deafbajagal
New Member
- Joined
- Nov 6, 2007
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Have you ever seen that funny movie "Groundhog Day?" The guy wakes up every morning and it's the same thing. It's a cute movie.
It isn't cute if it happens to you in real life...and what happens over and over isn't a good thing.
I have PTSD. I don't like admitting I suffer from it, much less talking about it. Due to not one but several severe traumatic experiences throughout my life, I suffer from the side effects of PTSD. Little things trigger it - sometimes I don't even know what causes the trigger. Certain objects, movements, words, and even smell can send me back to a dark place instantly. Sometimes I get trapped in the darkness that I forget that it's all over and I'm just having a flashback.
Nights are the worst, especially if I'm alone in bed. Vulnerable and insecure, I'm often afraid to sleep for two reasons: reoccuring nightmares, and the possibility of something happening again.
Sometimes a slight flashback will make me feel angry that I lash out at anyone near me. Then I want to shut everyone out...to stew in my cave, with the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. The fear I feel torments every fiber of my being.
I'm good at coping, but lately my coping mechanisms seem to be weak. Perhaps it's the stress of some things I've had to deal with lately, added to the fuel of keeping PTSD at bay.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I fear when I get sucked in the dark places - I won't find the light to get back.
It isn't cute if it happens to you in real life...and what happens over and over isn't a good thing.
I have PTSD. I don't like admitting I suffer from it, much less talking about it. Due to not one but several severe traumatic experiences throughout my life, I suffer from the side effects of PTSD. Little things trigger it - sometimes I don't even know what causes the trigger. Certain objects, movements, words, and even smell can send me back to a dark place instantly. Sometimes I get trapped in the darkness that I forget that it's all over and I'm just having a flashback.
Nights are the worst, especially if I'm alone in bed. Vulnerable and insecure, I'm often afraid to sleep for two reasons: reoccuring nightmares, and the possibility of something happening again.
Sometimes a slight flashback will make me feel angry that I lash out at anyone near me. Then I want to shut everyone out...to stew in my cave, with the overwhelming feeling of hopelessness. The fear I feel torments every fiber of my being.
I'm good at coping, but lately my coping mechanisms seem to be weak. Perhaps it's the stress of some things I've had to deal with lately, added to the fuel of keeping PTSD at bay.
Sometimes, just sometimes, I fear when I get sucked in the dark places - I won't find the light to get back.
