Informing people you read lips

I don't see why it would have to be better to use pen and paper than to lipread. Sure, it's probably better for some people, but if you can lipread and don't mind doing it, why shouldn't you be able to?
Hearing people usually assume that Deaf/HoH people can lipread anyways. Someone told me once that while not all Deaf/HoH can lipread, pretty much all can lipread one sentence: "Can you read lips?" Then when you answer "No," they get all pissed off because "Well you just read that!" I never assume anyone can lipread. I usually mouth what I'm signing, but more because it's helpful to me than anything else. I dunno if anyone I'm signing to ever pays attention to my lips or not. It also helps the Hearing people around me know what I'm talking about.
Lipreading shouldn't be the only accepted method of communication between Deaf and Hearing cultures, but it's a useful tool and a remarkable talent. I'm hearing, and I can't even lipread. Don't sell it short.
 
loldrey said:
I don't see why it would have to be better to use pen and paper than to lipread. Sure, it's probably better for some people, but if you can lipread and don't mind doing it, why shouldn't you be able to?
Hearing people usually assume that Deaf/HoH people can lipread anyways. Someone told me once that while not all Deaf/HoH can lipread, pretty much all can lipread one sentence: "Can you read lips?" Then when you answer "No," they get all pissed off because "Well you just read that!" I never assume anyone can lipread. I usually mouth what I'm signing, but more because it's helpful to me than anything else. I dunno if anyone I'm signing to ever pays attention to my lips or not. It also helps the Hearing people around me know what I'm talking about.
Lipreading shouldn't be the only accepted method of communication between Deaf and Hearing cultures, but it's a useful tool and a remarkable talent. I'm hearing, and I can't even lipread. Don't sell it short.
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Thank you. I like what you said. I agree with you.

Yes, I understand sign language a lot better when I can read lips along. It's not my first language, so that's probably why, but when I try to understand sign language from youtube.com without mouthing the words or tv interpreters, it's hard to understand for me.

I have to meet deaf people to practice sign language. I know there are deaf people that are strong in sign language (grew up with signs), and they still need to read lips with signs to understand.
 
ClearSky said:
Thank you. I like what you said. I agree with you.

Yes, I understand sign language a lot better when I can read lips along. It's not my first language, so that's probably why, but when I try to understand sign language from youtube.com without mouthing the words or tv interpreters, it's hard to understand for me.

I have to meet deaf people to practice sign language. I know there are deaf people that are strong in sign language (grew up with signs), and they still need to read lips with signs to understand.
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It's funny, because I've known some sign for a while but it was only recently that I developed an interest in learning fluent ASL. As soon as I started really trying to learn, I ended up making a bunch of friends who were deaf, just by chance. Since I've started hanging out with these people on a regular basis, my signing has really started improving. My friend's grandmother (who is also deaf, along with all of her brothers, her mother, and her cousin) has been helping me out a lot too. Being around people who sign all the time and that being my only way to communicate with them has been reaaaaaaallly helpful to me. I was scared at first that I wouldn't be able to communicate or I'd use the wrong sign and offend someone but they're really great because if I mess up a sign they correct me, and if I look like I'm not understanding, they'll fingerspell things for me. It's a lot of fun to learn, too.

Sorry, my rant was a little off topic but what you said about being around deaf people to learn sign sort of made me type a lot of stuff, lol.
 
David said:
If you tell people that you are deaf and you need to read lips, that gives them the impression that all deaf people read lips. Therefore, hearies will start to expect deafies to read lips.
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LOL!! That was a funny insight. I didn't expect you to say that the hearing people will start to expect deafies to read lips. Hahhaaa.

Don't know if all deafies can actually lip read well. That is what I would like to find out. But I have met a very few good deafies that can extremely lip read really really well. TOO POWER!!
 
ohiit said:
LOL!! That was a funny insight. I didn't expect you to say that the hearing people will start to expect deafies to read lips. Hahhaaa.

Don't know if all deafies can actually lip read well. That is what I would like to find out. But I have met a very few good deafies that can extremely lip read really really well. TOO POWER!!
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I used to think I was the world's best lip reader, though I always hated it. Now, I seem to be able to do it for less and less time before it just makes me tired like I wanna take a nap. And I'm needing longer and longer breaks before I'm refreshed and it doesn't give me a headache. Otherwise, my brain goes, "NOOOOO please, not again!" and tries to convince me it's bed time in an attempt to get me to avoid lip reading.
 
SimplyMints, I agree, I am sometimes simply at a loss to have desire to read lips. When I try do it all night at work, my temples hurt like heck in the mornings and by the time shift is over woahhh need a break. I am getting better at reading lips over time, but its not an "effortless" ability to obtain.
 
AlleyCat said:
ClearSky, I knew you were not saying every deaf person can lipread. I was only saying that I've never really found the need to tell people up-front that I'm lip-reading them. But every once in a while I do get someone who keeps walking away from me and I can't lipread them anymore, and in that case I do have to say something. I guess as long as that kind of situation isn't happening, then I just don't say anything, that's all .. Like you said, whatever form of communication each individual person needs is fine.
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Likewise same here.
 
As a professional entertainer who interacts with people a lot both during my shows and after them. I run into this all the time.

In a casual situation I usually don't tell them I'm deaf unless I need to. In other words if they say something and I didn't catch it I'll say something along the lines of, "I'm deaf so I have to see your face when you talk. What was that?"

Now if they give me that look like the OP was talking about. Sometimes people even freeze when you tell them and have the look on their face as if they are saying, "What do I do now?" I keep a smile on my face and no pressure them. Use visual communication to put them at ease. If that doesn't work the best thing to do is use a bit of humor about it. For example I've said things like, "Oh, you can talk to me normally. I'm deaf but my friend over there is the dumb one". Or perhaps something like, "It's dark in here I can't hear you".

This is the reason I use humor about being deaf in my shows. Some people aren't sure what to do when they meet a deaf person. They aren't all bad people. It's just something they aren't used to. If you can relax them over that matter then things will get a lot easier. When I can be open and humorous about it it's like saying, "Ok, now you know that I'm not bothered by it. There's no need for you to be bothered by it either". My way of doing that is through humor. Your way may be different but the goal is to just ease the situation away so you can relax about it and move on. A lot of times the way they respond (Freeze up, start to talk funny or slow, etc...) is because they are worried they'll offend you.

If I can't ease the situation then I don't worry about it. In that case I'm not the one who is having trouble. They are and if they can't find way to get their message across to me then that's their failure not mine. After all they are the ones who want to say something.

I don't know how helpful this will be for all of you but I just thought I'd share how I deal with it.

Ron Jaxon
 
Ron Jaxon,

Thank you for your response. Yes, it appears that there will probably always be a few people that'll never keep calm no matter what you tell them.

I have thought about the being humorous to break the tension, but I am not good at being humorous. It's why it's hard for me, so I believe we just have to deal with forgetting the few that refuse to communicate with us.
 
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