Someone made a huge accusation against me

katz4life

katz4life

New Member
Joined
Nov 14, 2003
Messages
1,642
Reaction score
1
Hi, I know that I haven't come to AD much lately. Well, I wanted to express what happened earlier this afternoon and how much hurt and in a puzzled state of upsetting I'm feeling. My partner's family are all hearing except one. "Someone" is my longtime partner's sister-in-law who is hearing, so is his brother. His brother has been since blocked me and hasn't been in positively speaking/contacting terms with me lately. His sister-in-law just blocked me too as well. Let me explain...the whole point is what has been going on, I have nothing against them and of course I don't have any problems with them since 7 years after we both first met. First of all, in late of 2010 I believe, his brother had made the statements accusing me for hating ALL 'hearing' people. Because he had been reading the way I posted my status from time to time on facebook negativity issue on hearing people to which I should have referred of 'audists' or 'oppressers' of deaf people I was facing in my life. That was AND is never meant for me to be against ''ALL'' hearies. I don't know why his brother kept saying that to me whenever he saw me posting in regards of hearing people I had problems with. In using of a word "all" sounded too exaggerating and too far. So he decided to block me for good just because of that. I tried to explain and he won't take it and did not want to listen. Now my partner's sister-in-law just have done the same thing earlier this afternoon. She made the exact same accusation against me as her husband did. She said I hate all hearing people, meaning I hate my own family, best friends, cousins, my dear hearing friends?? That really hurt me....i am so devastated by her false/mistaken perceptions and thinking. She jumped to the wrong conclusion....big time. I was in shock disbelief....my partner had made the status post on his FB discussion about Celebrity Apprentice players George Takei vs. Lou Ferrigno. Others posted and I posted my opinion be whether it or not negative or postive it does not matter as long as I don't talk shit about his family or friends. I just posted expressing some facts about Lou's background, something about may be possible or maybe not audist filmakers, producers who picked him to play a Hulk character that cannot speak, and other person commented under my partner's status asked me questions I was gladly to explain further information and opinion and my personal experince meeting Lou Ferrigno and my own feelings. But moments later, I felt that my posts needed to be deleted, never know if others might show up posting and causing problems or disagreements. So I was about to remove my posts in a little hurriedly way, it just happened so fast his sister-in-law went in and JUMPED over the conclusion commenting that I am PREDJUICE against ALL hearing people!! I saw it and was speechless at first...and she also posted that she was sick and tired of reading my status every time complaining about hearing people she said it offended her. I then tried to explain to her, trying to make sense with her. She seems misunderstood or did not take my words...I asked her why does that suppose to mean that I hate my own family, close friends and acquaintancs who just happen to be hearing just like her. I told her she is wrong to say like that for me...she told me to watch out what I say about hearing people. She decided to shut me out and completely bashed on me on my Facebook wall and my status. I was suddenly in tears. Of course, I deleted her post on my FB wall quickly to avoid embarrasment. Although I still have email notifications of her whole statements kept in my email inbox. For one I never made anything negative about them, it is not fair and does not make any sense for them to say such awful things that about me which is NOT TRUE!! How can I hate my family (in fact I am not along with few relatives for some reason BUT it has NOTHING to do with their hearing status or has nothing to do with audism!!) best friends, acquaints just because they are hearing? My negative comments about hearing people is only the specific people or person or society who don't accept deaf people. I never meant all in the world, no way. She misunderstood me. Maybe I did not make clear enough of English that I am lack in, I am not very good in creative carefully thinking in English words to make a comment. Both of them seems did not believe that I do have hearing friends. Now I recently realized....since the past nearly 7 years, we had been hanging out mostly was over at their house we didn't go out anywhere else such as dining out together, shopping, movies, travel, a play, bowling alley, etc. We only had gone out together at special event for the biggest Halloween parties at bar and family event occassions at my partner's Grandmother's house, grandmother's bday party, and two or three times over his sister-in-law's parents house for Thanksgiving and X-mas dinner. I realized that I didn't have any hearing friend to bring with me at special events at bars where they had to meet me and my partner or even at their home before. I do have a few hearing friends in Buffalo but I am not kind of close to them...just more like acquaintances from my alma mater college, former workplace, tattoo shop, a friend's friend. I rarely go to bars and bowling alley to meet some hearing people that I know and have a chat and hang out with them even though they don't know ASL or know a very little of sign language when his brother and sis-in-law were not there to see me with them. So that also because I mostly or almost always (it seems, yes) spend time going out at most events with d/Deaf friends that my partner's brother and sis-in-law happened to see me with them. None was hearing that they had ever seen me with. Most of my close hearing friends live in Long Island, NYC, some of them lives in different states due to that they moved out for a new life, job, family, etc. They (his brother and sis-in-law) never visited my family home here in LI. Yes, they have not met anyone in my family yet either.

