How Do We Heal Ourselves?...

I don't be with men cause I know that they
won't marry me anyway....

Men mistreated me even tho I got nice personality.

Men want to be with me because of my nice personality.
But their personality sucks....
I think men who want nice personality girls, so that
they can get away with stuff, and not buy me flowers,
get sex for free, and do whatever they want to....

So that is why I let mean girls have them.... so that
they can nagged and nagged and nagged at those men.
But if I nagged and nagged, then men will leave me...
because of my TCS.....

Men would not want me if I have bad personality and have TCS.

Men want 2 kind of women.... Beautiful women with bitchy personality
or Ugly women with nice personality.

And if I have no nice personality and since I am ugly....
Men won't date me at all.

So anyway, I want a man with nice personality too, so that
It would be okay for me to have nice personality. :wiggle:

And I can't find man with nice personality.... then fine, I will
go on with my life and just be happy single and do whatever
I want to.
 
Miss*Pinocchio said:
Men want 2 kind of women.... Beautiful women with bitchy personality
or Ugly women with nice personality.
Click to expand...

That is news to me. Im not beautiful with bitchy personality nor am I ugly with nice personality.

I m just this sweet outspoken girl and didnt have any problems getting dates. Each man has his own idea of what beauty means. I believe in this saying " Beauty is in the eye of beholder."
 
Meggie sez: " Beauty is in the eye of beholder. And I agree; additionally, Beauty is skin-deep.
 
Yeah, I forgot to add, plain looking girls get plain treatment from men.

Geez, I wish I was plainlooking though.
 
Very True -

Meg said:
That is news to me. Im not beautiful with bitchy personality nor am I ugly with nice personality.

I m just this sweet outspoken girl and didnt have any problems getting dates. Each man has his own idea of what beauty means. I believe in this saying " Beauty is in the eye of beholder."
Click to expand...

Some of the prettest women I dated had ugly hearts. So I left them. I was lucky enough to Marry a woman. Who I believe has a heart of gold. :thumb:
 
Miss*Pinocchio said:
Yeah, I forgot to add, plain looking girls get plain treatment from men.

Geez, I wish I was plainlooking though.
Click to expand...


There is no need to steroetype men. Each guy is different and give them a break!!!!!

I know many plain looking women yet with radiant inner beauty and their men couldnt get enough of them.

It all boils down to INNER BEAUTY and SELF CONFIDENCE. Good looking people dont always have that and they end up looking ugly in the end after discovering that they lack innerbeauty.
 
Angel, sorry to go off on topic there with MissP!


Anyhow, I was thinking more about this topic and wanted to say a few things.

I think that once I forgive myself, I will be completely healed.

Ability to forgive ourselves is a powerful way to heal and let go of all these past traumas, etc.

I am at the point where I cannot forgive myself yet Ive forgiven all these people or whatnot that created pain for me.

It is so hard to forgive yourself!!!!
 
Geez.... I know why they called it "Beauty and the Beast"....

I always ended up with the handsome men with ugly hearts.
Cause nobody want them.
 

It's NOT easy to let it go, because some of things it reminds me through the experiences and what it taught me not to go through again. For example here : I've seen some men are just like Berry or my ex or old friend...it's everywhere my eyes see. At first, they may look nice and sweet, but then after gettin' to know them, I find this so much just like Berry or ex or old friend - and what, if they are NOT like Berry or ex or old friend... HOW would I know that they are NOT ? It could be deceivin' or somethin' else... or it could be lyin' what their dark sides are. It's all about cyclin'. It breaks down the trust/confident and then, it will destroy the communication afterwards like drawin' the line for good....never to be seen again. So, do you think it is a nice idea ?

I am so pissed off at some certain people that I know of because, I don't appreciate their head games or B.S. It took me for a long time NOT to find LOVE, because I know it will HURT the friendship. The friendship is the sole purpose to develope a relationship. Love is very sensitive, it gets bruise very easy but, love will never forget....love will always remember.

