question about nightmare..

Oceanbreeze said:
To those looking for help: I would suggest asking your therapist for information regarding support groups. These groups are better because they can be moderated by a therapist who is trained to keep the group on track and ensure that it doesn't veer to something dangerous or unhealthy.
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ocean,

looking for a support group is an excellent idea. i already attend a support group for people with bipolar and have found it extremely helpful.

as for taking advice in this thread, i think i'm just going to follow the advice of my therapist. after all, he told me that the healing process (especially when it has just started like in my case) can take a long time.
 
jillio said:
The focus needs to be on you, not on him. He isn't the one suffering. You are.
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this is true. when my therapist asked me whether i wanted to confront the people who were responsible for my traumas, i told him that i didn't have a choice because 2 of them are deceased and the third is nowhere to be found. i also said that even if i could talk to these people, they would probably deny everything they did to me, but he said the point was that i be allowed to express feelings about what happened to me and how their actions made me feel. i think that's the same purpose of writing a letter -- to heal yourself rather than the people who hurt you.
 
Berry said:
I would start on a little memory, one that is less emotional, so you can have a success to build on when you tackle tougher ones.

And once again I think this tiny little book may help. It was written in 1902 by a man who took Proverbs chapter 23 verse 7 and ran with it. The entire text is free online at this site. As A Man Thinketh by James Allen

I wish you the best the world has to offer.
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I'm definitely going to start with smaller memories. I'm not sure this technique would work for my heavier memories. Especially since in some cases all I know about them is what they did to me.

Thanks for the book recommendation! Definitely going to check it out! (And it's online so I should be able to read it for sure. <big smile>)
 
jillio said:
But you don't really have the power to do that. By attempting to control him, you are only giving him continued control over you. If you have done what you can do to report his behavior, then you have done all you can do. It is in someone else's hands. You gave it to them when you reported him.

As much as it bothers you to know that there is a possibility that he is abusing other children, you must e concerned with healing yourself before you can begin to help anyone else. You need to deal with your issues regarding this situation and then you will be able to move on. You are permitting him to control that right now by giving him that power.

Perhaps it would be more therapuetic to write your letter, and to concentrate on what he did to you and how it made you feel, rather than writing a letter attempting to change his behavior. That is the purpose of the exercise. To say what you need to say to him about you. If the purpse of your letter is to advise him how he needs to change, then it is probably not time for you to write that letter. The focus needs to be on you, not on him. He isn't the one suffering. You are.
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Thanks. I will try that.

I think I might have a chance still. The last few times I did it I was underage. Now I'm of age. Maybe it will be different this time?
 
Joining a support group sounds like an idea. Are they generally free?
 
Hear Again said:
ocean,

looking for a support group is an excellent idea. i already attend a support group for people with bipolar and have found it extremely helpful.

as for taking advice in this thread, i think i'm just going to follow the advice of my therapist. after all, he told me that the healing process (especially when it has just started like in my case) can take a long time.
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Thats the best way to go, Hear Again. :)

I don't mean to bash those giving advice. I am just uncomfortable with it because we're all in various stages of the healing process and some of us may not be ready to confront emotional issues just yet. That really is what the therapist is for. To help the person process the traumatic event at his or her own pace, and in a matter that is not harmful to the person. You can do real harm to someone if you're not careful and that could be disasterous. None of us wants to see someone hurt.
 
Hear Again said:
i can't do that for the people who traumatized me. i also can't think of myself laughing at them because the things they did to me were so deplorable. then again, perhaps i'm missing the point behind your post...i dont know.

as for things happening overnight, of course i don't expect that. after all, rome wasn't built in a day.
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My wife needs the net and I have to run to the dumps.

Short answer is that laughter is not a must, what is is that you change the negative emotional reaction into something you can better deal with.

Humor is a must for me, forgiveness for someone else, and you have to find your own -- The one that empowers YOU.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Some are, but some aren't. Talk to your therapist and they can hook you up with what's available in your area.
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nika,

you might also want to check NAMI's (national alliance on mental illness) website for information about support groups in your city and state.

NAMI is an organization that has state chapters, so perhaps that's also something you might want to look into. i've been a member since my bipolar diagnosis in 2006.

for more information:

NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Yeah, it's weird. Some require a sign up fee or something. But, it's still worth looking into.
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i didn't know that. do you have any idea how much sign up fees are?

by the way nika, if your therapist can't locate a support group for you, you might also want to call a psychiatric hospital in your area if you have one. yet another idea is to call your university's psychology department (or any local university) and ask them.
 
Hear Again said:
i didn't know that. do you have any idea how much sign up fees are?

by the way nika, if your therapist can't locate a support group for you, you might also want to call a psychiatric hospital in your area if you have one. yet another idea is to call your university's psychology department (or any local university) and ask them.
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It can vary, but usually they're in the neighborhood of $10-$25 Check around. See whats available. Talk to the tdoc. Talk to the moderator of the support group. The therapist leading the group can usually tell you what the fees are and how often the group is led per week, ect.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
It can vary, but usually they're in the neighborhood of $10-$25 Check around. See whats available. Talk to the tdoc. Talk to the moderator of the support group. The therapist leading the group can usually tell you what the fees are and how often the group is led per week, ect.
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thanks, ocean.

the reason i ask is because i'm thinking about joining a ptsd support group, but i don't know yet. we'll see.
 
jillio said:
LOL. Kids are more likely to have periods of muscle activity while in REM sleep. They are also more likely to sleepwalk. It has to do with the brain not being fully matured. The majority simply outgrow it as their brain matures.
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That is odd. I didn't start sleepwalking until 9th grade. I noticed that I sleepwalked whenever I am in new enviroment (stress). I didn't sleepwalk during the last years of my high school but i had sleepwalked in the first year of college.
 
Buffalo said:
That is odd. I didn't start sleepwalking until 9th grade. I noticed that I sleepwalked whenever I am in new enviroment (stress). I didn't sleepwalk during the last years of my high school but i had sleepwalked in the first year of college.
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How did you know you were sleep-walking?
 
Hear Again said:
thanks, ocean.

the reason i ask is because i'm thinking about joining a ptsd support group, but i don't know yet. we'll see.
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You're welcome. Check around. Make sure the support group is moderated, though. I think those are the most helpful.

Good luck. :)
 
Hear Again said:
this is true. when my therapist asked me whether i wanted to confront the people who were responsible for my traumas, i told him that i didn't have a choice because 2 of them are deceased and the third is nowhere to be found. i also said that even if i could talk to these people, they would probably deny everything they did to me, but he said the point was that i be allowed to express feelings about what happened to me and how their actions made me feel. i think that's the same purpose of writing a letter -- to heal yourself rather than the people who hurt you.
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Exactly.
 
Buffalo said:
That is odd. I didn't start sleepwalking until 9th grade. I noticed that I sleepwalked whenever I am in new enviroment (stress). I didn't sleepwalk during the last years of my high school but i had sleepwalked in the first year of college.
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Yes. Stress can also bring it on in adulthood, and some medications have been known to causesleep walking.
 
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