questions for parents

[SpiceHD]

1. What age is too old for nursing?

2. How old were kids till they are able to walk without falling down so much? (my friend's son is almost 2 years old and Man! He fall at every 10 steps, makes me wonder if its normal or not?)

3. What age do CODA kids usually starts to pick up on sign language? OR is there even a difference in CODA and DEAF child when it comes to learning sign language?

4.For deaf parent with hearing parent.. will there be a problem on method of communication to teach child? Suppose hearing parent doesnt know sign language at all, what do u think will happens? What SHOULD be happening with hearing parent that doesnt know sign?

5. Deaf parent with hearing parent who can sign language too as well, again will method of communication to be taught to child be a problem?

6. How old should a child starts to go to school?

7. Do parents start to teach school stuff to child before school age? Or is it something they should?

8. Suppose no phone at home, child got in accident, cant drive and no way to contact other parent, what should current parent do?

9. Deaf babysitter with hearing child, what should she or he know about taking care of the hearing child? (at hearing friend's place where no light flashing, etc)

10. How do deaf communicate with hearing child who knows nothing of writing and signs yet?

11. With toddlers who havent learned the morals yet, how do u tell if he or she was being abused physically, mentally, sexually or verbally? (im asking about a child who do not understand that other person shouldnt touch the child's private and thats its wrong to do so... how do u know if that child was being sexually abuse?)

12. What common signs should a parent look for if there should be a problem in a child like behaviors and etc and how do u know the difference of normal kid with bad temper or something else is actually wrong?

okay thats enough for now heh (ofc im a wannabe mother so i want to know everything as much as possible plus the Maury talkshow i watched this morning has inspired me to ask questions because that show was talking about children and how they were victims... poor kids) and i appeciate for the time you took to answer my questions.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

1. What age is too old for nursing?

I’m not sure what you question about. Is what you do mean for toddler to small children? Can you care to give me few examples… Thanks.

Well, I see no difference about the ages – as long as I’m still mother who takes the responsible to take care of my children. Nursing is do with form of discipline – like teach children how to care themselves, wash, brush their teeth, show them things, want me to read them, take care of sick children etc. No matter how old my children are as long as they need me. I am there for them.
Nursing children is also do with form of parent’s love, attention and affection.
I see nothing wrong to fulfilling my children’s wish to have me to stay and chat with them during their bedtimes sometimes. It is about loving relationship between parent and child.

Is it correct what you want to question us? If not, then please correct me..

2. How old were kids till they are able to walk without falling down so much? (my friend's son is almost 2 years old and Man! He fall at every 10 steps, makes me wonder if its normal or not?)

My eldest son started to walk when he was 14 months old and my younger son started to walk when he was 18 months old. I don’t believe to have walker to train them how to walk but they do themselves out of natural.
Remember that each child is different as long as he/she is a happy & health child. As what the pediatrician says the same thing then you do not need to worry about. It’s normal development… Give child time to feel ready to try to walk.

3. What age do CODA kids usually starts to pick up on sign language? OR is there even a difference in CODA and DEAF child when it comes to learning sign language?

I’m mother of 2 boys (12) and (9). They learn from us automatic without teach them. I sign with voice them since they were babies… like hearing parent speak their babies.

4.For deaf parent with hearing parent.. will there be a problem on method of communication to teach child? Suppose hearing parent doesnt know sign language at all, what do u think will happens? What SHOULD be happening with hearing parent that doesnt know sign?

Not really, I have no problem to let my children look how difference between deaf and hearing parents because I expose my children to deaf and hearing world at earlier age. Of course my children began notice how difference when we visited my children’s hearing relatives, also kindergarten, too. I communicate with hearing parents in writing or have them to speak low for me to read. I believe to let the children know what we really are in positive way.

5. Deaf parent with hearing parent who can sign language too as well, again will method of communication to be taught to child be a problem?

No, see above

6. How old should a child starts to go to school?

Kindergarten – 3 to 6 years old
First school - 6 years old.

