Friend?

Eve

Eve

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After reading through some other topic areas in this forum, I have come to the conclusion that many of us have differing opinions on what a friend is or is not. What is your definition of a friend?

I believe a friend is someone who respects your opinion even when it differs from their own. A true friend would never try and force their opinions or thoughts on you, or think any less of you because you have your own POV. A friend would never coerce you into taking their side, by means of threat or out of sympathy. In essence, friends RESPECT one another.
 
Yes, but at the same time you need to juggle feelings - it may end up choosing between your feelings and your friends' feelings... sometimes it's better to turn the other cheek instead of giving in to your wrath or posting a POV that you KNOW will hurt others badly.
 
DreamDeaf said:
Yes, but at the same time you need to juggle feelings - it may end up choosing between your feelings and your friends' feelings... sometimes it's better to turn the other cheek instead of giving in to your wrath or posting a POV that you KNOW will hurt others badly.
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i agree with u... good point!
 
Eve said:
After reading through some other topic areas in this forum, I have come to the conclusion that many of us have differing opinions on what a friend is or is not. What is your definition of a friend?

I believe a friend is someone who respects your opinion even when it differs from their own. A true friend would never try and force their opinions or thoughts on you, or think any less of you because you have your own POV. A friend would never coerce you into taking their side, by means of threat or out of sympathy. In essence, friends RESPECT one another.
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:gpost: I have the same definition of a friend as you do.

DreamDeaf said:
Yes, but at the same time you need to juggle feelings - it may end up choosing between your feelings and your friends' feelings... sometimes it's better to turn the other cheek instead of giving in to your wrath or posting a POV that you KNOW will hurt others badly.
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:gpost:


But what is the problem with this: Crab Theory.
 
I just thought of something - its okay to say you speak whats in your mind, being blunt, voicing your POV about someone - however - you can say all you want... but eventually it will all blow up, the s*** will hit the fan, etc., etc... its more of a balancing act on what you want to say and how to word it.

You also have to be aware that friends WILL support each other - if someone says bad about one person, others will rush in to support that person being talked about and then you got a war on your hands... and you WILL get into trouble once everything has been sorted out and all statements taken...and when they find out it came from you or someone, then there's a new problem...

Friends come and go, but there are friends for LIFE. No matter what happens, those friends will always be there for you no matter what goes on in your or their lives.

I know. I'm one of those lifetime friends.
 
A friend will try to understand others and accept their POV's, rather than taking everything personally. If there is a misunderstanding, a real friend will talk it out with their friend rather than simply jumping to conclusions and cutting the friend off.
 
Magatsu said:
:gpost: But what is the problem with this: Crab Theory.
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I know. I have been the victim of this ... THREE times. I am currently going thru the third situation at this time - and I have taken steps to end the situation that may be or not be good for me. Only time will tell. I am just glad that I have friends that support me and are not voicing their personal opinions about it publicily... *sigh* it's not easy being Deaf sometimes.
 
Eve said:
A friend will try to understand others and accept their POV's, rather than taking everything personally. If there is a misunderstanding, a real friend will talk it out with their friend rather than simply jumping to conclusions and cutting the friend off.
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Exactly. That is where the balancing act comes in. You have to accept that you will always have opinions that YOU know WILL hurt your friend - and sometimes its better not to say anything or change it to something much more gentler.
 
My definition of a friend is quite simple.

A friend is someone who will treat me with the same amount of unconditional care and respect as I give them. Anyone I consider to be a friend would not be afraid to tell me when I'm wrong. (And he or she better have the facts to back it up...contrary to popular belief, I CAN take constructive criticism. :)) I want my friends to be honest with me - even if it means they have to be brutally blunt. I know I owe it to my friends to do so as well, and one of my finer qualities is my own ability to call it as I see it. I also require that my friends be good people - and aren't axe murderers or child abusers.

I also insist that someone who is a friend will listen to me, put up with me regardless of my mistakes and faults, and someone who will never judge me. Not too much to ask, is it? :)
 
DreamDeaf said:
I know. I have been the victim of this ... THREE times. I am currently going thru the third situation at this time - and I have taken steps to end the situation that may be or not be good for me. Only time will tell. I am just glad that I have friends that support me and are not voicing their personal opinions about it publicily... *sigh* it's not easy being Deaf sometimes.
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I know how you feel. Believe me. That's one of reasons why I am distancing myself from deafies (IRL) for few years now. I have been building up the friendship with hearies (my classmates, Nas' friends, co-workers, etc) for approx few years.

