Hard night...

I understand what your going thru sorta.. my family has been understanding of things tho except for the extended part but i could care less how they treat me as a deaf person of the family. My mom always turns the tv louder for me cuz she knows when i dont say anything and look confused that its not loud enough lol i have cc on my own tv in my room and we have surround sound in the living room with a speaker right beside where i always sit on the couch so im good:)

It's ok to be mad but don't be mad for long, they don't know what it's like and they won't learn off the bat to do things, it's sad but that's the way it goes. If i had gone from hearing straight to deaf 3 years ago i'd be overwhelmed but with the help of a few ppl, AD, and an interest in Deaf culture I'm not letting the fact that i'm now deaf, bother me. I know it's a bit different for u since u have mineires (spelling?-sorry im tired lol) but being hearing before and deaf now at least we can have that experience of knowing what almost everything sounds like which Ddeaf people from birth don't have. Just be thankful for things and ull be ok:) I'm just happy to have good working hearing auds and a great audi!
 
candybrowneyes said:
It wasnt even that loud or so I thought but who knows.. They could talk and hear eachother just fine that is why I was so frustrated. Then they have the audacity to complain that I don't want to spend time around them.
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I wonder what they would feel if you turned the TV sound completely off, so they could watch it same as you. My mother turns her TV so loud you can feel it, and there is no way I can talk to her when she does this. My HA would start to smoke from the noise! :lol: Any chance that you can find a friend with ASL skills; get them together when family is near and let the signs flow as your family scratch their heads and wonder WTF you are saying. Was reading another topic here from a hearing, asking why deafs, in general, are somewhat unfriendly towards hearies. This topic would be a good start. "Walk a mile in our shoes before you try to understand us." I know the path you are taking. I lost many lifelong friends when I began my journey into silence, but I also gained an experience most do not ever have opportunity for.
 
Sorry to hear about the captioning bit. I think that people need to be more considerate of the needs to others, service to others and not self, etc.

Your parents need to realize that you cannot understand what's on without the captions. You gotta make noise sometimes and do it without any fear.
 
Personally I'd suggest a talk with your parents... face to face with nobody getting in your way. Explain everything calmly about how you feel and how they make you feel. Then also ask them how THEY feel... some parents tend to be in denial about what is happening to their child. If they have feelings (sorry to say it so bluntly) they will listen to you and try to understand.

In the meantime, here's my promised :hug: for you.

Jamie
 
Jamie lynn's right, I faced this suitation when i was at home with my family (parents and brother) It got so bad that i went out and bought tv of my own, Set it up with out my parents knowledge in my bed room. I was 12 or so. I also lived at boarding school and comes home to loneliness since i don't have any friends around locally. When my tv was set and i had it on mute but with subtitles. It took weeks before my parents realised that i am not downstairs as usual... they found out about the tv. Of course they flipped their lid and said no wonder they don't see me much these days. I told them I would see them if there is subtitles on TV or whats the point of me watching tv without subtitles as i cannot understand a thing!! and not enjoying the family time. I also said that Brother should accept me having the tv because he always brings friends home and play games on with tv... what am i supposed to do, (i do go swimming, to park, take dog for walk, bake cakes all on me own so boring doing this on my own most of the time)!! , I weren't allowed to bring my friends from school home because we make too much noise! They realised i was right and been hard on me. I was born deaf... they should know that things would be hard on me, communcation wise, loneliness, making new friends locally. In the end we have few hours of together time downstairs with subtitles, Parents finally let me bring friends home on condition not to make noise in the morning or late evening, things were great since then. I am now 31 and parents lives in other country. When i visit them they make sure that the subtitles is on!! :)
They did get my brother a tv when he was 14 (he's a year younger than me) we never saw him again!!! LOL...
 
what am i supposed to do, (i do go swimming, to park, take dog for walk, bake cakes all on me own so boring doing this on my own most of the time)!!
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I’d bake cookies with you anytime!!!!!!! :giggle: And we would eat them all by ourselves too!!!!

Jamie
 
Would it help if you got a loop system and fitted it to your parents TV. I have one and they're not too expensive or difficult to fit. Then you can have the TV on at normal volume for your parents and turn the loop system up as loud as you need it, without disturbing them. Also, if you have an fm system, you could put the microphone by the TV. I do this sometimes, I did it when my old loop system broke down.

I hope that helps.
 
if you get an fm u can plug it into the tv as well..if it's a newer tv prolly 2000 (the year) and up there wud be an input and an output for the fm to the tv and u get a cable for it..at least i did for my fm system:)
 
Do u have a headphone? u can use that for ur own private room if u get one another TV.
 
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Thank you everyone for your input on this situation. Yes my audi has spoken with me about FM systems and such. Which I do not have a problem doing. The issue was just that they were so careless to my feelings. Even with the FM system Id want the captions on.
 
candybrowneyes said:
Thank you everyone for your input on this situation. Yes my audi has spoken with me about FM systems and such. Which I do not have a problem doing. The issue was just that they were so careless to my feelings. Even with the FM system Id want the captions on.
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Totally Understand what you are saying. If this was just anyone. Who would give a damn. But your parents, Damn!