7. Do parents start to teach school stuff to child before school age? Or is it something they should?

No, I rather not do that because different form of school stuff between parents and teacher would confuse the children. I would rather wait until my children goes their first school and then follow teacher’s example how to teach school stuff to my children which it’s easy for me to help my children with homework and do what the teacher says. All what I believe is the parents and teachers should work together to help children grow and learn.

8. Suppose no phone at home, child got in accident, cant drive and no way to contact other parent, what should current parent do?

I’m sorry that I can’t answer to that question because you must have known that it’s logical for every parents use phone or cell phone for an emergency or run to neighbor when they have children.

9. Deaf babysitter with hearing child, what should she or he know about taking care of the hearing child? (at hearing friend's place where no light flashing, etc)

Sorry I can’t answer because I haven’t any experience like this before. It would be cool when hearing parent trust deaf babysitter… I would love to hear who have an experience like this…

10. How do deaf ? communicate with hearing child who knows nothing of writing and signs yet?

Do you mean deaf parents or deaf children with hearing children? How old children are? I can’t answer yet until I need clarify

11. With toddlers who havent learned the morals yet, how do u tell if he or she was being abused physically, mentally, sexually or verbally? (im asking about a child who do not understand that other person shouldnt touch the child's private and thats its wrong to do so... how do u know if that child was being sexually abuse?)

Red scar on between legs
toddler's odd behavior

12. What common signs should a parent look for if there should be a problem in a child like behaviors and etc and how do u know the difference of normal kid with bad temper or something else is actually wrong?

There're many of abuse forms. I try my best to add few examples here how form of child’s behavior can tell. Each child has different form of emotion how they suffer or not.

Child abuse is not just sexual abuse but physically, emotionally, sexually, neglect, Verbal and more forms of abuses. Form of abuses could be severely damaged on children's self-esteem. Abused children’s behavior show often extremes like this.

Emotional abuse includes constant yelling, threatening, scaring, belittling humiliate, ridiculing or playing games with children's emotions and also make the children feel worthless. It lend children to believe they are bad and worthless, have problem with their future relationships, hard to control their temper/anger, bad mood, sensitive crying, change eating habits, problem behavior at school or towards people, Personality changes, Withdraw, fear to go home, running away, sleeping disturbances, nightmares, criticism, insults etc.

If you doubt which form of abuse as the children are too scare to talk open to them and then get a child to draw and color the flower or whatever because the children’s imaginable and feeling drawing will tell you form of abuse they have.… if they pick grey, black and white… sometimes red it means is it’s not okay – physical abuse… If a child draws a big ears mean is verbally abuse… If they draw man with shape teeth, hand, feet, hair with ugly or angry look mean is sexual abuse…Drawing just mother and child without father… sexual abuse… Drawing can tell form of abuses

Physical abuse: you can tell a child is being hurt, bruise, burnt etc often which it’s not normal as “children accidently”. It also expose children into volience, aggressive, crimes, temper, abusive and bully others or damaging property, damage furniture, car, tearing clothes, trouble with police and then more ….. etc.

Neglected children may have problem with schoolwork, doesn’t bother to take care herself/himself to be clean. Failure to feed children foods, clothes, care, etc.

Different form of abuses expose children’s behavior like this.

No to low self-esteem
Loss trust and respect
Aggressive, angry, temper, abusive, bully
Volience and crime
Talk about suicide
Hate herself/himself
Problem with schoolwork
Sad, depression, nightmares
Daydreams
Self-harm, injury
Looking for affection, tries to please
Sleeping or eating problems
Unusual habit
Fearful behavior
Beating, burns and bites
Nervous and fear toward adult.
A child knows too much about “porn.” sex
Show his/her private part to everyone and show anyone that he can play himself or herself… .
Poor skill development
alcohol or drug abuse, suicide
think badly of themselves
not look after themselves
wet bed
eat disorder
change eat habits
and more.....

 

[diehardbiker]

Worry about how to handle "Parenting" job? Trust me, it is not all bad as you'd think or imaged! Same goes with money too! I was surprised that I have always ended up getting budget met no matter what.

1. What age is too old for nursing?

It really depends on mother and the baby. There is really strange but you WILL know when the right time comes in. There is no definite schedule for this.

