Raising Children

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Byrdie714

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This thread is for parents who wants ideas on how to better raise their children.

Discipline, rewards, etc.

Just remember that if it works for one family it doesn't mean that it will work on other families....

With that--discuss away.
 
Byrdie714 said:
This thread is for parents who wants ideas on how to better raise their children.

Discipline, rewards, etc.

Just remember that if it works for one family it doesn't mean that it will work on other families....

With that--discuss away.
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Indeed, There are different ways/methods as to how to raise children. It also goes along with the age of the child/children. What may work for the younger child also may not work for the older child.

What I do is use the reward system. For instance if my kids behaves well during the weekdays at school and does their homework/chores on a timely manner, They get to have the option to either pick out a DVD of their choice or a small toy. Allowances are always a good start because it motivates them to do things.
 
I see nothing wrong with rewarding a child for good behavior. Money or a special treat. Along with praises lots of smiles.

When they are in the wrong I take away their favorite toy or ground them. I do this along with talking to them explaining to them why they are in trouble and how they can do better. Then as they do better I will reward them by giving them their toys back and let them off restriction.
 
I see nothing wrong with rewarding a child for good behavior and doing their chores. Money or a special treat. Along with praises lots of smiles.

When they are in the wrong I take away their favorite toy or ground them. I do this along with talking to them explaining to them why they are in trouble and how they can do better. Then as they do better I will reward them by giving them their toys back and let them off restriction.
 
Babyblue said:
I see nothing wrong with rewarding a child for good behavior and doing their chores. Money or a special treat. Along with praises lots of smiles.

When they are in the wrong I take away their favorite toy or ground them. I do this along with talking to them explaining to them why they are in trouble and how they can do better. Then as they do better I will reward them by giving them their toys back and let them off restriction.
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Actually, because I think there's so many ways in which to reward children, that I take exception to rewarding them for chores done. Doing chores teaches them something else: It is a community (family) thing and is expected without rewarding; this helps to begin to instill a sense of responsibility, organization, etc, and an expectation without saying.....
 
There is a difference between a bribe and a reward. I don't have a problem with rewarding, I have a problem with bribery. A reward is what is earned, a bribery is not. Bribery is a pay off to someone to do something for you. You cannot brib a child to stop crying, or behave or etc. Any professional would tell you this. Because in a long run, you'll be trapped into bribery, a child would want more which meaning more money and bigger prizes. That would not teach any child respect or responsibilities.
 
I have made mistakes and I know I'm not perfect like some people there were times I would do anything to get my kids to behave so I guess that makes me a bad mother .
 
Pepsi said:
I have made mistakes and I know I'm not perfect like some people there were times I would do anything to get my kids to behave so I guess that makes me a bad mother .
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What do you mean? Are you talking about bribery? if so, it doesn't make you a bad mother, children listen when you bribe them, I know and I believe it. It just not a good way to teach kids about respect, You just gonna have to show them who's the boss, don't let kids take advantage of you. ;) You're a good mother you know why? You raised those kids, and they're healthy, that's all it matters, nothing else matters anymore. ;)
 
Cheri said:
What do you mean? Are you talking about bribery? if so, it doesn't make you a bad mother, children listen when you bribe them, I know and I believe it. It just not a good way to teach kids about respect, You just gonna have to show them who's the boss, don't let kids take advantage of you. ;) You're a good mother you know why? You raised those kids, and they're healthy, that's all it matters, nothing else matters anymore. ;)
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I think we have a different definition of bribery....

Now--I didn't "bribe" her all the time. I made the connection in the grocery store when she was throwing her tantrum. I just pulled out my wallet because I was getting ready to grab her and go back home. Then she stopped. I still didn't reward her.

The next trip to the grocery store-we had a talk about how she was to behave and a chore. I gave her a little grocery list of what we needed since the grocery store also had "kiddie carts". I also told her that she would be monetary paid for the chore. She got praised for good behavior.

Anyway--I find it that if you are going to the grocery store--make a list for the kids as well as it keeps them occupied and we actually had fun doing it! :)
 
Byrdie714 said:
Anyway--I find it that if you are going to the grocery store--make a list for the kids as well as it keeps them occupied and we actually had fun doing it! :)
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Yea it does, that's what I do with my little one, he has to bring one morning snack to school daily and I let him pick out his own snacks at the grocery store, he likes doing that. :lol:
 
Cheri said:
Yea it does, that's what I do with my little one, he has to bring one morning snack to school daily and I let him pick out his own snacks at the grocery store, he likes doing that. :lol:
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Ally would insist on buying something from her little stash of cash> When she realizes she can't buy it--she learned how to make do with her 2nd or 3rd choice. She learned the value of the dollar.

