Not sure what to do

[Saavik]

I find it hard connecting with people, if not for my hearing, then because of my anxiety disorder. I'd just like at least one person to really understand me and know entirely who I am. I was thinking of asking my friend to read my diary, which aside from my counselor, nobody has ever read it, but it helped him get to know me and my issues very quickly.

I'm not sure what to do and I feel entirely isolated from everyone in the world and it would be nice to have someone who truly knows me. I need some advice here, please?

 

[Frisky Feline]

I wish I could give some advice but i dont. Few of my friends who have the same situtation as you do. They usually like to do on their own or ask me to come along, i think i am the only one who they felt comfortable with and I dont mind. i think i have lot of antiexty disorder in my relatives. Are you always been a quiet person when you are around people?? If so, try to talk a little more and see what happen from there.

 

[VacationGuy234]

That's too tall an order.. It takes time to get to know someone on that level. Find someone you trust first and leave the diary thing until you have built up A LOT of trust.

Be careful, us deaf tend to attract certain types of people so pick your friends with care.

 

[MangaReader]

That's too tall an order.. It takes time to get to know someone on that level. Find someone you trust first and leave the diary thing until you have built up A LOT of trust.

Be careful, us deaf tend to attract certain types of people so pick your friends with care.

Us deaf? Hearing people too. We are not unique. Anyone attracts certain types of people regardless hearing or deaf.

 

[Jiro]

I find it hard connecting with people, if not for my hearing, then because of my anxiety disorder. I'd just like at least one person to really understand me and know entirely who I am. I was thinking of asking my friend to read my diary, which aside from my counselor, nobody has ever read it, but it helped him get to know me and my issues very quickly.

I'm not sure what to do and I feel entirely isolated from everyone in the world and it would be nice to have someone who truly knows me. I need some advice here, please?

no. that's not a good idea. when a person connects with others.. it's for positive thing, right?

so you need to focus on yourself first before you move onto next step.

 

[VacationGuy234]

Us deaf? Hearing people too. We are not unique. Anyone attracts certain types of people regardless hearing or deaf.

Yes, that's true. But, we attract higher percentages. A person perceived as handicapped is more likely too attract people who will take advantage of them. People prey on people they perceive as weak.

And, yes, we are unique.

 

[Jiro]

Yes, that's true. But, we attract higher percentages. A person perceived as handicapped is more likely too attract people who will take advantage of them. People prey on people they perceive as weak.

And, yes, we are unique.

what? where in the god's name did you come up with that?

 

[rockin'robin]

Yes, that's true. But, we attract higher percentages. A person perceived as handicapped is more likely too attract people who will take advantage of them. People prey on people they perceive as weak.

And, yes, we are unique.

Do believe there's some Truth in that....

 

[Angel1989]

no. that's not a good idea. when a person connects with others.. it's for positive thing, right?

so you need to focus on yourself first before you move onto next step.

I agree with this 100%. For me personally when I got really sick and even today with my medical condition, a lot of my friends are just gone. I am not a complainer in any way in fact I tried to hide my health issues for years. People in general do not want to be with a person who is not fun. People want to be with others who add a positive to their lives. If one is down and has a load of issues, people will walk away. They do so because they do not want to be brought down. I'm not saying it is right, but it happens all the time.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

A counselor is not a friend and if they're really good at their job they're able to not react to what their patents tell them. They're trained to be objective , a friend on the other hand maybe not be objective and could be not be understanding . It's a risk , as you're opening yourself up to be judge by another person You can't expect a friend to read your diary and understand your inner feeling , that is too much to as of a person . Friendships take years to grow and become stronger , just be yourself around your friends and you'll be able to tell which friends love you for who are . You can't rush a friendship , it will also made you look too needy and people do not like that . You do have friends here , don't forget that.

 

[sierraiman]

I agree with this 100%. For me personally when I got really sick and even today with my medical condition, a lot of my friends are just gone. I am not a complainer in any way in fact I tried to hide my health issues for years. People in general do not want to be with a person who is not fun. People want to be with others who add a positive to their lives. If one is down and has a load of issues, people will walk away. They do so because they do not want to be brought down. I'm not saying it is right, but it happens all the time.

I agree with what Angel is saying here. I think before you try to depend on anybody else you first need to learn to find strength in yourself and then lean on others. Sadly, most other people will disappoint you if you open up too much and show them everything. They may not know how to handle what you tell them and thus may pull away. Anyway, focus on yourself. Loving yourself, growing as a person, etc. If you can improve in those ways I think it will make it easier to find good people to build relationships with and those relationships will be healthier.

 

[ambrosia]

I agree with this 100%. For me personally when I got really sick and even today with my medical condition, a lot of my friends are just gone. I am not a complainer in any way in fact I tried to hide my health issues for years. People in general do not want to be with a person who is not fun. People want to be with others who add a positive to their lives. If one is down and has a load of issues, people will walk away. They do so because they do not want to be brought down. I'm not saying it is right, but it happens all the time.

I was going to post something very similar!!

Ok I know I come off as harsh and um maybe mean, so don't take this the wrong way Saavik. It's just an observation, something to think about.

It's what Angel was talking about. Positivity, positive energy. Now I don't know if you are offline like you are here, but you kind of remind me of Eeyore. I think you should work on you first. Nobody wants to hang out with a Debbie downer.

I used to work with this lady that was sooo negative ALL the time. Nobody wanted to work with her because she just complained constantly, about everything, especially our job. Who wants to listen to how much your job sucks all day long. She could literally suck the happy out of people around her.

The whole diary and wanting someone to know you down to your bones is......unrealistic. That's a long process.

