Married ladies and Men

If it really is a problem for you, then you need to have a serious one-on-one talk with him and explain that it would really help if he would learn sign language for you.

I'm hard-of-hearing and some people consider me oral since I talk with hearing people and sign with deaf people. I can hear well, but I don't expect to hear well for the rest of my life. That's why I would rather have a deaf woman as a wife who signs.

I do have deaf friends who dated hearing people, but at the end... it usually didn't work out. I do know where deaf/hearing relationships actually end up working out... when the hearing person is a CODA.
 
SilentRider said:
Hey, I don't blame u for hoping your ex woulId learn ask out of love. See now he's probably only now learning when it got into his head he can earn $$ as a interpter. It was for money so yeah .. true colors eh?

:hmm:
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no, he is not an interpreter. If anything, he is more likely to be a Spanish/English translitator than an ASL terp.

He just got motivated to learn from his first ex girlfriend who was hearing so that was the irony. That was 10 years ago.
 
Come to think of it, communications between the two love one, either verbally or ASL, if they speak equally, they are in a deep comfort zone, no miscommunication, misinterpretation and they can speak/sign fluently and bring bonding closer together. Here's the picture below:

Hearing to Hearing using verbal communication:
Sitting in the family room watching TV with fire
Woman: Ahh, the fire is beautiful, it's so nice and warm (she snuggle closer to her beau)
Man: Yeah, you know what, it's so nice to have you around together. I really enjoyed it.
Woman: Me too! (they hugged togther)

ASL user to ASL user:
Sitting in the family room watching TV with fire
Woman: Ahh, the fire is beautiful, it's so nice and warm (she snuggle closer to her beau)
Man: Yeah, you know what, it's so nice to have you around together. I really enjoyed it.
Woman: Me too! (they hugged together)

ASL user to non-ASL user:
Sitting in the family room watching TV with fire
Woman: (signed) Ahh, the fire is beautiful, it's so nice and warm (she snuggle closer to her beau)
Man: (voice and waving her) what? say again!
Woman: (she repeated again trying to use her horrible voice slowly along with signing)
Man: Oh Oh yeah, you know what, it's so nice to have you around together. I really enjoyed it.
Woman: (signed) again, say again.
Man: (voice) Ahh.. yeah, fire is really nice.
Woman: It's perfect night.
Man: (waving at her) Mmmm?
Woman: (dreaming: sigh I wish he learn to sign) (voice and sign) Nice!
Man: Ahh..got it (thumbed up)
They turned their head back to TV

Can you all see the big differences? The more they miscommunicate, the shorter it get. Which is very common.

So, if he or she does not want to learn sign, this is what you will get for the rest of the life, in this kind of communication above.
 
Jaspheth said:
:shock: I've never run into a married man that has indicated he'd like something more. Marriage to me is sacred and it's something that I don't feel that is respected enough. The ones you've run into are a shame and should not have married to begin with if they still act like they are single. When you marry it's no longer "me" or "I". It's "us", "we".

I'd like to hear more! I've been hit on by single men who were not aware I was married but never have I been bothered by a married man and single or not if one does show me attention I ignore them. Ah, yes window shopping is ok but that is all. :) Men do it all the time just don't touch! It's a no, no!

Have you had a married woman hit on you before? It sounds like it!:laugh2:

Best advice I can give is to run, and run as fast as you can in the other direction. :eek3:
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Oh yea, I've been hit on by married women. Come to think of it, I wonder if my hearing played a role it it?

Back on topic: If you take this particular case of a married couple that can't decide on using ASL, how can the deaf community expect the entire hearing world to adopt it. If you can't get your husband to do it, how are you going to get the stranger down the street to do it. You can call people audist until your tongue falls out, but it isn't going to change anything.
 
I accidentally ran into a local group of ASL teachers by Town Center Mall. They saw my wife and I signing - she is deaf, I am HoH. I have their business card somewhere - would you like the info?
 
