Had suicidal thoughts before?

also i am on anxiety med too.. i stopped take depression last week cuz of dr say that depression caused my body weak and hurt...
 
TweetyBird said:
also i am on anxiety med too.. i stopped take depression last week cuz of dr say that depression caused my body weak and hurt...
Click to expand...

What do you mean by making your body weak and hurt from taking anti-depressants?
 
Oh yeah, I had commit suicide while I was still in high school and during my marriage also...

During my high school years there were so many things going on, my parents divorce, my real mom beaten us, a friend from my class killed himself, my ex bf broke my heart, it was just too much to deal with, so I was feeling so depressed to the point where I didn't want to live no more.....While my real mom was working, and my sister Cheri went off with a friend to church, and it was a perfect time for me to do it, so I went in the kitchen, took out the electric knife, and put the two sharp knife in the electric machine, plug it in the bathroom and pressed the electric knife on my left arm, and let it move back and fourth, but knife got a bit jammed up so I moved it to another area of my arm so I could cut myself even more, I end up slicing my skin 8 times in a row which I have 8 scars on my arm, and by the time Cheri arrived home, she was the one who grabbed it away and end up having her friend taking me to the hospital and end up having stitches....


During my trouble marriage, this happened after my second child, I came to the point where the abuse was getting too much, so I tried to hang myself in the bathroom shower but it rod fell off, wasn't strong enough to hold....I tried to take a bottle of pills, but dump it out in the toliet, and I got tired of my ex husband kept calling me a bunch of fat names and etc, so I end up starving myself every day until every 7 th day, I would eat something little just to keep me going....I end up the hospital 3 times over that.....Then things changes later after seeing my second son hidding in the closet when my ex husband throw his temper around, and the abuse was getting out of control, so I stop feeling sorry for myself and do something about it, instead of sitting around being depressed, and trying to end my life without thinking how my kids will live without their mother, all those questions were running through my mind, so I stop being depressed about how things are going around in my life knowing that life can get tough sometimes, and there are other ways to make your life better without having to end your life....I put my children first, and start working on becoming stronger person and be able to leave without looking back, so I did....And now I'm the happiest woman who has a great relationship with someone who is such a gentleman, and I have my beautiful sons to raises and to be there for them whatever they need me....

Now that I looked up to God even more when I'm feeling down on some things, and later I feel better knowing He's there right beside me, and an angel too.....
 
TweetyBird said:
i was turned 16 yrs old, i admitted to my mom about my 3rd stepfather that he did touched my area when i was 4 and half yrs old, my mom, him and i lived in houtson, texas... he pulled my hand on his area to play, i dont know what that and i was scared... til we moved to alabama 84, he did to me again while my mom was sleep... so he made me to not tell anyone or even my mom or he will hurt me... so i got scared and hold myself til i turned 16 yrs old, i felt ready to tell my mom on the phone, i was at my dorm... she dont believe what i say.. so i got brokeheart and cried, i walked to kitchen and picked sharp butch knife and went to my room, walked in bathroom... i did cutted my left wrist and my roomate catched me, screamedddddd at houseparent and stopped me. and sent me to see nurse to checked on it... next day, they called my mom, she drove 2 hrs and half to came my school, i wont talk staff why i did that.. til my mom arrived, she looked at me, say why did u do that?? i told her U ARE FUCKIING NOT BELIEVE WHAT STEPFATHER DID TO ME???!!!!! with my cried... my staff calmed me down.. my mom say nutthin and upset... then she picked me up and went home for one week... we went counselor about that... stepfather made look a innocent, say didnt touch me UGH! got me upset, and cried... after gradated, we been fight lot, my mom tired of it, tried make us stopped fight.. i never along with him shyt! he been yelled, everything at my face.. he still with my mom , i been see his face everday, it still BOTHER ME!!!!! i still think of past.. i know it not good idea for me to think of past but he still around here and it bother me... rebelgirl and punkywolfy know about that... *tearing* excuse me for cry... sigh...