2. How old were kids till they are able to walk without falling down so much? (my friend's son is almost 2 years old and Man! He fall at every 10 steps, makes me wonder if its normal or not?)

It depends on the baby, first child usually the longest wait before they were able to walk, and the last child always the shortest.

3. What age do CODA kids usually starts to pick up on sign language? OR is there even a difference in CODA and DEAF child when it comes to learning sign language?

Can't answer the question, it is all depends on how much deaf parents spend time trying to communicate with ASL. My son's first language is really ASL, and he can talk very well (I have no idea where he learns to speak).

4.For deaf parent with hearing parent.. will there be a problem on method of communication to teach child? Suppose hearing parent doesnt know sign language at all, what do u think will happens? What SHOULD be happening with hearing parent that doesnt know sign?

IMHO, hearing parents with deaf child should learn sign language. Does not matter if it is ASL or SEE. I am one of only few that got hearie parents learn signs, not so great, not so fluently but able to talk. More of homemade signs.

5. Deaf parent with hearing parent who can sign language too as well, again will method of communication to be taught to child be a problem?

Deaf with hearing parent? whats your question really? Im lil confused.

6. How old should a child starts to go to school?

Ideally 5 years old, but can start as early as 3 if wish.

7. Do parents start to teach school stuff to child before school age? Or is it something they should?

Its entirely up to parents to decide. But in reality Parents is ALWAYS child's first teacher!

8. Suppose no phone at home, child got in accident, cant drive and no way to contact other parent, what should current parent do?

200 years ago, what hearing people do? Same thing! Actually there is many ways to communicate, phone isn't the only method.

9. Deaf babysitter with hearing child, what should she or he know about taking care of the hearing child? (at hearing friend's place where no light flashing, etc)

Can't really answer because there is NO such specific thing. It all depends on situation.

10. How do deaf communicate with hearing child who knows nothing of writing and signs yet?

Easy, gesture! Really, the parents is the one who easily recongizes, once you have your own baby you will understand.

11. With toddlers who havent learned the morals yet, how do u tell if he or she was being abused physically, mentally, sexually or verbally? (im asking about a child who do not understand that other person shouldnt touch the child's private and thats its wrong to do so... how do u know if that child was being sexually abuse?)

too many tell tale signs that is easily recongized. If I had friend come in then left and notice strange behavior from my kid, I'd know something serious is going on. Little kids DO response, just same way as pets do.

12. What common signs should a parent look for if there should be a problem in a child like behaviors and etc and how do u know the difference of normal kid with bad temper or something else is actually wrong?

Before and after behavior.

okay thats enough for now heh (ofc im a wannabe mother so i want to know everything as much as possible plus the Maury talkshow i watched this morning has inspired me to ask questions because that show was talking about children and how they were victims... poor kids) and i appeciate for the time you took to answer my questions.

If your truly wanna be mother, you should be fine. Everything will fall naturally, been there, seen there and saw my son's almost 5 years growth. What I hear, learn and think before my son's born is TOTALLY different than what I realize now. I am not saying they are wrong. But my perspective have changed. So, there is NO specific instruction, or information that you will know ahead of time. When time comes in, you will learn. Unfortunately mistakes can happen. Like disciplines for example, no two kids response to discipline the same way. I made mistakes with my disciplines and see the results. So, I change as time goes by, but disciplines DO changes in the course of child's life. You can't discipline the same way when kids teenager and when they are toddler.
First two years is WONDERFUL! Easy!!! then when kid is in "Terrible 2" stage, man! unbelieveable!

