My daughter is being bullied! Help!

[JeepGirl]

Aww Rebelgirl

You're not ALONE in this, my two boys were being bullied while they were waiting for the school bus, and it got worse when the shovel and hitting became involved, what I did was called the bus transperation by letting them know about those 2 boys and one girl that were picking on my boys at the bus stop, and guess what? they live right next door from me, I had problems with them since the day I brought this house, they pick on my children every single a day, they damaage my home etc....I had called the cops so many times on them yet the cops wont do anything about it simple cause the mother kept denying her children had no involvement in any of what was reported....*sigh* RR create a thread about this a couple months ago, maybe if you can find it you will read what we went thru, it wasn't simple, you see the bully didn't end until one day my second son came home with a red mark on his face, that when I had enough, so the next day I went to the school and talked to the prinpical about what was going on, she did awesome, she took care of the problem just like that and it didnt happen again, every time something little would happen, she would always be the one stepping in and making sure it didn't happen again, since that day, the mother got fed up and started moving her children in a different bus stop, so what Im saying is keep calling your daugther's bus tranperation, and school until the problem stops cause once you let it keep happening then it would not stop until someone step in.....


Good luck and I hope everything will turn out good later.....I'll pray for you and your daugther

*hug*

you and i are very similar in this.. I'll explain later on since I'll answer to some questions. Thank you!

 

[JeepGirl]

True some things change back then as it did now, now some girls are more like " I'm all that *snapping their fingers *"

Am I right Rebel girl?....


hmmm the snapping finger part remind me of someone....

Yep, you're right! I'm seeing more and more girls becoming bullies, but majority of it is the boys are bullies.

 

[JeepGirl]

I am not sure Heath's (no offense) suggestion is the best because this is forcing Rebel to remove her daughter away from the problem........but the problem is still there and prolly getting worse. By removing her daughter away from the problem, she loses on the socialization opportunity on the bus ride, and some other things while the problem(the other gal and her mother and neighbor)will continue to grow. Parents can't be going around and altering their child's environment because there's a problem. Problems are a part of life, part of the growing up and maturation process, blah, blah but ya get my drift, right? Lance that boil in the best way you know how; don't shy/run away from the problem. I would start by inviting the Mom over for coffee after the bus leaves. I think that's the more natural, more obvious beginning.

Tousi, Heath's suggestion may not bet he best to solve problems that way but in my situation, I have talked to the bullie's mom twice. The mom denied that her kids are the bullies and didn't do crap about it so her girls continued to bully.

I haven't taken my daughter away from the problem cuz I knew it won't work that way but something has to be done when it goes too far. If my daughter and her friend were mad at each other.. I let her take care of that problem.. but when it comes to bullying that's a different story. It can lead to grades dropping, no motivations in doing any activities, being afraid all the time, looking out for her back.. There's where it leads to become a lonesome and no life because of it.

 

[Lil_country_gal]

I was bullied constantly on the bus and harassed by lots of people so my parents drive me to school and pick me it's lots of fun my dad made it really nice it's the only time i get to see him and my mom so i love it now when it first started my dad made it a time where we could talk and he would teach me lots of weird things so i agree with heath it might be a good idea to drive your daughter

 

[JeepGirl]

Rebelgirl and Angel, I agree with Tousi about
inviting bully mother for coffee chat as long as
you do NOT say "your daughter/son is a bully"
which will make their mothers more defensive and
just let bully kids see and observe that
you're having some coffee chat with their mothers and
this probably will make their kids less bully eventually
it is NOT going to happen overnight.
P.S. Being mother is one of the most difficult jobs.

Being a mother is one hell of a tough job! I love being a mother and all.. I feel for those who have more kids of their own. They have to work triple to make sure all their kids are safe. I have one child and its a little easier for me to handle. It sure is a tough job getting emotional with their feelings and sometimes you lose it! That's how I felt this morning but I'm okay and breathing alittle easier.

