police jokes

LOL...I thought you were easing up on the cops ;)

I've passed a few of these along. Some of those are pretty funny.
 
heheh... and pass up a chance of finding good police joke!? never! heheh
 
Taylor said:
LOL...I thought you were easing up on the cops ;)

I've passed a few of these along. Some of those are pretty funny.
Click to expand...



Hey Taylor, what's your favorite Police Joke ?
 
I'll have to let my dad know..... I always tell him to behave or no donut for him!
 
This is not a joke, But its a true story with my other deaf friend. We both got pulled over for speeding and the cop was a mean one and he was talking really fast that i could not understand him, I asked him nicely "I am deaf, Can you please speak slowly?" and he continued acting like an person who is ignorant about deaf people. So i told my friend in front of the cop, "Hey this police officer is a fucking asshole" and i smiled.

It was in sign lanague mind you, and now the cop never knew what i said for the rest of his life :mrgreen:
 
In Hot Pursuit

Two girlfriends were speeding down the highway at well over a 100 miles per hour.
"Hey," asked the brunette at the wheel, "see any cops following us?"
The blonde turned around for a long look. "As a matter of fact, I do."
"Oh, NOOOO!" yelled the brunette. "Are his flashers on?"
The blonde turned around again. "Yup...nope...yup...nope...yup..."

Have it happenss to both of you blondie twins? :naughty:
 
Another Blondies joke...

A BLONDE POLICE STOP

A blonde was speeding in a 35 mile per hour zone when a local police officer pulled her over and walked up to the car. The officer also happened to be a blonde and she asked for the blonde's driver's license.
The driver searched frantically in her purse for a while and finally said to the blonde policewoman, "What does a driver's license look like?"
Irritated, the blonde cop said, "You dummy, it's got your picture on it!"
The blonde driver frantically searched her purse again and found a small, rectangular mirror down at the bottom. She held it up to her face and said, "Aha! This must be my driver's license" and handed it to the blonde policewoman.
The blonde cop looked in the mirror, handed it back to the driver and said, "You're free to go. And, if I had known you were a police officer too, we could have avoided all of this."
 
sad but true!

Ever Go A Fishin'

A man was speeding down a Alabama highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over.
The officer handed him the citation, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why did I get the ticket?"
"Ever go a fishin'?" the policeman suddenly asked the man.
"Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied.
The officer grinned and added, "Did you ever catch 'em all?"
 
Hope that doesn't happen to the blondie twins :giggle:

Blonde Calls 911

A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out.
However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
 
did I see the blondies twins did the same thing this morning on my way to work? :giggle:

Wrong Way Blonde

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: "Do you know where your going?"
Blonde: "No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people are leaving.
:lol:
 
Potato Sack Crooks

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.
The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.
The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, "meow", the cop says, "oh, its only a cat"
He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, "woof, woof". The cop says, "its only a dog".
He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, "potato"
 
I''m hoping the blondie twins doesn't try this one... :o

3 Blonde Jumpers

A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building. He suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, "Why did you women jump off of the building?"
The blonde answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads, with wings..."
 
I would love to be that biker... it's funny if I'd be honking that corvette so I can pass it :lol:

Biker

A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Pittsburgh, to Philadelphia Pennsylvania.
He got as far as Altoona before the mountains became too much and he could go no farther. He stuck his thumb out to hitchhike, but after 3 hours hadn't gotten a single person to stop.
Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldn't fit in the car.
The owner of the Corvette found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going too fast, to honk the horn on his bike and that he would slow down.
Everything went fine for the first 30 miles.
Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the two Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speeds from his radar gun and radioed to the other officer that he had two Corvettes headed his way at 120 mph. He then relayed, "and you're not going to believe this, but there's a guy on a 10-speed bike honking to pass."
 
Nusentinsaino said:
This is not a joke, But its a true story with my other deaf friend. We both got pulled over for speeding and the cop was a mean one and he was talking really fast that i could not understand him, I asked him nicely "I am deaf, Can you please speak slowly?" and he continued acting like an person who is ignorant about deaf people. So i told my friend in front of the cop, "Hey this police officer is a fucking asshole" and i smiled.

It was in sign lanague mind you, and now the cop never knew what i said for the rest of his life :mrgreen:
Click to expand...
:rofl: i'm sure its still stuck in his head wondering 'what the hell did he say'
 
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