 

[Cheri]

I agree with deafhardbiker

I could add my input, If you would like. If you're a first-time mother, You'll get the basics about burping, bathing, bonding, and other baby-care concerns by doctors and nurse. After your first baby is born, the nurse will go over step by step on how to take good care of your newborn. After you get home, raising your precious little baby, You're as a mother do what you feel is right as a mother. If you feel that you would want to nurse your baby and is conformable in doing that, You can and if you want to bottle feeding your baby, You have that choice too. When you are home with your baby you would need a friend, or your mother, mother in law to help you to take care of your baby so that way you can get plenty of rest for yourself. You have to be careful to support your baby's head and neck, That's important step to know about, and not to shake your newborn if you are frustrated from the baby crying, that can cause brain bleeding and death. Seriously, Some parents are not aware of that. It can happen and it had happened too. Babies love sounds such as music and people talking in background, making the baby feel conformable knowing that someone is around, Even musical mobiles in their bedroom while they sleep in their crib. Your baby's doctor can fill you in with how much to feed your baby, and what stage of age to start with fruit and vegetables, and table food as well.

Everyone has their different method how to raise their children. It's important to trust your instinct. As parents, we want our children to grow up to be caring people, who can do good deeds for others, and show children that they can do good deeds for others too. It's important to teach your children not to judge anyone but to respect people/other kids for who they are, no matter what race, religious, etc., from preschool to high school.

It can at times be frustrating watching our children not doing the right thing, behaving badly at the stage of 2 years old, That's the most frustrating situation you gotta get yourself into. LOL! That's why they call those two's (terrible two's) You'll get to see that for the first time of you life! You as a parent have to know what to do in case it happens. But, I'll tell you one thing, Children will not be "good" all the time, They will have their moments.

If you have hearing children, And you know how to speak by using your voice, Then you will not have no difficulty teaching your children sign language too. They will understand who you are as being deaf when they know they tried to call our your name and You didn't turn your face to them. They will realized that and get your attention by touching your face, or tagging your shoulders. Just like my children do. I love them with passion!

Bottom line is, You will know what to do with your baby/child the moment he or she is born in the world. If you have any questions after becoming a new parent, Feel free to ask questions here when the time comes. Are you preggy Spicy? I had to ask.

 

[diehardbiker]

Cheri, no offense, but I am not deafhardbiker. I am DIEhardbiker... Meaning I can't give up being biker! I love motorcycles.

I have chatted with several CODAs, and deaf parents with hearing child. They told me they regretted that they never use sign language when raising hearing child, or that CODA wish that their parents teach them sign lanugage back then. The parent's reason for regretting is that most of the time when raising hearing child orally, they become more difficult to commuinicate when they grow up, and become more apart from them rather closer the bond.

I think I can see why, when child grow up, they learn more complicated words, and making it harder for deaf parents figure out what the heck the lips is saying because they never seen the word before.

Other suggestion I learn is that it is NOT wise to use your child's own sign lanugage because it will only confuse them later on.

Bottom line, parent's the usually are the only one that knows their child the best. I learned my hard lesson for trying to preach other parents without being parents to start with. Now that I am parent, and I now STFU and respect other parent's decision. They know their kids more than me, and I KNOW my son from my heart more than anyone else except his mother.

 

[Cheri]

Cheri, no offense, but I am not deafhardbiker. I am DIEhardbiker... Meaning I can't give up being biker! I love motorcycles.

Oh sorry I forgot. I knew you love motorcycles but misspelled your name wrong. :Oops:

 

[diehardbiker]

I wanted to add this, the research had reversed the old belief back in 1950's which they had belief that formula provides baby best nutrition, sanitary,and would lead healthy life. These beliefs are now myth! The recent research had proved that the breastfed babies have the least disease, and much healthier than those who were never breastfed and relied on formula to start with. These studies have suggested that the immune system have naturally fed into the youngs though breastfeed. Also that the study found that the breastfed nutrition far surpassed than formula! I can NOT deny this because already proved with my son. He almost never got sick, and is almost five years old. I think he got sick twice in his lifetime. WOW! I had to encourage expectant mothers to breastfed her babies.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I didnt know what some of you answer to Spice´s question about?

1. What age is too old for nursing?

What´s this mean? "too old for nursing"? All what I see some of your posts answer is normal what we nurse our babies, etc... yes but what is that "too old for nursing"? Not answer exactly list of questions what Spice want to ask us for?

diehardbiker65
I have chatted with several CODAs, and deaf parents with hearing child. They told me they regretted that they never use sign language when raising hearing child, or that CODA wish that their parents teach them sign lanugage back then. The parent's reason for regretting is that most of the time when raising hearing child orally, they become more difficult to commuinicate when they grow up, and become more apart from them rather closer the bond.

