Second Chance

[shel90]

The idea of NOT signing is so completely foreign to me. I can't imagine a parent would not want to do everything the can to communicate with their kid. I can't even fathom HOW you'd raise a child with no communication method.

I have some family members who are extremely resistant to learn sign, even basic single signs. They want to rely on me or my other child to interpret for them but I won't have it. I will show them the sign and tell them to talk to her themselves. I've already made it plainly clear that if they can not learn enough to care for her there will be no solo visits/sleepovers with either of the girls. I don't expect fluency... they just need to be able to communicate the basics and understand what she's trying to say.

I understand wanting speech for your child, but, as the Rolling Stones said, "You can't always get what you want."

Wow! If only more parents of deaf children were like you. The children need people to advocate for them.

 

[Tousi]

Spot on message, there, WeeBeastie!

 

[Lighthouse77]

The idea of NOT signing is so completely foreign to me. I can't imagine a parent would not want to do everything the can to communicate with their kid. I can't even fathom HOW you'd raise a child with no communication method.

I have some family members who are extremely resistant to learn sign, even basic single signs. They want to rely on me or my other child to interpret for them but I won't have it. I will show them the sign and tell them to talk to her themselves. I've already made it plainly clear that if they can not learn enough to care for her there will be no solo visits/sleepovers with either of the girls. I don't expect fluency... they just need to be able to communicate the basics and understand what she's trying to say.

I understand wanting speech for your child, but, as the Rolling Stones said, "You can't always get what you want."

Well, in my mom case, she thought My sister and I wouldn't need it because she felt hearing aids and speech therapy would take care of communication issues. Because we were severe hard-of-hearing in both ears, We were communicating with her ok with the help of hearing aids but it was very hard. I am not profound deaf but it sure does sound like I am without my hearing aids. I am not sure how many people understand what it is like to be severe hard of hearing who depend on hearing aids without sign languages. it seem to me that most people here are profound deaf I can see how difficult it is to communicate with very little sounds. but for me, I had alot access to sounds from my hearing aids, but I just can't make out the words because of the softer sounds (I don't have auditory process disorder because I can pick up words if I can hear it clearly like "Dad")

But that's what happen when my mother depend on technologies too much to solve all her problems.

 

[KristinaB]

Can someone post a summary of the video? (I realize 19 min is a bit long to transcribe.)

The basic gist that I got and I don't know much ASL, is a story about a girl, her teacher and family. The family at first does not want to consider learing sign for the one deaf daughter, they also have a hearing daughter. During a parent/teacher meeting, the mother walked out due to frustration with whatever was going on. There was an interpreter for the teacher and mother, but mother still just gave up and walked out. The deaf child was playing in her yard and saw a couple signing as they walked down the sidewalk and the deaf child went to follow, the mother storms out and forces the child back into the house and says she cannot play outside as it is not safe since she can't hear. The deaf child grows up and has little patience or love for her family as they do not try to include her in their conversations and they do not try to learn sign. After a while, the deaf daughter runs away because her family does not support her. That is a wake-up call for the mother. She goes to the teacher and with in interpreter finally realizes what she could have done to avoid this whole fiasco and signs up for ASL classes. The daef daughter comes back home and obviously mother cpontines with the classes and after a while, mother goes into the room to see deaf daughter, daughter kind of "sneers" and mother starts signing to daughter and all goes well. Mother and deaf daughter are seen going around town together and to all kinds of places and communicating with each other and not needing any interpreters.

The story starts with the teacher introducing the mother at some class in the school with other parents, as the mother goes up to tell her story, we see her memories which is the basis of the 19 minutes of video. At the end, the mother is able to tell her story and receives the waving hands appluase from the group.

** Somebody, please correct me if I've gotten something wrong. I am going by memory (I watched it yesterday) and not understanding 90% of the signing. Thanks**

 

[LuciaDisturbed]

That part was what made me saddest. I couldn't have a bike or do any of the really fun things as I might get hurt.

Of course then at 18 they dumped me in a group home, so I have always felt it was a false concern.

(Might be why I am a little weird.)

That's horrible!

And I don't think you are weird.

 

[faire_jour]

The idea of NOT signing is so completely foreign to me. I can't imagine a parent would not want to do everything the can to communicate with their kid. I can't even fathom HOW you'd raise a child with no communication method.

I have some family members who are extremely resistant to learn sign, even basic single signs. They want to rely on me or my other child to interpret for them but I won't have it. I will show them the sign and tell them to talk to her themselves. I've already made it plainly clear that if they can not learn enough to care for her there will be no solo visits/sleepovers with either of the girls. I don't expect fluency... they just need to be able to communicate the basics and understand what she's trying to say.

