Hi! I'm Carmen, and I have some questions.

Carmen Lamiarum

Carmen Lamiarum

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Hello, everyone! :wave: I hope you are all doing well. I'm sorry if this is a long introduction.

My name is Carmen and I am 24 years old and live in the southeast region of N. America. I am getting married at the end of this month to the love of my life, Stephen, who is 27. We do not have any children, but hope to start our family in the next few years (after some "us time". *wink*)

I decided to join Alldeaf for a few reasons...

First of all, I am not Deaf, nor am I HOH. The same applies to Stephen. However, his aunt is HOH, and since we are joining our families, I have decided I would like to learn more about the Deaf Community (Is it Deaf World? Please correct me if I make mistakes. I want to learn!) and HOH life, and I want to learn ASL. So does my fiancee. So I guess my first question is...is it okay for me to be here and to learn about the Deaf World from these forums?

I understand that it would be insulting to the Deaf World to just learn ASL and not learn about the pride and the culture and the etiquette that comes with being Deaf. So I am hoping to start learning that here. My next question is, do you have any useful reminders for me? So far, one of my HOH friends has told me the following things:
~Always spell "Deaf" with a capital D. Deaf and HOH are proud. It is our lives, not a disability.
~Remember that your facial expression puts your signing into the right context. Speak with your eyes as much as you speak with your hands.
~Learn the history of ASL and the Deaf World in America. It's important.

Is there anything else I should know about Deaf culture?

:ty: for your time and for reading all of this. I have a lot more questions, but I'll stop here. If I have said anything rude I sincerely apologize. Like I said before, please correct me. I want to make sure I'm not being offensive.
 
you should marry a deaf guy !!:giggle: that way you can learn about the deaf culture. i think matajan is available. especially if you went to an ivy league school
 
Good morning Carmen- hope you enjoy your stay in this website which is much more than Deaf culture. Having a relative, Hard of Hearing though not deaf, does make things a bit personal for you. Knowing ASL will not as such assist you in "understanding hearing loss" effect on a person"
To understand what is called "Deaf culture" is to go back in time about 125 years to the effort to try and help deaf students learn using Speech rather than ASL. In fact, I understand ASL was "banned" in such schools thus the reaction that deafness is a "culture" not a "medical disability". That situation continued till the introduction from various experiments of the Cochlear Implant. Approximately 30 years ago. Now of course, accepted by as a means to "hearing". Not everyone does- re "Cultural" deaf. Thus the interesting split between "real" vs"cultural" deaf to this day. I became deaf on December 20/06 after having a Profound hearing loss for over 30 years. I started the process which in the end resulted in being accepted for a Cochlear Implant in 2007. Yeah, not everyone can benefit from an Implant.It has been pointed out that everyone person who gets an Implant rejects remaining deaf. The consequence of the Cochlear Implant is to decrease the number of people who relay only on ASL for communications. Thus the uproar on whether parents should "implant their deaf children" in order to "speak". Yeah even the thought that an Implant is an "instrument of genocide" has been thrown around.
An interesting world indeed Carmen.

Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07
 
ASL is a beautiful language, I'm learning..slowwwwly lol cuz I'm self teaching and getting help from my audi as well she's fluent in ASL

there is hoh (hard of hearing) or HoH everyone kinda spells it different
then there is little d deaf which is medically deaf and big D Deaf which is medically and/or culturally Deaf. Meaning Deaf is identifying as usually severe/profound or profound deaf and apart of Deaf culture i.e. ASL, isn't oral, believes in deaf culture etc

Many hoh/dDeaf people use hearing aids or sometimes don't use hearing aids. Some ASL users still use hearing aids and sometimes are oral users as well but it's a personal choice.
Cochlear Implants are usually only for severe/profound-profound hearing losses but there are always some exceptions to this requirement. For children the requirements are a bit more lax depending on how well you do with hearing aids (same goes with adults but adults can only get a cochlear implant (CI) but it's a bit different depending on speech scores).

