hearing mom needs help with disciplining deaf son

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Mandamay28

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HI. I have a son who is HOH ( moderatly severe ). I am having hard time finding ways to correct his bed behavior. Things that worked for my daughter seem to not work for him. Not sure if this is from his deafness or just because he's a boy.
He wears hearing aids and understands "no" and "stop" but doesn't respond very often. He responds more to sign language.
Looking for age appropriate discipine suggestions.

Thanks!!
 
Mandamay28 said:
HI. I have a son who is HOH ( moderatly severe ). I am having hard time finding ways to correct his bed behavior. Things that worked for my daughter seem to not work for him. Not sure if this is from his deafness or just because he's a boy.
He wears hearing aids and understands "no" and "stop" but doesn't respond very often. He responds more to sign language.
Looking for age appropriate discipine suggestions.

Thanks!!
Click to expand...

Hard to say without you telling his age.
 
Taking the car keys away worked wonders on my brothers.
 
How old is your son.

If he is old enough, taking his car keys away would do.
 
The solution seems pretty simple. Sign with him. It's possible he's looking for attention. Negative attention is better than no attention at all.
 
Mandamay28 said:
HI. I have a son who is HOH ( moderatly severe ). I am having hard time finding ways to correct his bed behavior. Things that worked for my daughter seem to not work for him. Not sure if this is from his deafness or just because he's a boy.
He wears hearing aids and understands "no" and "stop" but doesn't respond very often. He responds more to sign language.
Looking for age appropriate discipine suggestions.

Thanks!!
Click to expand...

If he responds to sign language then use it to talk to him & discipline him. I am hearing, my son is too. But he knew stop & no in ASL long before he learned any vocal words.
 
Signing time out and walking him to the time out destination - getting down to his level signing to him what the issue is and making sure he understands (whether it no hitting-no screaming-no rough play) make sure he understands what hes being punished for otherwise the same will continue to happen ( also the Mom of a Severely Deaf daughter - 29 months)
 
You said ur son knows the signs of "No & Stop"...so..just sayin', I guess he is probably under the age of 5?....If so, I would try this tactic...squat down to his eye level and sign "Bed time"....even lay down with him for a few minutes if necessary. I would smile and be pleasent, but firm.

Could there be a "reason" he doesn't want to go to bed? Maybe needing a night light?....Or his having too much caffeine (sodas, etc.) before bedtime?

How about a stuffed toy, or his favorite toy to sleep with? Even a pet, if you have one....

One of my sons, at age 6 (when I adopted him) had nightmares and was afraid of the dark...a night light solved the problem, even leaving the bedroom door slightly ajar so he could see the light in another room....He also was terrified to go to the bathroom alone...I never did find out why...so I had his older brother go with him....eventually, he understood that he was safe.

Patience is the key! Along with hugs and kisses...good luck!
 
I'm sorry, my son is only 20 months old. I do sign "no" and "stop". Whereas is does work sometimes, most of the time just smiles or even laughs and continues with what he was doing.
Turning the TV on and off is one thing I can not seem to beak him of. Also standing on the kitchen chairs and living room furniture. He has also been resisting me when I try to redirect him. He will flail his body and scream and cry. It is hard to get his attention so he can see me sign when he's in this state. I also am not fluent in sign. We are learning but like with any new language it takes time. We go to a deaf/HOH group twice a week and he has speech therapy once a week.
My daughter is 4 years old (hearing) and we never really had issues with her. She has always been very easy. My son is a bit more challenging.
What do/did you do to discipline at this age?
 
It could just be his age. Terrible 'twos.'

My three daughters were very good and obedient. Responded to timeouts and having favourite things taken away.

My son, my youngest, was a little hellion. Busy, busy all the time. He did not come with remote to 'power off.' He was birth control. No more kids after him. :giggle:

Consistency is important. Naughty behaviour has a consequence each time. He will learn, "If I do this I'm going to get in trouble." Showing frustration, or exasperation, with him shows him he is boss (ie: ha ha, I'm making Mummy mad). Try not to show frustration. It's hard especially when you add the challenge of his being Deaf. Showing no expression when putting him to timeout, or whatever else you try, and continuing to show no expression if he keeps leaving timeout location, will teach him he is being ignored for naughty behaviour.

Of course, rewarding him for good behaviour is also important. Lots of affection and hugs and kisses. This also teaches him good behaviour is better than naughty behaviour.

Good for you and your family to learn ASL and going to your group. I hope your daughter is also learning ASL? Sometimes siblings can communicate with each other and reason with each other better than the parent can. If she can also sign this will help you in the future.
 
Mandamay28 said:
I'm sorry, my son is only 20 months old. I do sign "no" and "stop". Whereas is does work sometimes, most of the time just smiles or even laughs and continues with what he was doing.
Turning the TV on and off is one thing I can not seem to beak him of. Also standing on the kitchen chairs and living room furniture. He has also been resisting me when I try to redirect him. He will flail his body and scream and cry. It is hard to get his attention so he can see me sign when he's in this state. I also am not fluent in sign. We are learning but like with any new language it takes time. We go to a deaf/HOH group twice a week and he has speech therapy once a week.
My daughter is 4 years old (hearing) and we never really had issues with her. She has always been very easy. My son is a bit more challenging.
What do/did you do to discipline at this age?
Click to expand...
Ohh I have 17 month old grandosn, he loves to turn and off tv and I let him till he gets bored with it. Of course he is learning to be sly with us when we said no to him on something. We let him threw tantrum and cry, we ingore him till he realizes that we don't accept that kind of behavior. We have not use time out with him yet but will use it if it needs to. I hope things will improve with your son, I am so sorry. I used threw tantrum with my parents because I had no way of telling them what I want or I need.
 
