How can you tell the difference between backstabbing and feeling expression?

Maybe you can tell me if I did backstab anyone in my thread shown here -

I did not name anyone at all, not even if they were a she or a he - however, because some people had been on this from the very beginning, they knew who I was talking about and so did several other ADers -

Tell me.

Was this backstabbing or expressing?

http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=27494&highlight=Disturbed
 
GalaxyAngel said:
Is Venting/Ranting belong to kind of backstabbing or feeling expression?
Venting/Ranting.. I wasn't aware of this issue as condiser backstabing.. part of your feeling expression "speak it out of chest". How much you truly pain inside your eating up the somatch. Til feel better when ready to speak it out w/person who turns cruel behavouir improrpite ways.
Venting/Ranting isn't part of backstabbing.. whoever listening your feelings inside pain and speak it out whole thing. Part of this AD or outside.. still both counts!
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Exactly! Feeling expression belong sort of venting/ranting is good therapy to get people to get out of their unhappy feeling out because you hurt badly and upset...


Is it backstabbing when you made my posts without name anyone in general way?
Which the best no naming on the post.. depneds how much if you anger only the way directly speak it out privacy pm'land or instant message. If not work it out then simple the way move on... Let it be!
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Exactly! I agree to solve via email or PM is the best if I feel anger or unsure etc. If something what I disagree with, then rant my feeling out without name or hint anyone. (Unfortunlately I did ranted with name in my thread ONCE few month ago which I am not suppose to name a person that´s just I´m very angry because I´m an innoncent..) :Oops:


Is it backstabbing when you express your unhappy feeling without name anyone in general way?
Still as same part of #1 No such thing any tiny differences.
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Yes, that´s right.


Is it backstabbing when you have angry expression against a person without name anyone?
Quite good question.. Depends, If I would end up hurting and will talk directly pm you or anyone. Not pretty insight what you have done to me.. I might be condiser betraying you.. uneasy! I will be become more not trusting on interent friends takes me so long forever... *break my heart* Honestly yes.. I've been experience in my past horrible pain.. I had start over again and to get build trust internet-friend again.. Pretty not easy..
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I can understand your point. If I am angry with a person then solve with PM or email is the best but I can rant if I´m angry but without name anyone and make hint.

Is it expression feeling when you name anyone to public forum or talk to person?
Beside only Who I can trust with person... and also my husband only.. What the best discussion first before go proceed talk out w/person front of public forum depneds me.. Actually As for me my personally speak it out on AD.. No Thank you! isn't my type.. Best private pmland.. if not work it out.. then.. MOVE ON! Dont' ask me ever again!
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I would not express my feeling to NAME anyone to public forum but use fake name or nameless... If I need someone I trust to is different story.

I would appreicate very much for your feedback to this question and share your opinion when you see different and what/how you feeling?
Likely for example.. Happily talk w/along AD'ers on anywone whoever I don't cares... as long when meeting real life.. Totally different.. whoever looks and might say.. their mind.. Oh darn, I wish I could not have along w/that person.. How do you feel ? Yes totally PAIN AND HURTING.. Why you took oath friendship first place?
Anyone DISCUSSION?
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I´m glad you share your feedback and opinion here with us... I appreciate it very much.. .:thumb:

Yes, I´m agree that it´s very hurt.
 
DreamDeaf said:
Maybe you can tell me if I did backstab anyone in my thread shown here -

I did not name anyone at all, not even if they were a she or a he - however, because some people had been on this from the very beginning, they knew who I was talking about and so did several other ADers -

Tell me.

Was this backstabbing or expressing?

http://www.alldeaf.com/showthread.php?t=27494&highlight=Disturbed
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To me, you expressed your feeling in general way without name anyone, not backstabbing because you use nameless and talk open how you feel instead of talk behind person´s back. I know the difference.

The reason why I created a thread here because the people don´t understand what difference between backstabbing and feeling expression. I hope this thread will help people understand what it is about.
 