Personally I think it might be a good idea for you to get some Buddha books, maybe The Secret, although it's kind of annoying and boring I never finished. Your thoughts control your feelings, and every aspect of your life. From what I've seen you could use done thoughts retraining. It may sound silly or outlandish but I bet it would help.

 

[caz12]

i try put my life in compartments no one person is going to understand everything plus could be over whelming for them,sometimes let things unfold more gradually and friendship is two way thing if you learn about them dont let it all revolve around yourself....i done alot in this field and tomorrow i give you some life skills but to bloody late off to bedsoon

 

[caz12]

i tried the secret it was not for me but others been i think the samaitwns have lots of books ds course with then it nit easybut you findgreat help a;so ,eet friends in same th,i sorrymy eye sight gad rubso i stop

 

[whatdidyousay!]

That's too tall an order.. It takes time to get to know someone on that level. Find someone you trust first and leave the diary thing until you have built up A LOT of trust.

Be careful, us deaf tend to attract certain types of people so pick your friends with care.

And just who are these certain types of people are you attracting?

 

[rockin'robin]

Dunno who ur asking....but as for myself...I've attracted all kinds!...Users & Losers too...I've also had those who have came over...took a look at my house...talked a little...then asked me for $$.......some asking..."Do you drive"?....then wanting a "ride".....Just have to "weed out" these types...and I have.....

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Dunno who ur asking....but as for myself...I've attracted all kinds!...Users & Losers too...I've also had those who have came over...took a look at my house...talked a little...then asked me for $$.......some asking..."Do you drive"?....then wanting a "ride".....Just have to "weed out" these types...and I have.....

I was asking 'VacationGuy234 ' as he posted the comment, but anyone is free to response to it.

I think most people will met a person they want to be friend with and will find out as times goes by they're not compatible . I knew a woman I will called Sue that is hearing and she had a woman friend , I will call her Jane . Jane was asking Sue all kind of personal questions about her husband, and Sue thought nothing of it until she found out her Jane was having affair with her husband. Jane was pumping info out of Sue only to get her husband.
Sue had no idea one of her 'best' friend was sleeping with her man. So being able to hear does not keep you from attaching 'certain people' .

 

[green427]

I think you should work on you first.

This.


Saavik: Don't take it as a personal attack on you....take it as advice.

My observation: Most people who have a hard time connecting with others usually have some kind of social disorder....there are many, many underlying reasons. You are working with a counselor, which is a great start.

In order for people to be comfortable around you, you need to make them feel like you understand them, you listen to them, and you acknowledge their feelings. There are many folks out there that are unable to do this, not necessarily because they don't want to, but their ability to do so is restricted.

I have always had GAD since I became deaf, and have my own social issues....so you are not the only one.

Besides, I think your real issue is that you are not riding the right motorcycle.....you need to get a Triumph Street Triple, put some hard luggage on it, and ride like hell all over the continent. After Neil Peart lost his daughter & wife, he got a new R1100GS and put 50K miles on it in one year, just riding alone wherever the hell he felt like going, and came back in a much better state of mind.

Then again, we don't have money like Neil does.....

 

[dereksbicycles]

This.


Saavik: Don't take it as a personal attack on you....take it as advice.

My observation: Most people who have a hard time connecting with others usually have some kind of social disorder....there are many, many underlying reasons. You are working with a counselor, which is a great start.

In order for people to be comfortable around you, you need to make them feel like you understand them, you listen to them, and you acknowledge their feelings. There are many folks out there that are unable to do this, not necessarily because they don't want to, but their ability to do so is restricted.

I have always had GAD since I became deaf, and have my own social issues....so you are not the only one.

Besides, I think your real issue is that you are not riding the right motorcycle.....you need to get a Triumph Street Triple, put some hard luggage on it, and ride like hell all over the continent. After Neil Peart lost his daughter & wife, he got a new R1100GS and put 50K miles on it in one year, just riding alone wherever the hell he felt like going, and came back in a much better state of mind.

Then again, we don't have money like Neil does.....

Saavik would use something fast. Um, you know turbocharged or something like that.

 

[Saavik]

This.


Saavik: Don't take it as a personal attack on you....take it as advice.

My observation: Most people who have a hard time connecting with others usually have some kind of social disorder....there are many, many underlying reasons. You are working with a counselor, which is a great start.

In order for people to be comfortable around you, you need to make them feel like you understand them, you listen to them, and you acknowledge their feelings. There are many folks out there that are unable to do this, not necessarily because they don't want to, but their ability to do so is restricted.

I have always had GAD since I became deaf, and have my own social issues....so you are not the only one.

Besides, I think your real issue is that you are not riding the right motorcycle.....you need to get a Triumph Street Triple, put some hard luggage on it, and ride like hell all over the continent. After Neil Peart lost his daughter & wife, he got a new R1100GS and put 50K miles on it in one year, just riding alone wherever the hell he felt like going, and came back in a much better state of mind.

Then again, we don't have money like Neil does.....

I no longer have access to a counselor, so I'm literally alone with my thoughts now and it's hard to deal with alone.

I wonder if I just tell them I feel alone, lonely, isolated if that is a better idea, or would it only serve to be detrimental?

My Ninja cost me $2000 and I took out (and paid off) the personal loan for it. I don't have $12,799 just sitting around that I could blow on a motorcycle I think is ugly, I couldn't even get a loan for that either.

Saavik would use something fast. Um, you know turbocharged or something like that.

Wish I had the money to supercharge my Mustang.. Or change the oil, brake pads or even a wash would suffice.