Parents snooping.. Invasion of privacy?

[VamPyroX]

You can always snoop indirectly.

Parents will always be putting clothes away when doing laundry. That's their chance to check the drawers and closets. Don't make it too obvious.

For instance, your kid hid some weed in a box that's store on the very top of his closet. It would be very obvious that you were making a huge effort to find it. That would make you look bad. Or... you could say that you were putting things up in the closet and the box fell out. Then that's less obvious.

 

[jillio]

You can always snoop indirectly.

Parents will always be putting clothes away when doing laundry. That's their chance to check the drawers and closets. Don't make it too obvious.

For instance, your kid hid some weed in a box that's store on the very top of his closet. It would be very obvious that you were making a huge effort to find it. That would make you look bad. Or... you could say that you were putting things up in the closet and the box fell out. Then that's less obvious.

Ohhhh..you're sneaky!

Its amazing what you find if you check pockets while doing laundry, too!

 

[VamPyroX]

Ohhhh..you're sneaky!

Its amazing what you find if you check pockets while doing laundry, too!

Yep... even report cards! :Ohno:

 

[Liebling:-)))]

You know...

As I was reminiscing my teen years, I hated it when my mother would be snooping through my stuffs, reading my diary and journals. I felt that she was invading my privacy.

So, Is it right for a parent to be reading their child/children's diary/journals to see what is going on with their personal lives? Maybe it isn't a fine idea to do that but on the other hand, we all know that kids sometime can't be really upfront and honest about anything.

Does the parents claim that they are only doing it for their child's well being? Or are they just snooping in to only to satisfy their curiosity?

Now, If a child were to be upfront and honest about it, then the snooping issue wouldn't have to be in the picture but then again, I think it should be well balanced by letting the child have their own privacy because otherwise, if the child knew that the parents were snooping in - That will result in not building a trust foundation between the child and the parent. It also will diminish the child's confidence one way or another.

If there was something suspicious going on - Perhaps, snooping in could be reasonable but only if it is acted promptly. As for other than being suspicious, I think it should be left alone as it is.

Just my 2 cents.

You need to be a real parent then sit with your child and talk openly. You break the trust bond between you and your child if you carry on like this.

Best way is open with your child than snoop behind your child’s back.

Yes I can understand the parents care about children’s safety and welfare but it’s still an invasion of privacy… Trust your children what you taught them. If they make mistakes then let them learn from them.

The fact is: snooping the children’s privacy is not right rules and form of discipline but just satisfy parent’s curious.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

I grew up with boundries. Children needs boundries.

I do not allow my kids to do what ever they want. If I did I would not be a parent, now would I?

Allowing your kids to do ANYTHING with out any boundries is not being a parent.

I have boundries and expectations of my children. As most parents do.

so I set them and they know the consiquences of overstepping those boundries.


You must be one of those kids that never dared to step out of line.

If your parents never set any boundries how did you know your limits?

Yup.

no boundries=no limits

A child with no boundries would not know the limits

and the thing is. Everyone has a certain limitation of tolerance. I have not yet met a person that tolerates everything and not set boundries.

Even parents that don't set certain boundries for children. They still tell them to get to bed. Shut up. etc.

The difference is setting positive boundries and negative ones.

Yes, the children need the boundaries but snoop children's privacy has nothing do with boundaries/limit because there're distinct difference between boundaries and privacy. Snooping leads to hurt trust bond relationship because the children deserve respect.

 

[Babyblue]

I don't have kids, but yes, I will snoop.

I snoop due to the fact that I love my children. Not to invade their privacy or to shame them. But to be aware of what is going on in my home and child.


what would be your reason?

That would go for the other snoopers as well.

 

[Nika]

I don't plan on snooping. If I am concerned about something, I would rather address my child directly by having a conversation rather than snooping around his/her room.

 

[Babyblue]

Yes, the children need the boundaries but snoop children's privacy has nothing do with boundaries/limit because there're distinct difference between boundaries and privacy. Snooping leads to hurt trust bond relationship because the children deserve respect.

