i hate when peeps do this to me....

[kimeran]

I lipread with hearing people, and I use sign (BSL) with other HOH people. I use sign at Deaf Club.

I just try to communicate by whatever means I can. Sometimes people have to write things down for me, but I don't care how the message gets across, as long as it does get across.

LOL though - at deaf club, all the hearies learning sign language from the college - they come and arrange their chairs in a semicircle all around us and just watch us in awe while sipping orange juice

We're just some people sitting in a pub with our beer, and then we get these people acting like their an audience in a theatre. Hehehe. They sit there all nice - they don't talk to eachother, they don't blink... they just sit with their mouths open watching us chatting.

Still... it's nice they're learning though

 

[jillio]

I appreciate that you feel that way. However, I just think that rather than stereotype all deaf people as being fluent in sign language (which the majority aren't) such people can simply sign and say "do you sign?" I've had people do that for me and I find this an appropriate way to introduce themselves. However, if someone launches right in, signing rapidly away then the assumption has already been made.

I am bi racial and I would find it similarly offensive if someone jived up to me speaking in West Indian patois just because my father was West Indian. I can't understand it and an assumption has been made. I'm sure though that some West Indians who miss the patois would feel grateful in Australia if someone came up to them and started talking in the language they are familiar with!

I agree that relying on stereotypes in any situation is wrong. We all do it from time to time, however wrong it may be. Mental shortcuts that keep us from having to think too much, you know! I do find one upbeat note in all of this discussion, however, and that is that more and more hearing people are learning and embracing sign, which opens up the opportunity for deaf and hearing to share their experiences and learn from each other. That has to serve to increase tolerance and understanding to some degree. But I agree that he deaf individual should not only be asked if they sign, but if they prefer a signed English or ASL.

 

[Tousi]

Kimeran, you said: "I lipread with hearing people, and I use sign (BSL) with other HOH people. I use sign at Deaf Club."

Are you making a distinction between using BSL and sign? I'm just asking cuz I don't know altho I would be surprised if you said yes.

 

[kimeran]

BSL... sign.... same thing

What I mean is that it's nice to relax at deaf club and just sign, because then I'm not struggling like I am when I'm lipreading.

 

[diehardbiker]

I must say... WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM? Are you opposed to Deaf culture or what?
Would you kindly tone down! I don't have problem with deaf people who do Orally, would you mind return the same respect, eh? Or at least start to learn sign language, it could be your valuable lesson.

The way you say, you have despise on ASL as low life language. That is totally insult.

Sorry to be blunt, if you come down here, please do not have that nerve whining to us about your issue with your ASL!

Since i do not know sign language and i can speak orally perfectly (all thanks to 12 years of speech therapy).

whenever i talked to people or anyone that i communicate, they see my hearing aids and started doing sign language. I really hate that! Because i talked to them in first place and i read their lips as well as i hear them, they started to do sign language (whoever knows it, hearing people especially).



but i am talking about those hearing people. here's what really happened:

i was at the mall with my friends eating and chillin in the food court. All of a sudden, this woman came outta nowwhere and started doing sign language at me. I saw this woman sitting on the table near us and i am sure she was fully aware that i was speaking orally with my friends. Yet she has the nerve to come to me and started doing sign language. my friend has to tell her that i do not know them and i told her that too. She said oh im sry, i have a son who is deaf so i thought you probably know them too since you're deaf as well.

GOD!!!!!!! :rl::rl:


sorry for the rant

 

[WhiteWolves64]

Funny thing that few days ago we were at McDonald's at Wal-Fart store and me and my wife were signing and the 10 year old girl was stared at us and my head turned toward to the girl's attention and she asked us "Are you deaf" with sign and i told her that yes we both are deaf and she said thank you without sign and left.... and then we continued with our conversation .... I hate when people stared at and then asked us politely way but those stares makes us uneasy or feeling queasy in our bodies!!!!

 

[Calphool]

So... I'm a hearing person and I have a deaf family member who lives in another city. I've been learning ASL for about a year now.

Some of what has been said here makes me feel a little sad.