The next time your parents ask you to come over. I hate to sound harsh and rude about this. But it is time for you to stand up to them, and tell them to quit making you feel so guilty for your hearing loss. It is not your fault, It is not their fault.

You have talked to them until you are blue in the face. Do not try to please them, or compromise with them anymore.

Tell them if they do not like it, then you will no longer come over. They may be pissed for a while. but you do need to make some stipulations in order for them to understand. Do not be nice about it anymore. As much as it hurts you. You basically have to tell them if they can not deal with you anymore then it is their loss.

I know....I have done it before.. not about my hearing loss. It was about other situations. It is about your parents accepting who you are.

When I did it... My parents did not talk to me for almost 6 months...they eventually came to realize.



You do not have to take my advice. You know your parents more than I do.

This is what I have done to mine. As hurtful it was.. I felt that is what I had to do to get them to understand my feelings.
 
I'm going to ignore the soap opera and the result psychological and offer some practical CC advice. Tell them that we can watch it with CC, watch it extremely loudly, or not watch at all.

^babyblue said it right.
 
Everything'll be ok, it just takes some people a while to understand. It took several months before my parents even started to realize what it's like to be bipolar (they still dont, but at least they're starting to)
 
Ribs said:
Everything'll be ok, it just takes some people a while to understand. It took several months before my parents even started to realize what it's like to be bipolar (they still dont, but at least they're starting to)
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I believe there is a rule we leave mental illness out of the general threads.
 
candybrowneyes said:
I feel so terrible sometimes, not because I have troubles hearing things but how the people that are supposed to help me, and understand that this is very hard for me.

Tonight I was watching TV at my parents house. They won't put the CC on the tv for me because they hate when I have the TV up loud. I can't even watch TV with my family because they just dont care. I turned it up and my dad who was in their bedroom SLAMMED his door shut. The whole time my mom was watching with me and she was telling me to turn it down, so I turn it down a little and I ask her can I please put the CC on and she seriously had to ask me "Why?" and then says "I dont like it on there, it gets in the way"

I finally just turned it down and left. And now I am sitting here crying because I can tell them over and over again how I feel and then they wonder why I never want to spend time there with them. Making me feel bad because I cannot hear when they do nothing to help me, something as simple as CC? My dad got so mad he had to slam the bedroom door??

:cry:
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First of all, I'm very sorry how and what you had through. It's really sad that your parents have no understanding and respect you for your feeling. I know what it alike because I had through with my Dad & step-mom before.

Let me tell you how you should not feel bad... and why you should take Jamielynn's advice (post #25).

I visited my Dad & step-mom, and watched TV together... I used subtitles but my Dad told me off to switch subtitles off because it bothers his eyes. I can't say anything against him because it's his house... Yes, it hurts me because it shows itself that my own Dad has no understanding and respect for my feeling...

They called me on the phone at work telling me to come over for dinner tonight. I told her that I can't make it up tonight... They urged me to go to see them... I told them Okay, but I have to stay with them for one hour then go home because I want to watch movies with subtitles... It was like hitted their head real hard and know why I frequent postponed my visit to them... and told me that they want to straight out with me... I went to them... We straight the thing out and understood why I need subtitles to help me understand what TV says. They were sort of upset and said why I did'nt confronted them an earlier... I explained that I respect them for not want to have subtitles on TV in their house... That's why I watch TV with subtitles in my place... I recommend you to take JamieLynn's advice to straight out with your parents telling them how you feeling like what you told us here. Sure, they would understand you better if you confront them with your feeling about CC...
 
On another side note I'd like to add that bf and I watch regulary TV (roll eyes). I mean we sometimes watch French TV shows/movies which of course I have no troubles following. But I LOVE to watch american sappy movies and if we do I have to have them in English! Bf is stuck reading subtitles... neither I nor he cares...

It's just something to get used to and I seriously don't understand what the point is and I fairly doubt that those subtitles are any different than the ones for Deaf people, or am I missing something?

Jamie
 
no they are the same jamie! lol
I am leaving tonight for a competition in myrtle beach and we have about 45 girls on our bus and they are going to have to deal with the captions for the movies seeing as I won't be able to hear the movie playing with ppl talking etc.
 
AliciaM said:
no they are the same jamie! lol
I am leaving tonight for a competition in myrtle beach and we have about 45 girls on our bus and they are going to have to deal with the captions for the movies seeing as I won't be able to hear the movie playing with ppl talking etc.
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Have fun at Myrtle Beach! I guess it's all sunny there... Maybe you should think about taking one of Jiro's :cool2: with you *grin*

I'm sure they'll survive... seriously I don't know where the problem is... people sometimes tend to do fuss about nothing... :roll:

Jamie
 
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