Not worth to have a power struggle with teenager kids !

[Kalista]

Excuse that language "stupid" but teens think they know everything of what they wants. I was teenager, I think my parent know nothing until I grow older, I realized my parent are right. We can't teach our teenagers until they learn their own.

I would like to share with you about my son's friend passed away last Wednesday due to argument with the parents. Police said the family was returning home after picking up a pizza from George’s Pizza when a verbal argument ensued over Guerra’s boyfriend. Guerra, who was sitting on the driver’s side rear seat, told her father to stop the vehicle because she wanted to get out.

"They were having words. The daughter told her father to stop the car. He didn’t stop and she got out of the car before it stopped," said Police Chief Bernard E. Gannon.

According to police reports, the parents told investigators that when they didn’t stop the car, they heard their daughter open the car door. They told her to close the door and at that point, she told them she was going to walk home.

"Mrs. Guerra stated that the next thing she knew Tina stepped out the door," Patrolman Jason M. Eddy said in his report.

According to reports, the parents immediately stopped the car and were "visibly shaken and crying" when police arrived at the scene and found Guerra lying on her back in the center of the roadway.

The parent’s decide to pull the plug out from the machine. It was very painful for my son because he lost forth friends so far !!


http://www.zwire.com/site/news.cfm?newsid=12274070&BRD=1712&PAG=461&dept_id=535689&rfi=8

Tina Marie Guerra, 18, of Harrisville, R.I., formerly of Franklin,MA died Wednesday, July 7, 2004, in Rhode Island Hospital, Providence, R.I.

She was born in Framingham, daughter of Richard and Karen (Wagner) Guerra Sr. of Harrisville, R.I., and lived in Franklin most of her life, before moving to Harrisville, R.I. At the time of her death, she was attending Burrillville High School in Burrillville, R.I., as a senior.

In junior high, she was a member of the swim team and basketball team. She enjoyed music, art and fishing.

Besides her parents, she leaves two brothers, Michael Guerra of North Attleboro, Richard Guerra Jr. of Norfolk, Va.; maternal grandmother, Dorothy I. (MacKenzie) Wagner of Franklin; two uncles, Arthur Anderson of Florida and Russell Anderson of Wilbraham; four aunts, Laura Hamelin of Northbridge, Bonnie Wagner of Framingham, Maureen Anderson of Florida and Elaine Anderson of Milford; and many cousins.

The funeral service will take place Monday, July 12, at 10 a.m., in the Church of the Nazarene, 130 Douglas Road, Uxbridge, officiated by the Rev. Robert Howard, pastor.

Burial will follow in the Vernon Grove Cemetery, Vernon Street, off Depot Street, Milford.

Calling hours are Sunday, July 11, from 4 to 8 p.m., in the Consigli-Ruggerio Funeral Home (www.consigliruggeriofuneralhome.com), 46 Water St., Milford.

 

[Cheri]

I am sorry about this girl, Parents need to reestablish the lines of communication with their kids....The true job of a teenager is to learn how to be an adult before they become one...They have lots of ideas about how this should be done and so do their parents and the ideas rarely match. It is important for Parents to keep line of communcation open, talking in a nice way instead of yelling and aruging cuz it turns teens off and they run off...

 

[Kalista]

I am sorry about this girl, Parents need to reestablish the lines of communication with their kids....The true job of a teenager is to learn how to be an adult before they become one...They have lots of ideas about how this should be done and so do their parents and the ideas rarely match. It is important for Parents to keep line of communcation open, talking in a nice way instead of yelling and aruging cuz it turns teens off and they run off...

we need to have more education to learn how to deal with teenager kids. It is not worth to have a parent's power struggle. Communication is the key !!

I always listen to my two sons's feelings before you become upset or anger. I am opening communication with them.

It is very difficult for me to be not worry about my son drives around after 11pm. I always paged him to find where he was. We do paged each other from his cell phone to my page sidekick. Technology is very helpful nowadays !!

It is sad because nowadays teen kids are more rebelled against the parent's obey or rules. The rules are not worth or punished/grounded. It makes things worse for the teen kids.

 

[CatoCooper13]

Aww, that's a terrible tragedy! So sorry that happened to one of your son's friends.

 

[Cheri]

we need to have more education to learn how to deal with teenager kids. It is not worth to have a parent's power struggle. Communication is the key !!

I always listen to my two sons's feelings before you become upset or anger. I am opening communication with them.

It is very difficult for me to be not worry about my son drives around after 11pm. I always paged him to find where he was. We do paged each other from his cell phone to my page sidekick. Technology is very helpful nowadays !!

It is sad because nowadays teen kids are more rebelled against the parent's obey or rules. The rules are not worth or punished/grounded. It makes things worse for the teen kids.