It's why I said it is NOT easy to let it go...it will always be written as history to remember NOT to repeat. It's like writin' on your forehead or takin' pics in your head to remember the whole pictures what the errors tell you. It could be outspoken or upright to stand up on its own feet and tell it what it feels, because of experiences did the talkin' through the actions.

I learn pretty quick and I don't give a 2nd chance that easy unless, someone acts his/her own age ...then, the friendship will start to build through a tiny seed inside the soil. Don't break down the communicate by destroyin' the trust/confident for it is a water to pour down the seed to grow. :)
 
Its not easy to let go of!! I had serious problems with my stupid ex hubby whom I have been with for nealy 7 yrs. for what he done to me. Sure glad that I got out of idiot marriage that I've suffered for long time but as scars that I've carried for long time and it was very hard for me to let it go of. Anyway, I still have some scars that could not let scarred away. Also, after I left for Hawaii to try to ease out of my bad memories with my ex marriage and up till I have another man whom I thought it was Mr Right for me but until few months I found out the truth myself which this man didn't even tell me truth that really betrayed me alot. I sure glad I had someone to talk to let it go. It has been about almost 3 yrs that I've not gone out with someone.. I am focus on my personal life to be very happy include my son!!

PurrMeow
 
I've gone through a lot of crap, myself, but i really can't say I have any real answers on how to heal, because, I'm STILL healing. It seems that healing emotional wounds and traumas takes a very long time, and I also think that some people may never heal their wounds. That is not to say, it's not possible. It is possible to live life happily after trauma, but it just takes so much time and energy to get to that place of serenity.

I have been on my own healing journey from abuse and other things for the last five years or so, and what I have found that has worked for me thus far, has been talking. Also, finding people willing to walk this journey with me and who are willing to listen to me, and understand me.

I found that expressing my feelings has been the best way for me to begin this thing called healing. That, and acceptance. For myself, that has put me on a path towards a semblance of healing. Whether or not, it will work completely, I don't know. But, I can tell you this...

I'm NOT the same person I was five years ago. Nor, am I the same person I was a YEAR AGO. I doubt I'll be the same person a year from now than I am today. I believe that healing is a process. It takes time to rebuild and reshape what was damaged. It takes understanding, patience, too. Because, this doesn't happen over night. I found that out the hard way. I'm the type of person that wants things done.....YESTERDAY....And, well..I found out that recovery doesn't happen yesterday. It doesn't happen today. It happens in it's own time, and it takes patience with oneself to go through this process. Along the way, I have gone through a lot of stressful moments, and when I'm ready to bust, I have to remind myself that "this too shall pass". In those moments, I'll go relax in the tub with my favorite bath salt, or I'll play with the kids. Read a book.

This is getting long winded, but if were to advice someone, I'd say give yourself time. Time to get to know yourself. Time to learn to trust. Time to learn how to open up. Time to laugh, giggle, and play. I really believe that all things are possible if you give yourself time to go through the process.

Okay...getting off my soap box....Sorry, if this sounds disjointed. I have a lot ot say on this topic, but as per usual, I say it better verbally. :lol:
 
Pyro said:
Contact this man, http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=15348 . Mayb he'll "lick" all of ur problems away.
Click to expand...

:rofl: @ Pyro ...very funni!

Meg said:
Angel, sorry to go off on topic there with MissP
Click to expand...

It's okay Meg! ... :ily:


ravensteve1961 said:
Only Jesus and gods men can do that.
Click to expand...

:ugh: umm okay...


PurrMeow said:
Its not easy to let go of!! I had serious problems with my stupid ex hubby whom I have been with for nealy 7 yrs. for what he done to me. Sure glad that I got out of idiot marriage that I've suffered for long time but as scars that I've carried for long time and it was very hard for me to let it go of. Anyway, I still have some scars that could not let scarred away. Also, after I left for Hawaii to try to ease out of my bad memories with my ex marriage and up till I have another man whom I thought it was Mr Right for me but until few months I found out the truth myself which this man didn't even tell me truth that really betrayed me alot. I sure glad I had someone to talk to let it go. It has been about almost 3 yrs that I've not gone out with someone.. I am focus on my personal life to be very happy include my son!!
Click to expand...

