Purina Diet

ncff07

Resident Punk Ass
Premium Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
4,951
Reaction score
25
Yesterday I was buying a 2 large bags of Purina dog chow at Walmart,
for my dogs, Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check
out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think,
that I had an elephant? Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time.
On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every hole in my body
and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and
simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was enthralled with my story by now.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was laughing so hard!

WAL-MART won't let me shop there anymore!
 
You realize I will probably steal that material or do a take off from it at some time -- I want to do it in line at the local Wally World.

Great stuff.
 
Back
Top