I think I can see why, when child grow up, they learn more complicated words, and making it harder for deaf parents figure out what the heck the lips is saying because they never seen the word before.

that´s exactly what I teach my children to sign since they were babies because they should know it´s my language. I have a lot of parents tell me that they regretted that they never use sign language to expose their children. I raised in London and saw how deaf parents exposed their hearing children with their own languages... hearing children sign very good... become social welfare for the deaf, interpreter, close to their parents etc. I married and move to live in Germany and saw how different deaf parents expose their hearing children. I asked them why they don´t sign their children? Their answer because their children are hearing that´s why they have to learn to speak for them. I told them that the children should learn to accept their parent´s languages, not do everything for them. They said it´s no good because it could confuse their children. Okay, I respect their opinions. Many years later they learn from CODA few years ago and regretted. I know CODA long time ago is in England until CODA comes in Germany few years ago. A lot parents were there and regretted how they exposed their children like this without learn to know their parent´s language. They can´t beleive when they saw my children sign fully to us like they are deaf and can sign to deaf children as well. We are more close than others.



Bottom is every parents couldn´t be prefect parents but they do everything what they can is mainly important.

 

[IslandGal]

Liebling, nursing a child means to breastfeed a child.

SpiceHD, to answer your question about nursing......most doctors advice mothers to keep on nursing their child at least for two years.

DieHardBiker have said it all

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I wanted to add this, the research had reversed the old belief back in 1950's which they had belief that formula provides baby best nutrition, sanitary,and would lead healthy life. These beliefs are now myth! The recent research had proved that the breastfed babies have the least disease, and much healthier than those who were never breastfed and relied on formula to start with. These studies have suggested that the immune system have naturally fed into the youngs though breastfeed. Also that the study found that the breastfed nutrition far surpassed than formula! I can NOT deny this because already proved with my son. He almost never got sick, and is almost five years old. I think he got sick twice in his lifetime. WOW! I had to encourage expectant mothers to breastfed her babies.

Yes, I created a thread about mother milk and formula milk last year.

http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=9314&highlight=formula+milk+breastfed

I know difference between my children... Check my story in my thread why my eldest son have bottlefed and breastfed to young son for 9 months. Yes, my eldest son have more problem than my young son.

 

[IslandGal]

I wanted to add this, the research had reversed the old belief back in 1950's which they had belief that formula provides baby best nutrition, sanitary,and would lead healthy life. These beliefs are now myth! The recent research had proved that the breastfed babies have the least disease, and much healthier than those who were never breastfed and relied on formula to start with. These studies have suggested that the immune system have naturally fed into the youngs though breastfeed. Also that the study found that the breastfed nutrition far surpassed than formula! I can NOT deny this because already proved with my son. He almost never got sick, and is almost five years old. I think he got sick twice in his lifetime. WOW! I had to encourage expectant mothers to breastfed her babies.

It is good to hear this coming from someone else especially a guy. I am glad that I am not the only one who is a strong believer in breastfeeding. I have breatfeed my two babies and I have loved every moment of it.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Liebling, nursing a child means to breastfeed a child.

Thank you for clarify.

The word of "nursing" confused me because there´re many different form of nursing to the children.

Thank again.

 

[diehardbiker]

I thought America doctors recommended 1 year as the earliest weaning. But in the world average, it is 4 years! Some countries thought its normal as old as 7 years old! Researchers have found no negative effect on these countries with 7 years! So, there is no hard evidence when is too long.

Thanks, its all from my experience and what I have learn. The best preparation anyone could use is expect the UNEXPECTED! There will always be unexpected surprises, so expect these surprises will lessen your stresses.

If your preggy and the father is first time and with you. Just watch him, strange things DO happen to him. When my gf was preggy with my first baby, I eat popcorn everyday from the day one of fertility to birth! I get heartburn during preggy and stop heartburn when my son popped out. I don't know other strange I have been doing. But this preggy DOES affect me BIG time! Worth it? I couldn't say any more... HELL YES!

