# of Sexual Partners

Beach girl said:
That was very, very smart, and very responsible.

What an experience for you.
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We learn through our experience. I *knew* he was gay but he would never admit it to me. I almost feel like he chose me to 'change' him but we all know that isn't possible.

In many ways I'm thankful that I knew him in the first place. Strange.

What I mean is that I'm *SO* careful about sexual relationships now. No condom? No go! Don't want to wait for sexual intimacy? See ya!
 
everyone lies

In my experience most people lie about the number of sexual partners they have had anyways, so why even ask. It just creates the possibility for tension.

I did think the comment about small communities was interesting, I sometimes dread going out to certain events with the Deaf man I am seeing because I am afraid of running into an old fling in the same community.

Oh the webs we weave........
 
I never asked my hubby and he has never asked me. It is not important to us to know how many sexual partners we have had in the past. No biggie
 
I'm not sure how I feel about this, so I guess I have mixed feelings. The guys I've been with have always been very caring and considerate. I never was the fuck buddy-type as being an easy girl, but I wasn't a prune, either. After I was gang-...I still can't say it...after something happened, I felt dehumanized. And after that, it was important to me to know if the person I was with is the type to use women or treat a girl like a free whore. If he can do that and it doesn't bother his conscience, than who am I to him? Just another number?
 
deafbajagal said:
I'm not sure how I feel about this, so I guess I have mixed feelings. The guys I've been with have always been very caring and considerate. I never was the fuck buddy-type as being an easy girl, but I wasn't a prune, either. After I was gang-...I still can't say it...after something happened, I felt dehumanized. And after that, it was important to me to know if the person I was with is the type to use women or treat a girl like a free whore. If he can do that and it doesn't bother his conscience, than who am I to him? Just another number?
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now that is sad. you shouldnt have to be hurting like this... :kiss:
 
deafbajagal said:
I'm not sure how I feel about this, so I guess I have mixed feelings. The guys I've been with have always been very caring and considerate. I never was the fuck buddy-type as being an easy girl, but I wasn't a prune, either. After I was gang-...I still can't say it...after something happened, I felt dehumanized. And after that, it was important to me to know if the person I was with is the type to use women or treat a girl like a free whore. If he can do that and it doesn't bother his conscience, than who am I to him? Just another number?
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:hug: if you want to chat... i'm here... it took a lot for me to admit what happened when I was 16... i've learned it helps to tell someone. :hug:
 
Beach girl said:
Sounds about average to me, including the doing stupid things when you were younger. Heck, if we never do stupid things when we're young, when ARE we going to do them?? :lol:
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When you become a TSA agent maybe?
 
i'm not going to lie if i was dating a man and he told me that he slept with 10000000 girls i'd get suspicious. he could possibly have diseases and he probably wants sex for the wrong reasons. if he evolved and was all for monogamy then i would definitely overlook his past and give him a chance.

it would be natural for me to have a hard time trusting the guy because my exes were extremely promiscuous and ended up being douchebags. i have only slept with one guy..i'm not the kind of girl who will sleep with just anyone.
 
Warped said:
Does the number of sexual partners of your significant other (or desired future partner) matter to you? Yes

Should it matter much especially in a small community like the deaf's as you might know several former partners? Yes

If it does, then what would be the number that makes it too little or too much?
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I'm much comfortable with a straight guy all of his life who has a fewer than 5 sexual relationships.

He and I were glad to be on the same page because we did not want to have anything to do with anyone who has the same circle of ex's ex's ex's before and after either of us. We just find it disgusting and gross.
 
Beach girl said:
Does anyone remember the old Mary Tyler Moore show when Mary had some sort of discussion with her boss, Lou, about "the number?" If I'm remembering right - according to Lou "the number" should be "3." More than that and you were a bad girl!

Personally, I think it's not so much the exact number that matters; it's more the context of the former relationships. Although I agree with KStiletto and TheWriteAlex that super-high numbers don't say anything good about a person.

But by a certain age, I'd also be concerned if the number were "zero." How do you get to be age 30, say, and never been in love enough to have had an intimate relationship? It's possible, of course, but I'd like to know why. If it's due to sincerely-held moral/ethical reasons, fine. If it's because the person is scared of sex and intimacy, that might be reason for concern.
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Lol...i don't have a phobia of virgin men even if they are over 30 years old. I broke a guy's virginity (he was over 22 years old) who had never been in love before me.
 
How do you get to 30 and never been intimate?

Well, you are shy in high school, work a lot through college to earn tuition money and studying for my classes. When you graduate you move to a town that has, literally, 4 single men, none of whom interest you. Then you move again, and don't know anyone in the new town. You go out and do different activities and clubs, but just don't meet anyone who wants to date you that you also want to date.

If you also believe that you shouldn't "give it up" unless you're in a committed relationship and you haven't found anyone you liked (or who liked you) enough to have a committed relationship with.

So it isn't always scared of intimacy. It could be just seriously never having an acceptable offer.
 
Right...some of what you said in your post might fit the description reason why few of my male and female friends who are still virgin after 30, 40 years old. Some are just asexual. Intimacy relationship is not for everyone.
 
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