How can you feel

diehardbiker65 said:
I understand your frustration. Counselor can only help you deal with your feelings. Counselor can not change your parents feeling. If parents need help with this issue, only themselves can make that move and ask for help.
Do what would make you happy, not what to make them happy. Would that it be fair for your parents to be happy and you are miserable?
Click to expand...

yup!!!!! :thumb: lol and also I have been with social worker before :)
 
DeafMonkey said:
that almost sound like my mom let my 3 sisters what they want cause they are all hearing and I am only deaf :dunno:
Click to expand...

dang, I am sorry..
I have seen him, his frustrating.. all he did is run away he got threats from parent like never welcome back nor help him but now parent got used and accept, cool now :)
 
In that situation right now...

I am 22 years old and my parents treats me as if I was still in high school. For the first time in years...I finally asked my dad to go out on a date and he said yes and that I was old enough to make my own decisions. However, I still feel trapped because just before 12 midnight, he was calling me and asking me where I was even though he knew damn well I told him where I was going to be the whole time.

Fortunately he didn't yell at me but after he called - I had to abruptly stop the date and rush home because I was dreading a second phone call from him. (Which will make him think the worse of my date - and I didn't want that because I like him too much).

My parents - my dad in particular for some reason think that I don't know anything because I am deaf. He think that he has to protect me from things and tell me things that I already know. (We can argue for 20 minutes...and he's yelling at the top of his lungs about how I don't know anything - yet when he talks to everybody else - he takes their suggestions)

To give an example of how much he treats me as a child: I have a twin brother. My twin brother got his first car when we were juniors in high school...his license shortly before that and learn how to drive a few months before the license. He also has a place on his own (my dad says it's because he's "responsible" - even though the boy is over here every other night asking for money for food and school). I on the other hand: didn't get my first car (and still haven't - they call the car that me and my mom has to share my car...yet they won't let me take it anywhere - especially at night), didn't get my license until 19 years (versus my brother at 17 years) and didn't learn to drive until a couple weeks before I got my license. My dad says that I was just too scared to drive :wtf: when in reality he just was buying a lot of time until he finally allowed me to get behind the wheel. (I credit that to the two wrecks I got in...if they taught me earlier maybe I would've learn how to drive better.

To make matters worse - he compare me to other people's childrens (some whom are younger) and says that they are doing a lot better than I am - all the while failing to see that he's actually holding me back from what I do. Furthermore, he feels as if he has to make decisions for me. I can get 4 calls from important companies and not hear from them until after he takes a message - AND I WAS HOME THE WHOLE TIME. :confused: I got so mad!

Well...I can drag on and on...but that's for private messaging...but I don't think anybody has parents like mine...they will treat me like a child until I move out.
 
deidra said:
I WAS HOME THE WHOLE TIME. :confused: I got so mad!

.
Click to expand...


same here while I was live with my mom and I stay home whole time never go out somewhere only I go with my mom go somewhere without myself. Till I move out at age 19 yrs old finally about the time but still stay home all the times .. I do go out with deaf ppl around sometime till now it brought it up more worse so I decided not go with deaf ppl in here anymore cause of I hate rumours that is all. all I tried to get into new life so i am still fight for it :)
 
You're not alone. It was very hard for my mom to let me go because she was always over-protective of me. She was a bit too controlling of me, too. We got into several arguements about it and the last arguement (at age 26 -- 8 years ago) was when I flew to Texas on my own. She was livid! I stayed with a friend for the long weekend.

When I came home my parents were still very angry, but understood why the way I did it. We talked for a long time about it and realized that I'm not a kid anymore. She saw how I handled the flight to Texas and back home on my own. I had to prove it to her that I'm an adult and finally she "got it".

I know what I did was wrong -- for scaring off my parents like that, but I had to do it and it worked. I was still living with my parents until I was 29 then moved out so I could live with my husband.

You just have to prove it to your parents that you're not a kid.
 
So how did you take the first move? What did you do to let her know that it was time for you to leave? That's where I have a problem - it's hard to really explain to them why I should leave home because they got a question for everything.
 
You had to stood up urself and your are older enough and u prove them wrongly that u can do it urself. And, they would realize that ur not a kid. My parents didn't want let me to go when i turned to be 18. But they re afraid that i would disappear if they wouldn't ever let me go. So they have no choice to let me go but worry of course and over protective over me. They realize that i'm as human being. Good luck Monkey, hopefully one day ur mom would understand that its time for u go.
 
Catmandu said:
You're not alone. It was very hard for my mom to let me go because she was always over-protective of me. She was a bit too controlling of me, too. We got into several arguements about it and the last arguement (at age 26 -- 8 years ago) was when I flew to Texas on my own. She was livid! I stayed with a friend for the long weekend.

When I came home my parents were still very angry, but understood why the way I did it. We talked for a long time about it and realized that I'm not a kid anymore. She saw how I handled the flight to Texas and back home on my own. I had to prove it to her that I'm an adult and finally she "got it".