I know ASL isn't my native language. I know not all deaf people use it. I know that not everyone with a hearing aid uses sign. Anyone who assumes that is being kind of dumb/stupid/foolish.

However, I can tell you what's going on in a hearing person's mind when they see a deaf person signing, because I've felt this way before. Here's what's going on in their mind: "Oh, look, a deaf person. Maybe this is an opportunity to make a new friend who signs! I could sure use the help." Maybe that's not what all hearing people think, but it's certainly what I think.

Learning ASL is hard. It takes years. You'll never learn it if you don't have deaf people to practice with. You can't learn it from a book, and if you learn it from hearing people, you end up learning SEE or PSE, and I don't want that.

The problem is that there's no "polite way" to walk up to a stranger and try to make friends. I've gone to an all-deaf church before, and everybody seems to intentionally ignore you, especially the older men. I know there's a feeling of "invasion" for the deaf people, but I don't have any good alternative except to just start talking to you, and I need the help if I'm ever going to learn ASL.

So, if you're signing, and I walk up to you out of the blue and try to start a conversation, please don't take offense. I don't mean to be rude. I really need your help so that I can learn to better communicate with a member of my family. All I'm trying to do is make a new friend who has the skills to help me. Maybe that's a little bit selfish, but I don't have any choice -- there are no ASL classes around here, except the classes I've already taken. I crave the influence of a Deaf mentor. In a perfect world, there would be a place I could go to find a Deaf mentor who agreed to help me for a few years.

If I mistakenly walk up to you, and you're oral (that seems unlikely, but I guess it could happen if you were also signing), please just tell me you're oral. If you don't feel like making small talk, just say so politely. You never know, you could make a new friend anyway, right?

 

[Calphool]

Funny thing that few days ago we were at McDonald's at Wal-Fart store and me and my wife were signing and the 10 year old girl was stared at us and my head turned toward to the girl's attention and she asked us "Are you deaf" with sign and i told her that yes we both are deaf and she said thank you without sign and left.... and then we continued with our conversation .... I hate when people stared at and then asked us politely way but those stares makes us uneasy or feeling queasy in our bodies!!!!

I'm hearing, but I've experienced that too when I'm with my wife at a restaurant. Sometimes we'll practice with each other when we're having a date night. We're both hearing, but my sister's husband is deaf, so we're learning ASL. People stare and stare. It used to bother me, but now I don't mind as much. I think people stare at anything they don't see very often (like a car accident, or fireworks, or a beautiful painting). It's not really meant to offend. They're just amazed that people can have a whole conversation (oh my gosh! ) without using their voice.... silly people...

 

[rabbit]

I know some deaf who will get mad at you if you use your voice to talk with them ^_^

 

[Deafilmedia]

Since i do not know sign language and i can speak orally perfectly (all thanks to 12 years of speech therapy).

whenever i talked to people or anyone that i communicate, they see my hearing aids and started doing sign language. I really hate that! Because i talked to them in first place and i read their lips as well as i hear them, they started to do sign language (whoever knows it, hearing people especially).



but i am talking about those hearing people. here's what really happened:

i was at the mall with my friends eating and chillin in the food court. All of a sudden, this woman came outta nowwhere and started doing sign language at me. I saw this woman sitting on the table near us and i am sure she was fully aware that i was speaking orally with my friends. Yet she has the nerve to come to me and started doing sign language. my friend has to tell her that i do not know them and i told her that too. She said oh im sry, i have a son who is deaf so i thought you probably know them too since you're deaf as well.

GOD!!!!!!! :rl::rl:


sorry for the rant

Why not wear your hair over your ears, so nobody will see your hearing aid?

 

[Angel]

I am curious...to those who dont know sign language..if people respond to u in sign language (without the butting in your conversations which I find very rude) does that offend you all? I am the total opposite..I am just grateful if hearing people know sign language cuz to me that means they understand that sign language is widely used by deaf/hoh people. The more people that can sign, the easier my life is!

I agreed, same here....

 

[Roadrunner]

So... I'm a hearing person and I have a deaf family member who lives in another city. I've been learning ASL for about a year now.

