Divorce impacts children....

muddeprived

muddeprived

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...and i have firsthand experience. My parent's divorced when i was in college five years ago and my perception of marriage has changed dramatically. I don't know if i want to risk sticking a loop on my mate's finger or just go steady for life. I actually "fear" marrying that i cannot attend weddings. This sucks....



Anyone experience anything like this?
 
my friend refused to divorce him.. she said " i marry him for better and for worst" It's important that you kind of get know him/her probably two years or so.. Be friend with her/ him before you feel ready yourself.. :cool2:
 
spainmale said:
my friend refused to divorce him.. she said " i marry him for better and for worst" It's important that you kind of get know him/her probably two years or so.. Be friend with her/ him before you feel ready yourself.. :cool2:
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Your friend refuse to divorce him if things are worst. I would divorce someone that cheating or abusing or very controling, or rapist or sex offender. They are very serious case that I would not stay forever. I knew a friend who had a mother. Her mother was very suffering that her husband was cheating on her many times for about 50 years. He never stop until he died. I was wondering that did she get sexual diease from her husband. I feel very sorry for someone who are stupid that they refuse divorce him or her if rapist or sex offender. They are worst than anything.
 
I knew you were right.. i urged her to divorced but she brushed me off. He was in prison for armed robbery for 15 years. She also has a teenager daughter. :ugh2:
 
Wasnt there another thread about this same thing? :repost:?
 
shel90 said:
Wasnt there another thread about this same thing? :repost:?
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I guess that Muddeprived didn't know about other thread. Muddeprived only made 4 post. Most threads always be same every year or whenever. Nothing news. We do same job daily, same cleaning, etc.
 
ghsh1996 said:
I guess that Muddeprived didn't know about other thread. Muddeprived only made 4 post. Most threads always be same every year or whenever. Nothing news. We do same job daily, same cleaning, etc.
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Oh really? Ok no problem. I havent been here for a year yet so I am still learning. :)
 
Well, my kids was devastating about my divorce. The divorce is not mainly btwn my wife and me, it's her mom severely interfere and meddling our married life and control my kids, till I finally put my foot in the ground to stop which lead in laws split in our marriage and exaggerating cause. My girls blamed grandparents and aunt that destoryed our family. My kids couldn't stand seeing I've been treating like dirt and not been respecting. My kids doesn't blame me for have someone else. Bec my kids want someone treat me like human and loved. Why? Bec how I treat my girls and never timidating them. We always share our hurts and build self esteem stronger, but hated egoism and snotted attitudes. But, I, myself, hated divorce and never dream like what I faced can happen.
 
Divorces are much more effective for those who are older, than those who are younger kids. Under the age of 5 don't usual understands about the parents divorcing, There's no choice, when parents do divorce, because if two parent stayed in the marriage, it'll be a bad influence on the kids, it's not good, kids would like to see the love affection that both parents feel for each others in front of them, not arguments, yelling, hating each others etc. If two parents cannot live under the same roof together, then it's time for a divorce, kids deserved to live/raise in a happy stable home, with two people that love each others.

And, children do not need to be in the middle of a tag a war battle between two parents when they do see the kids, if one absent parent take visitations, that parent should not bad mouth their ex spouse's relationship or spouse's lifestyle etc, same goes for the ex spouse too not to bad mouth about the ex spouse either. Those kids would love both parents equally, not one better than the other. So, Hope parents and in laws out there don't make it harder on them. ;)
 
I am an adult child of divorced parents--ACODP.. not CODA!! Ok? That is some friends and my idea to be called. Anyway, my parents went through bitter separation and divorce in the 70s. It was bad. Then it gotten worse. My father married the next day after the divorce was final. That was nuts! He married a horrible person--she drinks alot and smoke alot. Blah!

It was fustrated because I was a student at deaf residental school and only home on weekends and vacation weeks/summers off. Well, during school year, every other weekends, I get to see either my mom or my father. It was hard!

That is another reason why I married late in life. I got married at age 41 rather than half of that age. I feared divorce, I feared to have kids because of divorce. My wife knows this and already had a talk. I wanted to have kids but my wife is done having children for personal reasons (age is one common reason but its something else. Sorry, private!)

Also the maturity I feared from the younger ones back then. So immature ladies and all. Many still do in their 20s and early 30s. No offense, ladies!

My sister is divorced already and my brother is in process. He got separated in 2005. It was horrible.

I pray my marriage to Tara who really communicate with me the best will cement our marriage for life. It is still not easy. I tell ya, marriage is hard work for everyone, really. Feel free to ask anybody who is married.

Have you considered you may not be a marriage material? Single all your life. Hey, you have choices YOURSELF!! No decisions from your spouse. You have right to live anywhere you want to be! Maybe not on Mars yet. LOL!

You have rights to have your house you want. Size, style, how many bathrooms, etc.

You have more money freedom!!! You can go buy that nice new car you like or RV or whatever because you do not have children to support and no wife to support!

Look at my brother. His is awful! The law for child support may have gone too far. But it is good idea to have it but I rather to change it a bit. Lower and only billed to halves of only necessary bills.

Well, the law sucks since it is almost HALF of what my brother earns goes to his child support to pay for his 2 boys. Hey, his ex to be just bought a brand new SUV! Why??? She has a banking job plus the child support. I dislike that. My brother has no cable TV because of that reason. 400 dollars for two boys PER WEEK! I feel bad for him. He has to sell his house and buy a house that he can rent the other half to tenants to help pay for mortgage.

Is that awful!? He makes 1000 a week at a factory.

Another thing, like Britney and Fed-X, you can see why Fed-X wants his children. Its Brit's MONEY!!!

That is why I like child support laws change to just medical bills, actual half grocery bills, half of clothes bills, etc.. that way, its strictly controlled and not get child support for personal expenses other than for wealth to the bank!

So, buddy, my advice, stay free as a freebird!!!! Hey, divorce cost 10 times the cost of a wedding as a famous saying in hearing world. Way more these days.
 
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