I know what I did was wrong -- for scaring off my parents like that, but I had to do it and it worked. I was still living with my parents until I was 29 then moved out so I could live with my husband.

You just have to prove it to your parents that you're not a kid.
Click to expand...

You know what....I "ran" away from home a couple times - and that didn't prove to them anything. Probably because I did it with a guy each time lol...but if I leave - they cry...get worried and when i finally decide to come back - just when I thought things were going to get better - it just got worse. And my parents are religious to top all that off - always saying "We're going to pray for you" like I'm the devil's child. They say it like I'm the worse child ever!
 
Catmandu said:
You're not alone. It was very hard for my mom to let me go because she was always over-protective of me. She was a bit too controlling of me, too. We got into several arguements about it and the last arguement (at age 26 -- 8 years ago) was when I flew to Texas on my own. She was livid! I stayed with a friend for the long weekend.

When I came home my parents were still very angry, but understood why the way I did it. We talked for a long time about it and realized that I'm not a kid anymore. She saw how I handled the flight to Texas and back home on my own. I had to prove it to her that I'm an adult and finally she "got it".

I know what I did was wrong -- for scaring off my parents like that, but I had to do it and it worked. I was still living with my parents until I was 29 then moved out so I could live with my husband.

You just have to prove it to your parents that you're not a kid.
Click to expand...

Yeah I am going to fight for it !!! can't wait to have my job hope I get hire from the job and still fight for it ! to show my mom hmph! at my mom lol :lol: ahaha but still fight for it and cant wait to have my own counsellor to help it out hehe


deidra said:
You know what....I "ran" away from home a couple times - and that didn't prove to them anything. Probably because I did it with a guy each time lol...but if I leave - they cry...get worried and when i finally decide to come back - just when I thought things were going to get better - it just got worse. And my parents are religious to top all that off - always saying "We're going to pray for you" like I'm the devil's child. They say it like I'm the worse child ever!
Click to expand...

I did ran away once but I came back and my mom got into so ANGRY!!!! and hitting me alots arghh no fun!

SherryCherish said:
You had to stood up urself and your are older enough and u prove them wrongly that u can do it urself. And, they would realize that ur not a kid. My parents didn't want let me to go when i turned to be 18. But they re afraid that i would disappear if they wouldn't ever let me go. So they have no choice to let me go but worry of course and over protective over me. They realize that i'm as human being. Good luck Monkey, hopefully one day ur mom would understand that its time for u go.
Click to expand...


Yeah I am going to stood up myself and I am fight and show it my mom how I feel that I can do it :)
 
TweetyBird said:
i ask u, do u live alone right??
Click to expand...


Yes since I was 19 yrs old but right now roommate with my ex boyfriend .. he will move out and I will be alone again :)

I dont live with my mom since I was 19 yrs old .. now I am28 yrs old :)
 
DeafMonkey said:
Yes since I was 19 yrs old but right now roommate with my ex boyfriend .. he will move out and I will be alone again :)

I dont live with my mom since I was 19 yrs old .. now I am28 yrs old :)
Click to expand...
okay then u dont have to listen ur mother since u dont live with her.. so u can go anywhere u wanna go to! if i were u, i wont listen her cuz of i am old enuff and live on my own period.. if she dont like it then TOO BAD FOR HER!
 
Sometimes my mom do, then I turn out to be rebellious... Last year when the Legislature session started to go into night, and I have been out until late, and my mom and I always have fight when I get home or next day, she tought I was with druggies, doing drugs, but I never done drug or anything bad.. I was with dad/best friend hanging out or working at the Capitol. I always have to show her papers from the legislature as a PROOF that I was at the Capitol entire time.... I told her that I am NOT 16!!! THAT SHE CAN'T KEEP ON TREATING ME LIKE I AM 16 FOREVER! IF YOU DO, GO FIND A 16 YEARS OLD KID TO ADOPT AND PICK ON HER OR HIM NOT ME!!! I AM 24 OR ARE YOU LYING TO ME ABOUT MY ACTUAL AGE????? Sometimes mom ask where I was last night?? I had to tell her, remember I told ya???? I do live with mom, but I have my own decesion too. I did studying at the Capitol too, when Dad and I sat together in committee meeting, I usually read, and doing typical college homework to keep myself busy. I tend to walk away from when if my mom start to fight, and I told her that she loves problems and I ain't listening until she chill down.... sometimes she do need some chill pills.... Sometimes I told her to take a chill pills. I would be very grumpy, sometimes she ruins my mood and days. I told her I'm ignoring her til her 'tude changes... Sometimes she pick up fight for no reason....
 
DeafMonkey said:
I tried to tell my mom that I am old enough and still wont let me go and treat me like a kid so I decided to get a counsellor to help it out!
Click to expand...

Sounds good idea to going to Counselor to getting some of help since it did help me and my mom to getting along better than before, but still not good. Its personal to telling abt me and my mom's business. But, counselor could help your mom to understand better.
 
DeafMonkey said:
How do you feel if your parents wont let you go anywhere and treat you feel like a kid when you were over age 25 yrs old ?

