How to explain isolation?

Danb

Danb

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I used to be a more social person, but then lost my hearing. I got a CI and 80% hearing back in one ear. I didn't become as social as i used to be, though, after the CI.

Recently my family has been badgering me that I "have to get out more".

How do i explain and get through to them that it is still difficult to be as social as I used to be because i still can't hear as well as them?
 
Tell them you just can't communicate in big crowds and that you are fine if they want to go out and do stuff one on one.

Sadly, losing your hearing also means having a different social life.

Two choices: Invite your friends over to your place more often or limit the number of friends you go out with at any given time.


If your friends are putting in the time and effort to be with you, you need to be putting in the time and effort to be with them as well. Conversely, you can't do all the work in your friendships and those that don't put in effort should be dropped(just my opinion).
 
Gonna take time until you get used to the way you communicate. You need new skill sets for being around people
 
Yeah that makes sense. That explains why I don't have much motivation to be around people. When i am i don't like it because its not as easy to fit in and talk to people as it use to be.
 
How about learning ASL and getting involved in the Deaf community? It changed my life after years of feeling isolated as a deaf person in a hearing world.
 
shel90 said:
How about learning ASL and getting involved in the Deaf community? It changed my life after years of feeling isolated as a deaf person in a hearing world.
Click to expand...

You have to be in a place that has a d/Deaf community for that to work.
 
Jane B. said:
You have to be in a place that has a d/Deaf community for that to work.
Click to expand...

I agree. However, the internet can solve some of the distance problems. There is no reason you can't sign with people over video or talk with people over AIM and Relay service.

In the beginning, I didn't want to use these tools, but are good solutions.
 
Jane B. said:
You have to be in a place that has a d/Deaf community for that to work.
Click to expand...

I know that has been a big problem for u but it doesnt mean everyone else has that problem. We dont know if the guy has that problem yet, do we? Lets not put the horse before the cart, ok? I was just offering help.
 
Wirelessly posted

I am tempted to isolate myself oh dear recluse temporary sounds good lol
 
I just did that two weeks. What a blessed relief. No driving, no stores, no people, no job, stayed right here at home. Just basic foods, I am stocked up with basics. Maybe not the healthiest sounding thing to do but all I can say is what a relief. I stopped everything, no projects, no paperwork, no anything, no work, no real play, movement exercise light stretching, just lie around dink with the computer read the same book- why hurry? Sleep until I wake up and nap whenever. I did it. Now it is time to get back into the world--I don't wanna go! We have made a society that sucks, I don't want to participate out there... but I will, and I will smile and work and oh spend money.. I did not do that either but now it is upon me again. Life.
 
One can "regress" to a "quiet world" of one's living quarters.

Aside: I understand Trappist monks do the same thing - for a "different motivation"
Whether one consider their society "sucks" is a matter of interpretation.

Is the only problem-what does one "use" as funds to this continued "relaxed living"?
Assuming one isn't "retired on pensions".
 
drphil said:
One can "regress" to a "quiet world" of one's living quarters.

Aside: I understand Trappist monks do the same thing - for a "different motivation"
Whether one consider their society "sucks" is a matter of interpretation.

Is the only problem-what does one "use" as funds to this continued "relaxed living"?
Assuming one isn't "retired on pensions".
Click to expand...
I paid in advance but it is a self limiting retirement here- the money is gone and it is time to go do again. The peace and quiet and isolation has calmed me and rested me. Instead of paying out for a vacation I paid up for it.
Society does not suck so bad now that I have had a nice break from it. I know it could have been a more spiritual enterprise and if I continued it probably would.
 
We do make choices in our life. Add if one is DEAF does make for "quiet times".

Does the "freedom" of being a " slacker" seem to be a "life long goal" worth actualizing?

Not to be too philosophical-of course!
 
Is a person a slacker that goes their own way for a bit? I am not taking unemployment or any kind of assistance. There are hardworking societies out there that support monks and so forth as a normal thing. Do they make snide cracks about them as spongers? I don't know.
So yep I am a slacker. Soon I will be one busy slacker... while I do not recommend isolation for some people for myself it works. Of course there was a lot of isolation as young child raised by a crazy woman too. I remember a whole summer of solitary confinement- no talking, food under the door, supervised bathroom visits. Three months is a long time for a five year with one comic book and a red checker. I did have a window out during the day to see the other kids out playing, so happy.
I am usually a contributing adult, and am happily sane and I say whoa how did that happen? A lot of nice people helped along the way. That is how.
Freedom is everything. It is one thing to be isolated by choice; another entirely to have it forced upon you.
 
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I was just about to say that I didn't know how to explain but maybe we can say it is like sitting among a bunch of people speaking a language you don't know. You can nod your head, smile and "uh-huh" your way through but you have no idea what is going on, or a limited idea at best. We can see them talking, laughing, joking, being serious...but we have no real idea about the fine details of the conversation and it is really disorienting and *isolating*. It's still fun and stuff but missing out of so much really sucks. Especially when you are trying to ask "what" and "huh" the whole time and everyone just goes "don't worry sbout it" or "tell you later" or, my personal favorite, "it isn't important" when obviously it was important enough to say in the first place.

I think I'm going to have to say exactly what I just typed out here to my boyfriend later. :shock:
 
Unfortunately, we humans don't have the ability to "go back and change the past based on our experience" We can however alter our thinking about the past-now. Difficult it may be. Seems time is Linear-forward only.

The above thoughts from my user name-which seem reasonable-to say the least.

The thoughts on Trappists monks came from the prolific writer-Thomas Merton.

From my classes-Coping/Dealing with your Hearing Loss - Canadian Hearing Society/Toronto- be assertive and don't bluff you heard something when you didn't.
Advise forthwith you didn't. No one can "mind read you"-hearing-- wise.

Correct-life isn't "fair"!
 
One thing that seems to have happened is that i just don't seem to like the way people naturally are anymore.

Its like i notice how much people take for granted now. It makes me not want to be around anyone.

I am young but disabled from health problems. It makes it very difficult to figure out what to do for a social life.
 
Didn't your sense of "hearing get better" because of the Implant? Thus a change -hearing wise-for the "better" in social interaction than before? Did you tell your audi your subsequent reaction which may require-change in mapping required?
Have you accepted having an Implant?

Some thoughts to consider.
 
I think i'd definitely get along better with other hearing impaired or deaf people. I'm going to have to try harder to get into the deaf community somehow.

I still have some issues about the CI which i can't seem to get over.
 
Getting into the local Deaf group would suggest learning ASL for starters.
Easy for you? Time for study?

You mentioned "other health problems" as a factor on decrease social interaction plus CI "issues". Can either be decreased?
 
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