I understand where u are coming from.. raising a teen is a tough job for a parent and I know it isn't easy because they like to be in charge of everything even if parent are the one providing everything for them... education, clothing, food and roof over their heads.. and they do not obey parent's rules...It is a parents worst nightmare having their Teens out too late when they have no idea where they are...I don't blame them at all because, if that was me I would be going out of my mind.. LOL.....And the same time it is important to have trust in our children when they are in teens age, hopeful they will do the right thing but thats not always the case. lectures and punishment will only drive your child away from you. Calmly talk about your feelings as a way of opening communication. Ask how your teen feels, too. Let your child know that while you may not love the behavior, you still love him or her....

 

[Angel]

...Wow Cheri sis, you said it alot better than I would have, I agree totally on everything you said in both posts! Good Point and advice !

 

[Roadrunner]

Good points Cheri-sis....

Teenagers tends to feed off on 'attention'...the dire need for attention...if they don't get what they want, they'll tend to rebel in their own way....It's not any easier to raise teenagers these days as compared to 10-20 years ago when today's society itself is spinnning out of control with its fast chaotic pace....

I'm sorry to know of your son's friend Sabrina...and it's sad to see that it happened in this matter...My thoughts goes out to this family and your son....

 

[katz4life]

We can't teach our teenagers until they learn their own.

Are you telling us that we can't teach them teen kids about sex and safe-sex? That's such a lame thing from a parent to say that.

 

[katz4life]

It is sad because nowadays teen kids are more rebelled against the parent's obey or rules. The rules are not worth or punished/grounded. It makes things worse for the teen kids.

It's not always true. When I was teenager, my behavior got improved and reduced in rebelling against my parents after they punished me a lot. If parents don't punish their teen kids, teen kids can get more out of control or even worse. I've seen one too many of 'em whose parents barely ever punish them or still tryin' to work out with them which still never worked out well.:hs:

 

[GalaxyAngel]

Douglas,
Think twice.. Teenagers are SAME all everyones?? Hell No.. Do not forget personallites all everyones who have..

I was ran away from my parents which my parent who really horrible done to me in my past.. I had enuff... I had made my own choice and happier living my own apartment and went well... My parent surprsied that I can handle my own things and problem too.. Went well managed it.. Pretty long story.. Really not necessary repeatily what I had experience hell life!

Don't be expecting "purrrrfect teens" I had struggle my eldeson son , and who is 13 yrs old and pretty "pre-teen". I had try my best displinice him espically as far my concern about my son's future.. that's all I wanted to make sure he is OKAY.. Don't give him 100% pressure.. Just to remind him of my rules following up.. That's all.

 

[Kalista]

We can't teach our teenagers until they learn their own.

Are you telling us that we can't teach them teen kids about sex and safe-sex? That's such a lame thing from a parent to say that.

Douglas: Your topic is point out. This topic is talking about how could between parents and teenager kids struggle to resolve themselves.

For example: My older son's friend, Tina was argued with her parents over her boyfriend in the car. The father drove 35 mph while they argued. We can't predict how could the teen kid a violent expression of feeling in his/her behave when he/she become outburst furious (without thinkable) jump out from the car. How could you prevent this teen kid outburst than you are not predictable? It can be hurt to this teen kid.

My point is that, we need to not power struggle with teen kid in argument.

My son dyed a purple hair. I would not argue with him because I did rather him to dye his hair instead of involve drug or crime with other group. His hair will grow into natural when he becomes older. At first, I was really mad and upset because how he looks with purple color hair. I realized, he is still teenager. I would let him, what he likes to do. He is very good student with Honor Roll at High School. Why should we argue over color hair dye? I know, he will grow up and more realize.

Of course, we were discussed about sex when they were very young at 11 to 12 years old. They had a Health Education class at High School. They do not need repeat from the parents.

However, teenagers children who have shown academic desire and strength to grow and make a better future for themselves and their families. It would be counseling services to help them learn how to improve their self-esteem and self worth which will carry them successfully into a professional future.

I am posted this thread to encourage the parents about not struggle power with their teenager kids. Got it ??

 

[Kalista]

Douglas,
Think twice.. Teenagers are SAME all everyones?? Hell No.. Do not forget personallites all everyones who have..

Don't be expecting "purrrrfect teens" I had struggle my eldeson son , and who is 13 yrs old and pretty "pre-teen". I had try my best displinice him espically as far my concern about my son's future.. that's all I wanted to make sure he is OKAY.. Don't give him 100% pressure.. Just to remind him of my rules following up.. That's all.

yes, it is important to not be too firm or pressure on this teen kid. Your comment is BEAUTIFUL !! yes, exactly, we only try our best as we can to have an open communication with our teen kids.

