I'm ashamed of showing my disabilities (Glasses, Hearing Aids etc...)

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HearingImpaired

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Hello, this is my first post.
I feel really embarrassed by my hearing aids and glasses, especially since I am in my early 20s and disabilities are often viewed as weaknesses. I also have a condition called Aspergers which makes me socially awkward. I especially struggle with making friends because of Aspergers but the fact that I can't hear people properly when I don't wear my hearing aids because I'm ashamed of them really doesn't help. Also what kind of a girl wants to date someone who has not one but three disabilities? I'm average looking, socially awkward, hearing impaired, I wear glasses and I'm not much of a conversationalist. My only advantage is my extremely high IQ and that doesn't really help in making friends with or dating 'normal people'...
Are you ashamed of your disabilities? Are you able to date and make friends? Do you have any advice for me? Thanks!
 
If you act embarrassed of yourself, then you've shown other people how to treat you. What you give out is what you get back.

Welcome to AD, hope you'll like it here.
 
As I grew into my 20's and 30's, my hearing issue was seen less as a weakness. You are not going to experience the same situations you did when you were a teenager. There will still be difficulties, but as an adult there is not as much group mentality.

Yes, I've made other friends and dated more women in my adult life.

You're not alone in what you are going through, however, you do have two distinct issues. To handle the Asperger's I would seek professional counseling as it is a greater issue to handle, IMO.

It's never going to be the same as someone without the issues you experience, but once you understand this life gets better.

You can't look negatively on your disposition, you just have to understand that you are just in a different position.
 
Try not to dwell on these things. The are part of whobyou are not all that you are. Don't be ashamed. Be proud of what you have done in life, and what you have to offer : )
 
Well welcome to AD. First thing first..I think you should stop feeling sorry for yourself..kinda sounds like an "oh woe is me" type deal. Second, if you hate glasses get contacts, you can't really get around the whole hearing aid thing to hear cuz you kinda need them but wear your hair down if it bothers you so much ..

I wear glasses sometimes I have a severe/profound hearing loss so I wear power hearing aids that are very noticeable and I have ADD etc..I don't let things get me down tho..if someone doesn't like ME for me..then they are not worth my time!
 
My advice (promise I mean this kindly):

1. Deaf/glasses not "disabilities"

2. Hearing impaired = Non-deaf person after 8 beer

3. "Normal" not word which describe people

These all words deaf community work hard eliminate. My advice, stop use them now...find deaf community close you...stop pity party...stop be embarrass things you cannot change! You perfect just how you are.

And welcome.
 
A lot of people wearing glasses so that should not made you feel ashamed of yourself. Can you wear contact lens ? If you let your hair grown a little longer
it will help hide your HA. You can get ear molds that can't be seen in your ear.
My niece has Asperger and she been dating her boyfriend for 2 years now and he has Asperger. He not what you would call 'handsome'. He is very sweet and really love my niece and they made a real cute couple together. My niece and her boyfriend both thought they would never find someone. It would help if you could try not to feel so ashamed of yourself, this will only made people not want to hang out with you. I will tell you something my 93 years old mom told my niece. Mom said to my her granddaughter " Now dear remember to keep your head up and your chest out!" I never knew my mom was so wise! It helped, my niece got her man!
I hope you have someone to talk to help you gain more confidence in yourself.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
It would help if you could try not to feel so ashamed of yourself, this will only made people not want to hang out with you. I will tell you something my 93 years old mom told my niece. Mom said to my her granddaughter " Now dear remember to keep your head up and your chest out!" I never knew my mom was so wise! It helped, my niece got her man!
I hope you have someone to talk to help you gain more confidence in yourself.
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To quote the above poster, "It would help if you could try not to feel so ashamed of yourself, this will only made people not want to hang out with you."

This is completely true. I was once in the same boat as the OP; I have NF2, I could barely walk, I'm deaf (was HOH in school), I'm overweight...the list goes on and on. I too used to be socially awkward and barely had any friends, but I realized when I was about 16 that we all have struggles and we must overcome them or as what your grandma might tell you "when life hands you lemons make some lemonade"

I try no to act like my "disabilities" are present. I can make a joke about being deaf, about being overweight, etc, etc. And the people around me always get a kick out of it and tell me that I dont let things bother me. OP, you will grow in to your shell, just try to be outgoing and stop feeling sorry for yourself, that's the best thing I can say for you
 
I agree with the above. It's hard to swallow, but feeling sorry for yourself really does you no good. I don't know about anyone else, but I naturally gravitate to people who are sure of themselves and self-confident.

My brother has Aspergers, and he is functioning just fine. Believe me, it is totally conquerable if you just embrace it (and for the record, the majority general population wears glasses and/or contacts, so I wouldn't count that as a "disability", even in the hearing world).

