Personal Space and those who invade it

[green427]

In order for me to communicate with another person effectively, I have to be able to see the entire torso, arms, and head of the other person all at the same time.

With ASL users, there is almost a 4-6 foot minimum of personal space between people, so I haven't felt crowded with ASL users.

With hearing people, it is different. There are a handful of them that just have to get 10 inches from my face while talking to me. That is freakin' annoying, and it bothers me. I sometimes get anxiety attacks when someone is in my face.

One of those people is a young, hot, 20-something girl in my office. When she has this urge to talk to me, she literally comes so close to me that her eyes are bouncing between my two eyes. I have to remind her over and over to move back so that I can understand her better. She feels offended, and asks me "Do I smell?" "Is my breath bad?" and other questions. I would not mind having such a hot body near me, but not when there is a conversation taking place.

I still have a few other "close talkers" who just walk right up into my face. I absolutely hate it when a hearing person is 3 inches from my face talking and they don't get the message when I step back a few times. A couple times I've had to physically push them away from me.

Note: this question is mainly aimed at deaf ASL/ESL/oral users, not at hearing people: Does it bother you when hearing people invade your "3 foot" personal space?

 

[Bottesini]

Yes

 

[LDNanna]

If I cant see a signers space, or see mouth movements, they are too close, or wait - let me get my glasses....

Yes, it is offensive. If I wear my PLD Ive had folks lean into my chest to talk to it. Wow is that uncomfortable!

 

[posts from hell]

In order for me to communicate with another person effectively, I have to be able to see the entire torso, arms, and head of the other person all at the same time.

With ASL users, there is almost a 4-6 foot minimum of personal space between people, so I haven't felt crowded with ASL users.

With hearing people, it is different. There are a handful of them that just have to get 10 inches from my face while talking to me. That is freakin' annoying, and it bothers me. I sometimes get anxiety attacks when someone is in my face.

One of those people is a young, hot, 20-something girl in my office. When she has this urge to talk to me, she literally comes so close to me that her eyes are bouncing between my two eyes. I have to remind her over and over to move back so that I can understand her better. She feels offended, and asks me "Do I smell?" "Is my breath bad?" and other questions. I would not mind having such a hot body near me, but not when there is a conversation taking place.

I still have a few other "close talkers" who just walk right up into my face. I absolutely hate it when a hearing person is 3 inches from my face talking and they don't get the message when I step back a few times. A couple times I've had to physically push them away from me.

Note: this question is mainly aimed at deaf ASL/ESL/oral users, not at hearing people: Does it bother you when hearing people invade your "3 foot" personal space?

It's mildly annoying when a drunk is about 1/2 inch from my ear, screaming, spreading his saliva all over the insides of my ear canal.

Other than that I'm fuzzy.

 

[Bottesini]

It's mildly annoying when a drunk is about 1/2 inch from my ear, screaming, spreading his saliva all over the insides of my ear canal.

Other than that I'm fuzzy.

I don't drink. I just bite them if they get close enough.

 

[SimonJ]

If a hot girl got inches from my face, I'd kiss her.

 

[Steinhauer]

I would just eat garlic and breathe heavy.

 

[KristinaB]

I really hate in when people get into my personal space. I deal with it daily and it drives me batty.

 

[shel90]

Yea, I have had that issue especially when hearing people want to whisper in my ear. I tense up right away due to my personal space being invaded.

 

[AlleyCat]

I don't drink. I just bite them if they get close enough.

All kidding aside, many of the people I work with stand only a foot away from me when talking. It makes me want (and do) to back away a little.

 

[Silentwolfdog]

Depending on situation. Usually I don't like it.

 

[lanapoo]

I've had a random gas station attendant pat my head and tell me that he's so sorry that I'm deaf. I slapped his hand away and replied, "I'm sorry you can hear." I'm very picky about my own personal space and insist on keeping at least 2 feet around me. People taunt me and try to "poke" my little bubble. People who actually touch me like the gas station attendant, I'll swat the hand away and keep myself from screaming. No... I'm not that crazy, but I wish they'd just respect my personal space. All of my friends are aware of my personal space and try to respect that although they do occasionally get close on purpose just to irritate me.

 

[Bebonang]

I've had a random gas station attendant pat my head and tell me that he's so sorry that I'm deaf. I slapped his hand away and replied, "I'm sorry you can hear." I'm very picky about my own personal space and insist on keeping at least 2 feet around me. People taunt me and try to "poke" my little bubble. People who actually touch me like the gas station attendant, I'll swat the hand away and keep myself from screaming. No... I'm not that crazy, but I wish they'd just respect my personal space. All of my friends are aware of my personal space and try to respect that although they do occasionally get close on purpose just to irritate me.

Way to go, girl.

 

[BecLak]

Yea, I have had that issue especially when hearing people want to whisper in my ear. I tense up right away due to my personal space being invaded.

Yes, same for me too. Whispering gets to me every time. Touching my head, shoulders and my back also too. It really irritates me.

 

[jillio]

I'm hearing, and I hate people that get up close when they are talking to you. I usually try to back up a few steps, and if that doesn't work, I just tell them that I am very uncomfortable with them being that close. I will say that it's because I have a phobia and that usually gets them to back away.

 

[Mrs Bucket]

Wirelessly posted

I must apologize to you all as a former personal space violator. There are friends and two close friends on this board that I am with IRL. I would purposely invade their personal space all for a hug or tickle them. I saw how it bothered them until BOTH of them told me notsogently how they felt. Sometimes you have to do that especially if a person is a chronic personal space violator. For those two close friends we know when he/she is comfy for a hug ie hi and goodbye. Hope this helps.

 

[deafgal001]

My son is a personal space violator. He gets right in my face and fingerspell for me... I keep reminding him to back up alittle but he keep forgetting. I love him!

 

[jillio]

Wirelessly posted

I must apologize to you all as a former personal space violator. There are friends and two close friends on this board that I am with IRL. I would purposely invade their personal space all for a hug or tickle them. I saw how it bothered them until BOTH of them told me notsogently how they felt. Sometimes you have to do that especially if a person is a chronic personal space violator. For those two close friends we know when he/she is comfy for a hug ie hi and goodbye. Hope this helps.

Agreed. Generally, people don't even realize that they are invading personal space, because they don't have those particular boundaries for themselves. But when informed, they learn to respect those boundaries that others have.

 

[jillio]

My son is a personal space violator. He gets right in my face and fingerspell for me... I keep reminding him to back up alittle but he keep forgetting. I love him!

Awww...sweet! Kids can invade my personal space anytime!:P

 

[Porete]

Yes, it can be slightly irritating. I always ask people who do that to back away a bit and give me some 'breathing space.' It's not just so because I can lip/speech read them better, but also because I don't really like to be 'crowded,' so to speak. I insist on people having a conversation with me to be at arm's length. I don't like any physical gestures eg. hugs as well.

But I'm glad to not be the only who values their personal space.