I'm Hearing and Confused...Need your help

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MonicaCane

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A few months ago I started learning ASL online. I really enjoy the language and seem to connect with it much better than the language of my own heritage interestingly enough.

As I build my vocabulary in ASL, I realize I can learn the language better if I spent time interacting with people in the deaf community in my area.

This has been a challenge in itself because there doesn't seem to be much of a deaf community in my town.
However last week, I discovered there is a woman at my church who is deaf and I hopefully will have the opporunity to introduce myself soon.

But here is my dilemma:

Most of my understanding of the deaf community at this point is through what I read. And what I have read (whether online, in books, chat-groups) as left me with mixed feeling because of the two ways it seems that a hearing person learning ASL is perceived by a deaf person:

#1 People who are HOH or Deaf and know ASL are very appoachable and willing to help hearing people learn their language and make a new friend.

#2 People who are HOH or Deaf are easily offended by hearing people who are "trying to learn their language" Since a hearing person can't really relate, it's seems to be taken as if a hearing person is patronizing the deaf person in some way..

Reading these two opposing view points, causes me to worry about approaching a deaf person until I'm REALLY good in ASL but who knows how long that will take.

I don't want to stumble through the language and somehow give a deaf person the impression that I'm learning ASL to "do them a favor" or using them for my own learning....

I find ASL to be a wonderful language, and I just want to learn and speak with new friends who know it..... that its!!!


I would love feedback from Deaf and HOH who can advise on how to proceed? ANd if the two view points I seem to read a lot about are correct???


Thank you
 
Ok, not every hearing people will want to learn ASL. People are different. You know, some people thinks that it's possible to teach deaf ferrets ASL. Some people thinks that is impossible to even try.

Yes, people are different. That is what makes the world an exciting place to be.
 
MonicaCane said:
But here is my dilemma:

#1 People who are HOH or Deaf and know ASL are very appoachable and willing to help hearing people learn their language and make a new friend.

#2 People who are HOH or Deaf are easily offended by hearing people who are "trying to learn their language" Since a hearing person can't really relate, it's seems to be taken as if a hearing person is patronizing the deaf person in some way..

Reading these two opposing view points, causes me to worry about approaching a deaf person until I'm REALLY good in ASL but who knows how long that will take.

I don't want to stumble through the language and somehow give a deaf person the impression that I'm learning ASL to "do them a favor" or using them for my own learning....
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I don't understand this, I truly don't.
Why should the deaf be treated any differently than any other people using a foreign language? Your dilemma seems like this: 1. woo hoo I can't wait to teach you ASL or 2. how dare you learn my ASL.

Nobody likes to be "used" for any reason. If you meet a deaf person who knows ASL, just ask them if they'd show you some signs and take it from there. And be their friend. That's not "using" someone. :)

I've said it here before that my native language is Italian. I spent my early childhood in Italy in an Italian culture. If someone is learning Italian, they can ask and even though I may not volunteer to be their tutor, I'd be happy to throw some words back and forth to help them. Maybe another Italian wouldn't want to be bothered with even that. I'd say the deaf are like that. There's no rule or just one way of thinking among them.

I am hearing and my advice to you is not to treat deaf like extra-sensitive people that you're scared to offend. They're just like every one else in that it depends on the person if they want to bother with you or not. Being so scared of offending them and walking on eggshells with them is just like treating them like there's something wrong with them.

Now I hope my deaf friends here chime in and either kick my butt or say you go girl!:giggle:
 
Mimsy said:
I don't understand this, I truly don't.
Why should the deaf be treated any differently than any other people using a foreign language? Your dilemma seems like this: 1. woo hoo I can't wait to teach you ASL or 2. how dare you learn my ASL.

