I would really love to get people opinion on this!

[whatdidyousay!]

When we had my mother's funeral in 2008 my older wrote a 'poem' about our family ! I will have to fill you in a little, my dad cheated on my mother for years , and my older sister said our mother asked if we knew about dad affair and my older sister said that we laughed at our mother like 'cackling witches' when she ask us about this! I did not laught at my mom, my sister did!
My sister decided she would use this in her 'poem' to read at our mother graveside funeral. My sister wrote in poem that she and I laughed at our mother like {cackling witches} when she asked about daddy cheating on her!
My older sister wanted to call me a 'cackling witch' at my beloved mother
funeral in front of everyone and the Rabbi! ! I became really angry at my sister from showing me her disgusting poem when I was grieving my mother's death. My sister THINK she did not nothing wrong and that I was wrong in getting angry at her. I know ,my family is really dysfunctional!!
I would to know what you think of this. Yeah I know my family IS dysfunctional!

 

[posts from hell]

im not sure if theres much we can say

 

[Bottesini]

I think people show grief in different ways and they are not always rational and they do really weird things sometimes.

She might not have done something like that if she was thinking normally..

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I think people show grief in different ways and they are not always rational and they do really weird things sometimes.

She might not have done something like that if she was thinking normally..

I agree my sister was not being rational .We have a mutual friend and she thought my sister poem was horrible and was inappropriate to read at our mom's funeral! My sister still think there is nothing wrong with her poem!

 

[Bebonang]

I don't know why your sister had to sniffle or pretend to laugh at your mother? This must be her nervous laughing when your mother asked about your Dad's affair. She was not comfortable to tell the truth to your mother about Dad's affair.

I am sorry that she had put you on the spot and furthermore, she should not have made the poem about you and your sister making like a cackling witches on your mother at the funeral. I can not believe she would go further, adding that she want to blame you for being a cackling witch to your deceased Mom. You have a right to be angry with your sister. She should not do that in front of all the people whether family members and friends of Mom.

That is a very hurtful thing for your sister to lay blame like that to you.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I don't know why your sister had to sniffle or pretend to laugh at your mother? This must be her nervous laughing when your mother asked about your Dad's affair. She was not comfortable to tell the truth to your mother about Dad's affair.

I am sorry that she had put you on the spot and furthermore, she should not have made the poem about you and your sister making like a cackling witches on your mother at the funeral. I can not believe she would go further, adding that she want to blame you for being a cackling witch to your deceased Mom. You have a right to be angry with your sister. She should not do that in front of all the people whether family members and friends of Mom.

That is a very hurtful thing for your sister to lay blame like that to you.

Thank you Bebonang! My sister brought this up today as are having a fight through emails! And my sister still feel she was not wrong in wanting to read
her horrible poem ! One of our nieces thought the poem was in very poor taste but she did not want to hurt my sister, 'feeling'!
My younger sister had some of her friends at the funeral and I would had been really upset if my older sister read her poem.

 

[shel90]

Yea, it wasn't nice of your sister to do that. Curious..why is she bringing it up when it happened 3 years ago?

 

[Reba]

Wow, I'm very sorry that you had to experience that. Your sister was very disrespectful. Unbelievable.

Like shel90 posted, what brings this up again? Unresolved issues?

 

[Arbayong]

Sorry to hear all that happened to you, whatdidyousay,
am with you in that i believe your sister should never have written that letter or even have laughed at your mom in the first place. laughing at your mom might have given the impression that you and your sisters probably encouraged your daddy to cheat your mom.

there are 1000s of dysfunctional homes if not millions the world over. i suggest you do not engage in any form of argument with your sister anymore. Such arguments wouldn't be productive. they can foul your mood for the day which may not be good for your health. As you stated, many have already said that your sister wasn't right so that should be solace to you even if your sister insists she's right.
Sidestep the argument if she raises it again (it may be painful shutting up). Be polite to her and with time who knows, she might come to realise that she was wrong or at worse will never repeat it since she knows that it may incur the wrath of her siblings.
Am of course assuming there is no other bone of contention between you two.

 

[flip]

She appears unsensitive to me, so you know I can understand your reaction, and hope you all figure out this without too much fighting.

Just wanted to say that this reminds me of some the obituaries in UK, especially in the past. It's an english tradition to not only praise the person, but also include the darker sides and perhaps emberassing, too. It's perceived as an action of honor and greif to do that, and not associated with something negative.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Yea, it wasn't nice of your sister to do that. Curious..why is she bringing it up when it happened 3 years ago?

That is a very good question! I did say something to my sister about this! We had big a fight , my sister got involved with me having to put my dog down
and was telling my daughter how I should be doing this and I got pissed off at my sister for sticking her big fat nose where it does not belong! My sister finally admitted she was trying to be controlling ! I got really angry at my sister for her 'horrible crackling witches' poem and she brought that up for her own benefit saying I 'got "TOO MAD" ! My sister is a a meek person and does not like to set up set! She did love when I got angry at our ex brother when she told what he did to her! I am not joking when say my family is
dyfunctional! This is was why I moved 3, 000 mile to get away from them!!
And my older sister moved to Ca. two years after me!! GRR!

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Sorry to hear all that happened to you, whatdidyousay,
am with you in that i believe your sister should never have written that letter or even have laughed at your mom in the first place. laughing at your mom might have given the impression that you and your sisters probably encouraged your daddy to cheat your mom.

there are 1000s of dysfunctional homes if not millions the world over. i suggest you do not engage in any form of argument with your sister anymore. Such arguments wouldn't be productive. they can foul your mood for the day which may not be good for your health. As you stated, many have already said that your sister wasn't right so that should be solace to you even if your sister insists she's right.
Sidestep the argument if she raises it again (it may be painful shutting up). Be polite to her and with time who knows, she might come to realise that she was wrong or at worse will never repeat it since she knows that it may incur the wrath of her siblings.
Am of course assuming there is no other bone of contention between you two.

I spoke On the phone with my sister and we had long talk , 2 years later my sister agree she was wrong to bring her 'horrible poem' to our mother funeral and show it to me ! My sister was mad at me for getting furious at her for at poem , she wanted me to 'very nicely, to say how I felt as she was hard time with our mother's death! My sister is very vain and self centered and wanted mom funeral to be about her not my mother! My sister finally said she was wrong in trying to be in control about dear dog Finlay death. She was talking a to my daughter and a friend of our the whole time about how to get my dog to to the vet to be put down! The whole thing was a mess and by mistake I got an email that been going back forth from my sister and daughter and finally to me! My daughter forgot to delete the part they did not want me to 'know about'! To make a long crazy story short, my sister admitted she was wrong about her poem and for be trying to be too controlling about my dog ! Whew! I realize what happen about my mother.
She was in the nursing home and she asked my sister and I about daddy cheating on her , but my sister think I hear my mother too and I did not. I was having a very hard hearing mom as she was so weak and was not able to repeat what she said. I think my sister felt bad about laughing at mom in her sick mind said I did too!