I have been there and feel like trapped myself from my mom.
Click to expand...


Sorry to disappointing you, If you are still living under your parent's roof, They are allow to set rules applied in their home, doesn't matter the age. If you move out at the age of 18 then they have no right to control you. If you are 25 years old why are you living with your parents? Isn't it time to move out on your own, get a job and have your own place to live with your freedom of choice to do whatever you wishes to do because you are no longer under the same roof as your mother. Time to move out and face the real world, show your mother you're not a kid anymore. She will then leave you alone. But, If you are still living with your mother, She thinks you not growing up because you still living under her roof. ;)
 
Cheri said:
Sorry to disappointing you, If you are still living under your parent's roof, They are allow to set rules applied in their home, doesn't matter the age. If you move out at the age of 18 then they have no right to control you. If you are 25 years old why are you living with your parents? Isn't it time to move out on your own, get a job and have your own place to live with your freedom of choice to do whatever you wishes to do because you are no longer under the same roof as your mother. Time to move out and face the real world, show your mother you're not a kid anymore. She will then leave you alone. But, If you are still living with your mother, She thinks you not growing up because you still living under her roof. ;)
Click to expand...

Well, well... I am living with mom since her house is 5 minute bus ride/drive to my college, and it is easier for me to save my money. I know I am 24, but I need somewhere to live to be close to my school. I plan to move out in few years, hopefully back to St. Paul. I do help mom out with house when I have day offs or whatever like that. DM may have a reason for living with mom. I do love my mom but sometimes I need my own space like going to work or someplace elesewhere...
 
I have to admit I would allow my daughters to live with me to save their money if they re going to college or university plus I am not gonna to control or block wherever they want to go, also if they would like to move out/in their own place fine with me. There is no rule of my house for them, there is each of them own room they may feel their home here :)

:o let's wait and see

I wish DeafMonkey, Deidra and whoever similar that the best, take ur right time to move out like Catmandu at 29 finally moved out and now on her own life having wonderful family I am sure her mother is proud now :)
 
Cheri said:
Sorry to disappointing you, If you are still living under your parent's roof, They are allow to set rules applied in their home, doesn't matter the age. If you move out at the age of 18 then they have no right to control you. If you are 25 years old why are you living with your parents? Isn't it time to move out on your own, get a job and have your own place to live with your freedom of choice to do whatever you wishes to do because you are no longer under the same roof as your mother. Time to move out and face the real world, show your mother you're not a kid anymore. She will then leave you alone. But, If you are still living with your mother, She thinks you not growing up because you still living under her roof. ;)
Click to expand...

I dont live with my mom since I was 19 yrs old that I live alone for 10 yrs. I do have job before when I was 18 or 19 turned into 19 yrs old that I got a job wal mart for 3 yrs then I left wal mart for reasons cause i fed up with the boss and other ppl and got a job for almost 3 yrs but got lay off dang! so i go back to school to study for grahpic design for job. Right now my school like a college soon finish by next month and right now I am looking for job. I tried to tell my mom sound like treat me a kid. so now I am not doing act like a kid anymore and be strong woman have to. yes she did control me which it turned me off dont like it. :)
 
racheleggert said:
Well, well... I am living with mom since her house is 5 minute bus ride/drive to my college, and it is easier for me to save my money. I know I am 24, but I need somewhere to live to be close to my school. I plan to move out in few years, hopefully back to St. Paul. I do help mom out with house when I have day offs or whatever like that. DM may have a reason for living with mom. I do love my mom but sometimes I need my own space like going to work or someplace elesewhere...
Click to expand...

I dont live with my mom since I was 19 yrs old cuase i fed up to fight over with my sister. my sister always tell my mom to blame on me and got me grounded too many. While I was at high school and dorm from monday to friday and home on the weekend that tell me to clean up a house like i have to wash the dishes, clean livingroom, clean washroom, clean my bedroom .. what about my sisters??? my sisters dont clean that much cause they go out with friends or something only me on weekend to clean up make me mad so i had to move out and feel better till it getting worse *sighs* long story
 
DeafMonkey said:
I dont live with my mom since I was 19 yrs old that I live alone for 10 yrs. I do have job before when I was 18 or 19 turned into 19 yrs old that I got a job wal mart for 3 yrs then I left wal mart for reasons cause i fed up with the boss and other ppl and got a job for almost 3 yrs but got lay off dang! so i go back to school to study for grahpic design for job. Right now my school like a college soon finish by next month and right now I am looking for job. I tried to tell my mom sound like treat me a kid. so now I am not doing act like a kid anymore and be strong woman have to. yes she did control me which it turned me off dont like it. :)
Click to expand...


Oh, I owe you an apology then, I didn't know you were not living with your mother, You're right you are on your own and you can make you own decision what you want to do with your life, Your mother needs to back off alit bit and give you space and trust that you'll make a good decision in life. You can put your foot down and tell your mother that you're 28 years old and have your own life, all she can do is be there for you for support not bring you down. ;)
 
Back
Top