Nobody likes to be "used" for any reason. If you meet a deaf person who knows ASL, just ask them if they'd show you some signs and take it from there. And be their friend. That's not "using" someone. :)

I've said it here before that my native language is Italian. I spent my early childhood in Italy in an Italian culture. If someone is learning Italian, they can ask and even though I may not volunteer to be their tutor, I'd be happy to throw some words back and forth to help them. Maybe another Italian wouldn't want to be bothered with even that. I'd say the deaf are like that. There's no rule or just one way of thinking among them.

I am hearing and my advice to you is not to treat deaf like extra-sensitive people that you're scared to offend. They're just like every one else in that it depends on the person if they want to bother with you or not. Being so scared of offending them and walking on eggshells with them is just like treating them like there's something wrong with them.

Now I hope my deaf friends here chime in and either kick my butt or say you go girl!:giggle:
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:wave:
 
Mimsy said:
...my advice to you is not to treat deaf like extra-sensitive people that you're scared to offend. They're just like every one else in that it depends on the person if they want to bother with you or not. Being so scared of offending them and walking on eggshells with them is just like treating them like there's something wrong with them.
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That's good advice. Just treat us like you have treated any other people. We're pretty much normal people. :)
 
That's great advice. Dont confuse uninterested for offended. A native English speaker might not want to spend time talking to someone learning English, Hopefully, they just say so and move off. If they act offended or are rude, then they are just that... rude. It isnt because they are American.

I think hearing people often confuse bluntness from a Deaf person for rudeness or offense. Deaf tend to be more direct.
 
I'm HOH and working on my ASL, too, and am constant worried that I'm doing something offensive. Luckily, if you make a friend in the Deaf community, you can with them if you think something might not be well-received, much like if you are visiting a new country for the first time.
 
Great feedback. Thank you!

Truth is, I am very sensative to offended people in general whether they are deaf, hearing, bald, blind...etc....it doents matter. I know from personal experience that well-meaning people can say very foolish things and so I've always been sensative in that area. I would never want to purposely offend anyone....

Thanks Again!
 
I was born hard of hearing went to hearing schools as a adult I lost all my hearing I'm very very oral did learn sign language however a lot of deaf people I've met over the years felt uncomfortable bec I was able to communicate with hearing people my speech is 99 percent understandable I overcame the odds of becoming a licensed blood bank lab technician growing up I was never around deaf kids ii started associating with the deaf community until I was in my 20s even today I still have plms being accepted by the deaf community due to my oralism I'm called a "hearie" by a lot of deaf people bec I speak more than I use sign language I grew up speaking if u want to chat e mail me at lenalpert 28@tmo.blackberry.net
 
I know exactly what you mean by the 2 groups. Its either someone with strong ASL deaf pride believing that the world owes them a favor, or the ones who can perceive that we are all the same kind of people who are just simply trying to be friends and help each other.

I found that no matter where I go in life, I can easily substitute the above statement with anything. for example - black people vs white people. west side vs east side. usa vs china. workers vs management.

From this point of view- you will see its the same no matter where you go, its the type of friends/company you keep/make that fits YOUR lifestyle.

From your first post- you seem to be on the fence as you are diving into the deaf world. I wish the best of luck and wishes to you - hope you make the right decision.
 
You are so right about there being 2 types of groups/side with just about anything. Well put!

As for me, I have simply chosen to learn a second language and that language is ASL. I would imagine the best way to learn any language is by digging in and finding out more about the overall culture.

I am hoping I will make many friends along the way, as I learn....

Thanks for you comments : )
Monica

radioman said:
I know exactly what you mean by the 2 groups. Its either someone with strong ASL deaf pride believing that the world owes them a favor, or the ones who can perceive that we are all the same kind of people who are just simply trying to be friends and help each other.

I found that no matter where I go in life, I can easily substitute the above statement with anything. for example - black people vs white people. west side vs east side. usa vs china. workers vs management.

From this point of view- you will see its the same no matter where you go, its the type of friends/company you keep/make that fits YOUR lifestyle.

From your first post- you seem to be on the fence as you are diving into the deaf world. I wish the best of luck and wishes to you - hope you make the right decision.
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