 

[Oakley_04]

Ive been bulled when i was in H.S. My brother which i am 2 years older than. his and his friend always made fun of me abt my deafness and mock me abt being in the swin team, it has been a BIG problem during senior year, my friends kept saying ingore them. i just kept it to myself as it build up and up. and even at home my brother friends came over and does this and my mom told them to stop cuz due to verbal abuse to each other and we have a little sister around. My mom told them if something happens its their problem cuz mom did warn and i was NICE enuff to pick them up and drop them off from school. and take them where they want to go. so one day i had with it and a sub teacher was taking over a math class and one of my brother friends ( its a she)
Her name was Steph Tanksley, and she said ohhh that boy likes to wear speedo and humps with his team mates. until the teacher called her i said oh there is that Tank-HO-fatty-dyke. real loud everyone was . my interpter was , and said she is soo HUGE and looks like a TANK.ofc got send to the prinecpal office, Steph is not a huge just to piss her off.
Of course she ran to my brother, he started shit with me and his friend join him, and insult me all the bad names so i just wealked away and my brother pushed me and i turned around and start a fight ofc i got send home and destory his drums and gutair. and they never bother me again, they try to be cool, i just say NO. and the sad part is Stephaie is one of my good friends now, we looked back and laugh abt it, she said she did this to make herself and my brother look bad ass and cool...ppfft

 

[Oakley_04]

rebelGirl, have u tried talking with the school?? is there a reason the 2 bully girls have bully your daughter?? or just they pick to pick on someone??

 

[JeepGirl]

On a note, I think this thread should move to Parent forum since it's about your daughter. What do you think, RebelGirl?

Yep good idea!

Mods.. please remove this thread to parents, thank you!

 

[JeepGirl]

^Angel^ you are correct on that one. I am reading and will post more... This has impact on me. I have been there. All I can say, REMEMBER COLUMBAINE!!!

I understand your pain, including ^Angel^. I know what your kids would want from you. I have been there and NEVER recieved the help I needed. Damage is done. Will explain what damage is done later on. Anyway, back to kids, GIVE them AMPLE support and LISTEN!!! Do NOT ever ignore them, or tell them to knock it off. It would NOT work! COMMUNICATE them as much as you can, and show them your effort to solve the problem. This can mean change school, and things like that. Give your kids as much support, they can become stronger and WILL respect you. School MUST do something TOO! Bullying, to me is one of most damaging to child's self esteem, and can become permanent damaged.

Now back to my own issue. I HATE school! And I hate my parents for doing NOTHING! Not even one support so far! I was NEVER good at school, all because of bullying issues! Today, still having trouble at college, even there is no bullies there! Why school? Well, they still blamed me for everything, I was like black sheep, always in wrong place, wrong time, and wrong reason and I get blamed. about 80% of time that I was blamed for troublemaking is not me! Yet school did NOTHING about it. Secondly, when I wanted to get into something new, like hobbies, etc. That was supposed to be boy scout, and electronics. I know I can be good @ electronics, however what I hate the most is that my school, at first offered me this, then I got excited, and guess what? They turned back on me!!! That FUCKIN school! Sorry, I had to say that because I am STILL angry at that school for playing games with my mind, and feelings. This including blaming me for causing somebody to bully on me. So many times, I feel want to blow up that school! I was so serious, and when I heard about Columbaine, I UNDERSTOOD that two teenager feelings! Mind you, I do NOT blame these two boys! They were though HELLISH, and I blame on Columbaine HS, parents, and everybody around who REFUSED to pay attention and DO something about this! Bully should by law NOT to be tolerated! PERIOD.
I had struggling at RIT/NTID. Its really hard on me still, and yes the damage is permanent. I wish that deaf school would never mess my mind. Sorry :madfuck: at school, named W.P.S.D.! (Hey alumni members, do not confront me! Damage is done! And if your one of my old bullies, GET LOST!)