I CANT WAIT MOVE OUT OWN HOUSE MYSELF!!!! so i wont think of him, it help me lot..
Click to expand...

he is so sicko! hope one day u ll move out :hug:
 
^Angel^ said:
Oh yeah, I had commit suicide while I was still in high school and during my marriage also...

During my high school years there were so many things going on, my parents divorce, my real mom beaten us, a friend from my class killed himself, my ex bf broke my heart, it was just too much to deal with, so I was feeling so depressed to the point where I didn't want to live no more.....While my real mom was working, and my sister Cheri went off with a friend to church, and it was a perfect time for me to do it, so I went in the kitchen, took out the electric knife, and put the two sharp knife in the electric machine, plug it in the bathroom and pressed the electric knife on my left arm, and let it move back and fourth, but knife got a bit jammed up so I moved it to another area of my arm so I could cut myself even more, I end up slicing my skin 8 times in a row which I have 8 scars on my arm, and by the time Cheri arrived home, she was the one who grabbed it away and end up having her friend taking me to the hospital and end up having stitches....


During my trouble marriage, this happened after my second child, I came to the point where the abuse was getting too much, so I tried to hang myself in the bathroom shower but it rod fell off, wasn't strong enough to hold....I tried to take a bottle of pills, but dump it out in the toliet, and I got tired of my ex husband kept calling me a bunch of fat names and etc, so I end up starving myself every day until every 7 th day, I would eat something little just to keep me going....I end up the hospital 3 times over that.....Then things changes later after seeing my second son hidding in the closet when my ex husband throw his temper around, and the abuse was getting out of control, so I stop feeling sorry for myself and do something about it, instead of sitting around being depressed, and trying to end my life without thinking how my kids will live without their mother, all those questions were running through my mind, so I stop being depressed about how things are going around in my life knowing that life can get tough sometimes, and there are other ways to make your life better without having to end your life....I put my children first, and start working on becoming stronger person and be able to leave without looking back, so I did....And now I'm the happiest woman who has a great relationship with someone who is such a gentleman, and I have my beautiful sons to raises and to be there for them whatever they need me....

Now that I looked up to God even more when I'm feeling down on some things, and later I feel better knowing He's there right beside me, and an angel too.....
Click to expand...

agree, happy for u
 
Yup, having kids can change your perspective, just like me. My son is like sunshine for my life. I can't image knowing that he knew he lost his own dad over issues that his dad can't handle. Its too much for me to think this way.

Nobody deserve to be name called! I never namecalled to any of my ex gf! Sometimes I did insult, and never meant to hurt feeling. I blurt out before I think first sometimes. However never once called somebody names like what your ex hubby did.

^Angel^ said:
Oh yeah, I had commit suicide while I was still in high school and during my marriage also...

During my high school years there were so many things going on, my parents divorce, my real mom beaten us, a friend from my class killed himself, my ex bf broke my heart, it was just too much to deal with, so I was feeling so depressed to the point where I didn't want to live no more.....While my real mom was working, and my sister Cheri went off with a friend to church, and it was a perfect time for me to do it, so I went in the kitchen, took out the electric knife, and put the two sharp knife in the electric machine, plug it in the bathroom and pressed the electric knife on my left arm, and let it move back and fourth, but knife got a bit jammed up so I moved it to another area of my arm so I could cut myself even more, I end up slicing my skin 8 times in a row which I have 8 scars on my arm, and by the time Cheri arrived home, she was the one who grabbed it away and end up having her friend taking me to the hospital and end up having stitches....


During my trouble marriage, this happened after my second child, I came to the point where the abuse was getting too much, so I tried to hang myself in the bathroom shower but it rod fell off, wasn't strong enough to hold....I tried to take a bottle of pills, but dump it out in the toliet, and I got tired of my ex husband kept calling me a bunch of fat names and etc, so I end up starving myself every day until every 7 th day, I would eat something little just to keep me going....I end up the hospital 3 times over that.....Then things changes later after seeing my second son hidding in the closet when my ex husband throw his temper around, and the abuse was getting out of control, so I stop feeling sorry for myself and do something about it, instead of sitting around being depressed, and trying to end my life without thinking how my kids will live without their mother, all those questions were running through my mind, so I stop being depressed about how things are going around in my life knowing that life can get tough sometimes, and there are other ways to make your life better without having to end your life....I put my children first, and start working on becoming stronger person and be able to leave without looking back, so I did....And now I'm the happiest woman who has a great relationship with someone who is such a gentleman, and I have my beautiful sons to raises and to be there for them whatever they need me....