Sorry but I may see this differently, forgive me Liebling :(

I rather if someone had an issue with another member or may feel the needed to vent out these sort of feelings, then it would be nicer if they had kept that between the two of them or along their friends in private not in a public forum or in any private ranting area where other members can also view this and will know all the personal problems, the twisted and lies being add into the venting, some people can easy lie when they're angry at someone, and decide to start something in order to get back at that person, to me that immature and also I would like to add that no matter whether the member did not name a person, but still it may describe the person you were speaking of and others can easy guess the ID of the person you may be speaking of, sometimes that can cause problems between the two of you, as well as allowing others to be involved into the problem and it can caused this other person to feel embarrassed, hulimated , betrayed or even hurt...That may be the reason why I'm so against of the idea of having ranting/venting here in Alldeaf cause it does nothing but create more dramas and hurtful feelings...I didn't come to a forum where I could listen to lies and rumors about another person, even I don't know the entire story behind it, why should I listen when it being posted in public or in a small ranting area, when they could have use the ims or private message, it shows me they're immature and have no life by trying to destory those they hate or dislike...I've seen some people expessing nothing but anger, and that can cause alot of damaged on both sides even can cause them to lose more friends as well....I think it would be wise to discuss this issue between the two of you in private away from public viewers in order to get it solve otherwise it won't get solved if more people were being involved in this situation and I think some people needs to think real hard by asking themsevles if this is really neccessary to get others involved or gain more friends just to get back at the person that you are mad or upset at....

Think about it for a moment and then ask yourself am I doing the right thing? then you will know the answer only if you listen to your heart not your head...
 
Heart2Sign said:
.....

If you have AD issues, and you need to vent. Go to a friend, and get it resolved with that person first. Because then you DRAG THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY DOWN. (because all of us get pulled in when it's a member of AD against another member of AD).
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:gpost: that I agree totally...
 
Beautiful said, ^Angel^!!! :applause:
I agree with you 100 percent. It is so true that even though a person is not being named in a post, it will still make things worse. Dramas and arguments will start. It is getting old and annoying.
 
I think some of you don´t get what I trying explain here.

Again, I ask question:

How can you tell the difference between backstabbing and feeling expression?

Do you consider feeling expression/venting as backstabbing/insult? that´s what I am wondering about.
 
Heart2Sign said:
If you have family issues, and you need to vent. Great, let's hear it. It's going to only help you and such. We won't take it personally. Infact we'll help you and give you ideas (we aren't directly involved in the situation)
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Yes, that´s right.

If you have AD issues, and you need to vent. Go to a friend, and get it resolved with that person first. Because then you DRAG THE ENTIRE COMMUNITY DOWN. (because all of us get pulled in when it's a member of AD against another member of AD).
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Very true.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
I think some of you don´t get what I trying explain here.

Again, I ask question:

How can you tell the difference between backstabbing and feeling expression?

Do you consider feeling expression/venting as backstabbing/insult? that´s what I am wondering about.
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I'm sorry Liebling :(

To answer your question....Yes it does
 
Liebling:-))) said:
I think some of you don´t get what I trying explain here.

Again, I ask question:

How can you tell the difference between backstabbing and feeling expression?

Do you consider feeling expression/venting as backstabbing/insult? that´s what I am wondering about.
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Backstabbing is when you talk or gossip about a person whether named or not named.

To me, expressing out your feelings on a forum is when you need to talk about your personal problems but not about problems with other people. Problems between you and another person should be kept in private not out in public.

If anyone talks about another person out of anger for public viewers to read then it is considered as backstabbing. It should be kept out of public eyes. If there are no names mentioned several people will still figure out who you are talking about and it would bring more anger and drama into the discussions. It would drag more people into it.
 
Right, I totally agree with ButterflyGirl....
 
I want to clear up some misunderstanding that may happened awhile ago, it's really depends on how the venting goes, if the venting was something nice about a person, that that shouldn't be backstabbing as long it doesn't show it as an insult toward another person or to cause more pains , but being able to express of the reason why the friendship was destory and how to fix it then it should be okay...
 