I tried to send a message to her but she blocked me....what am I supposed to do about it? His brother and sis-in-law are practically my family. I just remembered that my partner told me few weeks ago his sis-in-law enjoys watching Switched By Birth tv shows....I don't really watch that show for some reason but I do admit I just saw a few episodes on hulu.com....one of the episodes, a scene of Emmett and Bay sitting outside at the school at nighttime...i saw that Bay asked him what's wrong? Emmett confessed to her, that he hates hearing people. Now I wonder if my partner's sis-in-law has seen it...if she does not like it which may have offended her then wwhhhhhhyyyyyyy she continues to watch that show then?? i'm fucking frustated with both of them (his brother and sis in law) I have thought about calling her phone number (i just found her phone number on whitepages.com directory) but i feel that there would be a problem if i call her, things will have gotten worse perhaps bashing up on me via relay operator in ASL and hung up on me...i know that I hate to depend on someone who is hearing who could speak up vocally on the phone to her making her listen and make sense with them and apology. I cannot have my partner's brother and sis-in-law against me over stupid silly nonsense about my offensive deaf vs. 'hearing' issues they don't want to deal with. Issues such like that have nothing to do with them. Why don't they let it alone??
 
Last edited:
I am really sorry about what happened. :( Only if they can understand your POV... I am not sure if I can help with that... I hope someone can give you some best advice.
 
In addition, I remember noticing her FB status from time to time before she blocked me today, she did post negative and complained negatively, talking shit about his own brother, my brother's youngest brother's girlfriend who just have a baby, and her work (she is a nurse at the the hospital) and some stuff about other people in general. Did I bash on her about it? Never. I read her negative posts regarding of others such politics, at work, some relatives, stuff in general. I read and just said nothing...just leave it alone. It is her business to express anything she wishes to post. Why does she bash me regarding my posts that have offended her but it is not about her? I ask the same question for her husband. Sigh....
 
And yeah, they are both hearing so they have said I hate all hearing people. Um, hello if I were then I would not have hanging out with them, visiting them, and chatting with them. What the fuck is that in their mind.
 
Well ... You certainly have a lot to say. My first response would be in regards to how you posted the statements on FB. If your posts were consistently talking about audism and were negative about hearing people, I could understand how a hearing person would think that you hated all hearing people.

I block people that use a lot of profanity in their posts, only because I have underage neices, nephews and etc. That I do not feel comfortable having them exposed to those types of posts on my wall when they read my FB account.

It isn't anything personal against them, it is just a choice I made as to what I want my family exposed to.
 
As matter of fact, both of them seems to be only people that has blocked me over the issue i posted and the rest of other hearing people on my facebook friends list do not. What's up with that, huh? Strange.
 
katz4life said:
As matter of fact, both of them seems to be only people that has blocked me over the issue i posted and the rest of other hearing people on my facebook friends list do not. What's up with that, huh? Strange.
Click to expand...

Why don't you invite them to dinner and discuss in person?
 
Um, I live 8 hours away from them at the moment. I have not seen them in person since late 2010.
 
I don't think they are interested to see me....I just feel that way. Sigh.
 
I know you can be quite abrasive and outspoken so you might to either tone it down and make a careful constructive posts about your view or keep it separate accounts - business and personal.

I also know you've got a strong view on deaf issues to the point where it's sounds like you're an activist. Being an activist for the good is noble and brave but it comes with cost. It usually affects mainly those who are close to you because of their differing views. so you have to decide for yourself - which one comes first? Your loved ones or deaf activism.
 
i feel comfortable to have an ASL interpreter with me for family discussion. My partner's sis-in-law does not fare well in understanding ASL. His brother is little less than average fluent in ASL and normal fluent in fingerspelling. But they easily misunderstood when i spoke to them in ASL at times. We basically use some home sign language, gestures, body languages, fingerspelling at normal speed, for sis-in-law I have to slow speed fingerspelling. It is good for small and flexible conversation. But for long and serious discussion, it's a lot of work....well.
 
Jiro said:
I know you can be quite abrasive and outspoken
Click to expand...

that is what is so awesome about her
kdubbd.gif
 
I really want her and her husband to read this since AD is open for public. Hmmm.
 
C.C.Sinned said:
that is what is so awesome about her
kdubbd.gif
Click to expand...

Eh, hi Dennis. I am surprised you are around here...it's been a long time. How are you? Are you saying you have read my posts....here? I know you are not on my FB list...hmm.
 
Jiro, and oh, I have reduced my posting rants over hearing audists on FB since within a year.
 
Jiro said:
I know you can be quite abrasive and outspoken so you might to either tone it down and make a careful constructive posts about your view or keep it separate accounts - business and personal.

I also know you've got a strong view on deaf issues to the point where it's sounds like you're an activist. Being an activist for the good is noble and brave but it comes with cost. It usually affects mainly those who are close to you because of their differing views. so you have to decide for yourself - which one comes first? Your loved ones or deaf activism.
Click to expand...

I have never thought of myself as a Deaf activist..i'm just more like a supporter.
 
katz4life said:
Eh, hi Dennis. I am surprised you are around here...it's been a long time. How are you? Are you saying you have read my posts....here? I know you are not on my FB list...hmm.
Click to expand...

:wave: just returned a short while ago. I know your personality from other sites
winker.gif
 
Back
Top