Your husbands aunt is HOH and uses ASL? That's awesome:) Not many ppl who identify as HOH learn ASL.
Drphil is partly right but partly wrong. Not everyone who has an implant rejects being deaf or changes their identity from deaf to hearing. It's the persons choice how they identify but someone who has a CI will still be deaf regardless as when it comes off you are deaf and don't get sound unless you still have some remaining natural (residual) hearing after the CI surgery, some ppl still have residual hearing some ppl don't. Culturally Deaf folks more have a problem implanting children than adults getting implanted. Some parents who's kids benefit somewhat from hearing aids but also qualify for a CI usually just opt for CI instead of giving the hearing aids a chance. Usually this stems from their children not acquiring speech fast enough which is usually when parents opt for a CI for their children. Not many kids these days are give the "full toolbox" that being oral and ASL. Some parents start out with ASL and speech but as soon as they get a CI for their kids the ASL is soon dropped because they think of their children as "hearing" instead of deaf. Some doctors even tell parents NOT to teach their kids ASL as its not necessary or ASL will delay your child etc.
In my own opinion if I have a deaf child I would want them to be oral as well as be fluent in ASL because you never know if and when it will come in handy later on in life. Most children who know two languages do really well picking up other languages quickly ..and who doesn't like to be bilingual:) I wish I knew ASL and was fluent, unfortunately I wasn't born deaf..prolly woulda been a heck of a lot easier if I was. My mom has previously told me that *if* I was born deaf than she would have made sure ASL was taught to me as well as spoken and written english.

Don't be put off by some arguments that may happen in the Deaf community. Mostly this is whether or not a child should be implanted and in my opinion if all avenues are exhausted and the child is either not speaking nor getting any or little benefit from hearing aids than CI's are the appropriate route to go if a parent wants their child to be able to "hear". CI's only simulate hearing so to speak, it's a processed sound thats processed by a hearing processor kind of like a hearing aid and there are electrodes that are insterted into the Cochlear which picks up sounds converts the signals received by the electrode and turns them into "sound". The sounds with a CI aren't amplified like an Hearing aid (ha) but instead coded into sound instead. CI doesn't give you natural hearing but many ppl can get hear in the normal ranges of sound but just differently than natural hearing:)

Don't be turned off by some peoples points of view esp some of the people here who don't want to associate or identify as Deaf or part of the Deaf community. If you want to learn more about it and ASL and the Deaf culture that's YOUR choice and your husbands and I assure you it's an interesting culture and community. Some ppl are just bitter here, so ignore them:)

Hope to see you around alldeaf welcome to the forum:)
 
Well thought out and interesting read Alicia. Some very good advise. Just to be picky? The CI changes the sound into electrical pulses which are then sent to the nerve endings in the cochlear and the brain interprets sound. I believe in a normal? ear the small hairs in the cochlear move and create a very small electrical impulse which the brain interrupts as sound. The brain is kind of like a fantastic computer and works on electrical impulses.
 
Carmen there are 2 books that I got that really gave me a insight into the Deaf culture. I listed them below. But the best way for you to learn culture is to have Deaf friends. I have made quite a few since I started learning ASL and that has been the biggest help. The books below are good ways to learn some of the history and such but they cannot replace experience and the things you will learn from having Deaf friends.

Both of these books are by Harlan Lane
When The Mind Hears: A History Of The Deaf
A Journey into the Deaf-World
 
My opinions came from reading A Journey into the deaf world from the library.
It seems to me getting an Implant does in fact indicate one DOES NOT WANT TO remain DEAF. Why else would one want to have the costly operation? Not exactly a trivial matter. There is no turning back-all hearing is destroyed by the operation.One can accept "cultural deafness" in THEORY if ones wants- up to you.
If one is trying to understand Hearing loss a study of deafness would seem to be "beside the point".
Trying to learn ASL without having someone else in your immediate environment is difficult as it seems one needs to practice a great deal. Or from my personal experience a few years ago.

Advanced Bionics Harmony activated Aug/07
 
What do you mean his aunt is HOH? There is a broad range of meanings there.
 
Alica, actually I'd quibble that most Hoh people don't learn ASL. That is true, for late hoh folks, but I think when you're talking about pediatric hearing loss, it can be hit or miss. Some don't learn ASL, but some do....and we do get a lot of hoh folks here saying they wish they'd been exposed to ASL
 
Thank you for the replies, everyone. I will look at all the reading material you have suggested. I love to read, so it will be enjoyable for me.

