"Have You Found Jesus?"

rockin'robin

rockin'robin

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A drunk stumbles along a baptismal service on Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to walk down into the water and stand next to the Preacher.

The minister turns and notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, Are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes, Preacher... I sure am."

The minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the preacher asked.

"No, I didn't!" said the drunk.

The preacher then dunks him under for quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now, brother, have you found Jesus?"

"No, I did not Reverend."

The preacher in disgust holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him out of the water and says in a harsh tone, "My Good man, have you found Jesus yet?"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and asks the preacher... "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
 
BAPTIST SQUIRRELS


There were four country churches in a small TEXAS town: The Presbyterian Church, the Baptist Church, the MethodistChurch and the Catholic Church.

Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian Church called
a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there
and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

In the METHODIST CHURCH the squirrels had taken up habitation in the baptistery Bowl.
The deacons met and decided to put a cover on the baptistery bowl and drown the squirrels in it. The squirrels escaped somehow and there were twice as
many there the next week.

The Catholic group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creation. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set
them free a few miles outside of town.

Three days later, the squirrels were back.

But -- the BAPTIST CHURCH came up with the best and most effective solution.
They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they
only see them on Christmas and Easter!!.
 
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