I understand how you feel girl :hug: and I'm really sorry you went thru this....I'm glad you are focusing on your life with your son, smart girl! ;)

If you ever need a " friend " you can count on me! :ily:
 
Weeeelllll....I too have been through more than enough - and I truly have no reasons to believe that we are fully capable of letting something go - at least completely. When something happens that is traumatic to us in any way, we may only be able to find a way to step outside of it for brief or prolonged periods of time, but we ALMOST ALWAYS find ourselves reverting back to it and remembering - and then lookie here! It's something we remember because we haven't dealt with it enough to consider ourselves healed...

I'm so, SO guilty of trying to ignore, push and will thoughts away. My best way of dealing with things is by writing. I do keep a journal but I don't do very well with updating it (I know, I'm SORRY!) but my better writing comes in the form of fiction. What I do is take something I understand well (different forms of abuse, etc...assault, rape, verbal & emotional abuse) and I make "someome else" deal with it...i.e. characters. :dunno: It's effective for me - and it somewhat forces me to step outside of my own mindset and to view it differently...gives me a different outlook on some of my thoughts. After all - there's a trick to it. If it's about someone else, then I can force myself to be more open to some of the behaviors I know I've exhibited, some of the moods I have, and so forth.

I don't think anyone is ever completely healed. It's all in the outlook and it's all about making baby steps. We may be able to learn to trust again, learn to smile, to laugh, to love...but it will never, EVER negate the pain and trauma, if any, that we've experienced in life. It's a lesson learned, in some ways - not that we're at fault for any of it - of course not - but we learn so much about ourselves more than we do about this sick world.

:grouphug:
 
Think about this, what will be our life alike without pain, anger, hate? No challenge, no growth, no balance... We thrive on only love, peace, forgiveness. No yin/yang? How do we ever to learn about ourselves. Look at our own mirror to know thy self. I don't find grateful if we all are alikeness and think alikeness.

Jesus tell us to love your enemy. Am I your enemy or your my enemy? cuz we think nothing alikeness.
 
jazzy said:
Think about this, what will be our life alike without pain, anger, hate? No challenge, no growth, no balance... We thrive on only love, peace, forgiveness. No yin/yang? How do we ever to learn about ourselves. Look at our own mirror to know thy self. I don't find grateful if we all are alikeness and think alikeness.

Jesus tell us to love your enemy. Am I your enemy or your my enemy? cuz we think nothing alikeness.
Click to expand...

*amen* yup that is true...

Geeez Miss*Pinocchio, DO you ever think about Men that has ugly faces TOO??
 
Shiva said:
*amen* yup that is true...
Geeez Miss*Pinocchio, DO you ever think about Men that has ugly faces TOO??
Click to expand...

I tried to flirt with the ugly man at Gallaudet, after I found out from
someone who told me he liked me. And when I flirted him, he yelled
at me... saying that I am rude and lecture me like I am a child.
So I ignored him. Why I can't flirt with him?

Then I met a guy named Bobby Baker, he was ugly.... and
he beat me. He was scratching me, threw me down on the floor violently,
and smacked me twice, and took $300 from me.... That was at FSU.
I had witnesses. :(

I thought ugly men got great personality. :wiggle:
 
I agree with what Fly Free said...why dwell on your bad pasts, like bad relationships, bad childhoods or whatever..you cant heal if you keep dwelling
on your bad past..the best way is just to go on and make the best of your present and hope for the better future..learn from your past mistakes is all.
I think im a better person now than i did when i was a teenager and in my early twenties cuz thats when i was so messed up haha...
 
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