Now that I have shared some of my traumatic experiences at WPSD, I do want to break that cycle, the best I can say, LISTEN to your own child, and DO something instead of dust it off.

I remember the Columbine school.. There was nothing that they could do then.. but if the parents, teachers and principal knew what was going on in their lives.. it would have prevent it from happening but can't save the whole world, you know.. but yes there's gotta be something done now before someone gets hurt.

I'm sorry you went thru such a hard time back in your old school days. its gotta be tough. i was bullied once in middle school and did tell teacher about it.. they did nothing til i went home and told mom about it.. my mom went to the principal and the girl that bullied me got suspended for 4 days from school. the girl stopped bothering me. That's the only time I remember getting bullied.

 

[JeepGirl]

hey rebelgirl,
i think that u can drop ur daughter off at school and pick her up.. SIMPLE! also u need talk school about that.. i wish that they talk to girl's mother abt that and make kick her out bus and make her and her mom learn lesson.. I WISH... but dang!

I thought about that but i had to reconsider it cuz i'm not going to run or let my daughter run away from problems. It'll make us look like a coward so we're going to face it and make it stop.. I'm going to fight.

 

[JeepGirl]

I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to your children. Definitely call the bus transportation office, and let them know that the children involved have been bullied and harrassed by this 2 kids. Call the school, make an appt. with the principal and the guidance counselor, to set up a meeting regarding this situation becoming way more serious than it already has. I know you mentioned that one of the kid's mom doesn't care, and it wouldn't hurt to have her come in too and hear from your children and this little girl along with her parent's, what these 2 bullies are doing. This child's mother may need a wake up call and realize that maybe this 11 year old is a victim too of the 15 year old putting her up to the bullying. I could be wrong about this, but, importantly, your children and the little girl have rights as well as safety, to get back and forth to school without being harrassed or bullied. There used to be a program several years ago, where students themselves would become Hall Monitors, also before/after school monitors, who would try settling problems between the students involved, and it had seemed to work out well.
In the meantime, your children and this little girl need to feel safe to and from school, and the bus transportation office and the school administration, need to be made aware of the fact that they are being harrassed and threatened. Good luck!!!!

Yeah, you're right about the bully.. she's a victim herself. her parents should be disciplining her and her sister too. They both are very troubled but they say they're christians. I don't hate them, I just want it to stop and my daughter isn't doing anything wrong to make her do that.

 

[JeepGirl]

Hey, some of you think I may lose my temper around here. Really, this is my expression I have in generally and I wasn't even having temper at all. I actually ask Cheri if she notice me losing temper? She watched me on cam all the way, and she said no. So, to make it clear I wasn't. Ask yourself, did I enlarge my font, like some people do? I almost never did! Also once you chat with me on AIM or in RL, you will understand me better.

It does offend me when a person who never been in their shoes and preach them what they thinks so. It DOES turns me off.

I don't think you're losing your temper, you are entitled to speak how you feel. I lost my temper this morning but only to myself. Didn't show it to the kids. We all once in a while lose temper. Nobody is perfect. But I didn't think you were losing your temper in your post. You made a great post!

 

[Cheri]

I thought about that but i had to reconsider it cuz i'm not going to run or let my daughter run away from problems. It'll make us look like a coward so we're going to face it and make it stop.. I'm going to fight.

Good girl! Your daughter will thanked you some days, that you're not avoiding the problem, You're dealing the problem by putting an end to it all, so nobody else gets hurt or bullied again.

 

[TweetyBird]

I thought about that but i had to reconsider it cuz i'm not going to run or let my daughter run away from problems. It'll make us look like a coward so we're going to face it and make it stop.. I'm going to fight.

what if they still and wont stop.. what will u do?

