eye contact

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I just started salsa dancing lessons - the instructor was kind to provide a flashing light that follows the music. During the class, I realized that I have been spending 22 years looking at people's mouths. I cannot maintain eye contact for more than 2 seconds at a guy. I found myself looking at him, smiling, getting nervous, looking down, then I realized I was looking at his pants (what I shouldn't be doing) and I'd jerk my head up and smile, look at him and do it over and over. It probably looked like I was falling asleep or something. Some of men are cute so I don't mind the eye contact, but I get nervous. Some are older (and married) and maintaining eye contact feels like I am flirting - an impression I do not want to give. Does anyone eles have difficulty with eye contact? How much eye contact is there supposed to be in dancing? Or when you sign, do you still look at the mouth or the eyes? I feel like I am trying too hard to do something that is naturally comfortable to people. I am making it a point to not look at other people - because I don't want them to think I don't want to dance with them at all...
 
paperclip said:
I just started salsa dancing lessons - the instructor was kind to provide a flashing light that follows the music. During the class, I realized that I have been spending 22 years looking at people's mouths. I cannot maintain eye contact for more than 2 seconds at a guy. I found myself looking at him, smiling, getting nervous, looking down, then I realized I was looking at his pants (what I shouldn't be doing) and I'd jerk my head up and smile, look at him and do it over and over. It probably looked like I was falling asleep or something. Some of men are cute so I don't mind the eye contact, but I get nervous. Some are older (and married) and maintaining eye contact feels like I am flirting - an impression I do not want to give. Does anyone eles have difficulty with eye contact? How much eye contact is there supposed to be in dancing? Or when you sign, do you still look at the mouth or the eyes? I feel like I am trying too hard to do something that is naturally comfortable to people. I am making it a point to not look at other people - because I don't want them to think I don't want to dance with them at all...
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HAHA! What an interesting topic!

I'm the same way....and yeah, I do check out an attractive guy, even looking at his pants and crotch!....Bad habit!...But I'm sure men do the same, looking at women's boobs or her azz....As for maintaining eye contact,....I do just for a little while....but look away....then look again....It makes me nervous if someone actually keeps maintaining eye contact.....it's as if they are "reading my inner secrets"......

I think with the Salsa dance, eye contact is important...I've watched the dancers on "Dancing with the Stars"...and they make long eye contact.......how they maintain it, I dunno! But they are professionals.
 
rockin'robin said:
HAHA! What an interesting topic!

I'm the same way....and yeah, I do check out an attractive guy, even looking at his pants and crotch!....Bad habit!...But I'm sure men do the same, looking at women's boobs or her azz....As for maintaining eye contact,....I do just for a little while....but look away....then look again....It makes me nervous if someone actually keeps maintaining eye contact.....it's as if they are "reading my inner secrets"......

I think with the Salsa dance, eye contact is important...I've watched the dancers on "Dancing with the Stars"...and they make long eye contact.......how they maintain it, I dunno! But they are professionals.
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With Dancing... Eye contact makes the dance totally sexy! That is why they empathize the eye contact.

Oh! Loved the movie "Dirty Dance"



Me in general I am a lip reader. So most of my visual contact is with the lips, when the person is talking to me. But when I talk to them. I make eye contact with the person I talk to.

It does not make me uncomfortable unless the conversation becomes awkward.


I love making eye contact with my husband. :naughty:
 
Women...

That's their own reason to check things out :lol:

Eye contact is important in the conversation, avoiding eye contact represents a different story.
 
JClarke said:
Women...

That's their own reason to check things out :lol:

Eye contact is important in the conversation, avoiding eye contact represents a different story.
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Sometimes yeah... a person may be just too shy, and/or lack of confidence.

I have been taught that if a person can not make eye contact is usually full of crap. It also depends on the conversation, and situation.
 
I agree with you -- all depends on these expressions and all.
 
JClarke said:
I agree with you -- all depends on these expressions and all.
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I can talk to my kids and know if they are telling the truth. Not just by eye contact. But by body language! Especially my son! :lol: I can catch him in a Fib, just by talking to him.
 
Babyblue said:
I can talk to my kids and know if they are telling the truth. Not just by eye contact. But by body language! Especially my son! :lol: I can catch him in a Fib, just by talking to him.
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Excatly, body language are most easy thing to rely on, esp, us deaf people with their own eyes. :lol:
 
I had people think that I am rude for looking that their face too much ! I went to school with a girl from Iran and my roommate ask me why I did not like the girl as I was always looking at her face! I was trying to read the girl lips and it consider rude in Iran to look at someone when talking to them! I guess I made too much eyes contact! I also check out men bulge ! If men can do why can't women!
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I had people think that I am rude for looking that their face too much ! I went to school with a girl from Iran and my roommate ask me why I did not like the girl as I was always looking at her face! I was trying to read the girl lips and it consider rude in Iran to look at someone when talking to them! I guess I made too much eyes contact! I also check out men bulge ! If men can do why can't women!
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I like to look too. Not at just the eyes. If the guy is hot. I do find my eyes straying. :naughty:
 
JClarke said:
Excatly, body language are most easy thing to rely on, esp, us deaf people with their own eyes. :lol:
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I had to learn how to read body language very young , it was the only way I knew how to stay away from my dad so he would not hit me so much! I learned if I pulled my blanket up over my face when sleeping , I would wake up if my dad can into my room to hit while I was asleep! Dad would have to pull my blanket off my face so he could hit me! And that woke me up! I was only 4 years old and I was already learning how protect myself!
 