I understand wanting speech for your child, but, as the Rolling Stones said, "You can't always get what you want."

I also chose to use ASL with my Deaf child, but not everyone does. Just because you don't sign does NOT mean that you are not communicating, or that your child does not have language.

Just because someone chooses a different method of communication than you and I did does not mean that they have "no communication method".

 

[shel90]

I also chose to use ASL with my Deaf child, but not everyone does. Just because you don't sign does NOT mean that you are not communicating, or that your child does not have language.

Just because someone chooses a different method of communication than you and I did does not mean that they have "no communication method".

But there are too many deaf children out there in that girls' shoes with their families. Even deaf adults too. It doesnt make it right.

 

[Lighthouse77]

I also chose to use ASL with my Deaf child, but not everyone does. Just because you don't sign does NOT mean that you are not communicating, or that your child does not have language.

Just because someone chooses a different method of communication than you and I did does not mean that they have "no communication method".

that what my mama thought too, apparently. She really thought she had a clear communication with us, but she was wrong. Both my sister (who is severe hard of hearing like me) and I feel the same thing.. that she should have learned sign languages.

 

[Lighthouse77]

Every day I see more people with some degree of severe hearing loss like me coming to this board. I think it is because they are having trouble fitting in the hearing world and is seeking a place where they can fit in. Hearing aids give people false hope that they can communicate fine without ASL.

 

[shel90]

Every day I see more people with some degree of severe hearing loss like me coming to this board. I think it is because they are having trouble fitting in the hearing world and is seeking a place where they can fit in. Hearing aids give people false hope that they can communicate fine without ASL.

Yes, that is why no matter what anyone says, it is still happening and why? For the sake to fit in the hearing world?

 

[WeeBeastie]

I also chose to use ASL with my Deaf child, but not everyone does. Just because you don't sign does NOT mean that you are not communicating, or that your child does not have language.

Just because someone chooses a different method of communication than you and I did does not mean that they have "no communication method".

I did not specify ASL in my previous post. ANY sign system is better than none when spoken language is not an option. While we chose, and prefer, ASL, I know it's not the only option available.

Out of curiosity, what are the other options? If your otherwise typical deaf child can not speak or process a spoken language and a signing system is not used, what's left? Sure, they'll learn written language later, but that doesn't help when your preliterate 2 year-old is freaking out all over the kitchen floor and can't tell you why because there no way to tell you.

 

[Lighthouse77]

I did not specify ASL in my previous post. ANY sign system is better than none when spoken language is not an option. While we chose, and prefer, ASL, I know it's not the only option available.

Out of curiosity, what are the other options? If your otherwise typical deaf child can not speak or process a spoken language and a signing system is not used, what's left? Sure, they'll learn written language later, but that doesn't help when your preliterate 2 year-old is freaking out all over the kitchen floor and can't tell you why because there no way to tell you.

I don't think it is all that great for people to depend on written language as a form of communication. I've been doing it LONG enough.

you know why I love fiction books? because I feel I'm there.. and I don't feel lonely anymore.

 

[Bottesini]

That's horrible!

And I don't think you are weird.

Thanks, Lucia.

 

[shel90]

I did not specify ASL in my previous post. ANY sign system is better than none when spoken language is not an option. While we chose, and prefer, ASL, I know it's not the only option available.

Out of curiosity, what are the other options? If your otherwise typical deaf child can not speak or process a spoken language and a signing system is not used, what's left? Sure, they'll learn written language later, but that doesn't help when your preliterate 2 year-old is freaking out all over the kitchen floor and can't tell you why because there no way to tell you.

If a deaf child cnat speak nor process a spoken language and doesnt have a signing system, the deaf child is left without a language and will not be able to acquire literacy skills. That's why it is important for them to acquire sign language and then acquire speaking/writing skills later because if they are expected to acquire language through the spoken form and later on, they arent on par for their age level and then switch to sign language, it would be too late. As a result, developing literacy skills become extremely difficult if not impossible. I have seen it year after year with the students I work with. It makes me so angry.

 

[cope]

I did not like these parents in the video but AT LEAST they had ASL for their daughter. I think if anything this make me want to learn ASL even more. I think anyone deaf should study ASL. Yes there are other signs and yes maybe you can do audio but some CAN NOT so I think it is important to learn for the sake of the people you might meet. So I strongly advise yes you child might do fine with CI or HA, might even catch up to hearing children or adults and never need it BUT even in best case scenario where they will never lose their hearing again, but for other deaf this might not be the case and you should want to communicate with other people who are deaf.

This is why I am motivated even more to become fluent in ASL. I am hearing yes and I may never be deaf. I can speak English and hear it. I can also can hear any other language and Learn ANY language I want if I put the time in. I have a choice. Deafies do not have a choice to get their hearing back or choice to start speaking or hearing, so I must learn sign. There is no reason why NOT to learn ASL that I can think of.

