My Poem: Wind up doll

[coolgirlspyer90]

I was going through my stuff. And I found a poem that I wrote when i was about 8 years old. And I made a few changes to my poem. But I thought I'd share with you. I hope you like it. Please leave comments and what your opinions were on my poem. Thanks!

Wind-up Doll

Every morning a little girl,
At the age of 6,
Coming up to greet me.

She turns my knob
And I dance in circles.

I am me.
A figurine,
A mannequin.

I am that of a wind up doll.

One day,
She forgets about me,
Leaving me on a dusty shelf.
I tried to climb down,
But I fell.

I hid under her bed.
She never notice me,
not being on the shelve.
I feel nothing
But I do have emotions.

I am that of a wind up doll.

As she gets older
She doesn't remember me,
Day after day
Until at the age of 16.

She redecorates her bedroom
Her bedspread still remains the same.
I crawl out under her bed
And she looks down.
She picks me up and puts me on her desk.

I am that of a wind up doll

She turns my knob,
I dance
She smiles.
And she do remember.
She changes her clothes into her Pjs
She carried me into her bed and tucked me in.
And fell asleep with me.

I am that of a wind up doll.

 

[November Gypsy]

That's pretty good for an 8-year-old! I bet you're even better now! Keep up the good work, writing is good way of releasing fears and stress and nuturing all that is good and beautiful within us.

 

[Bottesini]

That was insightful for an 8 year old.

I liked your poem!

 

[dogmom]

I really enjoyed the poem too, thought it was very touching! Yes, very sensitive, what other things do u write? When I was a kid I drew a lot and wrote little stories all the time.

Thanks for sharing!