Babyblue said:
I like to look too. Not at just the eyes. If the guy is hot. I do find my eyes straying. :naughty:
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I am going to be a dirty old lady!
I have really funny story to tell!
I was a health aid and worked in one build that had TV monitor in the lobby so the seniors could see would see who was ringing their bell before letting the person in.I had one woman client that kept her TV on all the time so she could see the people coming and going! One day I my client was all excited about what she saw on her TV! A guy can into the lobby and walked around for a second , then he pulled off this T shirt , next his shoes came off then his pants and underwear! The guy was naked in the lobby and everyone that had their TV on got a free show! My 80 years old woman client was so excited! She said she wish she a VCR player so she could had record it! It turn out the guy was drunk and thought he was home! The phone was ringing off hook at the police station , but they were laughing so hard they could not made the call right away! This made my client day or I should week! She never turn her TV off , she was waiting for rerun!
 
I have not been comfortable with making eye contact with strangers or acquaintances..and it was probably due to my extremely low self-esteem. In the past few years as I gained self confidence, I have been making an effort to make eye contact with people. Oh well.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I am going to be a dirty old lady!
I have really funny story to tell!
I was a health aid and worked in one build that had TV monitor in the lobby so the seniors could see would see who was ringing their bell before letting the person in.I had one woman client that kept her TV on all the time so she could see the people coming and going! One day I my client was all excited about what she saw on her TV! A guy can into the lobby and walked around for a second , then he pulled off this T shirt , next his shoes came off then his pants and underwear! The guy was naked in the lobby and everyone that had their TV on got a free show! My 80 years old woman client was so excited! She said she wish she a VCR player so she could had record it! It turn out the guy was drunk and thought he was home! The phone was ringing off hook at the police station , but they were laughing so hard they could not made the call right away! This made my client day or I should week! She never turn her TV off , she was waiting for rerun!
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:rofl: Bet that got their tickers going!

I used to work in an Assisted Living. So I know them little ol' ladies can be just as bad as the ol' men.


Damn! Wish I could have seen the looks on their faces. Gave them something to talk about for a while ...I bet!!! :lol:
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I am going to be a dirty old lady!
I have really funny story to tell!
I was a health aid and worked in one build that had TV monitor in the lobby so the seniors could see would see who was ringing their bell before letting the person in.I had one woman client that kept her TV on all the time so she could see the people coming and going! One day I my client was all excited about what she saw on her TV! A guy can into the lobby and walked around for a second , then he pulled off this T shirt , next his shoes came off then his pants and underwear! The guy was naked in the lobby and everyone that had their TV on got a free show! My 80 years old woman client was so excited! She said she wish she a VCR player so she could had record it! It turn out the guy was drunk and thought he was home! The phone was ringing off hook at the police station , but they were laughing so hard they could not made the call right away! This made my client day or I should week! She never turn her TV off , she was waiting for rerun!
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:lol:
 
Yeah I make eye contact... I am a lip reader so I mainly focus on the face.... I focus on the lips most of the time but I can even my eyes out that it would seem that I'm looking into the person's eyes when I'm actually focusing on it's lips.

But I must admit like some ladies did here... that if I see hot guy or something, my eyes sometimes trail down to the bulge area.... I can't help it but wonder about it before I quickly look away from the area... But Hey... we ladies can't help it... after all men do check our breasts and ass out.
 
Oh Another thing I want to add.... I'm planning to take Salsa Dancing lessons sometime in my life, hopefully in a year or two... how is it? Is it easy?
 
Babyblue said:
:rofl: Bet that got their tickers going!

I used to work in an Assisted Living. So I know them little ol' ladies can be just as bad as the ol' men.


Damn! Wish I could have seen the looks on their faces. Gave them something to talk about for a while ...I bet!!! :lol:
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My client was talking about it for a few day! You're so right old ladies can be dirty! I was at one client's home when her boyfriend was visting her. My client said after the guy left "that my boyfriend , we can't have sex anymore so he eat me out! " I almost fell off the chair when I heard that! It was not a pretty picture to have in your head! Gross! I did not write that on my report!
 
JClarke said:
Women...

That's their own reason to check things out :lol:

Eye contact is important in the conversation, avoiding eye contact represents a different story.
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In some cultures is disrespectful to made eye contact . I heard of little girl that got in trouble as she would not made eye contact with her teacher. The teacher thought the girl was being disrespectful and send her home! It turn out in the girl's culture a child is not allow to made eye contact with adults , as it is very disrespectful ! I wrote I made eye contact with a girl from Iran and she thought I did not like her! How was I to know this! I like made some eye contact in talking to a person .
 
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