Liebling, nursing a child means to breastfeed a child.

SpiceHD, to answer your question about nursing......most doctors advice mothers to keep on nursing their child at least for two years.

DieHardBiker have said it all

 

[SpiceHD]

wow thanks for your answers! and cheri nope im not preggy *sigh regretablly* just that i have been hanging out wiht my friends who are already married or have children plus theres shows everywhere about children and mommies wiht daddies.. makes me want to be one

and lieling thanks for trying to answer my questions even though u dont understand some..

 

[SpiceHD]

bluebutterfly is correct... i wanted to know how old is too old to breastfeed the babies.

 

[SpiceHD]

quote by liebling 10. How do deaf communicate with hearing child who knows nothing of writing and signs yet?

Do you mean deaf parents or deaf children with hearing children? How old children are? I can’t answer yet until I need clarify

i mean deaf people communicate with hearing children at between age 2 to 5 when they havent learned how to write and they dont learn sign language yet.. how do they communicate?

 

[Liebling:-)))]

wow thanks for your answers! and cheri nope im not preggy *sigh regretablly* just that i have been hanging out wiht my friends who are already married or have children plus theres shows everywhere about children and mommies wiht daddies.. makes me want to be one

that´s what I thought so. I was like after read some of response post on your thread to give you advise about your future mother to be... It make you feel good..

I know you made questions what you know from your friend.


Anyway

and lieling thanks for trying to answer my questions even though u dont understand some..

Welcome...

Yes, I already said in my first post that I´m unsure about your 2 questions number 1 and 10 until Bluebutterfly answered and then you answered about number 10...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

quote by liebling 10. How do deaf communicate with hearing child who knows nothing of writing and signs yet?

Do you mean deaf parents or deaf children with hearing children? How old children are? I can’t answer yet until I need clarify

i mean deaf people communicate with hearing children at between age 2 to 5 when they havent learned how to write and they dont learn sign language yet.. how do they communicate?

that´s what you mean is people in general way... not deaf parents of hearing children... okay...

I would love to say something what I know. Unfortunlately, I can´t answer to this because I don´t have an experience with hearing children who can´t write and use sign lanuage before. All what I know is deaf people use their oral to speak hearing children or use body language to make children understand what they want to say... I notice that hearing children have no problem to understand deaf people´s body language than read deaf people´s lips. That´s all what I notice.

 

[SpiceHD]

ah i was just wondering about that cuz my friend who had 2 years old boy and very active... anyway he wanted to go outside but he needs to eat first so what i did was.. i showed him shoes then pulls back and give food

it took him a while till he understood that if he eat two pieces of hotdog he will get shoes on ... it worked for me but it made me wonder about day by day with children who doesnt know how to sign or write... i spent only like a hour or two with that child and it was already pretty difficult to understand him heh

 

[Liebling:-)))]

ah i was just wondering about that cuz my friend who had 2 years old boy and very active... anyway he wanted to go outside but he needs to eat first so what i did was.. i showed him shoes then pulls back and give food

it took him a while till he understood that if he eat two pieces of hotdog he will get shoes on ... it worked for me but it made me wonder about day by day with children who doesnt know how to sign or write... i spent only like a hour or two with that child and it was already pretty difficult to understand him heh

What you did is great. It would take children a while to understand your body language or oral...

One thing I forget to correct my answer on your question No.1 over breastfeeding.

I know from my doctors opinion that breastfed should be stop within 6 months to one year time. I breastfed my son for 9 months - I want to stay longer but my nipple is bleeding thru his bite... it got infection so I stop it with the help from sage tea... to kill mother milk.

I really don't care how long the mother want to nurse their baby as long as they like to. It could be up to 1 and half year.

I thought America doctors recommended 1 year as the earliest weaning. But in the world average, it is 4 years! Some countries thought its normal as old as 7 years old! Researchers have found no negative effect on these countries with 7 years! So, there is no hard evidence when is too long.

I'm agree that between over 2 and 7 years old are rather too long.