Take time to stand back and observe your son throughout the whole week of activities. Watch for any signs that may trigger this bad behaviour. You were saying he responds better to sign, then it could just be that he is trying to communicate to you that he prefers that method, or something like that. This bad behaviour may be his way of communicating that he is protesting something and wanting to let you know.
 
He's beginning those "terrible 2's"!...and I admit, boys are somewhat worse than girls....it's normal...getting into everything!...So whenever you catch him doing something wrong or dangerous, perhaps sign "NO"! if he persists, a small smack on the hands and repeat "NO"!...Take him away from whatever he is doing wrong...let him scream, flail or cry...but do not give in to the bad behavior....

Since ur child is deaf, remember to SIGN and even speak at the same time, he needs to see you do it visually....Make sure ur home is child-proof at this age, it's important....If he has a high chair, it's a good and safe place to make him stay there while you are cooking, cleaning, etc., or a play pen....keep him within your visual range at this age.
 
Mandamay28 said:
I'm sorry, my son is only 20 months old. I do sign "no" and "stop". Whereas is does work sometimes, most of the time just smiles or even laughs and continues with what he was doing.
Turning the TV on and off is one thing I can not seem to beak him of. Also standing on the kitchen chairs and living room furniture. He has also been resisting me when I try to redirect him. He will flail his body and scream and cry. It is hard to get his attention so he can see me sign when he's in this state. I also am not fluent in sign. We are learning but like with any new language it takes time. We go to a deaf/HOH group twice a week and he has speech therapy once a week.
My daughter is 4 years old (hearing) and we never really had issues with her. She has always been very easy. My son is a bit more challenging.
What do/did you do to discipline at this age?
Click to expand...

My hearing son was much more challenging than my hearing daughter at that age.. My mom said that my brother gave her a much harder time than I did and I am a girl and older than him. We are both deaf. Deafness has nothing to do with it. It is the terrible twos and also having different personalities as well. Just keep doing what you are doing such as redirecting him and say no or remove him from the situation. It is not an easy job but it seems like you are on the right track!
 
rebeccalj said:
It could just be his age. Terrible 'twos.'

My three daughters were very good and obedient. Responded to timeouts and having favourite things taken away.

My son, my youngest, was a little hellion. Busy, busy all the time. He did not come with remote to 'power off.' He was birth control. No more kids after him. :giggle:

Consistency is important. Naughty behaviour has a consequence each time. He will learn, "If I do this I'm going to get in trouble." Showing frustration, or exasperation, with him shows him he is boss (ie: ha ha, I'm making Mummy mad). Try not to show frustration. It's hard especially when you add the challenge of his being Deaf. Showing no expression when putting him to timeout, or whatever else you try, and continuing to show no expression if he keeps leaving timeout location, will teach him he is being ignored for naughty behaviour.

Of course, rewarding him for good behaviour is also important. Lots of affection and hugs and kisses. This also teaches him good behaviour is better than naughty behaviour.

Good for you and your family to learn ASL and going to your group. I hope your daughter is also learning ASL? Sometimes siblings can communicate with each other and reason with each other better than the parent can. If she can also sign this will help you in the future.
Click to expand...

What she said, I agree with.
 
Mandamay28 said:
I'm sorry, my son is only 20 months old. I do sign "no" and "stop". Whereas is does work sometimes, most of the time just smiles or even laughs and continues with what he was doing.
Turning the TV on and off is one thing I can not seem to beak him of. Also standing on the kitchen chairs and living room furniture. He has also been resisting me when I try to redirect him. He will flail his body and scream and cry. It is hard to get his attention so he can see me sign when he's in this state. I also am not fluent in sign. We are learning but like with any new language it takes time. We go to a deaf/HOH group twice a week and he has speech therapy once a week.
My daughter is 4 years old (hearing) and we never really had issues with her. She has always been very easy. My son is a bit more challenging.
What do/did you do to discipline at this age?
Click to expand...

Children this age are just learning that they are independent creatures, and they take every opportunity to assert that. It is very normal developmental behavior. So, what you don't want to do is make him afraid to explore and assert himself by being too frequent or harsh with punishment.
This is the time for you to be very, very consistent. If he gets up from bed, take him back and sign, "No. Bedtime now." Continue to do it until he finally stays in bed. It can be frustrating and tiring, but it is necessary. The first night he may get up 20 times. The second night only 15 times. And so on until he finally stays in bed. When he finally stays in bed, praise him for reaching that goal.

The same applies to time outs or any other thing he is having difficulty with. Consistency is the key, and praise when the goal is reached. Because of the communication difficulties, it is even more important with a deaf child that you are clear and consistent regarding these things.
 
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