Steinhauer said:
I accidentally ran into a local group of ASL teachers by Town Center Mall. They saw my wife and I signing - she is deaf, I am HoH. I have their business card somewhere - would you like the info?
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No, I have a better group of people right here that will give me better answers. :cool2:
 
Steinhauer said:
I accidentally ran into a local group of ASL teachers by Town Center Mall. They saw my wife and I signing - she is deaf, I am HoH. I have their business card somewhere - would you like the info?
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You're married?
 
Jaspheth said:
I cannot for the life of me get my husband to learn ASL. I am Oral Deaf but wish to use ASL. How did you get your Wife/Husband to learn ASL? What was the turning point? Did any marriages end over lack of communicating despite loving each other? Although I love my husband I sometimes do wonder if I'd be happier with a Deaf man. But I'm willing to grow old with this guy. He's only interested in learning the bad words and racial slurs in ASL. He likes to use the sign for flat nose to refer to an african american and would just laugh. This was just annoying and just down right rude for him to do. If he wants sex he'll do the crude uh, finger in hole sign from across the room....or the sign for condom.
c'mon now...:giggle: I'm rolling my eyes typing this. He acts like no one else knows sign and it's just embarrassing when he does the crude signs in public thinking he's communicating with me only in some kind of morse code forgetting that ASL is actually offered as a college course.

He's young-29. So am I. Think he'll be doing the same when he's 40?

:giggle:
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I think this highlights the reason ASL teachers and the deaf community in general refrain from teaching "adult content" signs to beginners - even if the beginners are adults. From my experience, these types of signs are only shared with learners who have proven a certain level of SL competency, respect, and understanding and, even then, never shared in isolation.
 
mbrek said:
^^^Shoot, even I knew that.
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I swear this is the first time I've seen him mention a current wife. I have seen him post a ton about his ex-wife who used and abused him horribly. I'm not saying he's making it up, but it just surprises me given how much he's posted about his ex.
 
SneakerNet said:
ASL user to ASL user:
Sitting in the family room watching TV with fire
Woman: Ahh, the fire is beautiful, it's so nice and warm (she snuggle closer to her beau)
Man: Yeah, you know what, it's so nice to have you around together. I really enjoyed it.
Woman: Me too! (they hugged together)
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No, that's not ASL work. It goes like...

Woman: Ahh, the fire is beautiful, it's so nice and warm (she snuggle closer to her beau)
Man: Yeah, you know what, it's so nice to have you around together. I really enjoyed it. (woman cracked her neck enough to see his sign)
Woman: Me too! (they hugged together)

:D
 
PowerON said:
No, that's not ASL work. It goes like...

Woman: Ahh, the fire is beautiful, it's so nice and warm (she snuggle closer to her beau)
Man: Yeah, you know what, it's so nice to have you around together. I really enjoyed it. (woman cracked her neck enough to see his sign)
Woman: Me too! (they hugged together)

:D
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No, actually it's more like this:

Woman: Me Too! (They hugged...kisses....censor)
 
Jaspheth said:
I cannot for the life of me get my husband to learn ASL. I am Oral Deaf but wish to use ASL. How did you get your Wife/Husband to learn ASL? What was the turning point? Did any marriages end over lack of communicating despite loving each other? Although I love my husband I sometimes do wonder if I'd be happier with a Deaf man. But I'm willing to grow old with this guy. He's only interested in learning the bad words and racial slurs in ASL. He likes to use the sign for flat nose to refer to an african american and would just laugh. This was just annoying and just down right rude for him to do. If he wants sex he'll do the crude uh, finger in hole sign from across the room....or the sign for condom.

c'mon now...:giggle: I'm rolling my eyes typing this. He acts like no one else knows sign and it's just embarrassing when he does the crude signs in public thinking he's communicating with me only in some kind of morse code forgetting that ASL is actually offered as a college course.

He's young-29. So am I. Think he'll be doing the same when he's 40?

:giggle:
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No offense but why do you love him if he is doing that? He have no respect period. This is a huge red flag so run! Why you'd hoping that he will change? From what I can see from your description that you are hopeful that he will change. Girl nobody will change him only himself change for who he is not you not everybody else.
 
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