Some of what has been said here makes me feel a little sad.

I know ASL isn't my native language. I know not all deaf people use it. I know that not everyone with a hearing aid uses sign. Anyone who assumes that is being kind of dumb/stupid/foolish.

However, I can tell you what's going on in a hearing person's mind when they see a deaf person signing, because I've felt this way before. Here's what's going on in their mind: "Oh, look, a deaf person. Maybe this is an opportunity to make a new friend who signs! I could sure use the help." Maybe that's not what all hearing people think, but it's certainly what I think.

Learning ASL is hard. It takes years. You'll never learn it if you don't have deaf people to practice with. You can't learn it from a book, and if you learn it from hearing people, you end up learning SEE or PSE, and I don't want that.

The problem is that there's no "polite way" to walk up to a stranger and try to make friends. I've gone to an all-deaf church before, and everybody seems to intentionally ignore you, especially the older men. I know there's a feeling of "invasion" for the deaf people, but I don't have any good alternative except to just start talking to you, and I need the help if I'm ever going to learn ASL.

So, if you're signing, and I walk up to you out of the blue and try to start a conversation, please don't take offense. I don't mean to be rude. I really need your help so that I can learn to better communicate with a member of my family. All I'm trying to do is make a new friend who has the skills to help me. Maybe that's a little bit selfish, but I don't have any choice -- there are no ASL classes around here, except the classes I've already taken. I crave the influence of a Deaf mentor. In a perfect world, there would be a place I could go to find a Deaf mentor who agreed to help me for a few years.

If I mistakenly walk up to you, and you're oral (that seems unlikely, but I guess it could happen if you were also signing), please just tell me you're oral. If you don't feel like making small talk, just say so politely. You never know, you could make a new friend anyway, right?

I concur...and that is how I will usually feel whenever anyone comes up to me and starts signing...I do try to 'visualize' the concept of what they're really doing...all they (as I see it most of the time) are doing is like what Calphool stated as well as also having some sort of 'sense of belonging'.

I'm rarely ever agitated by anyone or anything...life's short and too darn precious to get miffed over by some 'action' taken in terms of what this thread is related to.

Also, there have been quite a few interesting comments posted in this thread as well--kudos.




~RR

 

[CCfan]

just make retarded signs back at em' - dont use actual ASL just flap your hands around in their face. I think it might make them think twice that not every deaf person grew up learning sign, and this will make them realize they dont know it all as they believe.

ROFL! This best topic I have seen on AD! It making laughing so hard!
Just was, eventually, my step-dad was trying to learn ASL, so he was trying to using ASL, so he was retard
signing. He was funny to do that, huh. :roll:
Haha! It feel like my Uncle or Grandma trying to signing
in retard, just not ASL.

 

[CCfan]

50x7_Z: I would like to saying something that I can try it for you
Here's I go... you can using write on a paper; or you can ask to your friend's
for trying to speak an oral. Or you can negotiate with your friend because she have a son who is deaf, because he using a sign language. It's good
idea to using ASL. I sure, I think so.

 

[CCfan]

Think that would really help? Most people dont do it to be mean..just that they make wrong assumptions and it is either we be mean to them and make deaf people look bad or just try to educate them and leave with a nice feeling?

I learned that by being mean to hearing people who are niave about deaf people and deafness really made me feel worse about myself. It is not the education I want to pass along..that all deaf people are mean. Already in many threads hearing parents have said that people in the Deaf community are mean..maybe it is time to stop that image?

What do u think?

In my opinion, it's our culture, I don't see hearies people would be
trying to mean deaf people because their language of this culture.
I know ASL is very easy... but, separately about this oral is
not too easy to learn its way for this little education for the deaf
children.

 

[rockdrummer]

here's an idea. Don't get pissed off about it and don't let it get to you so much. The people that approach you like this are making an assumption and there is really nothing wrong with that. How about you simply tell them that you don't know sign language.

Just as if I went to a country that speaks another language and someone came to me assuming I know their language and start talking to me in that language. I would not be offended by that and would simply tell them in my language that I don't understand or speak their language. Its not worth getting upset about. Life is to short for that nonsense. Don't sweat the petty shit and don't pet the sweaty shit. That's my motto.