In regard to my future husband's aunt being HOH, I guess I should have said she's partially Deaf? I'm not quite sure how to appropriately explain. She is fluent in spoken English, and I can have a conversation with her just fine without using ASL, I just have to talk very loud or make sure I'm standing in front of her. Even when she's around people who do not know ASL, she does it while she's talking. And you can hear in her diction when she speaks that she's almost completely Deaf. I have not asked her about it because I don't know her well and I am very shy and do not want to seem rude. I do not know if she has a CI or not, but I would assume she doesn't. Her son and daughter (one is just starting collage and the other is a sophomore in college) know ASL, but I have never seen them use it. I only know that because my fiancee told me she raised them with verbal English and ASL at the same time.

About making friends with those who are Deaf: I would LOVE to!!! But do you think it would be kind of offensive for me to want to start a friendship with someone just because they're Deaf? I understand that some people are proud to be Deaf, however, if someone wanted to be friends with me just because I'm American or have black hair, I wouldn't want to be friends with them. That would make me think they are being shallow. I would want someone to be my friend because they think I am smart or nice or fun to be around, you know? So while I would absolutely love love love to be more engaged in the Deaf community and have friends who are Deaf, I am not sure how to go about it. (Anyone in SE North America want to be my friend? Haha.) I only have one Deaf friend, and she lives far away, so we only get to talk via facebook or email.

I have lots of other questions. Is it okay if I ask them here?
 
Hi there! I am Deaf and use ASL. I love my life as a Deaf person. I grew up believing I was a broken hearing person because I was raised orally and never knew about the Deaf world until 25 years old. Now, 13 years later, I couldnt be happier accepting my deafness and being fluent in ASL. Made my life so much more worthwhile.

Welcome to AD and good luck!
 
Carmen Lamiarum said:
Thank you for the replies, everyone. I will look at all the reading material you have suggested. I love to read, so it will be enjoyable for me.

In regard to my future husband's aunt being HOH, I guess I should have said she's partially Deaf? I'm not quite sure how to appropriately explain. She is fluent in spoken English, and I can have a conversation with her just fine without using ASL, I just have to talk very loud or make sure I'm standing in front of her. Even when she's around people who do not know ASL, she does it while she's talking. And you can hear in her diction when she speaks that she's almost completely Deaf. I have not asked her about it because I don't know her well and I am very shy and do not want to seem rude. I do not know if she has a CI or not, but I would assume she doesn't. Her son and daughter (one is just starting collage and the other is a sophomore in college) know ASL, but I have never seen them use it. I only know that because my fiancee told me she raised them with verbal English and ASL at the same time.

About making friends with those who are Deaf: I would LOVE to!!! But do you think it would be kind of offensive for me to want to start a friendship with someone just because they're Deaf? I understand that some people are proud to be Deaf, however, if someone wanted to be friends with me just because I'm American or have black hair, I wouldn't want to be friends with them. That would make me think they are being shallow. I would want someone to be my friend because they think I am smart or nice or fun to be around, you know? So while I would absolutely love love love to be more engaged in the Deaf community and have friends who are Deaf, I am not sure how to go about it. (Anyone in SE North America want to be my friend? Haha.) I only have one Deaf friend, and she lives far away, so we only get to talk via facebook or email.

I have lots of other questions. Is it okay if I ask them here?
Click to expand...

Ask away!
 
Hello Carmen. I am Deaf and am slowly learning ASL. Like Shel90, I was born hoh and raised orally. I had hearing aids from ages 7-10 and ages 38-42. Money kept me from having them in the intervening years. I never knew about the Deaf culture until I was 40 or so. At 43, I lost all of my hearing due to a "freak" birth related issue. I am learning ASL by way of books, the internet and have attended one short small class.

Hope you have fun here on AllDeaf and no, we don't mind the questions. We are generally easy to get along with, but as AliciaM mentioned, Some do have their opinions and at times, some issues are very hotly debated.
 
deafdyke said:
Alica, actually I'd quibble that most Hoh people don't learn ASL. That is true, for late hoh folks, but I think when you're talking about pediatric hearing loss, it can be hit or miss. Some don't learn ASL, but some do....and we do get a lot of hoh folks here saying they wish they'd been exposed to ASL
Click to expand...

i never said most hoh ppl learned ASL? And rampratt I didn't go into the full delve of the CI cause I was lazy/tired from lipreading all morning..its getting to me! lol oops
 
Well I certainly do not mean to cause any discord. So if I ask something offensive or I'm out of line, please correct me. =0)

I guess I can list my questions, if that's okay...