ButterflyGirl said:
Backstabbing is when you talk or gossip about a person whether named or not named.

To me, expressing out your feelings on a forum is when you need to talk about your personal problems but not about problems with other people. Problems between you and another person should be kept in private not out in public.

If anyone talks about another person out of anger for public viewers to read then it is considered as backstabbing. It should be kept out of public eyes. If there are no names mentioned several people will still figure out who you are talking about and it would bring more anger and drama into the discussions. It would drag more people into it.
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It´s very immaturity when you talk or gossip negative about a person is understandable.

But feeling expression is different example about Angel´s, Cheri´s, DreamDeaf, Sign2Heart, more ADers´s and my thread... They vented what they think of something what and how they feeling. Example: I express my unhappy feeling in positive way and said nice thing about a person and thought a wonderful and describe a person as special person etc. sad how I lost a person to someone else.. etc.. Is it backstabbing or what?

You can´t compare backstabbing with feeling expression.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Example: I express my unhappy feeling in positive way and said nice thing about a person and thought a wonderful and describe a person as special person etc. sad how I lost a person to someone else.. etc.. Is it backstabbing or what?
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Actually it's not backstabbing since you didn't vent out of anger but only to express how deeply you were hurt by a friendship that you thought it would last a lifetime which it didn't....

Read my post above you LOL...
 
Originally Posted by ButterflyGirl
To me, expressing out your feelings on a forum is when you need to talk about your personal problems but not about problems with other people. Problems between you and another person should be kept in private not out in public.
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Liebling:-))) said:
It´s very immaturity when you talk or gossip negative about a person is understandable.

But feeling expression is different example about Angel´s, Cheri´s, DreamDeaf, Sign2Heart, more ADers´s and my thread... They vented what they think of something what and how they feeling. Example: I express my unhappy feeling in positive way and said nice thing about a person and thought a wonderful and describe a person as special person etc. sad how I lost a person to someone else.. etc.. Is it backstabbing or what?

You can´t compare backstabbing with feeling expression.
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Read again what I said. That's what I meant.
I am not comparing backstabbing with expressing our feelings.
 
I sure hope this is helping somebody as it's just going on and on and on like the battery bunny! LOL!
 
^Angel^ said:
Actually it's not backstabbing since you didn't vent out of anger but only to express how deeply you were hurt by a friendship that you thought it would last a lifetime which it didn't....

Read my post above you LOL...
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Yes it´s an exactly example what you described about. Ooohhh I didn´t see your post above after finish type my post to Butterflygirl... Oohhh...

Yes you are right what you thought about venting/ranting. It depend on different venting/ranting in positive and negative way...
 
ButterflyGirl said:
Read again what I said. That's what I meant.
I am not comparing backstabbing with expressing our feelings.
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:Oops: Sorry, I misread your post.. :Oops:
 
Cheri said:
:confused: I was only pointing out your post when you stated that nobody should bring personal issue in the forum, but it's ok for you to discuss about your husband or family members and you telling us we cannot? That's what I am pointing out, I don't see how the heck am I embarrassed or hulimated you??



You have no idea what you are talking about, I don't need to explain anything, You need to search some threads that members had already vented their feelings out already.



You need to practice what you preach lady, because honestly you have named members from here to another forum(s), not once but three time. Have you thought about anyone's feelings?
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Well, I have the rights to vent, because of the disagreement. I don't agree in some of your posts in the past and even in this present. It doesn't mean that I drew the line from ADers for good. I do still debate/confront to speak out of my mind. You need to practice what you preach young lady for callin' such names... like " croak in between throat " I don't think it is nice thing to say to someone. You made fun of them. That's an insultin' to hurt thier feelin'.
You think it is okay to say those names and you don't even know if, it hurts their feelin' or not...no matter, what you think, because you don't know what they think when they react from it.
 
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