As well as parents not tending to their children will hurt and harm.

children do desearve respect. I do! with mine!
but I also check on their rooms. It is not a matter of trust . It is a matter of them being children.

 

[Nika]

I agree with Liebling--snoops is ruining the trust. I would not be able to trust my parents if I knew them to be snooping around my room or looking into my things.

 

[jillio]

I snoop due to the fact that I love my children. Not to invade their privacy or to shame them. But to be aware of what is going on in my home and child.


what would be your reason?

That would go for the other snoopers as well.

Absolutely. I snooped on occasion because I loved my son, and because teens sometimes need to be protected from themselves as much as they need to be protected from others. It is unrealistic to think that a child will always make responsible and wise decisions about their activities. It is better to discover that an unwise decision has been made or is about to be made early on rather than waiting until some drastic consequence brings it to light. It is also unreasonable to expect that simply because you question your child about an issue of concern that they will always tell you the 100% truth. That is not to say children are inherently bad and should not be trusted. It is simply saying that they are children and they all do what children do. They are under the custody of an adult because they do not have the capability to make adult decisions and to supervise themselves without guidance.

 

[Babyblue]

Absolutely. I snooped on occasion because I loved my son, and because teens sometimes need to be protected from themselves as much as they need to be protected from others. It is unrealistic to think that a child will always make responsible and wise decisions about their activities. It is better to discover that an unwise decision has been made or is about to be made early on rather than waiting until some drastic consequence brings it to light. It is also unreasonable to expect that simply because you question your child about an issue of concern that they will always tell you the 100% truth. That is not to say children are inherently bad and should not be trusted. It is simply saying that they are children and they all do what children do. They are under the custody of an adult because they do not have the capability to make adult decisions and to supervise themselves without guidance.

exactly!!

Children are supervised for a reason, meaning that we have to supervise their activities and ROOMS or personal belongings. So we can look after them and raise them right!

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I snoop due to the fact that I love my children. Not to invade their privacy or to shame them. But to be aware of what is going on in my home and child.


what would be your reason?

That would go for the other snoopers as well.

Same reason as you. I'd love my child and want to make sure he/she isn't into something that could be dangerous for him/her. Like I've previously mentioned, this isn't something I would just do w/o out warning... Walking into "Lil Schmashley's" room and start looking around. But, if I'm in the room putting away laundry and I find something amiss, I'm gonna do some checking to see what else might be going on. I also would confront my child about what I might've found. Communication is always apart of the equation for me. "Where did this come from? Where'd you get it?", ect. If you don't have a dialog with your kid about things, it defeats the whole purpose of being vigilante in the first place.

 

[Babyblue]

Same reason as you. I'd love my child and want to make sure he/she isn't into something that could be dangerous for him/her. Like I've previously mentioned, this isn't something I would just do w/o out warning... Walking into "Lil Schmashley's" room and start looking around. But, if I'm in the room putting away laundry and I find something amiss, I'm gonna do some checking to see what else might be going on. I also would confront my child about what I might've found. Communication is always apart of the equation for me. "Where did this come from? Where'd you get it?", ect. If you don't have a dialog with your kid about things, it defeats the whole purpose of being vigilante in the first place.

communicating is a major part of the process. If something is found the parents responsibility would be to address the child with it.

SO yup I agree.

 

[David]

In my opinion, if you snoop and spy on your children, then you're teaching them that snooping and spying is okay.

I have an agreement with my two daughters; We talk openly and tell each other everything. I will trust them first. If they do ANYTHING to break that, then they are giving me the right to snoop and spy until I feel I can trust them again.

Just my opinion.

 

[Bebonang]

In my opinion, if you snoop and spy on your children, then you're teaching them that snooping and spying is okay.

I have an agreement with my two daughters; We talk openly and tell each other everything. I will trust them first. If they do ANYTHING to break that, then they are giving me the right to snoop and spy until I feel I can trust them again.