 

[shel90]

So... I'm a hearing person and I have a deaf family member who lives in another city. I've been learning ASL for about a year now.

Some of what has been said here makes me feel a little sad.

I know ASL isn't my native language. I know not all deaf people use it. I know that not everyone with a hearing aid uses sign. Anyone who assumes that is being kind of dumb/stupid/foolish.

However, I can tell you what's going on in a hearing person's mind when they see a deaf person signing, because I've felt this way before. Here's what's going on in their mind: "Oh, look, a deaf person. Maybe this is an opportunity to make a new friend who signs! I could sure use the help." Maybe that's not what all hearing people think, but it's certainly what I think.

Learning ASL is hard. It takes years. You'll never learn it if you don't have deaf people to practice with. You can't learn it from a book, and if you learn it from hearing people, you end up learning SEE or PSE, and I don't want that.

The problem is that there's no "polite way" to walk up to a stranger and try to make friends. I've gone to an all-deaf church before, and everybody seems to intentionally ignore you, especially the older men. I know there's a feeling of "invasion" for the deaf people, but I don't have any good alternative except to just start talking to you, and I need the help if I'm ever going to learn ASL.

So, if you're signing, and I walk up to you out of the blue and try to start a conversation, please don't take offense. I don't mean to be rude. I really need your help so that I can learn to better communicate with a member of my family. All I'm trying to do is make a new friend who has the skills to help me. Maybe that's a little bit selfish, but I don't have any choice -- there are no ASL classes around here, except the classes I've already taken. I crave the influence of a Deaf mentor. In a perfect world, there would be a place I could go to find a Deaf mentor who agreed to help me for a few years.

If I mistakenly walk up to you, and you're oral (that seems unlikely, but I guess it could happen if you were also signing), please just tell me you're oral. If you don't feel like making small talk, just say so politely. You never know, you could make a new friend anyway, right?

U are more than welcome to come up to me and start signing to me. U can find a friend in me.

 

[Calphool]

U are more than welcome to come up to me and start signing to me. U can find a friend in me.

Well thank you!

 

[ClearSky]

Some people don't realize how well you can lipread them or read their attitude also. At my work, there is a somewhat frequent customer woman that knew I was deaf. Nobody ever sees me sign because I don't. Anyway, well, she came with somebody...maybe her husband who just walked by with her and made a comment with a friendly face. Well, I said, "what?" and he just smiled friendly, then the woman turned to him thinking I wasn't noticing what she was saying that I couldn't hear. Anyway, when they came through my line to ring them up, he was all smiles, but the woman is just cold like it's so hard to relax around me or maybe she's just that way with everyone. Some people think we are so stupid.

There was a student when I was in junior high walk to another girl and told her that I was deaf, then sat down in her chair. She didn't hide her mouth well. This was during lunch time when I was eating my lunch and just happened to have them sit at the particular long table for everyone to seat. I wonder why in the world she had to MAKE that comment just for the sake of it.

In high school, I didn't have much friends, so I sat down by myself at lunchtime when there weren't that many peple. There was another table of girls who were eating together. I was sitting facing them. They were looking at me like they never saw me up close. This one girl had the nerve to comment, "why is she sitting by herself?" And I was thinking, "why don't you come over and invite me if you care?" High school kids weren't generally that friendly, so I don't know why they have to make such comments and leave us alone like everyone else.

They don't realize we can be good lipreaders. Even if you told them one time (when I used to have interpreters) that you read lips, they still refused to remember that.

I also have to ask people to repeat. Most people are kind and never assume anything weird about asking them to repeat, but some people are hesitant to repeat or look at you wondering why in the world you didn't understand them in the first place. Does that ever happen to anyone?

 

[farmerjoe]

I also have to ask people to repeat. Most people are kind and never assume anything weird about asking them to repeat, but some people are hesitant to repeat or look at you wondering why in the world you didn't understand them in the first place. Does that ever happen to anyone?

All the time. Often they'll say "oh, nevermind"