 

[shel90]

I did not like these parents in the video but AT LEAST they had ASL for their daughter. I think if anything this make me want to learn ASL even more. I think anyone deaf should study ASL. Yes there are other signs and yes maybe you can do audio but some CAN NOT so I think it is important to learn for the sake of the people you might meet. So I strongly advise yes you child might do fine with CI or HA, might even catch up to hearing children or adults and never need it BUT even in best case scenario where they will never lose their hearing again, but for other deaf this might not be the case and you should want to communicate with other people who are deaf.

This is why I am motivated even more to become fluent in ASL. I am hearing yes and I may never be deaf. I can speak English and hear it. I can also can hear any other language and Learn ANY language I want if I put the time in. I have a choice. Deafies do not have a choice to get their hearing back or choice to start speaking or hearing, so I must learn sign. There is no reason why NOT to learn ASL that I can think of.

Just a FYI..Deaf people can learn any spoken languages even if they aren't orally skilled. Many here on AD are proof of that.

Other than that, great posting.

 

[cope]

Just a FYI..Deaf people can learn any spoken languages even if they aren't orally skilled.

I know, in fact I have a deaf friend learning Spanish right now I guess I meant deafies can not "choose" to hear. Where as a hearie can "choose" to hear or speak any language including ASL. I can choose to learn ASL but deafies can not choose to hear. I hope that sounds clearer, I think I am even confusing myself trying to explain I just think since deaf people do not have a choice, it is then my obligation to learn and I have no problem with that. In fact I think it should be mandatory that hearing students at least take one ASL class in HS. I don't like the idea of forcing anyone to learn or even do anything that they do not want to but I think for ASL it might be a good idea. At least have the fundamentals down. This way even if they choose not to pursue ASL in the future and remember absolutely no ASL, that they have been exposed to deaf culture in some way so that they can at least remember how to act and have common courtesy for when they bump into someone deaf years down the road.

 

[shel90]

I know, in fact I have a deaf friend learning Spanish right now I guess I meant deafies can not "choose" to hear. Where as a hearie can "choose" to hear or speak any language including ASL. I can choose to learn ASL but deafies can not choose to hear. I hope that sounds clearer, I think I am even confusing myself trying to explain I just think since deaf people do not have a choice, it is then my obligation to learn and I have no problem with that. In fact I think it should be mandatory that hearing students at least take one ASL class in HS. I don't like the idea of forcing anyone to learn or even do anything that they do not want to but I think for ASL it might be a good idea. At least have the fundamentals down. This way even if they choose not to pursue ASL in the future and remember absolutely no ASL, that they have been exposed to deaf culture in some way so that they can at least remember how to act and have common courtesy for when they bump into someone deaf years down the road.

Gotcha..makes sense.

 

[cope]

Hehe Ty Shel
I know sometimes I have a habit of typing way to much just to get simple posts across. Many of mine are too long winded I think. haha

 

[CJB]

The basic gist that I got and I don't know much ASL, is a story about a girl, her teacher and family. The family at first does not want to consider learing sign for the one deaf daughter, they also have a hearing daughter. During a parent/teacher meeting, the mother walked out due to frustration with whatever was going on. There was an interpreter for the teacher and mother, but mother still just gave up and walked out. The deaf child was playing in her yard and saw a couple signing as they walked down the sidewalk and the deaf child went to follow, the mother storms out and forces the child back into the house and says she cannot play outside as it is not safe since she can't hear. The deaf child grows up and has little patience or love for her family as they do not try to include her in their conversations and they do not try to learn sign. After a while, the deaf daughter runs away because her family does not support her. That is a wake-up call for the mother. She goes to the teacher and with in interpreter finally realizes what she could have done to avoid this whole fiasco and signs up for ASL classes. The daef daughter comes back home and obviously mother cpontines with the classes and after a while, mother goes into the room to see deaf daughter, daughter kind of "sneers" and mother starts signing to daughter and all goes well. Mother and deaf daughter are seen going around town together and to all kinds of places and communicating with each other and not needing any interpreters.

The story starts with the teacher introducing the mother at some class in the school with other parents, as the mother goes up to tell her story, we see her memories which is the basis of the 19 minutes of video. At the end, the mother is able to tell her story and receives the waving hands appluase from the group.

** Somebody, please correct me if I've gotten something wrong. I am going by memory (I watched it yesterday) and not understanding 90% of the signing. Thanks**

Thanks so much KristinaB! Wow, I'm glad her mother finally caught on and started picking up ASL. I can't understand how parents can live with themselves if they can't communicate with their own children. But I'm glad at least this mother came around.

for the transcription.