I think I was raising her to be a little capitalist! :lol: Oh well....
 
I remember when I had my 4 children livin' with me at that time they all were in their teen ages. I took them all 4 to the store to get their new clothes for school. They picked out what they want. Each of them get $ 100 for clothings. I kept an eye on each one of them to be sure that they added the prices for each clothin' they had picked - not over $ 100 otherwise they'll have to take one or 2 to put 'em back. I taught them doin' this at the age of 12. Now, they all love shoppin', except my son. :giggle:
 
Maria said:
I remember when I had my 4 children livin' with me at that time they all were in their teen ages. I took them all 4 to the store to get their new clothes for school. They picked out what they want. Each of them get $ 100 for clothings. I kept an eye on each one of them to be sure that they added the prices for each clothin' they had picked - not over $ 100 otherwise they'll have to take one or 2 to put 'em back. I taught them doin' this at the age of 12. Now, they all love shoppin', EXCEPT MY SON. :giggle:
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That's cuz you only allowed him 50.00 on that clothes shopping trip! :lol: *ducking*
 
Cheri said:
There is a difference between a bribe and a reward. I don't have a problem with rewarding, I have a problem with bribery. A reward is what is earned, a bribery is not. Bribery is a pay off to someone to do something for you. You cannot brib a child to stop crying, or behave or etc. Any professional would tell you this. Because in a long run, you'll be trapped into bribery, a child would want more which meaning more money and bigger prizes. That would not teach any child respect or responsibilities.
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Have to agree with you on this, Cheri. Children are a member of a family, and therefore, need to be taught that a family functions by all members making a contribution. That is how they learn responsibility. I don't believe in rewarding children for contributing to the family by doing assigned chores, etc. They should be rewarded for going above and beyond what is expected of them. Likewise, bribing a child into good behavior only teaches them that we expect them to be bad, and will gladly pay them for being good because we don't expect them to be good.
 
jillio said:
Have to agree with you on this, Cheri. Children are a member of a family, and therefore, need to be taught that a family functions by all members making a contribution. That is how they learn responsibility. I don't believe in rewarding children for contributing to the family by doing assigned chores, etc. They should be rewarded for going above and beyond what is expected of them. Likewise, bribing a child into good behavior only teaches them that we expect them to be bad, and will gladly pay them for being good because we don't expect them to be good.
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Kinda sounds like what I said at #5. Where ya been?
 
Cheri said:
What do you mean? Are you talking about bribery? if so, it doesn't make you a bad mother, children listen when you bribe them, I know and I believe it. It just not a good way to teach kids about respect, You just gonna have to show them who's the boss, don't let kids take advantage of you. ;) You're a good mother you know why? You raised those kids, and they're healthy, that's all it matters, nothing else matters anymore. ;)
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Thanks,Cheri well there were times that I didn't want to deal with things like when they were little and we would be at the store and they would act up I will buy them something just to keep them behaved.
 
Byrdie714 said:
This thread is for parents who wants ideas on how to better raise their children.

Discipline, rewards, etc.

Just remember that if it works for one family it doesn't mean that it will work on other families....

With that--discuss away.
Click to expand...

Right on! I am tired of some of people being judge on me about being mother with kid.. Like when my son was like 6 months old, we rode on the train to see my dad. Stranger woman came to me and telling me that pacifier is bad for kids. I was like umm ok thanks for telling me. And also, when we went to my school to watch the volleyball games recently. I brought the Mcdonalds for my kid to eat for dinner during volleyball games. My old ex bf walked by and said "you are bad mother, he eat mcdonalds! Not good for his healthy."..Front of some of people. It embarrassed me. I was like huh he don't eat mcdonalds everyday. Ugh. He's always been jerk to me about my kid. By the way, he's not father of my baby's.

Also, I did used the powder on my kid for changing the diaper. Someone said "Don't need powder cuz I never use it for my kids."..to me. I was like ok I don't care. I want my kid to feel so comfortable with smooth inside diaper without feel sticky after wipe ya kno. In my opinion ok.

And so many things that they judged on me.
 
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