in precense of comforting parents, before he goes to J.K. Sometimes J.K. is just too much and there needs to be a step before J.K. for certain people. Can be as simple as a neighbourhood meet of 4 or 5, or perhaps a parents-day at the daycare center, or something else....where parents are with their kids, and the groups are smaller than a J.K.

If your son is comfortable with strangers (i.e. loves to play with other kids he doesn't know) then that might not be the problem, but it bears worth mentioning...

(Profound deaf here.)
Click to expand...
:werd: You took the words right out my mouth!

Yes, there are times when teachers can be bad... and the parents never know what's going on. There have been cases where kids complain about their teachers. The parents will hear it and just think that it's cuz the kid hates school.
 
Hmm, how old is your son? I think he is just shy and doesn't want to speak only when he wants to. My son is 3 yr old, he can speak very well and if he don't know who those people, he won't speak because he was shy and not comfortable, didn't want to speak because he don't know who that person or whatever until he feels comfortable around them then he'd speak. He just started school last Jan. 5th, he enrolled at Head Start. I asked them how my son is doing at school, etc..Teacher said he have spoken some words and sign language as well now he has been talking more since he now feels more comfortable at school and has made some new friends. He really loves going to school and look forward to it to ride in the bus and go to school. So, I'm glad all worked out good. I think you would probably need to attend his school, tell your son to talk to them, make him feel comfortable, etc.
 
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