Now that I looked up to God even more when I'm feeling down on some things, and later I feel better knowing He's there right beside me, and an angel too.....
Click to expand...
 
My ex-wife was very very suicidal especially during the winter holidays. She'd come to me holding a knife on her wrist and threatening to kill herself if I go to the family holiday parties. She hated my family for some reason. I had to go through 5 years of this. I'm glad it's over. I'm glad we split almost 3 yrs ago.

Richard
 
True Diehardbiker....

Well that's all in the past now, I don't think of it anymore and now I know it's wrong to end your own life when it's not even your time to die....

I guess being young can play a few tricks on your mind when you're not thinking clearly on what you're doing to the people around you or to your own children....


Sometimes I do look back at the things I've done that I wish I never had done it in the first place..... :ugh:


Anyways Thanks for listening.... :bump: LOL
 
OMG!!!! He made me so mad!!! I wish I could kick his ugly ass! UGH! I am sorry you went thru terrbile time!! ((HUGS)))

TweetyBird said:
i was turned 16 yrs old, i admitted to my mom about my 3rd stepfather that he did touched my area when i was 4 and half yrs old, my mom, him and i lived in houtson, texas... he pulled my hand on his area to play, i dont know what that and i was scared... til we moved to alabama 84, he did to me again while my mom was sleep... so he made me to not tell anyone or even my mom or he will hurt me... so i got scared and hold myself til i turned 16 yrs old, i felt ready to tell my mom on the phone, i was at my dorm... she dont believe what i say.. so i got brokeheart and cried, i walked to kitchen and picked sharp butch knife and went to my room, walked in bathroom... i did cutted my left wrist and my roomate catched me, screamedddddd at houseparent and stopped me. and sent me to see nurse to checked on it... next day, they called my mom, she drove 2 hrs and half to came my school, i wont talk staff why i did that.. til my mom arrived, she looked at me, say why did u do that?? i told her U ARE FUCKIING NOT BELIEVE WHAT STEPFATHER DID TO ME???!!!!! with my cried... my staff calmed me down.. my mom say nutthin and upset... then she picked me up and went home for one week... we went counselor about that... stepfather made look a innocent, say didnt touch me UGH! got me upset, and cried... after gradated, we been fight lot, my mom tired of it, tried make us stopped fight.. i never along with him shyt! he been yelled, everything at my face.. he still with my mom , i been see his face everday, it still BOTHER ME!!!!! i still think of past.. i know it not good idea for me to think of past but he still around here and it bother me... rebelgirl and punkywolfy know about that... *tearing* excuse me for cry... sigh...

I CANT WAIT MOVE OUT OWN HOUSE MYSELF!!!! so i wont think of him, it help me lot..
Click to expand...
 
Last edited by a moderator:
:jaw: @ Tweetybirdie's post....

That must be awful to go thru something like this, I'm curious does your mom believes you now?....
 
Mama2AFTIV said:
OMG!!!! He made me so mad!!! I wish I could kick his ugly ass! UGH! I am sorry you went thru terrbile time!! ((HUGS)))
Click to expand...
yea i know that.. i cant wait.. sigh!
 
Last edited by a moderator:
^Angel^ said:
:jaw: @ Tweetybirdie's post....

That must be awful to go thru something like this, I'm curious does your mom believes you now?....
Click to expand...
she say believe me yea but i told her no make sense that she still with him... why not leave him???? i did spoke out to her 2 weeks ago, i cried hard, cuz of i went counselor... i told her why not u leave him? cuz of she scare of him?? or cant afford live herself??? and i told her if i have a daughter or son, i will leave him for touch on kid! i will! i cant stay with him for that.. hell no! i will leave! if i have kids i WONT ALLOW him keep my kids PERIOD! my mom gulped and feel bad! i told her if she wanna see my kids then come over my house period! she got tear and say nutthin... i got feel good spoke out to her with my cried hard....
 