Natural, it breaks my heart to seeing my son's forth friend died so far. I need to do balance how can we do deal ourselves. Make sure, both of us are aware how much we do love and cherish ourselves.

Power struggle is not worth ! Important, not let any teen kids involve in wrong group. Make an appointment with couneslor or particular Parents and Teen kids Group.

It took me a long way to resolve ourselves. Finally, we become more realize to not aruge each other for hours. For what ??? We can make the compromise each other.

As for chore in the house is still struggled for us. My friends of mine told me that their children who are over 18 years old have a difficult to deal with chore around in the house until they entrolled College. They realized how messy in their dorm. They came home for the hoildays then do clean in their bedrooms.

 

[Malfoyish]

I agree with Cheri. In fact, I'll always remember a friend of mine's method of dealing with her own teenaged kids. It's called the "love and logic" method. She listens. Talks. They come up with a reasonable solution, and problems are tackled immediately. The lines of communication are always open, as they should be. Teenagers are going through an awkward time to begin with - getting older, trying to fit in, peer pressure, puberty. The last thing they "need" are us parents forever being up their asses, right?

It is always sad to see a life curtailed when it could have been worked out. Best thing to do always is to talk, talk, talk. This is what I plan to practice on my own kids when they become teens.

 

[Mistyrose]

We can't teach our teenagers until they learn their own.

Are you telling us that we can't teach them teen kids about sex and safe-sex? That's such a lame thing from a parent to say that.

Let me tell you something about teenagers...some are soo stubborn they just wont listen or learn anything! There was a beautiful 16 year old girl in our town that got killed last week at the Lake..she and 3 older boys (18 and 19 yrs old) got drunk and she apparently was so drunk that she fell from a cliff and hit her head on a rock and ended up in the water...from what i understand they at high school teaches kids about the dangers of drinking ,drugs and unprotected sex all the time yet this girl who is a cheerleader did it anyways and it killed her! geez...guess the kids wont listen to anything like that. IF she had listened to the teachers, maybe she would be alive today.........its sad.

 

[Kalista]

Do You Know What Your Teen is Really Doing?

Parents sometimes don't have any idea what their child might be doing behind their backs.

Teens are smart and know how to outwit parents. If told to call and check in when they're out, they still will abide by the rules—it's what they're doing when they get off the phone that's the problem.

Many teens never feel the need for an emotional connection with their sexual partner—it's strictly a physical game. They live in the moment and don't think about the consequences of sex.

The stigma of having sex too young or too often seems to be absent—there's no sense of shame and there are few, if no boundaries drawn.

parents don't know what's going on with their teens is because teen slang is constantly evolving, and it's hard to keep up with their language. Here are a few new term.

Tossing Salad: giving oral sex anally.

Rainbow Parties: Oral sex parties. Girls put on different-colored lipstick and each puts her mouth around the penis of a boy who is there to receive favors.

Pretty Boy: A sexually active boy; a player.

Dirty: A girl who has an STD; a diseased girl.

High Five: A person who is HIV positive (High V).

Booty Call: An early morning or late night call that involves no relationship or emotional attachment.

Hoovering: An abortion.

Outercourse: Oral sex.

whoa, they were talking behine parents's back with different terms.

 

[Kalista]

Let me tell you something about teenagers...some are soo stubborn they just wont listen or learn anything! There was a beautiful 16 year old girl in our town that got killed last week at the Lake..she and 3 older boys (18 and 19 yrs old) got drunk and she apparently was so drunk that she fell from a cliff and hit her head on a rock and ended up in the water...from what i understand they at high school teaches kids about the dangers of drinking ,drugs and unprotected sex all the time yet this girl who is a cheerleader did it anyways and it killed her! geez...guess the kids wont listen to anything like that. IF she had listened to the teachers, maybe she would be alive today.........its sad.

It is very frustrated for all of the parents because the teen kids would rather to listen to themselves. They think, they did right all the way but not. It is scared to debate with teen kids because they know everything.

My heart goes to this girl.

 

[Mistyrose]

It is very frustrated for all of the parents because the teen kids would rather to listen to themselves. They think, they did right all the way but not. It is scared to debate with teen kids because they know everything.

My heart goes to this girl.

Yeah u are right!....Parents and teachers try to teach their kids about the dangers but they wont listen and they are curious to what alcohol and/or drugs are like..i guess this girl was curious about beer but it killed her instead.
She was a real pretty girl so it is so sad and such a waste of life.
My son knew the dangers of these stuff but he did it anyways but thank God nothing serious happened..some kids are not so lucky.