 

[JeepGirl]

Rebelgirl,
Do you know what the root cause of all this is? It would seem that something else has been taking place that you weren't aware of. Are they arguing at school over something (your daughter and the bully)? Has your daughter talked to you about what may have occurred and what is taking place? Once you have that information, I would suggest contacting the school and making an attempt to make contact with the other parent. Don't come screaming up into their front yard raising holy hell, but stop in and be calm and polite. Explain that something has been going on between the girls and you would like to put an end to it. If you go in there raising hell, they will just think your a nut and that their daughter is in the right.

Again, be sure to contact the school. I don't know what the schools are like there, but perhaps an administrator or guidance counselor will have a sit down with the other girl. Not only does this put the school on notice, but it shows to her that she is being put on notice as well.

First of all.. this is where I'm going to explain it all in this post.. and will answer your questions.

We're actually about 4 houses down from each other. We have 5 kids in our neighborhood, there was 1 more but moved away. We've lived here 3 years and the bully lived here 2 years. There was hardly any problems til we had a mother and daughter that lived next door. Her name is Taylor and she's 11. Taylor and my daughter became really good friends actually they're bestfriends.

That's where the bully comes in.. she and taylor had become friends as well. The bully doesn't like my daughter, never have cuz she's too young and little. The bully told Taylor not to be my daughter's friend. Taylor told her that they're bestfriends and she wasn't going to stop them for being friends. Starting from there, the bully started to bully Taylor, making fun of her, calling her names, etc. Taylor and her mom moved away cuz they couldn't stand the neighbors. So, my daughter started playing with other kids and they were getting along just great. I assumed the bully got jealous and told the kids stuff about my daughter and told them not to be jaci's friend.. same cycle.

Now, when I heard all of this going on.. I confronted her mother and her mother said her girls weren't doing anything wrong. So, I just told my daughter to stay away from her and her sister and just play with whoever want to play with her.

Every morning, when I take her to the bus stop, the bully and her sister uses my deafness and will say things about me and my daughter. I could never get what she was saying. Finally this morning I caught what she said, I understood loud and clear what she has been telling the kids here. So, I hollared at her and told her she better not touch or hurt my daughter.

 

[JeepGirl]

what if they still and wont stop.. what will u do?

Like I said.. I'm going to fight.. We're not the cowards.. and we're not going to let them run us away..

 

[Heath]

That lousy mother is a bitch to take advantage of you !!!! She got it coming to her pretty soon her own kids will blow up right in front of her when they are in their teenage years.... she will get it so bad... just do the right thing and go through the steps... I still would say drive her to school and back home for a while until something is worked out and you have evidence that positive action was taken to solve the problem at hand.

 

[JeepGirl]

RebelGirl I'm so sorry about your daughter. It is every parents nightmare. I wish I could do more to help, but I found a link and thought it might be interesting for you and everyone else to read. It's not a long one.

What to do about bullying
http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/bullies.html

Wow! all that made sense! That's exactly what my daughter is going thru and that's how the bully is reacting. every word of it! it sure did take the fun out of school for my daughter. She has no motivation for anything anymore. I'm going fight back and get her back to normal like she used to. Thanks for the link, saxxy cat!

 

[TweetyBird]

Like I said.. I'm going to fight.. We're not the cowards.. and we're not going to let them run us away..

allright go for it..

 

[JeepGirl]

rebelGirl, have u tried talking with the school?? is there a reason the 2 bully girls have bully your daughter?? or just they pick to pick on someone??

This is for everyone here that's concerned..

I talked to the principal, the principal is going to get the bus driver, my daughter and the bully together tomorrow morning in the office. They're going to get it straightened out and will let me know how it went. The principal told me that if my daughter continues to be afraid or be bothered by her again, I can call the school and for me to have a meeting with them include the bully's parents too. We'll go from there. This is just a start, so we'll know what happens next.

THANK YOU ALL FOR CARING! THAT HAS HELPED ME ALOT TO GET SOME SUGGESTIONS AND IT HAS CALMED ME DOWN TOO!

everyone!