There is also another reason why I tend to not get involved in these kind of "talks" with deafies about others. I have to be careful with what I plan to say to them about anything else. It is unfortunate that I have to do that but that's only way for me to distance myself from these "Crab Theory" craps.

But of course, there will be always backstabbing and gossip behind our backs.. there is nothing we can do about it but be ourselves.

Edit: Oh yeah, I forget to add one thing. I still do hang out with some good deaf friends who have enough sense to understand what "friend" means.
 
Malfoyish said:
My definition of a friend is quite simple.

A friend is someone who will treat me with the same amount of unconditional care and respect as I give them. Anyone I consider to be a friend would not be afraid to tell me when I'm wrong. (And he or she better have the facts to back it up...contrary to popular belief, I CAN take constructive criticism. :)) I want my friends to be honest with me - even if it means they have to be brutally blunt. I know I owe it to my friends to do so as well, and one of my finer qualities is my own ability to call it as I see it. I also require that my friends be good people - and aren't axe murderers or child abusers.

I also insist that someone who is a friend will listen to me, put up with me regardless of my mistakes and faults, and someone who will never judge me. Not too much to ask, is it? :)
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No, Darling. It's not too much to ask. I'm the same way, and this is why you and I get along so well. :hug:
 
Eve said:
After reading through some other topic areas in this forum, I have come to the conclusion that many of us have differing opinions on what a friend is or is not. What is your definition of a friend?

I believe a friend is someone who respects your opinion even when it differs from their own. A true friend would never try and force their opinions or thoughts on you, or think any less of you because you have your own POV. A friend would never coerce you into taking their side, by means of threat or out of sympathy. In essence, friends RESPECT one another.
Click to expand...

:werd: :gpost:

I completely agree with this. I would also like to add that it is good to have decent communication skills, because, there's bound to be friction in friendships from time to time. It takes work to keep a friendship going, but if truly care about that person, you will go to any and all lengths to patch up any differences you may have with that person.
 
Malfoyish said:
My definition of a friend is quite simple.

A friend is someone who will treat me with the same amount of unconditional care and respect as I give them. Anyone I consider to be a friend would not be afraid to tell me when I'm wrong. (And he or she better have the facts to back it up...contrary to popular belief, I CAN take constructive criticism. :)) I want my friends to be honest with me - even if it means they have to be brutally blunt. I know I owe it to my friends to do so as well, and one of my finer qualities is my own ability to call it as I see it. I also require that my friends be good people - and aren't axe murderers or child abusers.

I also insist that someone who is a friend will listen to me, put up with me regardless of my mistakes and faults, and someone who will never judge me. Not too much to ask, is it? :)
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We barely talk to each other but it is not too much to ask. Cheers.

CyberRed said:
Care to tell me what's POV ?
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Point Of View.
 
Ok let me put this as an example - if one of my friends were to come up and tell me ... "Hey, you know something? You're FAT. You need to lose weight."

That is ... not constructive criticism.

That is being blunt, being rude, being hurtful.

Would you call that person a friend? Or just someone stating her own POV?
 
DreamDeaf said:
Ok let me put this as an example - if one of my friends were to come up and tell me ... "Hey, you know something? You're FAT. You need to lose weight."

That is ... not constructive criticism.

That is being blunt, being rude, being hurtful.

Would you call that person a friend? Or just someone stating her own POV?
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Me personally - I would never expect my friend to phrase it that way. I would instead hope my friend was considerate enough to pull me to the side and say, "Hey, Malfy...you know...all that excess weight isn't healthy for you. What do ya say you and I go on Weight Watchers together?" There's such a thing as tact when you approach someone.

Now, to that comment, I could choose to tell my friend to go screw herself...and that I am satisfied with my weight being as it is...

OR...

I could agree to go along with the diet with her and the friendship suffers no consequences, and it is a wake-up call of some sorts...after all, it is NICE that someone cares enough about your health to voice concern.
 
DreamDeaf said:
Ok let me put this as an example - if one of my friends were to come up and tell me ... "Hey, you know something? You're FAT. You need to lose weight."

That is ... not constructive criticism.

That is being blunt, being rude, being hurtful.

Would you call that person a friend? Or just someone stating her own POV?
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true.. i agree with u!!!!
 
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