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a.corley

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My father in law is 67 years old and has had pulmonary fibrosis for 4 years. He is on oxygen and supposed to be in a wheel chair. We are telling him it is not a good idea to drive and doctors have told him he shouldn't drive. But he is not listening. What do I do? Who can I talk to with out feeling like I am making it all worse?
 
a.corley said:
My father in law is 67 years old and has had pulmonary fibrosis for 4 years. He is on oxygen and supposed to be in a wheel chair. We are telling him it is not a good idea to drive and doctors have told him he shouldn't drive. But he is not listening. What do I do? Who can I talk to with out feeling like I am making it all worse?
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WHy are you asking for this information on a deaf forum?
 
wow

because I check it out for my autistic nephew and thought I could get some help. Srry.....
 
a.corley said:
My father in law is 67 years old and has had pulmonary fibrosis for 4 years. He is on oxygen and supposed to be in a wheel chair. We are telling him it is not a good idea to drive and doctors have told him he shouldn't drive. But he is not listening. What do I do? Who can I talk to with out feeling like I am making it all worse?
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Why is it not a good idea for him to drive?
 
I would recommend a meeting with adult protective services in your area.
 
a.corley said:
My father in law is 67 years old and has had pulmonary fibrosis for 4 years. He is on oxygen and supposed to be in a wheel chair. We are telling him it is not a good idea to drive and doctors have told him he shouldn't drive. But he is not listening. What do I do? Who can I talk to with out feeling like I am making it all worse?
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If he won't listen to family or his doctor, there isn't much you can do about it. Maybe you can at least talk him into limiting his driving to daylight hours. Maybe family and friends can offer to take him places he needs to go so he doesn't need to be on the road as often. Does he know about other options, such as TeleRide services? Maybe he'd be more willing to stop driving if he knew he wouldn't be stuck.

I don't know what the laws are for your state. You can check with your DMV to find out if there are any laws in place regarding risky drivers.
 
Because he is on oxygen 24/7 and he can't walk 10ft. without his lips turning blue. And I am starting to think he has dementia.
 
I drive him everywhere without argument. I love the time out with him, but he is getting very combative.
 
a.corley said:
I drive him everywhere without argument. I love the time out with him, but he is getting very combative.
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That is to be expected. As his oxygen levels drop, his combativeness and demtentia will probably worsen.
 
I'm sure you do. It is not an easy situation for the family to go through.
 
is there a Caregiver's support group near you that may be able to offer you resources?
 
We're going thru something similar with my MIL. She's on constant oxygen and uses a walker. She can see from only one eye. She's had a few falls where she can't get up. She's 83. A couple years ago she totaled her minivan (her fault). It's scary when she drives. She won't listen to anyone either. The only saving grace is that she doesn't like to get up and go places, so she's not on the road too much. Her daughter does the shopping and errands for her.
 
I guess I have been very lucky. My MIL requested that we move back to Florida to help her and she voluntarily gave up driving due to her vision problems (no peripheral vision and cataracts). My mother was a little harder, but understands why I will not let her drive. She has cirrhosis of the liver and dementia.

MIL, at 75, has been falling a lot lately and just this week got out of the nursing home from rehabilitation. My mother, at 72, doesn't fall, she just gets very confused. I am the driver for both of them as as my teens don't drive, I have to take them places as well. Family of six and only 2 drivers, myself and hubby.
 
Sounds familiar, the oxygen/dementia parts. Have you considered hiding the keys? Making a second set and move the car? I realize these are not ideal things to do, but if this is old age dementia, you MUST realize that the person in front of you is not the person you knew all your life, and they will NOT get better. Sure, there may be times when the lights flicker back on, but this is a serious thing. Other people could be affected by this.

You have my prayers for this difficult road ahead.
 
Have you considered getting a power of attorney or an order for guardianship? Ideally, you should get a power of attorney while the person is still competent. It's something that you can do yourself and there are forms online. Just be sure to get the correct form for your jurisdiction.
 
We just found out tonight that MIL will be able to renew her driver's license this year and the next four years by mail! No vision or driving test required. Sigh....
 
Reba said:
We just found out tonight that MIL will be able to renew her driver's license this year and the next four years by mail! No vision or driving test required. Sigh....
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Scary, innit? But the AARP has so much political weight that any attempt to create any sort of renewal process that requires re-testing can't and never will even get off the ground.
 
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