1. I have heard discussions about "baby signing" or ASL for babies. Whether or not my future children are deaf, I want to raise them knowing ASL. What are the differences between baby signing and ASL? Is it okay to raise a baby with ASL and verbal English at the same time, or should I use baby signing? I'm not personally okay with the concept of "baby talk" in reference to verbal English. Is baby signing pretty much the equivalent?

2. My long distance friend suggested I attend Deaf meetings in my area to better expose myself to ASL and the Deaf community. My dad taught me to finger sign (is that the correct term? I mean the ASL alphabet) as a young child, but other than that and "Are you Deaf?" and "Please repeat that," I don't know any ASL. Should I learn more first or would it be better to go into that situation knowing what I know now and learn via immersion?

3. I've noticed a big difference in ASL vs. spoken English when it comes to grammatical structure. I've heard of ASL grammar referred to as "lazy English". Is this the appropriate term, or is it offensive? (For example, I know that in spoken English I would ask, "Are you Deaf?" But in ASL it's technically, "Deaf you?")

4. I heard a story in college about a girl in an ASL class who was trying to sign "Thank you" and accidentally signed "f*** you" to her professor and she was very embarrassed. I'm so scared of doing this by accident. Is there a good reference tool I can use to make sure I know the difference and avoid saying something horrible?

5. I found this link and have begun reading all of the lessons. I think it's basically an online text for an ASL course. Would someone please glance at it really quick and let me know if it is an acceptable learning tool? I don't like to learn things the wrong way, and if I am going to mostly be teaching myself, I want to make sure I'm learning from an accurate source.
Learn ASL

I'm sure I have even more, but I'll stop there for now. =0)
 
Carmen Lamiarum said:
Well I certainly do not mean to cause any discord. So if I ask something offensive or I'm out of line, please correct me. =0)

I guess I can list my questions, if that's okay...

1. I have heard discussions about "baby signing" or ASL for babies. Whether or not my future children are deaf, I want to raise them knowing ASL. What are the differences between baby signing and ASL? Is it okay to raise a baby with ASL and verbal English at the same time, or should I use baby signing? I'm not personally okay with the concept of "baby talk" in reference to verbal English. Is baby signing pretty much the equivalent?


ASL is a language and any language a child whether they are deaf or hearing has FULL access to is wonderful for their cognitive development. It hasnt harmed my hearing son. He is fluent in ASL at 4 years old now.

2. My long distance friend suggested I attend Deaf meetings in my area to better expose myself to ASL and the Deaf community. My dad taught me to finger sign (is that the correct term? I mean the ASL alphabet) as a young child, but other than that and "Are you Deaf?" and "Please repeat that," I don't know any ASL. Should I learn more first or would it be better to go into that situation knowing what I know now and learn via immersion?

It depends on your comfort level...


3. I've noticed a big difference in ASL vs. spoken English when it comes to grammatical structure. I've heard of ASL grammar referred to as "lazy English". Is this the appropriate term, or is it offensive? (For example, I know that in spoken English I would ask, "Are you Deaf?" But in ASL it's technically, "Deaf you?")

Saying ASL is lazy English is an insult to the language. It is like saying French is lazy English. ASL is its own language separate from English just like French, Japanese, and Spanish is. People who say that are very very ignorant about cultural and language differences.

4. I heard a story in college about a girl in an ASL class who was trying to sign "Thank you" and accidentally signed "f*** you" to her professor and she was very embarrassed. I'm so scared of doing this by accident. Is there a good reference tool I can use to make sure I know the difference and avoid saying something horrible?

Practice practice...you will make mistakes and best to learn from them.

5. I found this link and have begun reading all of the lessons. I think it's basically an online text for an ASL course. Would someone please glance at it really quick and let me know if it is an acceptable learning tool? I don't like to learn things the wrong way, and if I am going to mostly be teaching myself, I want to make sure I'm learning from an accurate source.
Learn ASL

I havent looked at it..too tired..will get back to you on that one.

I'm sure I have even more, but I'll stop there for now. =0)
Click to expand...

Hope I helped some. :)
 
I will answer what I can. I am sure someone will beat me to it as well.

Carmen Lamiarum said:
Well I certainly do not mean to cause any discord. So if I ask something offensive or I'm out of line, please correct me. =0)

I guess I can list my questions, if that's okay...