Just my opinion.

 

[LuciaDisturbed]

Ooohh. That is a toughy for me.

anyone that wants to contact my child VIA the net. They have to go through me. It is not being controlling. It is just all the dangers lurking on the net. That you can accuse me of being over protective.

She even pulled the "all my friends have my space"

I told her well her friends dont have a Mom like me.

Good!

I personally do not think anyone under 18 should have a MySpace or FaceBook profile at all. If I have children in the future, I will not allow them to have such accounts on such websites like those. I do not want older strange men finding my children on MySpace, contacting them, and making arrangements to meet them somewhere and then raping or hurting them. That is what frightens me. I have seen many profiles of minors under 18 and they have put so much sensitive information on their profiles, and their profiles are not even set to private on MySpace! I am like They put their full name, addresses, their phone numbers, their AIM or Yahoo or MSN messenger user names, etc on their profile. They put up inappropriate pictures of themselves on MySpace. I should warn you, your child might have a secret profile on MySpace that you don't know about that she could have created while at a friend's house using her friend's computer, so I suggest that you do a search of people in your area using her age, sex, and location, and possible names and see what comes up. If her profile comes up, you would be surprised at what you find on your daughter's profile. I know because my sister has done this when she was younger.

 

[Babyblue]

Good!

I personally do not think anyone under 18 should have a MySpace or FaceBook profile at all. If I have children in the future, I will not allow them to have such accounts on such websites like those. I do not want older strange men finding my children on MySpace, contacting them, and making arrangements to meet them somewhere and then raping or hurting them. That is what frightens me. I have seen many profiles of minors under 18 and they have put so much sensitive information on their profiles, and their profiles are not even set to private on MySpace! I am like They put their full name, addresses, their phone numbers, their AIM or Yahoo or MSN messenger user names, etc on their profile. They put up inappropriate pictures of themselves on MySpace. I should warn you, your child might have a secret profile on MySpace that you don't know about that she could have created while at a friend's house using her friend's computer, so I suggest that you do a search of people in your area using her age, sex, and location, and possible names and see what comes up. If her profile comes up, you would be surprised at what you find on your daughter's profile. I know because my sister has done this when she was younger.

She does not have one. .

If she did she would not be begging me to start one.

But I will keep that in mind. About searching and checking.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

In my opinion, if you snoop and spy on your children, then you're teaching them that snooping and spying is okay.

I have an agreement with my two daughters; We talk openly and tell each other everything. I will trust them first. If they do ANYTHING to break that, then they are giving me the right to snoop and spy until I feel I can trust them again.

Just my opinion.

Yes I second that.


Yes, I did the same thing to my boys like what you said here. Communciation is a KEY is trust and respect instead of spy behind their back because the children deserve RESPECT and TRUST. We get their trust and respect in return if I respect and trust them.

I allow them to make mistakes as long as they have my trust.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

My boys don't have MySpace or FaceBook and also their own passwords. I have two computer... One computer for both without password and one computer for me and my hubby with password.

They have their own emails and chat with their friends... and search internet due homework, play online games...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

You can always snoop indirectly.

Parents will always be putting clothes away when doing laundry. That's their chance to check the drawers and closets. Don't make it too obvious.

For instance, your kid hid some weed in a box that's store on the very top of his closet. It would be very obvious that you were making a huge effort to find it. That would make you look bad. Or... you could say that you were putting things up in the closet and the box fell out. Then that's less obvious.

something like that... but I put their clean clothes and undewears in their wardrobe and drawers front of my boys... It doesn't bother them really... Oh yes, I have seen condoms and nudity girls magazines in my oldest son's drawer... Guess what - I said nothing but said to myself that I'm proud that he know what he doing is his own SAFE... I am sure that he knew I saw it because I put his underwear away to the drawer front of him... I beleive it's best to put their clean clothes FRONT of them ... I would leave their clothes on their bed if they ask me but they doesn't. My son don't turn computer off quickly when I walk in his room.