I agreed with you, TB! If anyone touch my kid, I'll kick his damn ASS!!!

Can't she leave him? That's so digust for her to stay with him. UGH!!!!


TweetyBird said:
she say believe me yea but i told her no make sense that she still with him... why not leave him???? i did spoke out to her 2 weeks ago, i cried hard, cuz of i went counselor... i told her why not u leave him? cuz of she scare of him?? or cant afford live herself??? and i told her if i have a daughter or son, i will leave him for touch on kid! i will! i cant stay with him for that.. hell no! i will leave! if i have kids i WONT ALLOW him keep my kids PERIOD! my mom gulped and feel bad! i told her if she wanna see my kids then come over my house period! she got tear and say nutthin... i got feel good spoke out to her with my cried hard....
Click to expand...
 
Mama2AFTIV said:
I agreed with you, TB! If anyone touch my kid, I'll kick his damn ASS!!!

Can't she leave him? That's so digust for her to stay with him. UGH!!!!
Click to expand...
yea i know that.. she cant answer it.. so i told her that i am not going chase her and leave him.. now i am back off and let her whatever she wanna to.. so i dont help anymore.. i fed up already...
 
I had no idea, I thought you and your mom lives alone, this is the first time I heard about this....I'm sorry that this had happened to you, and I'm also sorry that your mom is unable to leave him....

I used to be in your mom's shoes where I thought I couldn't possible raises 3 children on my own and paying the bills by myself, but I had to think of my children first than worry about whether I would make it or not on my own, sometimes your mom would be surprise to see how many single moms out there really made it on their own without any help, and I am impressed that they haven't give up even when life gets a bit hard sometimes.....

I know your mom may be scared of what it like to be on her own, but sometimes it works for the best and things do get better later on....
 
She won't leave because she love his prick???? OH GRIEF!

I agreed with you to back off and let her go. *sigh*

True, just let her go and she decide what she wanted to do. :hug:



TweetyBird said:
yea i know that.. she cant answer it.. so i told her that i am not going chase her and leave him.. now i am back off and let her whatever she wanna to.. so i dont help anymore.. i fed up already...
Click to expand...
 
TweetyBird said:
i was turned 16 yrs old, i admitted to my mom about my 3rd stepfather that he did touched my area when i was 4 and half yrs old, my mom, him and i lived in houtson, texas... he pulled my hand on his area to play, i dont know what that and i was scared... til we moved to alabama 84, he did to me again while my mom was sleep... so he made me to not tell anyone or even my mom or he will hurt me... so i got scared and hold myself til i turned 16 yrs old, i felt ready to tell my mom on the phone, i was at my dorm... she dont believe what i say.. so i got brokeheart and cried, i walked to kitchen and picked sharp butch knife and went to my room, walked in bathroom... i did cutted my left wrist and my roomate catched me, screamedddddd at houseparent and stopped me. and sent me to see nurse to checked on it... next day, they called my mom, she drove 2 hrs and half to came my school, i wont talk staff why i did that.. til my mom arrived, she looked at me, say why did u do that?? i told her U ARE FUCKIING NOT BELIEVE WHAT STEPFATHER DID TO ME???!!!!! with my cried... my staff calmed me down.. my mom say nutthin and upset... then she picked me up and went home for one week... we went counselor about that... stepfather made look a innocent, say didnt touch me UGH! got me upset, and cried... after gradated, we been fight lot, my mom tired of it, tried make us stopped fight.. i never along with him shyt! he been yelled, everything at my face.. he still with my mom , i been see his face everday, it still BOTHER ME!!!!! i still think of past.. i know it not good idea for me to think of past but he still around here and it bother me... rebelgirl and punkywolfy know about that... *tearing* excuse me for cry... sigh...

I CANT WAIT MOVE OUT OWN HOUSE MYSELF!!!! so i wont think of him, it help me lot..
Click to expand...

I am really sorry to hear about that, but I would feel really happy for you when you get your own place so you don't have to worry about your stepfather.
 
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