I was in your shoes at one point, having six disabilities, but once I went "f*** that" everything turned up. :)

Good luck!
 
I agree with everyone above me.

I was born with a hole in my spine and am in a wheelchair. I've had over 30 surgeries in my lifetime.

I also have been wearing glasses since I was nearly 2 yrs old. Talk about sticking out like a sore thumb!!! But, does it bother me? No, it doesn't. First of all, the wheelchair gives me the mobility I wouldn't have otherwise.

My parents were told from the time I was born that I wouldn't live past infancy. I'm in my forties now, and doing well considering all my medical issues.

I now can add chronic pain to that list due to widespread arthritis. But, I face each day as it comes and try to find the positives in everything.

People can be jerks. Life isn't always fair. It sometimes sucks, but if you feel sorry for yourself, that will be reflected back to you. As someone said above, if you really dislike your glasses, try contacts. Even better, try looking at your strengths instead of your weaknesses and maybe you'll see that your "disabilities" really aren't that hard to live with.
 
having disabilities does not make you weak. please stop being ashamed and embrace who you are!!
 
HearingImpaired said:
Hello, this is my first post.
I feel really embarrassed by my hearing aids and glasses, especially since I am in my early 20s and disabilities are often viewed as weaknesses. I also have a condition called Aspergers which makes me socially awkward. I especially struggle with making friends because of Aspergers but the fact that I can't hear people properly when I don't wear my hearing aids because I'm ashamed of them really doesn't help. Also what kind of a girl wants to date someone who has not one but three disabilities? I'm average looking, socially awkward, hearing impaired, I wear glasses and I'm not much of a conversationalist. My only advantage is my extremely high IQ and that doesn't really help in making friends with or dating 'normal people'...
Are you ashamed of your disabilities? Are you able to date and make friends? Do you have any advice for me? Thanks!
Click to expand...

You have nothing to be ashamed of. You should embrace your identity and show pride in yourself. Don't let people tell you otherwise.
 
Wirelessly posted (droid)

The OP is young. It's hard to be confident and secure at that age. This person is still developing an identity in a world that can be cruel.
What helped me at that age was focusing on developing interests and skills that had nothing to do with my appearance. Build relationships with positive people who support you. If a person is negative, just move on.
Be kind. The world is full of people who are desperate to be heard. Listen and share. Don't be afraid to share your humanity with others. This is what connects us to other people and it's a key to happiness.
The older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own skin. I promise that it gets better and better as you age.
 
Please try to remember we all have our issues, but is doesn't define who you are. If people are going to judge you by what they see they are really missing out on learning who you really are. I wear glasses, hearing aids in both ears, and am a woman with No hair. I get stared at sometimes, but it doesn't bother me. In time you will learn to be comfortable in who you are. People who take the time to know you will love you for who you are. The others aren't worth you time. I look forward to getting to know you better here.
 
I'm an Aspie as well. You need to stop feeling bad towards yourself about it. Embrace it! (Seriously, if there's such a thing as culturally autistic, I'm it.) You're not socially awkward or abnormal; you're neurodiverse! :)

Ignore the people who decide not to like you because you're different. They aren't worth your time.
 
Lots of great suggestions and support here. The only thought I would add would be the same advice I give my own children who, despite being hearing, do not need glasses and no Aspergers, have felt the same feelings you do at one time or another (everyone feels insecure, embarrassed or awkward at times in their lives). My advice is: focus on your abilities, your passions, get involved in activities you enjoy and, in time, the right people will find you. Don't let others dictate what you can or cannot do, pursue the things you love, the activities that make you feel good about yourself and everything else will follow :).
 
sallylou said:
Wirelessly posted (droid)

The OP is young. It's hard to be confident and secure at that age. This person is still developing an identity in a world that can be cruel.
What helped me at that age was focusing on developing interests and skills that had nothing to do with my appearance. Build relationships with positive people who support you. If a person is negative, just move on.
Be kind. The world is full of people who are desperate to be heard. Listen and share. Don't be afraid to share your humanity with others. This is what connects us to other people and it's a key to happiness.
The older I get, the more comfortable I am in my own skin. I promise that it gets better and better as you age.
Click to expand...
I know the OP is young and I know being a teenager is hard . I also know other teenagers are going to pick up on how he feel about himself and really give him a hard time. This it why I hope he has someone to talk to . My niece boyfriend learned how to swim and become very good at diving and he has a job and drive a car . There is a web site for people that have Asperger and it called wrongplanet.net , my niece uses it sometime.
 
Also maybe a support group for developing social skills and realtionships with other people? I know that a group exists here for teens that is lead by a qualified professional.
 
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