1. I have heard discussions about "baby signing" or ASL for babies. Whether or not my future children are deaf, I want to raise them knowing ASL. What are the differences between baby signing and ASL? Is it okay to raise a baby with ASL and verbal English at the same time, or should I use baby signing? I'm not personally okay with the concept of "baby talk" in reference to verbal English. Is baby signing pretty much the equivalent?
I've been told yes, it is very much the equivalent. I myself just watched a few Signing Times DVD's from the library today.

2. My long distance friend suggested I attend Deaf meetings in my area to better expose myself to ASL and the Deaf community. My dad taught me to finger sign (is that the correct term? I mean the ASL alphabet) as a young child, but other than that and "Are you Deaf?" and "Please repeat that," I don't know any ASL. Should I learn more first or would it be better to go into that situation knowing what I know now and learn via immersion?
I would contact a local deaf club, if there is one there, and ask for their preferences. Some accept people new to learning and some prefer people with a good vocabulary.

3. I've noticed a big difference in ASL vs. spoken English when it comes to grammatical structure. I've heard of ASL grammar referred to as "lazy English". Is this the appropriate term, or is it offensive? (For example, I know that in spoken English I would ask, "Are you Deaf?" But in ASL it's technically, "Deaf you?")
ASL grammar has it's own structure and is easy for some and hard for others. The advice I got was to forget what I learned about English grammar and think like Yoda from Star Wars.

4. I heard a story in college about a girl in an ASL class who was trying to sign "Thank you" and accidentally signed "f*** you" to her professor and she was very embarrassed. I'm so scared of doing this by accident. Is there a good reference tool I can use to make sure I know the difference and avoid saying something horrible?
Newbies at ASL will have mistakes. Even some seasoned users will "flub" up once in a while. It's a part of life to make innocent mistakes, no matter whether it's learning ASL, learning another language or even cooking.

5. I found this link and have begun reading all of the lessons. I think it's basically an online text for an ASL course. Would someone please glance at it really quick and let me know if it is an acceptable learning tool? I don't like to learn things the wrong way, and if I am going to mostly be teaching myself, I want to make sure I'm learning from an accurate source.
Learn ASL
Answered this already with another post above this one.

I'm sure I have even more, but I'll stop there for now. =0)
Click to expand...

Hope this helps.
 
1. I believe baby sign is just basic words like baby words. Hungry, milk, cookie, tired, etc
2. there are plenty of Deaf meets usually in pples areas if your in a larger city. Maybe try to learn a bit more phrases so that you can explain you want to learn more so they think you aren't just an ASL student trying to learn more from them for a short period of time. Some deafies will be awesome and open to let you learn, others however won't be so nice.
3. ASL has a different grammar structure, it's not "lazy" it's just the way that it was done. I believe Subject, verb, noun but not positive on that...under ASL there is PSE (pidgeoned signed english) and SEE (signed exact english) ASL is a language PSE and SEE are methods. Signed Exact english uses ASL hand motions but signed in english grammar..can't member how PSE works
4. Practice practice practice...my fluent ASL audi has even made mistakes before with hamburger and friend or something like that one is a fist and one isn't
5.website isn't bad but video is a bit small to learn from..i like seeing things bigger on my screen but that's my preference:) there are PLENTY of ASL sites as well
 
:welcome: to AllDeaf forum. Even though I was born deaf, I had to go to mainstream school (both elementary and high school) which is oral-only method program. I hated that method very much and I had talked to my principal to have sign language like ASL to be in the program so that it would have been easy for me to communicate with deaf/hard of hearing students and getting ASL interpreters in all my classes which was mainly in most hearing classes. The principal said no and that sign language is bad and thought that deaf/hard of hearing should learn to read lips and spoken language without the use of ASL. I was upset about it. It was hard for me to understand what was going on in the classroom but somehow I managed to graduated from high school. So after high school I started to learn ASL from a Lutheran Deaf Pastor (had a Deaf church). I was about 21 years old to learn ASL and it had opened a new door or chapter into my life and I felt a relieve off my shoulder and I was very happy to sign with the Deaf communities. Now I am old and still use ASL. I taught my hearing son to sign when he was a toddler. So he is a CODA (Children Of Deaf Adults). ASL is a language and not a lazy one at that. This is how we communicate so that we can understand just like French or Spanish.

You will learn a lot about our experiences and to get to learn about deafness, Deaf Culture and other topics that we can discuss or debate. So have fun reading and posting all the threads here. See you around here. :wave:
 
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